Buttocks


AN: Alastor Moody's reluctance to tell Tonks exactly who it was that lost his or her buttocks got me thinking… and look at all his scars, just on his face. This was the result of a slightly twisted mind at work. No flames please, but constructive criticism welcome. I know Moody's a bit OOC.

Disclaimer: Disclaimed.


I looked at my mentor. Frederick Potter looked back at me.

"Look, Alastor, I know this is your first assignment, but – well, we need you. I'm sorry that we have to plunge you into this, but you know the house, and that's important. I'm truly sorry, but – well."

I nodded. I knew I wasn't ready, but I probably never would be, and I had to start somewhere. "I understand."

Frederick glanced at me. "Are you ready?"

I knew I wasn't, but I said, "Yes," with all the certainty I could muster.

Frederick glanced at me again, then Apparated away. I followed.


The house was a mess. Mum and Dad… were lying in the front room. At least, I assumed it was them.

My mentor inspected them. I stood well back. If it had been someone else I would have been fine, but since it was them, I was glad I wasn't directly involved.

"It's them, I'm afraid," Frederick nodded. "Crucio and… I think it's a variation on the Severing Charm."

I nodded, not really listening. Those… remains… enthralled me. It was horrible, in a fascinating way. I absent-mindedly stuck my wand in the back pocket of my trousers (they were much more practical than robes) as the two of us started to search the house for evidence of the attackers' identities. Not that we needed any – it was hovering above the house.


I was very jumpy as I looked through each of the familiar rooms. Mum and Dad had changed my room into the guest room… what was that? No, just a bird.

No, shadows.

They'd redecorated the bathroom- was that –? I reached for my wand and turned to see what that movement had been. Sparks shot out of it, and… well.

Frederick came running at my yelp of pain, saw my smoking trousers and panicked. "What? Where is it?"

"Calm down!" I exclaimed. "I jumped at my reflection… and… er…"

"Exploded yourself," finished Frederick.

"… yes…"

"Well, we'll have it seen to when we get back, but you'd better finish checking the house over first. Stop being so jumpy – the attackers probably won't be back."

Probably. That really boosted my confidence.


Ironic, really, that I got my first scar in my childhood home, where there was no danger whatsoever, any more, and that it was my own anxiety that caused it.

Yes. Well…