New Year's Eve Special: Jardineiro's New Year's Eve!
PHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEW. BOOM!
I smiled wistfully and took another donut as I heard the first fireworks explode in the Village. How much I loved that sound... I didn't mind being wheelchair-bound most of the time - I didn't ever had to walk! People gave me precedence in stores! - but staying home to look after the piñatas at New Year's Eve definately was one of the downsides to it.
All alone. While my children were partying, and watching the stunning spectacle of Bart's New Year's Eve Firework Show... Great Gods, I remember that first show of his, back in... I don't even remember the year! I only remember the overwhelmingly beautiful pink and yellow sparks in the nightsky, the silvery green fountains of fire...
His show had only improved over the years. Oh man, I wish I could see what he'll come up with tonight... How was he even going to beat all his previous prestations?
I've heard rumours about a glittery, swirling purple Dragonache... My favorite piñata despite the tragedy that made me lose my poor, poor wife.
Gods, I would've loved to see it...
''No whining, Jardineiro!'' I exhortingly said to myself, as I felt a tear prickling in the corner of my eye. ''Leafos promised she'd take pictures! You don't have to miss out on anything, in fact, you won't have to hear half the noise and because your children aren't home, you can get sozzled without feeling guilty about being a bad rolemodel!''
That Ameena-girl had offered to stay with me tonight. Really nice of her, of course. Which teenager would ever choose to chat with an elderly man all evening instead of going out with her friends to watch a firework show and... do whatever young folks do nowadays?
Obviously, I said no. She wouldn't want to miss out on the party, I told her, while the truth was... I didn't want to miss out on eating and drinking limitless! No way Leafos would ever let me, the girl even reprimanded me when I took a second plate at supper! Well, she usually didn't bother much with the second one, but at the third portion...
'I wanted to give Seedos a package with the leftovers, dad! Gosh, I can't believe you... You're so selfish! You know Seedos hardly eats anything good...'
The latter is true. Well, the first probaly too, but even I have to admit that Sidos' situation is... quite concerning.
My youngest son could just be the most talented gardener on the Island, I can reconize such qualities... I mean, Ameena's doing very well at the moment, but I think everyone in the family and our closest friends - who I actually consider family too - knows I'd rather have seen SIDOS taking over the garden... Not just 'cause he's my flesh and blood, also because I've seen him growing plants when he were younger - lush, colorful plants that almost reached to the clouds! - and I know he's the master of interacting with piñatas...
Unfortunately he's always preferred slimy, soggy Shellybeans. I just can't see why he restricts himself to the lowest mollusc piñatas on the Island, he could've done way better! I remember a Pieena in our old Garden, that used to have a soft spot for Sidos... It would always stand up for him when bullied by older children, and I can even recall that time when it scared a huge, rough Sarsgorilla away that I had been trying to attract for ages...
Mr Pieena obviously couldn't see my efforts; all the stupid paper thing could think about was his little boy's safety! Of course I couldn't work with a piñata like that in my garden, so I went to the Post Office - where the now famous/notorious conjurer and merchant Carrie Chewdini worked back then - and ordered me a crate.
Now my sister that lived on the other side of the Island - the Piñarctic! - had always liked Pieenas and Pretztails. I thought that I'd do her a favour with the one I wanted to get rid of. I certainly did, she sent me a note back that she loved her new Pieena coat very much!
'It goes well with my Pretztail scarf...'
... the rest I don't remember, really. And I don't think it is relevant...
I groaned as I reached out to get me a goldish brown, looped, sugary churro. I loved them like this! I'm a very critical man when it comes to churros, so Ameena must be a pretty amazing cook.
I always use my father's churros as benchmark. The man was born in Spain - and even though I don't know if churros are a Spanish or a Mexican treat - until now I've never seen anyone making them comparable to his.
I must give Ameena credit when she gets home...
Ahh! ...The way the sweet dough melts in your mouth... Me being alone with a whole plate of these... I might seem unsociable, but this is a perfect New Year's Eve to me! I remember last year...
Oh boy, that was boring. Leafos felt bad for me sitting at home while all my acquaintances were 'partying' - in the old folk's home, right? - and thus decided to keep me company. Then, I couldn't see why that'll be bad... I'd ever been alone the last few years before, so I thought it'd be a good idea to break the chain of boring...
How wrong was I!
All my dearest daughter could chit chat about were her stupid childhood memories with me and her mother.
'Papa, do you remember when we went to the beach, when I was five? Do you remember how scared Seedos used to be of water? And do you remember when Storkos flought, for the very first time ever? I was so proud of her! Little did I know she'd grow up to be an annoying super hero-wannabe... Ugh...'
And that's what I thought. 'Ugh...'
