This is a little rambling poem that I made up in a spate of boredom. The syllables don't fit so well, but other than that I'm happy it managed to rhyme (although at times it's a bit forced), other than the three-line stanzas. Feel free to flame, I don't mind.

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The world began on Sunday, and He said, Let there be Light,
And lo, it was bright in darkness, though pretty black and white.
For four days more He made the world, the stuff that's all around,
From the annoying sun at midday to the unforgiving ground.
And on Day Six He surveyed it, thought to Himself aloud,
"The beasts are nice and quiet, but a fairly stupid crowd.
What if - what if - I made one that wasn't quite as dumb?"
And He wondered if he ought to, while chewing on His thumb.

Eden wasn't that great an idea. After all, think of all the animals.
Done that? Now think of their poo.
If only He had thought to make litter boxes.

At length He said, O What the Heck, I'll just give it a shot.
(And at this point in time He had indeed made Hell so hot
That the Fallen Angels took one look and wondered why the Hell
Did you need that much brimstone and spikes, and all the flames as well,
When there was barely room to breathe and the smoke was choking thick,
And Lucifer shook his fist at Him, calling Him a Bloody Prick.
In return for the lung cancer, the demons hatched a plan.)
But all you need to know for now is that God created Man.

Incidentally, that makes the seventh day Saturday,
And the Seventh Day Adventists right, and everyone else wrong.
And the first Sabbath was not black in the least.

When Man awoke, he yawned and stretched, and looked about the place,
Imagine how surprised he was when he saw his Creator's face,
And God smiled (as always), and told him his name was Adam,
And the first thing the first human said was: "Madam, I'm Adam?"
God facepalmed. You can't blame Him - Man was supposed to be smart.
(And He sure didn't look like a woman. What a way for humanity to start.)
Never mind, said He, you're the first man, and Eden is for you.
Oh. Cool, Adam said. Could I have someone else to talk to?

So God took one of Adam's ribs and made woman.
Isn't that nice? I don't need to tell you it hurt like anything.
Adam invented the first swear words shortly after.

Then, of course, there was that awful business with the fruit,
The serpent tried to hit on Eve, saying, You look so cute.
Privately, Eve thought the snake was quite out of his mind,
So she politely took the fruit, just trying to be kind.
Though she refused to meet the snake for dinner the next night,
Her one mistake was not making Serpent take the first bite.
And as she left to share the apple with Man Number One,
The serpent grinned: "Now that's what I call a job well done."

And that means, Salazar Slytherin wasn't the first Parselmouth.
And the first wizard was really a witch without knowing it.
So maybe J.K. Rowling is a witch.

As the angel of the Eastern Gate watched the figures in the rain,
He frowned thoughtfully, and hummed a short refrain
That hadn't been composed yet, and thought about the moon,
And the snake told him, I said, that went down like a lead balloon.
By the way, where's your flaming sword? Did you throw it away?
The angel said, Er. Well, I didn't need it anyway,
And they looked so cold and there are beasts, so I decided to
Give it to them, they'll need it. What? What did I do?
And the angel and the serpent sat at the gate quite long,
Wondering, in the end, who did right and who did wrong.

And if you support evolution, here's where you went wrong.
If survival of the fittest eliminates stupidity and bad traits,
Explain where humanity came from.