A/N: Well, uh, hello! This is my very first Style story... I haven't written a South Park fic in like... four years, so I have no idea how to write the characters anymore ahsghsgs
This was a dumb idea that was originally a comic of mine (which I first posted on Tumblr and then on deviantART) until I finally ended up writing an entire story centering on it.
I admit that I still haven't seen seasons 19-21 yet (if not for some spoilers and clips), so yeah... I might have missed a lot of things...
I apologize for any mistakes in the writing and I hope the characters aren't too terribly OOC here. :'v
Well, enjoy it regardless!
Suggestion: look up "Stand By Me" by Ben E. King and play it when the moment is right ;)
He honestly couldn't believe he was actually doing this. Part of him yelled at himself to screw that and go home, but there was that other damned part inside him - his stupid heart - that refused to listen. This time, it was stronger than his mind, which made it clear that... there was no going back.
The night had already arrived, the stars and the moon shining brightly way up in the sky. The mountains around the small town nearly disappeared into the blackness, were it not for the nearly blinding moonlight. Many houses were still lit in the unusually quiet neighborhood (unusually, considering it was freaking South Park), as it wasn't too late. Still, it was known that the students of South Park were all expected to go to bed early, for as it was a school night.
Though there was the one and only Kyle Broflovski, stepping on the cold snow and carrying his good old guitar (protected by that same guitar case) with him. The instrument no longer felt heavy or big in his arms since he last played. It had been left in the dust of his closet for years; Kyle had suddenly lost his interest and had even considered getting rid of it once. Little had he known how much he would need it later.
What brought Kyle to begin practising guitar - and even singing - after so long? What was the goddamn reason he was freezing outside in the first place? The answer to all that shit was, again, his heart. The redhead still cursed at the stupid organ (even though "heart" was commonly a metaphor and the heart itself was what gave him life) for developing these- these stupid feelings that couldn't be bottled up anymore. Kyle had denied them for as long as he could, until he realized it was eating him inside in an utterly scary way. He could no longer hide the fact that he was, indeed, in love with a boy - and not just any boy, it happened to be his Super Best Friend.
Kyle had always been fine dealing with love, but, this time, it was completely different. It was actually driving him nuts because it was about Stan Marsh, his best friend for all life, that same boy with the blue hat who he had met as a baby, and they both had been studying together for nearly two decades - and only THEN did Kyle come to realization that his heart actually beat for him. He hadn't expected to ever find himself head over heels for a boy- for his male best friend, having believed he only had eyes for girls. When it turned out to be the opposite, it hit him like a fucking bullet against his heart because, soon enough, the two of them would no longer see each other. School was slowly drifting them apart, they would eventually finish High School and maybe even leave South Park in order to apply to college, and that was freaking heartbreaking.
He hadn't been fine with it, at all. At first, he had been terribly lost, unsure of what the hell he should do at all. It was so serious that he had gotten to the point of seeking advice from other people - without telling anyone it was Stan, of course. He was the last person to ever need romantic advice from anyone, but given the gravity of the situation, the inner fear Kyle had, he had no choice. However, there weren't really people out there with solid advice - not even Tweek and Craig's own relationship helped him feel better, considering how... different their love story had started. Goodness, it was such a lost cause that Kyle had even asked help to Wendy Testaburger.
Yeah, he really was crazy. Seeking advice from his best friend's ex-girlfriend was definitely something one would never do in a situation like this. On the other hand, Wendy was the only girl Kyle considered a friend, even though it had mostly been for Stan's sake in the beginning. She did have some great advice to give, despite her flawed relationship with Stan, which had come to an end like... an year before. Wendy was very smart and knew many things about love, unlike many girls in his grade. She had even found someone else months after her break up with Stan, for that matter. Someone who was very great, too, but Kyle didn't know who they were... they weren't from their school, he supposed?
In any case, Kyle ended up listening to Wendy, given how unusually desperate he had been. She had noted his great use of words (which were mainly for speeches, not usually love declarations) and had told him to express his feelings through a love letter, a poem or- or even better (or worse?)... a song.
