The Last Human
My name Roderick Green, and I have some truly bizarre dreams. All of my life I had had bizarre dreams, and usually I could remember them completely. This one though was beyond a shadow of a doubt one of the bizarrest dreams I had ever had.
I was in a king sized bed, much larger then the twin sized piece of crap I sleapt in. The bed was just kind of floating in darkness, no idea where I actually was. I was fully dressed, and actualy wearing ski-pants along with my winter coat. Their were two women in the room with me, one on the bed attempting to give me a blow job. The other was standing beside me, wearing a buisness suit, pokeball ear rings, and holding a clip board. She was making little marks on the board.
"Uh, could you tell me what's going on?" I asked. The first woman, who I couldn't see, only sort of glimpse, didn't look up. The other woman made a tisk-tisk noise.
"Talking out of turn, that's ten points" She said.
"Ten points?!" I cried "What the frick are you talking about? Are you honestly grading me?" She sighed again, and began to scribble on the clip board. "Err, not that I mind being graded"
"We believe you in you Roddy" A new voice called out.
"We'll be with you all the way" I looked past the clip board woman, to see Bocco and Ieago staring at me. Now before I tell you about them, let me tell you a little bit about my life.
I had been legally emancipated at 16, over seven years ago. In that time, I had held over seventy different jobs, occupations, careers, or what ever crap term you want to use. Pokemon trainer had been one of the shortest ones, it fit in the three week stretch between janitor and unlicensed bar tender.
Bocco and Ieago were the only pokemon I had managed to catch, and they still lived with me. Bocco was a Scyther who I had never seen attack anything, and Ieago was a male Gardevoir. Bocco had two foam fingers one, except since she didn't have fingers, they were more like foam blade cozies. Ieago was just sitting and staring at me with that disturbing one-eyed stare.
"You've taken your focus off of your task" The woman said. Suddenly, I could smell something. Up until that point I could only see every one in the room, and hear them in my head. I hadn't been able to smell anything though.
I could smell smoke. It seemed out of place, if you could believe that anything was out of place in this dream. I began to cough heavily.
"Guys, do you smell that?"
"You can do it Roddy"
"Talking again Mr. Green? How many times do I have to get on you about that."
"Guys!" Now I felt like I was being smothered. Suddenly every one went quiet, and started to get dim.
WHAM! It was at that moment I tumbled out of bed and slammed my head on the floor. Slowly I pushed my self up, rubbing my head slowly.
"Crapballs" I mumbled, cracking my eyes open. The light from the outside stabbed me in the brain. I stopped for a moment and rubbed my head. "Let's try this again" I opened my eyes slowly, and took an inventory of my room. Crappy carpeting here since WWI? Check. Ceiling with asbestos, and orange walls with peeling lead paint? Check. Ratty bed for you, and even rattier twin bed for Bocco and Ieago? Check. Smell of smoke, nope that's unusual.
The smoke was only faint, and I couldn't see any of it. Once you smell the slightest hint of smoke, you have to sneak it out. I kicked my covers all the way off, and headed out.
The smell lead me out of my apartment, and right across the hall to Ms. Kotrokas, a 90 year old woman who was scared of her DVD player. I immediately began to bang on the door.
"Ms. Kotrokas? It's Roddy, from across the hall. I smelled smoke and" I could see it pouring out from under the door. "And I think you may be on fire so I'm coming in" Ms. Kotrokas never kept her door locked, her hope being someone would break in and kill her. I pulled open the door to see her sitting on her rocking chair in her living room. Ms. K was completely ablaze, a large tower of fire having consumed the chair and beginning to consume the carpeting. "Awe crud"
I ran to the fire extinguisher in the hall, kept behind a thing of glass. It came with a little metal stick so you could break it in case of an emergency. "I think this qualifies" I grabbed the extinguisher and galloped back to Ms. K's apartment. I pointed the nozzle at the fire, and tried to squirt.
Nothing. The metal pin was out of the extinguisher, it should have been working. I banged the thing against the door way, only to have it let out a spurt. "Finally" I aimed, and sprayed the fire. It took the entire extinguisher, but Ms. K was finally put out.
"Ski?" I looked over at Ms. K's Skitty, whose name escapes me. It was staring at the burned up corpse of it's owner.
"I think we both knew that smoking would kill her" I said, "Never like this though. Better call the police" I should have been curious as to why nobody other then me had come out to see what was going on, but I wasn't.
Ms. K's phone was in the shape of a Skitty, one of the things that lead me to believe this woman had some serious problems. I picked it up and began dialing without listening to the dile tone. I stopped though when I didn't hear any noise from pressing the buttons.
"Hello?" I put the phone down and picked it up again. No dial tone, no noise what so ever. Completely dead. "Of course, Ms. K dies so the phone follows suit" I put it down, and headed out of the apartment, the stupid Skitty following behind me. I walked to the apartment to the immediate left of Ms. K's, and started pounding.
"This is Roddy from across the hall" I yelled, "It's an emergency, I need to borrow your cellphone" No response. "Seriously, big emergency, we've got a dead woman here!" Nothing. "I'm not leaving jerk!" I grabbed the knob, and tried to force the door open.
