Erza blinked. Then she blinked again.
"What is this, Gray?"
The boy, surprisingly fully clothed, frowned and shuffled his feet. He was uncomfortable for some reason but Erza couldn't quite place it. Maybe it was because he was actually wearing something?
She would never understand boys.
"It's, uh, it's for you," he said and shoved the tiny box closer to her face. "It's a present. A gift."
She had noticed a change come over him ever since he'd found her by the riverside. The constant challenging she could understand. It was a futile attempt on his part to salvage his fragile ego. But after the riverbank... well, she couldn't get a handle on him anymore. He became flustered when they met, tried making conversation and overall didn't leave her alone much. It was kind of confusing but Erza didn't mind. If he spent more time with her, the more chances she got a figuring out what had happened to him.
But things like this she just didn't know how to handle.
"A... present?" she asked, inclining her head slightly. "What for? And why did you have to ask me to come here for this? Couldn't you have given it to me in the guild hall?"
It was a valid question. It wasn't like the riverbank was special in any way.
She didn't know why, but Gray got even more flustered. His face went very red and Erza was slightly alarmed at this.
"Bah! Why'd I dig my own grave like that? It ain't fun, y'know," he said and turned away, still holding out the cardboard box. "So just take it, okay? Stop asking so many questions, jeez."
Erza sighed. She didn't want to have to do it, but the way he was behaving could be ignored no longer.
"Gray, are you sick?" She touched his forehead, found it to be warm and nodded solemnly. "You have a temperature. Were you walking around naked again?"
"Wha-"
"How many times have I told you that you should at least dress appropriately when in public? You walk around naked and you'll catch a cold. It's common sense."
"You – I – ugh!" Gray threw the box at her and she caught it. "I give up! I'm outta here."
Then he just turned and sprinted up the slope towards the guild. Erza blinked away the confusion and sighed when he ran out of her line of sight.
"Boys," she muttered as she opened the small rectangular box. Then she stared at the contents for a while before smiling slightly to herself. "Idiot."
Inside lay a brand new eye-patch.
Gray was nervous was all hell. As a general rule, Erza didn't talk to anybody. Well, except him, but that was because he annoyed her so much. So when she approached him and asked him to follow her, he had been so taken aback that it had taken a nudge from Cana to realise that his mouth was hanging open.
He'd felt all the eyes of the guild members on his back as he'd followed Erza out. He knew they'd start their dumbass rumours again. It wasn't like he liked her or anything! How could anybody even like a monster such as Erza? She was way too weird for anything as gross as being... liked. Even the thought made him shudder.
The various ways in which she could hurt him – had hurt him! – would reverberate in his head all through his life. He just knew it!
"Whaddaya want?" he asked when she stopped under a tree behind the guild building, trying to feign impatience in order to mask his nervousness. He crossed his arms over his chest in an effort to appear even more nonchalant. "I ain't got all day to be followin' you around, y'know."
He lifted his chin as he said it and regretted it immediately. What if she took it as a challenge and beat him to death with his own arm? No. You're the Great Gray! You got this!
Hopefully.
Thankfully Erza didn't stomp a mudhole in his ass. Instead, she turned and offered him a smile.
"I wish to give you a gift, Gray."
Ring the tower bells! Enemy sighted! Every man for himself!
Gray gulped. "What? Why?"
"Consider it a return present." She placed her hands on her hips, never a good sign. "Can you guess what it is?"
Only then did Gray notice that she was wearing the eye-patch he'd made for her. With Cana's help, but he'd made most of it. More than half, at any rate.
It made him happy, that. He'd spoiled one of her eye-patches not too long ago, and Cana said it'd be a show of good faith. He hadn't been expecting a return present. Didn't take Erza to be that kind of person.
So he relaxed and locked his fingers behind his head. "Well, what is it?"
After all, how bad could a present be?
Erza leant forward. "I'm going to give you personal training sessions. That way, you'll improve much faster." She nodded as if this was a good idea. "You'll make S-class in no time."
Gray, despite all his training, felt a cold shiver run up his spine.
"Congratulations. I told you you'd make it, didn't I?"
Erza turned to find Gray grinning at her and smiled. The party was awkward for her and she was grateful to see a friend. "I'm glad I could live up to your expectations, Gray."
