rhythm
I really hate that I like a (new) Katy Perry song in this day and age of 2017, but it struck me as pretty relatable and. This would kinda be based on one of those generic AUs were the protagonist is the new-girl-next door and Lillie is just living a sad, controlled life. So, almost 3AM angst brought to you by the letters glazed ass.
Aren't you lonely
Up there in utopia
Where nothing will ever be enough?
Happily numb
So comfortable, we're living in a bubble, bubble
So comfortable, we cannot see the trouble, trouble - Chained to the Rhythm (Katy Perry)
Lillie nibbled on the end of her pencil, staring blankly at her homework sheets. Every night the deal was the same. If she managed to finish all of her homework by a certain time, she'd be allotted two hours' worth of TV time. But since she was homeschooled, the tutor always gave her enough homework to keep her up well past her bedtime. She had told him previously that it was too much of a workload, but he had disagreed and Mother agreed with him. Since she was such a prodigy student already, she should make sure to keep her studies up well in advance.
Even if that was all she ever did.
She glanced at her tattered copy of The Great Gatsby. It was the only old, dirty thing she owned, given to her by her older brother, Gladion, before he had run away again for about the third or fourth time. She couldn't blame him, really; sometimes she had thoughts of running away as well.
Mother knew this too, and one time she confronted her about it. You'd never last, she said with that smug look in her eyes. Do you know how many beasts would tear you up if you were allowed one step out of this hope? Ohoho. A pretty girl like you...your brother is a beast. That's why he can survive. But he can't succeed. And that's why he keeps crawling back here.
She was wrong about that. Gladion kept coming back because every time he was away from the house too long, he'd get in trouble somehow, and Social Services would always drag him back. Somehow Mother was never blamed for it; Lillie suspected she always paid them off. But she was right about her not lasting in the Alolan region by herself.
At least...that's what she used to think, but now she wasn't that sure. Looking at her half-chewed pencil, she grimaced and was tempted to stick it in the flower pot, but instead she silently put it behind her ear. If Mother found her doing such a disgusting habit, she'd probably smack her for it, but there weren't many other ways to procrastinate. Other than the book, her room was pristine, perfect, like a dollhouse. Or, more specifically, like a hospital dollhouse - empty and soulless. The walls were a dull white, decorated with doilies and frilly, pink curtains. The bed was pink and white, and at the foot of it was a pink shag rug. There was even a pink and white rocking Rapidash in the corner.
Every time she even thought of that rocking Rapidash, she wanted to suplex it into pieces. She hadn't been able to fit on that thing since she was six, but Mother insisted it was a proper toy for a young lady her age. Yes, for a young lady at eleven, one who did high school Kalosian language classes and who secretly read her brother's stash of shounen manga whenever he was around long enough. Lillie bet that if she actually got on the darned thing and broke it, Mother would probably blame it on her weight. Always the perfect weight for the perfect daughter.
There were muffled voices in the next room over. It was probably Mother and her assistant, Wicke, as always. Everyone knew that they were in a relationship, but no one ever mentioned it out loud. Mother had mentioned once about such a relationship being impure and sinful, so the logic there was that if she didn't acknowledge it as an actual relationship, she'd be doing nothing wrong. Lillie was pretty sure that Wicke deserved better. She did most of Mother's administrative tasks when she was away on business trips and meetings, and all she got in return was a slightly above-minimum wage job, a few spankings, and an angel and devil child. And Mother had the ability be so much kinder and gentler than what she'd been showing these past few months.
But since no one ever challenged her, she was free to do whatever she pleased, however she pleased.
Thud. Someone slammed into the wall. Lillie flinched and quickly took out a pen from her pencil case. If Mother was being violent with Wicke, there was a 50/50 chance that one or both of them would be checking up on her soon, and if they caught her slacking off...well, it never ended well. It would always be her fault, no matter how far ahead she was in her studies. And then there would be the questions, like why did she still keep that old book instead of buying a nice, clean copy? Or why was she so obsessed with that scumbag neighbor girl across the street?
Actually...
Hesitating for a moment, she glanced at the door and listened to see if the storm would make her way within a few seconds. When things got quiet again, she pulled out a pair of binoculars from one of her locked drawers and pressed her nose against the window. Across the street a tanned girl in a tube top and a glove-shaped hat was yelling at a pack of wild Rockruff. It looked like they wanted to peek inside whatever was inside the trash. Behind them was the girl's mother, who was trying her best not to laugh at them. Lillie's lips couldn't help curling up into a smile, too.
So, this was what a normal life looked like. All of Mother's wild stories of the Alolan natives being too stupid and the new neighbors being too shabby and devious were proven to be all untrue, but Lillie had always known that, deep in her heart. She wanted to get to know the new girl, Moon, better, too. She and her mother were still unpacking, it seemed like, but every time she ran around outside it was like a breath of fresh air smacked against Lillie's windows. Was it her smile? Her personality? The way she high-fived her hat so stupidly whenever she thought no one else wasn't looking? Probably all of the above. But every time she saw Moon, she felt like they could almost become...friends. Lillie never had a real friend before, so she wasn't sure how that would go, but she liked to imagine it'd go well. They could burn her rocking Rapidash and have one of those over-the-top parties like Mr. Gatsby did to alleviate his insecurities.
No. That was something only disillusioned people like she and Mother would do.
Sighing, she stared outside until Moon threw out the trash and ran back into her house and there was a soft knock on her door. Lillie temporarily threw her binoculars in the trash and sat up straight, waiting for her visitor. She gave a louder sigh of relief as Wicke shuffled in, rolling onto her bed. There were marks on the side of her face and her neck, but Lillie knew better than to say something about them. They both already knew what had happened, and they also knew that Wicke would keep allowing it in the future.
All she could do was walk over to her bed and kneel on the floor, wiping the blood and snot away from the woman's nose. Wicke sniffled and smiled, gently taking a hold of her wrist. Soon she sat up on the bed, and with a final blow of the nose, she gained enough composure to speak. "Sorry," she murmured. There were never enough sorries in the world with Wicke. "We really should be better role models for you two."
Lillie shrugged. "Aren't all adults like this? You're both stressed with work. I understand."
"There's a lot you still don't understand, Miss Lillie. That's your mother's and my faults. You're so sheltered."
She kept silent. Wicke was saying the obvious, but what use were the words if nothing could be done about them? She and Moon and Gladion would all live their separate lives, bound by the painful status quo's rules and regulations, and would they ever break them? Would they ever be happy beyond how people told them to be happy?
Wicke tried to hold her hand, but she pulled away. While it usually was a comforting gesture, it now felt like one of Mother's attacks. She didn't feel like being patronized tonight. "Things will be better soon, Miss Lillie. We just need to have faith in ourselves. You're such a sweet girl and deserve so much more."
She shut her eyes, hoping not to cry in front of her. Even though Wicke wouldn't say anything, she would know, and that was too much for Lillie. Even if she didn't want to be this beautiful, young fool that Mother and everyone else wanted her to be, what else would she have in life if she didn't continue living up to that image? And so for now she'd continue being the beautiful, young fool, lingering on other people's suggestions until she was finally brave enough to take those steps on her owns.
"I know."