Basically, serenading. Because, apparently, it was very romantic and would immediately "draw his loved one to his arms".
Well, it wasn't something Kyle hadn't done before - except it had been for some homeschooled girl, who hadn't had any real knowledge of love, not his Super Best Friend. This was hopeless and- honestly, he fucking hated using this to describe the situation negatively, but-
It was so gay.
He had absolutely nothing against homosexuals, of course not! But hell, if- if Stan weren't gay, then would he even want to look Kyle in the face ever again? He knew they weren't as close as before, but he didn't want to rip what was left of their friendship because of a love confession.
But if he didn't say anything, he... he would regret it. He knew he would. Keeping it inside him had already done some pretty bad damage and- and the constant reminder that he wouldn't have told Stan would be way fucking worse.
It hurt.
Ultimately, Kyle concluded that he would have to tell Stan sooner or later.
That night was the night he made his decision: either he would step forward to the dark green house that stood only a few meters away from him or he would return home like... like a loser.
...
Kyle took a deep breath as he faced the Marsh's house. Much to his relief, Stan's room was still lit. He wondered if there was anyone else there, judging by the fact that the rest of the house was dark. Stan's parents might have gone somewhere else to have dinner or something; which was a great thing, honestly. The last thing Kyle wanted was for them to witness the embarrassment he was about to make.
He looked around fast, for a moment feeling that someone might be watching him. No one could be seen in the street, though, and Kyle didn't hear any... suspicious noises. Stan's house was quiet, as well as the neighborhood as a whole, with the exception of the distant crickets. Kyle sighed in relief and turned back to the house.
Slowly, he approached it. Suddenly, though, he... hesitated and faced his own feet, which were inside his dark boots. He considered, pondered... would that be a good idea?
Nope, Kyle replied to himself, groaning.
It wasn't. Hell not. Apart from having to reveal his deepest feelings for his Super Best Friend, he... he hadn't actually composed something of his own to play. Not that he hadn't tried, but, as far as Kyle remembered, Wendy had also mentioned he could sing an existent song... if that were the case. He couldn't quite place the right words by himself so he ended up going for that instead. Still, part of him wished it could be original, just like the first time he had serenaded.
However, the song he chose... it was- it was just perfect for him to... to say what he truly felt. To let Stan know how much he... he loved him - not in a Super Best Friend way. The song was short, but its lyrics were true poetry. No wonder why it had been performed by many artists around the world.
Goddammit, he hadn't worked so hard just so he could just run away aftewards! He was Kyle Broflovski and nothing could scare him! He had done so many things and had been under several stressful situations before, so a love confession couldn't be any more frightening, could it?
Sighing again, Kyle placed the guitar case on the snowy ground, opening it so he could get the instrument. Looking at it again, he could tell just how old it was; at least it wasn't completely busted. His fingers touched the guitar chords and checked if there were any problems, even though he had done so before getting there. It didn't hurt to do it one more time, though.
Before anything, Kyle looked up. Stan's room was still lit; the only light, apart from the stars and the moon, where resided his great love. Stan was in the comfort and warmth of his bedroom while Kyle stood outside, in the freezing night. They were only... a window apart. Nothing was there to stop them. No one would be there to insult them or separate them. There was no Cartman, no parents, nobody else. It was their moment; a moment that they hadn't had in a while and would most likely never have again.
Kyle took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
"Well," He muttered. "Here goes nothing..."
With the cold air of the night, though romantic with the grand moon above him, Kyle then made music once his fingers danced with the guitar chords, playing the simple but lovely notes of the song. A few seconds passed without any singing, allowing him to clear his throat and to try ignoring the feeling in his stomach that everything would go wrong.
Follow your heart, a voice (probably Wendy's?) told him.
And so he did.
"When the night has come and the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we'll see
No I won't be afraid, no I won't be afraid"
His ears acknowledged the sound of an opening window, only for Kyle to find the familiar silhouette that resonated.