"Live up? Hah! You flattened them!" He handed her a tankard of ale and perched on the edge of her table. "Just like you flattened the exams." Gray grinned and held up his own tankard. "A toast! To Erza Scarlet, the youngest S-class mage in the history of Fairy Tail!"
Chuckling, Erza touched her tankard with his. "I don't think it's that big a deal, but all right." She took a sip. "What about you? How're your injuries?"
"Ehh." Gray made a so-so motion with his hand. "I'll live. Nothing too fucked up."
"Gray, language."
"Right. Nothing too messed up."
Erza sighed. "You're way too reckless."
Gray sniggered. "Hello, pot. Meet kettle."
"Are you calling me reckless?"
"Can you deny it?"
"I take calculated risks."
"Of course."
She narrowed her eyes. "Are you bent on insulting me, Gray Fullbuster?"
To her satisfaction, he gulped and slid off her table though he didn't stop talking.
"Insult an S-class mage? Perish the thought! Why, you'd hand me my ass on a plate and that's no fun, man."
"Gray, language!"
"Yeah, yeah. But hey, listen." He grinned and she blinked. "Because you won, I got you a little something." She opened her mouth to protest. "You're fifteen. It's a big deal, get used to it." She closed her mouth. "It's a small present."
Erza sighed. Boys. "I told you that I didn't want anything if I won."
"I know that," he said as he reached into his pockets. "But I couldn't help myself." He pulled out a small rectangular box which fit inside his palm perfectly. "Don't worry, it didn't cost too much."
"Gray..."
"Hey. It's nothing. I took a lot of jobs before the S-class trials so I'm rich for now." He smiled. "Take it."
He was making that happy puppy-dog face of his. How could she refuse a puppy and hurt its feelings?! She hated him for drawing on her weakness, but how bad could it be?
"Fine." She held out her hand and Gray placed the box in her palm. It was very light. Erza looked up at him. "Shall I open it now?"
Gray shrugged. "Sure. If you want."
So she did. Erza put down her tankard and flipped open the latch and pushed open the lid.
A pair of diamond-shaped earrings greeted her, shining like polished metal.
"Made of some sorta rust-proof nigh indestructible metal. Should be hardy enough for someone as reckless as you. Hopefully, you'll wear them a long time." She looked up to find him grinning. "Congratulations, Erza."
She didn't know how to communicate the feeling of warmth that formed in her chest. There weren't enough words. Even if there were, she didn't know them.
So Erza just smiled. "Thank you, Gray."
Gray heard the click-clack of boots on the floor and was instantly alert. When the steps stopped outside his door, he cursed under his breath and lay down flat on the bed and pretended to sleep.
The doors slid open. A pause. Then they slid closed.
Five steps from the door to the bed. Gray tried his best to look as asleep as he possibly could.
Then he heard a sigh. "Three broken ribs, a shattered collarbone, a torn pectoral muscle, a punctured lung and internal bleeding. Why, Gray? Why are you like this? When will you learn caution?"
He could imagine her shaking her head with her hands on her hips. He did not need a lecture at that moment. Not while he was still recovering.
Erza, however, went on: "You get more and more reckless the older you get. I wish you'd not take so many dangerous quests but you've always been bull-headed. You don't have anything to prove."
I wanna make S-class too, y'know. I don't wanna be the one left behind.
Another sigh. "I just wish you'd realise that the people who care about you get hurt every time you hurt yourself."
Gray set his jaw.
"Anyway, I got you a present." Another pause. "As a congratulatory gift upon making it into the S-class trials two years in a row. I'm certain you'll make it next year. Mystogan was just better this time around." He heard something metallic being placed on the wooden nightstand by his bed. "For luck. I hope you don't strip this off. Get well soon, Gray."
He waited until she was outside to open his eyes. Then he folded his hands behind his head and blew out a breath.
"Nothing to prove, huh?" Gray turned towards the door and then on the nightstand and found a circular tin the size of his fist.
Erza's present.
He picked it up and shook it. There was something rattling inside and that piqued his curiosity. Sitting up and leaning against the headboard, Gray pulled off the lid.