Well the door cracked open after I forced it, and a pale hand fell out. "That's not a very good sign is it?" I tried pushing on the door, forcing it further open, but it felt like I was pushing against a bag of meat. In a way, I really was. I eventually got it open, and with a loud thud, a pale body hit the ground. It was a balding man with square glasses, wearing an ugly neon green track suit. His eyes were wide, and his mouth was half open. Their was a line of dried blood on the side of his face, coming from his mouth.
I should have been freaked out. I really should have, except I wasn't scared. I wasn't surprised, or horrified, just cold. I was very cold, as if someone had dropped a block of ice into my stomach.
It's obviously just a delayed reaction, you're going to
I threw up. Huh, felt something that time.
I bent down to the track-suit man, to get a look at him. His eyes were milky, but they scared me. They kept looking at me, making my skin crawl. I moved his glasses up, and closed the eyes, before continuing to explore the apartment.
"Did a doily throw up in here?" I mumbled, as I stepped over the track suit man. Their were doilies on every thing, on the over stuffed couch, on the table, on the TV, on the window seal, even on the floor of the cage of their Chatot. That last one was hanging in the corner, sound asleep. What ever had killed this man had been quiet enough not to wake the bird. I chose not to disturb it, and moved onto the bed room.
The bed room was stiflingly hot, and considering it was mid June, just standing in the room was nearly unbearable. Their was a woman in the bed, and it didn't take a genius to realize she was dead. Her chest wasn't moving, though I hoped it was because of the multiple blankets she was wearing. I tip-toed to the other side of the room, to see her.
"Ski?" The Skitty from Ms. K's place was still following me. She now looked up at me, inquisitive as to what was going on. The woman in the beds face said it all. Her hair was limp, her eyes half open, and the area around her mouth stained with blood.
"Ga-ga-yaga" For some reason, this dead body hit me like a sledge hammer to the chest, causing me to turn tail and run. I made it to the living room, before my leg got caught on the dead man's leg, and I slammed against the ground. "Son of a" I was now laying on a dead man. "GAH!" I leapt up, and practically flew out of the room, followed by the Skitty.
"Hello? Help me!" I shrieked, running down the hall and pounding on doors. "Somebody please help me! It's an emergency, I need help! Yaaaaaahhhhh" I collapsed against the wall at the end of the hall. No one came out of a door, no one was curious about the screaming man. "Why would they be, they're dead?" Skitty crawled into my lap, and began mewing. "T-they're all dead aren't t-they? Fuck, sorry Momma (My mother told me never to curse, had to apologize to her every time I did), they're all dead. I-I don't....GAH"
I don't know how long I sat there, a few minutes, a year, time no longer mattered. Eventually though I stood up, and some how I got back to my apartment. I sort of maneuvered my body, but I don't know how. Bocco and Ieago were still asleep in the roll away bed I bought them (figured it had to be nicer then a freaking ball). When I walked in, Bocco finally perked her head up.
"Scy?" I smiled at her, but she knew something was wrong. She saw it in my eyes, my empty and hopeless eyes.
"They're dead" I said, "Every freaking person in my building is dead. I don't know why, or how, and it doesn't matter! They're all freaking dead!" I walked over to my window, and rolled up the blinds, to get a good look outside.
I had an apartment on the fifth floor of a building for the retired and the hopeless. I'm still not sure which category I fit into. It gave me a great view of main street in Mesa City, my wonderful and cherished city. I liked having the view usually, but today it was horrifying.
People, dead people every where. Bikes overturned, cars crashed against buildings and poles, body's laying in the street. The only living thing I saw were a pair of Growlithe, who were running down the street. Every so often one of them would stop and bark franticly, before running again.
I giggled at the sight, and the fell to the ground. I kept giggling, unable to keep my self from laughing stupidly
It's finally happened, I've finally gone insane.
Ieago and Bocco came over to the window, one on each side of me. Ieago placed his hand against the glass.
"Gar Gardevoir Gar" He said.
"Ther Scyther" Bocco responded. Ieago jumped back from the window, and faced Bocco. Ieago's eye was filled with surprise that even I could see.
"Devoir!?" Ieago shook his head rapidly.
"Scy!" Bocco retorted. She began pointing her blades, at me, then at the two of them. "Scyther Scy!"
"Gar" Ieago began to rub his head, and sighed. "Devoir" I picked up a tone of concession in his voice, but I didn't know why. Sadly, I was about to find out.
Ieago looked down at me. I waved. Ieago's eyes glowed blue.
"Uh, guys what's" Energy shot out of his eyes, and hit me in the forehead. I felt Ieago inside of me, probing my mind, doing...things. Not sure what things, but they scared me none the less.
Suddenly the beams stopped, and my head snapped back. "Ow! Why in the heck did you do that?" I asked, rubbing my sore forehead. "Don't know what you did, but I've got a head ache that feels like it's going to split my head open"
"We do not have time for you head ache Roddy" Ieago said. I froze in mid-rub, slowly looking up at the two of them. "I have the ability to detect human life over five hundred miles away, Roddy. In over five hundred miles in every direction, you're the only human alive"