"Just as long," Kyle continued, a smile forming on his face.
"As you, Stan, stand by me..."
... wait, that wasn't-
But Kyle ignored whatever he thought because he was then singing with more passion, and the melody went from shy to strong.
"So darling, darling, stand by me, oh, stand by me
Oh, Stan, stand by me, stand by me..."
From the snow, Kyle could see those wonderful blue eyes that stared at him while he performed. They were sparkling, more than the starry, black sky, more than the moon itself. They encountered Kyle's own green ones.
The lyrics continued to be sang and his lonely, lovestruck guitar was the only other sound they could hear.
"If the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
Or the mountains should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry, no I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you, Stan, stand by me"
Beginning the chorus again, Kyle closed his eyes again, feeling closer to Stan than before.
"And darling, darling, stand by me, oh, stand by me
Oh, Stan, now, stand by me, stand by me..."
The instrument and his fingers together continued the tune, a remarkable solo. Despite initially having difficulties learning that part, Kyle... performed it perfectly. Once he finished, he resumed the lyrics.
"Darling, darling, stand by me, oh, stand by me
Oh, Stan, now, stand by me, stand by me...
Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me, oh, stand by me
Oh, Stan, now
Oh, Stan, stand by me
Stand by me..."
Kyle's fingers and the chords finished their work, the sound fading away. He had his eyes closed and his breath became a little accelerated. The cold weather was not that troubling to him anymore.
He... he felt... lighter. As if a huge weight was removed and there was... less pain on his shoulders and his heart. Those last weeks had been awfully challenging, but it was gone within a short amount of time.
Kyle let out... a laugh. A joyful laugh, upon realizing he had just done something he had feared so much and- not to brag or anything - he did awesomely. Genuinely and from his heart through music.
Finally, he had the gut to look up, to see Stan, as it was all very quiet again.
...
But... he wasn't there.
Stan was gone.
The light was still on, but here was no sign of Stan.
He just... just left him there.
"S... Stan?" Kyle called, rather loud so he could hear him.
Silence.
...
Actually, that... wasn't much of a problem, until...
Until Stan closed the window.
He- he just-
He just closed the window, so fast that it made a loud noise, causing Kyle to flinch.
"Stan?" He called again.
...
... no.
No, hell no-
He- He hadn't done all that shit just so Stan could close the fucking window right on his face and just- leave him there freezing outside! No, he- he wanted an answer!
"Stan!" Kyle yelled, his anger notable.
...
... but there was nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
...
... or maybe...
That was his answer.
Silence. The sound of the window blocking his voice - signs that Stan didn't... actually want anything to do with Kyle and his stupid feelings. It was clear, wasn't it?
Nothing was what Stan felt for him. Nothing.
Kyle growled and threw the guitar to the ground, making a horrible noise (though part of him feared he had actually broken it, but it was still in pieces; it sure was one resistent guitar).
...
S... Something... watered his eyes-
No.
God, NO-
He couldn't- he couldn't fucking cry. Never had he cried over love because he was far stronger than that, he- he truly was!
Goddammit, he couldn't cry! He had Stan's answer, he should just- accept it!
Why was he even... that heartbroken? He had expected Stan wouldn't return the same feelings, hadn't he? He had considered rejection!
Kyle shook his head, letting out a sniff while hot tears rolled down his face. He dried those with the sleeve of his coat, but more demanded to fall, to be felt. But Kyle didn't want to feel those dumbass tears, he didn't have a goddamn reason, anyway.
He shouldn't be hurt. It wasn't like it hadn't happened before, he- he should have fucking learned that no one ever wanted to be with him, not even his Super Best Friend- maybe it was because he was like his mom or he was still the ugliest kid in class, uglier than Eric fucking Cartman, even though he should be proud that he wasn't a beautiful, good-looking fuckhead- Abraham Lincoln said so!
Kyle was still great, wasn't he? He might not be cute but- but at least he still had his dignity. He had accepted that! If one of the former presidents of the United States believed in his potential, then he should be fucking proud.
