Chapter One- The Rider

Pennants waved in the breeze as Keladry of Mindelan rode into the palace stables- a quiet homecoming. At her side her best friend Nealan of Queenscove was already vaulting from the saddle. He flashed her a wide grin as he ran for the stairs…

"Brush her down for me Kel, please? You know I'm desperate."

Kel laughed- Neal was itching to see his sweetheart and betrothed -Yukimi noh Daiomoru, and she wasn't about to play the killjoy. It had been a long time.

"You're a very, very sad man Neal…but for you, anything."

He blew her a kiss and ran out of sight.

Kel daydreamed as she brushed down Hoshi, dust motes floating in the sun. Dom was here. She shivered. Domitan of Masbolle was the sergeant of the Third Company of the King's Own and had the current hold on Kel's secret affections; though he was so handsome, Kel often thought he knew it. Half of Tortall had probably fallen prey to his charms at some point or other…but she couldn't help it, could she? She resolved to go see him as soon as she had finished Neal's mount.

Kel stopped to wash her face in the horse trough, cackling at her dirty reflection. She thought briefly about changing into something more feminine, but decided that Dom had seen her looking worse. Firstly, she trotted up the steps to the mess, looking around, but he wasn't there, so he scooped up some water, and wandered aimlessly until she found herself in the orchard. There he is. She recognised Dom's attractive profile laughing in the sun.

"Dom!"

She strode over, noticing his companions far too late. Three ridiculously pretty faces smiled politely at her.

Women…with Dom…I should have guessed.

"Hello Kel! How was the ride?"

He looked genuinely pleased to see her, so cursing inwardly she forced herself to sit down. Tucking her long legs into a crossed position she sipped her water, and answered all the idiotic questions the women threw at her, before making her excuses and leaving.

Stupid. Stupid. How could anybody think of me as a girl next to those beauties?

"She has very big muscles, doesn't she?" a kindly female voice whispered after her.

Kel's ears burned.

"Yes…I suppose she does…" Dom's voice.

Earth, swallow me up.

Ducking out of sight, she pressed her back to the cool wall of the practice yard and sat, breathing deeply.

How humiliating.

A shadow fell across her suddenly and Neal's from flopped down next to her. Kel glanced at his face; it wasn't happy.

"You're subdued…everything alright?"

She glanced at him again, concerned, Dom slipping from her mind. He looked deep in thought. After a time he spoke.

"It's Yuki."

"What about her?"

"You know. Things. They aren't right… she wasn't as pleased to see me as I'd anticipated, I guess…

"Uh-huh"

"…and she seemed- different with me, you know?"

"I do know."

He pulled Yuki's shukusen from his belt, and spread it, turning it this way and that in the light. When he spoke again his voice was quiet and sober.

"When I left the chamber, like everyone, I suppose, I was thinking a lot about death and dying…I felt like I needed something to ground me and keep me in this world…and Yuki- she's so grounded… she balances my drama perfectly,"

Kel smiled, she knew about that.

"The only other person who earths me like that is you, mainly 'cos you're so bloody stubborn"

"Thanks"

"'Most welcome."

He spun the fan.

"I know this kind of thing sometimes happens to relationships, but I thought it really was different this time...She's not the same Yuki I left, anyway."

Disappointment tinged his words. Privately, Kel thought it could take years to know a person properly; and Neal and Yuki were already betrothed after just one…

What kind of happiness could they expect? she wondered.

"And all she wants to do is talk about the wedding"

Kel watched is dark eyebrows fan out across his cheeks as he closed his eyes resignedly. She ruffled his hair with sympathy.

"It sounds dreadful. Try again though. You know what women are like."

He looked up at her seriously, watching her face for a moment.

"I know what you're like."

"Yeah well, I'm not your average woman…Now be gone! Go bath or something, you'll feel better."

She shooed him away. Looking down, she saw something shimmering in his wake…the shukusen. She tucked it into her belt, thinking about what Neal had said.

"Kel," Lord Raoul of Goldenlake saw the slender figure of his ex-squire trailing the shukusen around the courtyard. She looked up.

"Hello sir."

He came jogging down the stone steps.

"I need a lift."

