Chapter 1: Talk About Unexpected!
The alarm (which still consists of someone bashing a plank of wood) sounded louder than ever throughout Soul Society. Everywhere you went, you could hear a Shinigami shouting "All captains and lieutenants are to report to Captain-Commander Yamamoto at once!" Shinigami everywhere were confused. Some were even scared. The alarm suddenly sounded with no warning. Lieutenants never accompanied their captains to see Yamamoto before. What could possibly have happened?
Captain-Commander Yamamoto stood in the meeting hall, looking more serious than ever. Next to him was his lieutenant, Chojiro Sasakibe. Like the other captains and lieutenants, he had no idea what was happening. Whenever he questioned his captain about it, all Yamamoto would say was "Wait until the other captains and lieutenants arrive, and then I'll explain everything." And so, he did wait.
A few minutes later, the other nine captains had lined up in the meeting hall, with their lieutenants standing beside them. As Captain Aizen, Captain Ichimaru, and Captain Tosen had rebelled, Izuru, Momo, and Hisagi just stood where their captains would have been. And since Captain Joshiro didn't actually have a lieutenant, he had to bring Kiyone and Sentaro with him. Something inside him was telling him that their presence in the Captains' meeting hall was NOT going to go well at all.
"Captain," Yamamoto said, his voice slightly louder than normal, "And lieutenants. I have gathered you here due to some information that was recently reported to me by one of the Shinigami from the Human world."
Byakuya's eyes widened slightly. "Is it the Arrancar? Is Aizen attacking?"
Yamamoto looked to the captain. "No. Aizen is yet to make any sort of attack."
"Then what is it?"
Yamamoto's eyes turned to he could see all of the captains at once. "The Human world is preparing for a very special occasion. Although I have heard of it many times as a Shinigami, I always assumed it to be a rumour. But now I know that is it real, and we must prepare at once!"
"What is this occasion?" Komamura asked.
Yamamoto closed his eyes for a few seconds. All of the captains and lieutenants became nervous. They had no idea of what to expect.
Then Mayuri Kurotsuchi remembered the date. He then spoke out. "Oh, please don't say it's..."
Yamamoto's eyes opened. "Christmas!"
Everyone started at Yamamoto, jaws hanging open. No-one was sure of what to say. There were only two people who didn't seem bothered by Yamamoto's announcement: Yamamoto himself, and Yachiru, who was too busy climbing up the wall without anyone noticing. By the time Toshiro managed to respond to Yamamoto's announcement, she was already on the ceiling.
"ARE YOU F**KING KIDDING?"
Yamamoto stared at Toshiro, slight confusion on his face. "Is there a problem, Captain Hitsugaya?"
"Captain-Commander Yamamoto, as much as I respect your authority, I honestly think you've completely ad utterly lost it!"
"Why?"
"Christmas has been going on for over a thousand years, and you only just acknowledge it?"
"Yes?"
"I've known about it since BEFORE I became a Shinigami!"
"You don't even know what I'm going to suggest."
"Are you going to suggest that we decorate the entire of Soul Society with red and green tinsel, get one of us to dress up as Santa Claus, and somehow make it snow, when we could be doing something like, oh, I don't know, killing Hollows or fighting Aizen?"
"Actually, no."
Toshiro blinked. "Really?"
"Just decorate the Seireitei. Leave out the Rukongai."
"Captain, this is complete and utter madness!"
"Failure to comply with my instructions will be treated as a crime against Soul Society and will be punishable by execution."
"How? The Sokyoku was destroyed."
"Executions will be carried out using my Bankai."
A fake smile appeared on Toshiro's face. "Righty-ho, then! What will you have us do?"
"Each of your divisions will carry out a certain task." Yamamoto turned to Retsu Unohana. "Captain Unohana, I want your division to make costumes of elves and reindeer for all of the Shinigami."
Unohana wasn't sure of how to reply to this strange demand, so she simply nodded, not wanting to face the unknown wrath of Yamamoto's Bankai.
"Captain Hitsugaya, I want your division to cover the entire Soul Society in thick snow."
"Captain, how am I supposed to do that."
"Use your Zanpakuto."
"My Zanpakuto controls ice, not snow."
"Hitsugaya, if you won't comply..." Yamamoto patted the hilt of his Zanpakuto.
"...But I'm sure there's at least one Shinigami in my division with a snow-themed Zanpakuto!" Toshiro smiled nervously. "There's bound to be!"
Yamamoto nodded and turned to Mayuri. "Captain Kurotsuchi, I want your division to create a sleigh capable of flying while carrying heavy amounts of cargo."
Mayuri nodded, and said under his breath, "Toshiro's right, this is utter madness."
"The rest of you, decorate the Seritetei with Christmas decorations. Also," From behind him, he lifted up a Santa costume. "Fine some way to decide which Captain should wear this."
Everyone pointed to Yamamoto.
"No."
"You've got the beard." Shunsui said.
"Yes, but I'm fr too important to appear involved in such a silly and embarrassing scheme!"
Joshiro's jaw dropped again. "But this whole thing was your idea!"
"Yes, but no-one else outside this room knows this." His hand went to his Zanpakuto. "And they never will. Understood?"
Everyone nodded and walked out, unsure of what exactly to do.
Mayuri had no idea of how to make a flying sleigh.
Toshiro knew all of the Zanpakuto powers in his division, and he was pretty sure none of them used snow.
Retsu's division's top skill was healing, not sewing clothes.
And none of the captains wanted to wear a bright red coat and a fake beard!
Actually, deep down, Byakuya wanted to, but he was far to respected to let his reputation be ruined by a simple desire to look ridiculous.