He needn't cry.
Why- Why was he still there? What was even the fucking point of waiting? Stan made it clear. He wanted nothing from him. That was it. At least Kyle finally let it go. No more pain. No more suffering and endless thinking. It was done and he should be proud of himself!
Why wouldn't he stop crying?
Kyle let out a deep, painful sigh as he held his old guitar close to him. He found himself shivering and his nose was most likely red and nearly frozen like ice cream. He doubted it could even be compared to how bad his heart ached as the muteness of Stan's house ripped it apart. His gaze no longer found the Marsh residence and instead stared at the dumb snow. His boots crunched the frosty ground, which still freezed his feet, but he had gotten used to it- South Park was snow with a town stuck in it. Well, fuck that.
Kyle walked away miserably, his confident composure lost for some reason. The haunting, dead silence of Stan's house filled the air. Meanwhile, his face twitched everytime a tear fell and he found himself growling and covering his face ashamedly. Why couldn't he just- stop already?! Hadn't he learned?
It was fine. Everything would be fine. Stan might not return his feelings or... or might not even want to talk to him or look at him in the eye ever again, but it was alright because Kyle was nothing but an ugly piece of shit but who would make great accomplishments in the future, and he would be alright, he would be fine with loneliness, why couldn't he stop crying, he would be fine, fine, fine, fine-!
"Kyle, wait!"
He stopped. He was frozen where he stood, while the sound of feet crunching snow could be heard from behind. Kyle didn't even have time to think before he felt two hands turning him around, to reveal the other boy, who had just freaking left him with the rejection.
But there he was- Stan Marsh, his- his dumb best friend and love, he was actually right there, panting a little, and his eyes, still sparkling more than the sky. He was in his Terrance and Philip pajamas (the same one he had had back then, but bigger; it turned out that Stan still wore those guys as pajamas though nobody really liked them anymore), even though he remembered to grab his brown coat to protect himself from the cold.
Kyle's eyes widened in shock, genuinely not expecting Stan would go after him after being alone with the cold silence for so long. In fact, he did blink a few times and rubbed his eyes, who were still wet, just to make sure he wasn't seeing things. No, he... he really wasn't.
He let out a sniff, looking away as he realized that Stan might have noticed he was crying. Kyle definitely made a fool out of himself, he was so pathetic.
He felt a hand cupping his chin and making him raise his head a little to look at Stan, whose ungloved hand touched Kyle's cheek, drying the remaining tears.
"Kyle," Stan breathed, sending Kyle a sudden shiver, though it could have been the cold again.
"Oh my god, Kyle, I'm- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I..." His best friend continued, appearing to be... guilty, as he knew what had caused Kyle to cry.
Either way, the redhead couldn't... quite concentrate with the other being too... too close to him, staring at him with those alluring blue eyes, where Kyle would get lost into the millions of galaxies that composed its endless depth. He could also see Stan's breathing condensing in the frigid air.
"Dude..." Stan spoke again, sounding rather... dumbfounded. Kyle's face was definitely as red as his own messy hair, hid inside his green ushanka at the time. His Super Best Friend wouldn't stop... gazing at him that way...
"T... That was..." The black-haired boy tried to form a sentence but... he failed. His hand was strangely warm, too.
Kyle was speechless as well and couldn't think straight. He had expected themselves to... to part their ways without saying a proper goodbye. Plus, Stan didn't look uncomfortable or annoyed. In fact, he looked stunned. Amazed. Kyle was drawn to his eyes, locking their gaze so strongly. The cold that surrounded was meaningless then, even though Stan's nose was also pretty red. Yet neither of them gave a flying fuck at the moment.
Both of Stan's hands were placed on Kyle's cheeks and his blue eyes would, apparently, encounter the other's... lips? Although no words were spoken, they no longer heard outside noises. It felt like they were isolated in their own universe, away from everything else. Stan's panting eventually stopped, then he started breathing normally, but Stan was quiet. Too quiet. He gave up trying to talk.
