A/N: I just briefly found it so funny the idea of flat out fucking sprinting around a corner shouting 'we have to go'. For whatever reason. Here's that, but with a Hogwarts twist.
If Hermione is running...
(one-shot)
"We have to go, we have to go, we have to go, go, go, gogogogogo-"
When Ron comes around a corner at speed shouting that you need to move, you might move. It's probably serious, but then again it could be a spider. But when Hermione comes around the corner, hair flying, arms pumping, hands reaching out to grab your robes as she sprints past you at full speed... well, you go, go, go, gogogogogo.
You let yourself be caught by her flailing hand, immediately lunge forward to match her pace, seeing Ron jump up from his perch on the window ledge at the other side of the corridor and do the same, face shocked and eyes wide.
Neither of you look back, struggling to keep up with her breakneck, lung exploding, record breaking pace as she practically parkours off of the walls as she rounds corners. Nor does she let up the wheezy stream of 'we need to go' and 'oh my god' and, if you're not hearing things, the occasional 'Jesus fucking Christ'.
Your mind can barely process what's happening, the absurdity of Hermione needing to flat out leg it away from something at 2pm on a sunny Wednesday afternoon in the Transfiguration corridor, drawing up a white-noise-like blank. She's fucking fast though, you have the presence of mind to note that as you swing around another corner that will lead you, panting and half-leaping, down three low stairs and to the open door outside.
The sun blinds you momentarily as you find yourself bowling across the grounds, the grass and other students a blur in your periphery. But Hermione is still sprinting just ahead of you, she certainly hasn't slowed down, so you can't afford to let a little sunlight slow you down, Christ no.
"Her-mio-ne!" You hear Ron pant out between sharp gasps of air. She doesn't though. Or she does but what she's running away from (or towards?) is more important than answering Ron.
The thought that you might end up running all the way to Hogsmeade flashes across your mind a second before the bushy haired bait rabbit herself stops short and you have to do a rather spectacular if painful dive to avoid crashing right into her. You can't see if Ron is having the same problem as you untangle your limbs from each other to jump back to your feet, ready to defend yourself against whatever it is you just cleared a 5K in 5 minutes for.
You nearly fall over again as your wand gets stuck in your sleeve and you unbalance yourself trying to yank it out, your eyes wide as you try and follow Hermione's gaze to the danger. But to your surprise, the cleverest witch of her age is gazing at the floor as she wheezes her lungs out, hands on her knees and half bent-over.
Ron is on the grass where he presumably landed, his survival skills pitiful compared to yours as he seems to have foregone standing up to fight their pursuer in favour of having a small coma.
"What...what...?" You sound strangled as you gesture up, down, around and in a little twisty circular motion in Hermione's face. She finally looks up at you, face the colour of a red velvet cake before you ice it and eyes as wide as bambi's just before his mother became venison.
"I...she...I..." Hermione is having much the same problem as you, it seems, in forming words after an impromptu mini-marathon. "I... wshhha... pff... naked... oops..." Okay, she's abandoned her attempt at words, now she's adopted a mix of sound effects and flailing charades to explain.
She... she made an annoyed face at someone, stabbed them with her wand then they got pregnant? Okay, no, that doesn't seem likely... She seduced someone, slapped them and then they exploded? Also unlikely - Christ you're bad at charades.
Ultimately, she gives up trying to explain and has a small sit down next to Ron and you decide that the immediate threat is far enough away that you, too, can have a little sit. Or a nap. God, you're unfit.
Still, it would have been nice to find out why you'd just covered the length of Hogwarts as if the very fires of hell were at your feet. But Hermione seems too knackered to explain, Ron is literally asleep and you're honestly too fucked to try and find out right now. Anyway, Hermione is trustworthy and sensible - if she says run (or just sprints around a corner swearing), you don't wait around to ask why - you run.
(It turns out Hermione had encountered a couple of dickhead Slytherins ((Pansy 'Pug Life' Parkinson included)) en route back from the loo and they'd had a small to-do as it were. And by that, Harry found out in bits and pieces over the course of the limp back to the castle the back way, she meant that in response to juvenile taunts and little pushes, Hermione had just gone off the fucking edge and had ((screaming the entire time)) hexed each of them a) bald, b) temporarily pot-bellied, d) 5'0 tall and c) 50 years old. Yeah. They had been running away from five incredibly angry Danny Devitos.)
(When you see Hermione running, you fucking run too.)
