Death, carnage, more sorrow, more loss. That seemed to sum up Eren's life right about now. Just when he thought, when he even felt like he had gained something back, it was snatched away from him. Precious moments were fleeting. Dear friends were rare.
Another defeat resulted in pointless death. Eren's fate would be decided in a few hours because they had all failed to bring in the Female Titan. As if that wasn't enough cause for despair, they came back with less scouts then what they had left with.
Alone in the dark of the cellar with the torches chasing away the shadows, Eren sunk down to the ground, burying his head in his arms as he tried to hold back the painful tears. He could have saved them, he could have saved his team. He just hadn't been strong enough. He could not even avenge them, to bring their murderer to justice.
Years had been stolen from so many with the loss of life. With the death of one, many lives were destroyed.
Petra, Gunther, Oluo, Eld; all of them were gone in such violent ways. One more person who would never smile, one more family who could not be comforted. Another void left in his heart.
Eren let out a choked sob as their faces flashed through his mind. Petra's warm smile, Eld's knowing smirk, Gunther's mischievousness, Oluo's almost overbearing but well meaning manner. All the traits that made them who they were and what made the special.
It was what he would miss the most from them.
Eren had known how much they wanted to trust him when they were willing to experience the same pain he went through every time he tried to transform. They worked together as a team, and they were willing to die as a team.
They were willing to protect him as a team.
The tears flowed freely at that thought, and he curled up into a tighter ball in an effort to comfort himself. It was because they were following orders that they died: orders to protect him. He had halted his transformation because he had overestimated his teams strength, and it had cost them their lives. It was because of him that they were dead.
The sound of the cellar door opening caused him to look up frantically. He retreated into the dark, pushing himself up against the wall to try and stay hidden. He could hear the footsteps of someone approaching the bottom of the steps, along with the glow of the fire light in the lantern. He wiped at his face frantically in an effort to rid himself of the tears. Maybe whoever was down here might not even be looking for him, he reasoned. Why would anyone even be looking for him?
"Yeager," a sudden, familiar voice said.
Eren scrambled up quickly in an effort to look presentable. He sniffed, holding his head up high. "Captain," he said quickly, his voice hoarse.
Of course Levi Ackerman would be the one to find him in such a state. Eren did not want to look and see the disappointment, possibly anger, in Levi's eyes. After all, Levi had known Eld, Gunther, Oluo and Petra longer then Eren had. Yet those four had somehow earned a special place in Eren's heart. If they had grown on Eren that fast, how had they grown on Levi? What kind of impact did they have on Levi?
"What are you doing down here?" Levi demanded, setting the lantern down curtly. He really did not need the lantern, as there were many torches lining the walls. Yet the lights seemed to illuminate the captain's face, giving him a hollow, dark look. It was unintentional, but it made him look intimidating, almost inhuman as he focused his gaze on Eren. Together, both Humanity's Strongest and Humanity's Hope stood in silence.
Eren swallowed, trying to keep it together. Please, he begged himself silently, don't break down in front of the captain.
He let out a deep breath. "Nothing sir," he said finally.
Gunther's lifeless body hanging from the trees, his blood dripping to the ground as his once vibrant eyes stared at nothing.
Eren blinked, feeling his eyes mist over.
The darkness prevented Eren from seeing Levi's face clearly, but he could just make out the disbelief in the captain's eyes. "Nothing?" Levi echoed.
Eld flying towards the Titan, only for his body to fall to the ground, broken in two.
Eren clenched his fists trembling fists together. "Stop it," he begged silently.
Petra's helpless body slamming into the tree, her small form crushed beneath the Titan's foot.
"Stop it, please," he whispered, trembling.
"I didn't say anything," he heard Levi say. Eren squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the horrid images.
Oluo's fierce, enraged cry filling the forest, only to be cut off as his spin was snapped with the Titan's swift kick.
Eren finally looked up with hopelessness, staring at his captain pleadingly. Levi stared back at him with wide eyes, and it was all Eren could do to try and hold back his tears. "C-captain," he choked out. However, he still felt the tears trail down his cheeks, and he was ashamed to admit to his weakness. He could just imagine what Levi was seeing right now. A trembling, weepy child with red rimmed eyes who was falling apart in a dark cellar.
Levi blinked, for the first time, looking as helpless as Eren felt. "Why are you...are you crying?"
Eren shook his head, pressing his back into the wall in an effort to hide himself. "No sir," he sniffled.
Bright eyes, a warm smile.
A joke, a tease directed at him.
Laughter, comradeship.
Their blood, splattered all over the violent earth.
Eren whimpered as his knees became weak and he nearly fell to the ground, his heart tearing up, but someone caught his shoulders. He looked up to see Levi steadying him. "Hey, enough of that," Levi said, his voice unusually soft.
"They're gone," Eren whispered, tears falling freely. They had failed, and many had died because of their failure. Many people he cared for were dead and were not coming back.
Levi stared at him wordlessly, knowing what Eren meant. "Yes, they are."
At that, more of Eren's tears fell.
"Come here," Levi said, pulling him into an embrace, and Eren wept into his shoulder, body shaking as sobs tore through him.
Petra, who became like a second mother to him.
Eld, who was carefree yet serious.
Oluo, a stuck up who made them all laugh because of his failed attempts to act like a leader.
Gunther, the youngest out of the bunch and who had so much to live for.
All gone in with such a violent end.
As Eren cried, the tears of a distraught and mourning captain fell on Eren's shoulders as Levi confronted his own grief. Eren clung to Levi, the two survivors of the Special Operations Squad both standing alone in the dark, supporting each other in their moment of sorrow. Alone, the dark will tear them apart. But standing together, they had a chance to resurface from their heartache.