A chuckle escaped him and he winced in pain, but he didn't care. He pulled out the chain from the tin and looked at the cruciform sword which was attached to it.
For luck, she'd said. That brought back a distant memory and he smiled to himself.
"Here's to brilliant luck," he muttered as he put it on and lay back down. He wouldn't be losing this.
Not for the world.
"It's fluted metal. They make it differently in Iceberg than in Fiore," Gray was explaining as she went around, inspecting. "Leaner. More compact. Plus it looks different and I'm a bit biased."
Erza hummed. The suit of armour was indeed... different. Definitely a far cry from what she was used to seeing. It was plate armour but there were subtle differences. The pauldrons were symmetrical... and all the fluting. She had to admit that it was all aesthetically very pleasing. It was a work of art. The more she saw it the more she liked it.
"And you say you got this as a reward?"
Gray shrugged. "The quest giver turned out to be a smith, so he offered to make one."
"It's beautiful," Erza said at length. Her own suit of armour was all banged up in comparison. She would need a new one soon. "Who was the quest from?"
"Heart Kreuz."
Erza whirled around to look at him. "Heart Kreuz?" A nod. "The famous fashion company?" Another nod, this time with an amused grin. "But they don't make armour."
"I'm just special like that," Gray said with a chuckle. "But seriously. You think it's good?"
Nodding, Erza crossed her arms over her chest. "It is splendid. Of that I have no doubt. It is a great acquisition." She smiled at him. "Just don't go around stripping in this. If you do, I shall murder you."
"Slim chance of that happening." Gray came and stood beside her, looking at the suit. "After all, you'll be the one wearing it."
For a short few moments, Erza was struck dumb. She was aware of her mouth hanging open as she looked between Gray and the armour, but was unable to do anything about it. Eventually, she managed to pull herself together enough to be able to speak.
"What?"
Gray shrugged. "It's a present for the strongest mage in Fairy Tail. Don't worry about fitting – it's enchanted to fit whoever wears it first."
"But–"
"Won't you accept it?" He winked at her. "Titania?"
Erza sighed.
"You have gotta be fuckin' shittin' me."
Erza shook her head. "I assure you, I have never been more serious about anything in my life."
Gray rubbed his cheek as the movers deposited box after box in his living room as Erza superintended the work.
"Is this really necessary?" he tried again, feebly.
Erza gave him a look that communicated very clearly that she'd brook no opposition in this venture.
"It is the only way to make sure you never run out of clothes," she told him.
"Yeah, but... isn't this too much?"
"S-class jobs pay well."
Sighing, Gray rubbed the back of his head. "You know I'll just lose them, right?"
"You haven't lost the locket. I have faith in you." She opened a box after paying the delivery people and pulled out a white coat. She looked it over and threw it to him.
"I'll just buy you more should you lose them, but try not to." She smiled. "I picked them all out personally."
Gray looked at the coat in his hands. "Seriously?"
"Mhmm. I think white suits you."
Gray sighed.
"Hey," Gray said quietly as he sat down beside her. Erza glanced at him.
"Hey."
"Are you still mad?"
"Not at all," Erza replied coolly. "You did what you thought was right and I admire you for that. It takes courage to stand up to your enemies. But it takes more courage, I think, to stand up to your friends."
In a way, she was proud of him. Galuna Island had been a mess, but Gray had proved to her once and for all that he wasn't some hapless young boy anymore. He'd proved to her that he was capable of standing on equal footing with Fairy Tail's strongest. To defy her... he was the first one to do so and while it had infuriated her at the time, now she felt relieved. As if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders somehow.
Gray had defied her and in doing so had established himself as someone who did not need her protection. She would always look out for him but it was reassuring to her to know that there existed people who would stop her should she ever err.
He, however, didn't seem wholly convinced. "So... we're good?"
Erza shrugged. "Yes. We are."
"Oh. All right."
"Mhmm."
Silence.
"Hey, Erza?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm sorry."
That surprised her into looking at him, but Gray's gaze was focused on the tabletop where he was tracing shapes with his fingers.
"For what?"
"I shoulda... brought Natsu and Lucy back. But I just... I dunno. I couldn't ignore it. Maybe if it was someplace else, I could've but... I don't know." He rubbed his face tiredly. "I put you in trouble. I'm sorry for that."
