My parents always told me I was an accident.

They were always hoping that one day I'd give up and run away.

Or that I'd cut so deep I would bleed out.

The only reason I haven't was to show them.

To show them that I could fucking do this

Despite what they said

Despite the circumstances.

One day my mother up and died

She left us

She left me.

So there was only me, my dad, and my older brother.

I was still holding on.

My dad wanted me to toughen up.

And be a man.

Like, my older brother, Cronus.

Thing is, he isn't much of a man at all.

The only thing he is

Is fucking psycho

He would put out his cigarettes on me

On my skin

He would say

"Howv do you like it?"

"Howv does it feel to be hurt by someone you hold close?"

I never held him close.

He was constantly changing relationships

And convinced that whoever he was with

Loved him

They didn't

They were in it for either the money

Or protection

My father…

Was also insane

He would tell me to be a man.

To be strong

So he often beat me

"Don't cry."

"Don't you dare fucking cry."

He would say

As his breath stank like alcohol

I don't think I can take much more.

"You don't fucking belong here."

"You're so gay."

"Kill yourself, faggot."

The only one there for me was Sollux

But he couldn't take much either

He left me

HE LEFT ME

I can't take much more

I can't take it

I'm done