Disclaimer: I promise you I don't own anything, I'm just playing my part.

Warning: some spoilers and one swear word. Also if you wish to see slash then that's up to you, I don't mind one little bit.

Set towards the end of Age of Steel; probably when Mickey and Jake have gone to find the Doctor's suit.


He's dead…I have to keep repeating it to myself to make it seem real. He's dead. Ricky is dead, he's never coming back…you're alone now.

Alone…that's how I always used to be. Just another teenage runaway that no-one cared about, that no-one bothered to even notice had gone. No-one cared about me…until Ricky. He saved my life and gave me a purpose, we formed the preachers and began to fight back against the Cybus Corporation and those stupid EarPods…but he's gone now. He's gone and so is Mrs. Moore, they're both dead, killed by those Cybermen.

"Skin of metal and a body that will never age"...Murderers.

It's not fair. Why should they be dead when I'm left here still alive? It's not right. I'm not great with technology or anything like that like Mrs. Moore; I can't just get through any situation with bravado and bullshit like Ricky, hell I'm not even like Mickey.

I was wrong about him. He's not nothing, I am. I'm nothing, just a soldier; I take orders from whoever is issuing them and point a gun at the enemy hoping that it'll work. I do what I'm told and just get on with things. Living this life has been slowly chipping away my compassion, leaving in its place a cynicism and a will to just survive…whatever the cost. I would have easily killed those two guards if Mickey hadn't made me stop and think about it. "If you kill them what's the difference between you and a Cyberman?" He was right.

Fighting alongside Ricky I've let him tell me what to do and allowed my heart to become cold. I'm just a soldier, a shell wielding a gun…but Ricky's gone now….Fighting alongside Mickey was so different, seeing how much he cared about Rose and the Doctor, showing compassion but still getting the objective achieved….we saved so many people today…I can't help wondering whether we would have if it had been Mickey that was killed instead of Ricky…somehow I don't think we would've.

Ricky was my best friend, my only friend, but I had always known that the friendship wouldn't last for very long. It was just something, a strange feeling, but I knew that I would end up alone again. Nothing ever lasts, not for me it doesn't. I'm alone again. The fight is over here, I'm just a soldier without a purpose, a kid without a home, and the family I had built up around myself is gone…dead…

Mickey and his friends will be leaving soon, and then where will I be?

Alone.

Just alone…


My first Jake fic. I really liked that character and if it would please the court I've got one or two more ideas for fics using him or others thinking about him…so let me know…or not…whatever….reviews are never rejected….