For as long as Erza had known Gray, he'd never opened up about his past. Even after the ordeal, she didn't know the full story. Enough to make assumptions, but that wasn't the truth. She knew that he wasn't the sort to open up – neither was she – but she hoped that he could carry whatever burden that was weighing him down.
He was her... friend. A very good one at that. She didn't want to see him sad.
"I'm sorry too," she said quietly and turned her gaze downwards. "I should have been more considerate and not too bound by rules. I'm sorry I treated you the way I did, Gray." She sighed. "I should not have done that. You were there doing the best you could and I almost ruined everything."
They sat in silence together for a while and Erza stewed and reflected, her thoughts focusing on the confrontation with Gray where she'd held him at swordpoint.
Cut me down if you must.
He'd rather give his life than budge. She'd always known he was that way. It was just how he was. She smiled.
I'm the same way.
She looked at him when he cleared his throat.
"Anyway, I got you something." He smiled. "As a gift. Kinda like a bribe, but ehh. Here it is."
Erza knew a box of Fantasia the moment she saw one. She forgave Gray of every wrongdoing in his life right then and there as she snatched the box out of his hand and opened it, tucking in without even saying thanks.
She knew that she didn't need to. He knew.
He knew her best.
"Are you crying?"
"...no."
"Erza..."
"Not anymore."
Gray didn't say anything. He just came and stood beside her and gazed out at the river.
The riverbank was their place, in a way. It wasn't often that they met there, but there was something special about that spot which appealed to them both. He knew he'd find her there and he hadn't been wrong.
Knowing what he did now, Gray didn't blame her for being upset. Not in the least. He would be, too, if he were in her place.
But he wasn't. And that just made him angry at... him.
"I couldn't save him." A small voice. A long pause. "I couldn't save them."
Gray said nothing. He didn't even look at her.
"They were my friends, and I had to watch them die. All my life, I've worked so hard to not feel helpless ever again but when I needed my strength the most... I was useless." A strangled sound. He didn't look. "I've never felt so fucking useless in my life."
He knew the feeling. He knew it with every fibre of his being.
"How do you... get over it? Because I can't see a way, Gray. I just can't."
It was at that moment that Gray felt a sharp stab of pain pierce his heart. The sheer hurt and hopelessness in her voice... or something. He didn't know exactly but whatever it was, he didn't want to hear her talk like that ever again.
"You don't," he said after a while. "You never do. You try to stuff it into a deep, dark corner of your heart so that nobody will ever be able to find it but you know that it's always there. You try to squash it, but it just seeps through the cracks and fills you again. You can't contain it. You hold onto the sword that's stabbing you and, in a way, you hug it tighter."
Gray clenched his fists inside his coat pockets. "And you take it with you year after year until one day you realise that the harder you hold onto it, the faster it slips out between your fingertips. Like sand." He sighed deeply. "And then you think you're useless for not realising it sooner. Then you hate yourself for being able to let go. And you just wanna die."
He felt her looking at him but still he couldn't look at her. He would break if he did. He just knew it.
"But you use that. You take that and you use that as fuel and you burn all the negativity and make yourself go forward." He paused. "There's no getting over it. No way. But you're strong enough to take it." Stronger than I'll ever be. "I have faith in you, Erza. You'll pull through. I know you will."
She didn't say anything. He didn't look at her. There was no need. Not every silence needed to be filled. Not every silence was uncomfortable. At least, not between them.
But then Gray felt something warm and soft and moist on his cheek. It lingered there for a moment and he forgot how to even breathe.
Then he heard her voice. A little shaky. A little sad. But not hopeless. Not down and out.
"Thank you, Gray."
Familiar words from a familiar voice. Gray nodded.
"You're welcome."
She walked away after that, hugging herself. Gray just stood there and watched the river, doused in pale moonlight.
He hadn't even glanced at her. How could he? Knowing what he knew now, knowing how he felt, he couldn't bring himself to look at her.
For many years they'd played a game. He didn't know what it was at first, but he figured it out later.
Presents. They gave each other presents. Important ones. Always trying to outdo each other.
It was a game he would play no more. He shook his head. No more.
For Erza had made love blossom in his chest. And Gray had no means to give her that in return.