She eyed his huge frame…

"I'm strong sir, but I don't think-"

"Not me. King Jon's been scrying. He's seen eight Riders crossing the East Bridge, five injured, one badly. I'm guessing there's been some kind of ruckus, but we won't find out unless we volunteer our lifting services. You know what Baird's like…Come on"

Kel knew Neal's father was a stickler for not letting his patients be troubled, but as they ran into the infirmary, Baird was nowhere to be seen. Instead she was faced with Neal hovering over three Riders, face as white as his rolled up shirt-sleeves. Green magick poured from his fingertips into the prone bodies. The door burst open again, and in staggered a man-at-arms, barely supporting a senseless Rider, a man in his thirties. Kel helped lower the man in front of Neal noting his blanched face and vacant, staring expression. His blood smeared against Neal's shirt. Without missing a beat he began to pour healing magick into the body of the Rider.

Pity and helplessness overcame Kel as she watched her friend turn white. Raoul was in the corner of the Infirmary, quizzing a more lucid Rider about the ambush. Baird? Where are you?

She sighed with relief as the slight figure of Neal's father entered the Infirmary, and she began to pour Neal a cup of restorative tea from the kettle at hearth. Baird looked up from the Rider, beyond hope now, to see the Lady Knight plying his shivering son with tea, and wondered.

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Kel helped another man at arms carry the Rider's corpse to the mortuary, where she stood in the cold, looking at him. He had been handsome once. She shuddered, imagining him as someone she cared for… She was leaving as the doors opened again and a small woman came in. Kel recognised her as one of the injured Riders. The woman's face was devoid of any emotion as she stared at the man.

"He's gone then." Not a question. Kel nodded mutely.

"We'd ridden together for twelve years, you know, since we were… silly teenagers."

She still didn't look at Kel.

"He only told me that he loved me last year. I'd waited forever for him to say it…One year."

She touched the dead man's cheek.

"One year is all we've had."

Kel started to go. She wasn't sure if the woman really knew she was there, and the scene was uncomfortable. Suddenly the woman looked at her, blue eyes boring into her own.

"If you ever get the chance to go for it…Love, I mean; don't hold back. You'll regret it so much."

Kel nodded and hurried from the room. Pushing the woman's words aside she focused on Neal, whom she hauled to her feet and marched from the Infirmary.

"Wha' we doin'?" He was groggy.

"Going to Yuki, because you've been daft. You'll have to sleep there"

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Yuki answered her door with surprise.

"Kel! What happened?"

Kel explained as she handed the shukusen to Neal who was conscious, but very quiet. She knew how much the healing had taken out of him.

"So he'll be staying here then?" she finished.

Yuki wrinkled her nose in distaste.

"I can't Kel, really…I've just had my chambers cleaned, and anyway, you're so much better than me at this kind of thing. She bowed apologetically. Whatever Kel had expected, it was not this. She felt a flush of annoyance.

"Alright…Well; I'll see you later"

As they turned to leave Neal pressed the shukusen into Yuki's palm, who after a tiny pause accepted it.

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In her room a wave of tiredness overtook Kel, and she realized she still hadn't bathed since their return. Still, there was Neal to sort out. She pulled the soiled shirt over his head, looked at it with disgust and went to drop it down the latrine. He was still there when she entered, standing with a dazed expression on his face. She hesitated before taking off his filthy breeches and doing the same. After all he was her best friend and she'd seen most of it before. She left a pair of her loosest breeches on the bed with him, along with a bucket of water and a cloth. Then she went to wash in the lukewarm water a maid had left for her. She poured it over her head as she stood, washing away the road's dust and dirt. A noise on her left made her start.

"Kel?"

Neal had awoken from his daze, and was standing in the doorway. His eyes stayed fixed on her form, mesmerized for a long moment, before looking away.

"I'm sorry…I didn't know where I was and…did that man…did he die?"

She tried a nod, her voice hoarse.

"Yes."

Neal wheeled around and went back into the room; Kel threw a bath-sheet around herself and strode after him. He was sitting, head in hands, on the bed. His hands knotted in his hair furiously before he turned a helpless face to Kel.

"I tried Kel…oh bugger Kel…I tried."

"I know you did."

She told him about the Rider and Yuki and he lay down heavily, tears brimming. She couldn't watch; she went around the bed and lay down next to him, stroking his dark hair: her mind was empty of anything to say.

Neal turned to face her, eyes closed in exhausted misery.

Gods, she thought- he looks wiped out.

Kel hugged him hard, and after a few moments he put his arm around her and they slept that way the whole night.