But Kyle didn't... need words to... to know what he truly meant.
His eyes gave it all. His gesture even more, especially as... as Kyle realized the distance between their faces was shortening by each second and he did nothing because he just- didn't have his brain working and-!
Stan kissed him.
...
Stan... Stan kissed him.
He... he kissed him- on the lips!
What. What the fuck?!
Kyle- felt his lips on his own. It... It was soft and timid at first, but then it hardened a little. It tasted like... chocolate milk? He could also distinct the mint in his breath, too. It was strange but... but... in all honesty, Kyle couldn't find anything to describe it after some time.
He couldn't even tell how long the kiss lasted. As soon as he realized, Stan was only a few centimeters away from him again, his eyes shining even brighter, if that was possible. Kyle's face was possibly a giant tomato at that moment, due to the fact that his cheeks were close to burning; he didn't doubt that the snow around them melted. He noticed he had dropped his guitar in the ground, too.
Kyle blinked too many times, having a hard time believing it had just freaking happened. Stan was as bamboozled, neither of them saying any words, but little were they necessary. Their eyes shared thousands of words, the hidden love being revealed to one another truthfully, yet silently. Kyle was immobile while Stan kept him close, one of his hands grasping the other boy's coat while the other reached Kyle's unprotected face.
Stan started smiling like an idiot all of a sudden, leading Kyle to do the same. The former let out a shy, warm laugh that sounded like an angelic tune to the latter's ears as they both gave each other enamored looks.
Their lips encountered once more. Kyle was less reserved the second time, assured of Stan's feelings. He felt his messy black hair that came out of the same old blue hat while Stan wrapped his arms around his body. Kyle felt like he was floating. Floating with Stan and both parting together into the depths of the cosmos. He had never kissed someone to the point of feeling something so... profound.
Finally, they stopped to catch their breath again. Stan's panting was warmer, as he was still close enough to feel it hitting on his face.
"W-Woah, dude," Stan let out, the first words he spoke after everything, leading Kyle to laugh.
They both panted and laughed at the same time. Eventually, Kyle's smile dropped slightly, which was not ignored by Stan.
"What is it?" He asked, his smile fading as well.
"Look, I..." Kyle sighed deeply. "I know we haven't been talking much lately, I know that... that we'll soon have our own lives away from each other, but- you mean a whole lot to me, Stan.
"Y... You've always been there for me, you've been there to call out on me for my bullshit sometimes... goddammit, you saved my life countless times, you even managed to get Cartman's freaking kidney to save my ass!
"You've done so much for me, Stan, and... shit," Kyle lowered his head sadly. "I'm... I'm sorry for not realizing that until now."
"K... Kyle..." Stan's voice was quieter now.
He raised his head again, his hand reaching Stan's cheek.
"W-What I'm trying to say is that... I...
"I love you."
He... he did it.
He finally said it out loud, but in a different meaning.
It must be clear to Stan, whose eyes widened.
"I love you, Stan," Kyle repeated. "I... I always have. I couldn't bare to lose you and not... tell you what has been inside me all this time."
"Kyle, I..."
Whatever Stan was about to say was unfortunately cut off by the sound of an incoming car and two flashing lights, which brought them back to the real world. It happened to be Stan's parents, Randy and Sharon Marsh. Once the car stopped by the garage, the adults got out of the vehicle. They were... dressing up nicely, meaning they did go out to have some fancy dinner. They were surprised to find Stan and Kyle outside, especially with the latter's guitar lying on the snow. Both parents gave them strange looks, but Sharon was quick to give them a smile before they really noticed.
"Why, hello, Kyle! What a nice surprise!" She greeted him.
"Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Marsh," Kyle cleared his throat, pushing Stan away slightly.
Randy raised an eyebrow, having definitely noticed how weird the environment was.
"Why aren't you boys in bed? You've got school tomorrow." He pointed.
"W-Well, I just came over to, uh... show Stan something, that's all." Kyle nervously came up with a lame excuse.
Obviously, neither seemed to buy it, but Sharon seemed more amenable than her husband. There were no more questions, though, much to Kyle's relief.
"You'd better do that inside, it's freezing out here," She said.
"A-Actually, I should be going home." Kyle declined the offer, even though he would very much like to go to Stan's house so he could spend more time with the other boy. However, the thought of Sheila Broflovski finding out that her son was not to be found in bed right away was too terrifying to be put aside. "I was, um, already on my way. I did show Stan the thing, so yeah."
"Well, alright then," Sharon said as she unlocked the door and allowed Randy to get in. "Good night! Tell Sheila I said hi!"
"I will, good night," Kyle smiled warmly.
"Good night, Kyle," Randy spoke, sounding serious and... looking suspicious, which made Kyle unusually nervous, despite him being Stan's dad.
He only waved him goodbye and, soon enough, the parents were out of sight, while Stan decided to stay behind. Kyle looked at him nervously, feeling that Randy and Sharon would be watching them. It all suddenly became pretty awkward.
Kyle let out a sigh and picked his guitar.
"W-Wait, Kyle," Stan said soon after. "Don't go."
"They're right, you know," Kyle replied, sad that he had to leave. "It's getting late and you know how school can be a worse pain in the ass when we don't get proper sleep. Besides, my mom is definitely going nuts when she finds out I'm gone.
"And, uh, you're freezing, dude." He added, noticing that Stan shivered.
"No, I'm not," Stan hugged himself, letting out a shaky breath. Kyle couldn't lie that he was, too, but it was more subtle in his case. Stan made it pretty obvious, especially as Kyle realized that he didn't even wear boots to protect his feet.
"Holy shit, dude," He muttered once he noticed that.
"I'm fine," Stan laughed shyly, despite trembling.
"Stanley?" Sharon called him from afar. "Are you coming?"
The black-haired boy turned around, though glancing at Kyle before replying to her.
"Yeah, mom! Just a minute!" He said.
Stan faced Kyle again. The latter put the guitar inside the case, both cold as ice.
"I... I better go now." Kyle said, taking a deep breath.
"Yeah, s-same."
There was an awkward silence between them for some time. Kyle couldn't really look at Stan in the eye like they had done before. There wasn't that same contact - not with Stan's parents around...
"Well, um," Kyle broke the silence. "Good night."
"Oh, uh," Stan shook his head, appearing to be lost. "G-Good night, Kyle."
"I'll... see you at the bus stop tomorrow, then," Kyle began walking away slowly, taking one step at a time.
"O-Okay, at the bus stop," Stan nodded. "Yeah, at the bus stop, tomorrow... y-yeah, good night."
Stan's face flushed red and he looked away for a moment, much to Kyle's amusement.
"Good night, Stan," Kyle repeated, chuckling.
Stan smiled. "Sleep tight."
"You too."
There... there was so much more Kyle wanted to say, but he couldn't at the moment. It was unfortunate that they had to leave their own little universe, but they couldn't remain there forever, no matter how much they wanted. Perhaps they shall meet each other in there again, away from everything for good.
Kyle let out a sigh, finally turning around and making his way home. He could hear Stan sighing as well, but didn't look back. Kyle's steps were slow, despite the need of rushing so that his mother wouldn't kill him. He looked at the dumb snow that surrounded him. The street was quiet again, with the crickets making their repetitive noise all night.
That is, until Kyle heard footsteps racing to him and felt a hand grabbing his arm.
His heart nearly jumped off his chest, but didn't let out a scream as he found Stan in front of him again. His Super Best Friend gave him his loving, heartwarming smile, too sacred for this world to deserve.
"I'll stand by you," Stan whispered, kissing him on the cheek.
"Always."
A/N: welp, hope that wasn't too bad
It's weird writing poetically while cursing at the same time... but, uh, it's South Park, I guess
I don't know if I'll write SP again any sooner, because I have Undertale to obsess with as well xD But if anything, I might write more Style in the future :D
Happy (early) Valentine's Day!