When I told her to quit talking about the past, she started rambling about the latest gossip. Well, all I remember from that was that that dreadful Miss Petula dated some guy with a part-time job as a Watchling - 'can you believe how pathetic that is, daddy? She's dating a Helper, oh em gee, a Helper!' - and that Lottie and Willy had a dip in their relationship... How interesting.
I really don't know what Leafos is thinking. She used to be pretty talented at drawing, she's drew all pictures in the Journal, and not only that, she's written every single page in the encyclopedia section.
When she turned 16, I told her to leave the Island to study in America.
'Eventhough it doesn't always show, but you're a very intelligent young lady' I told her. 'Every University would love you to be one of their students...'
'I can't father, you know I can't leave you like this! I'm the only one left to take care of you - Storkos' always on the roll with her ''super hero'' job, Seedos is too mentally scarred to even get out of the swamp and Stardos... The Gods know what happened to Stardos!'
'I don't want to hear a word about Stardos young lady, you're going to study in the States and that's that! Here, this morning when the internet connection was working - nerve wrackingly slow, of course! - I found you this nice, good college... Columbia University, in the city of New York!'
Leafos had crossed her arms sardonically. 'Do you really think we have the money for Columbia?' she asked as she shook her head in disbelief, her ponytails bouncing a little with the movement 'You don't even have enough money to send me to a school in the Central City!'
'That's not true! I just...' Okay, it wás true. 'I just heard that school is no good. I'm not going to spend thousands of choco coins just to give you a few years of bad education!'
'The thing is, we don't have thousands of choco coins, dad! And please, forget about me going to college! The Garden is where I belong! I might not be good enough at gardening to take it over myself, but I'll try to find you a new successor...'
'There's no NEED to find me a new successor; Sidos'll take over my garden as soon as he realizes he can't live in that filthy bog forever!'
'Dad, there is no Sidos anymore! He's calling himself Seedos now - and there's no way THAT boy is going to give up his huge collection of seeds and his family of Shellybeans...'
'Family of Shellybeans? Non sense! We are his family wether he likes us or not!'
'Newsflash! He does not like us! He certainly does not like you, that's for sure!'
'What do I do to make him like me? Get me a huge SHELL somewhere and grow me a pair of antennae?'
'No, he does not not like you because you're not a Shellybean!' Leafos tried to blink a tear away. Strange how females always managed to change emotions in no time... 'He... he is mad at you because you never tried to save him when he had disappeared in the swamp...'
'Well, I ain't no super hero like Storkos, am I?' I hailed agitated as a vein in my neck swole dangerously. 'What the Hell does that boy expect from me?'
'Nothing but fatherly love, dad, nothing but thát!'
That's when Leafos couldn't cope with all of her feelings anymore and ran off to... I guess she ran of to the wilderness that once'd been my wonderful Garden. The Garden ever remained her favorite place; no matter how the lap of ground had changed and no matter how many bad memories were bound to it, the girl kept seeing it as a... As a small piece of paradise, I guess. A refuge.
I wish that I could feel the same way... I used to, when I first received that breathtaking piece of land! Those first few years, attracting the first small piñatas and growing the first poppies, daisies, buttercups...
I was eager to learn, and improved fast, eventhough I had to find out most things on my own. (No Journal back then!) There didn't run gardener's blood through the veins of my family, my mother was a merchant in a nearby village - her store was comparable to Costolot's, if you divide both it's size in square piñometres and the prices of the wares with ten - and my father worked in the piñata-building industry.
A very interesting craft, just not for me. I have two left hands when it comes to working with tiny scraps of paper!
To get back to my early gardening, that's where I met my lovely, lovely wife... She used to be a Sprinkling, back in the day, and I decided to hire one because I wanted to focus more on romancing with actual higher level piñatas, instead of having to bother with withered plants...
But when I saw the beautiful mask of my newly hired Helper... Romancing piñatas suddenly seemed way less interesting than romancing... Myself. As a human.
'Hey, my name's Jardineiro.' I remember shaking the soft, surprisingly pale hand. Shouldn't she be more tan, if working outdoors all the time?
'My name is Neela. I... Do you have my contract? I'm so sorry, I'm pretty new to this...' She giggled.
I thought she was shy at first... Later I learned that miss Neela was FAR from shy, but back then all I could do was being surprised about the fact that she was wearing a hideous Sprinkling uniform and -mask, and still looked enchantingly beautiful.
'Y... Yeah. Yeah, I guess this is your contract... P-pardon me, miss, you're the first Helper I've ever...'
'That's okay.'
She giggled once again and took a pen out of that awful purple blouse she had on... No, I didn't like that shirt, but I sure liked what was in it!
'Then... You'll have to sign here, miss Neela.'
'O, yeah... Hihihihihihi, my first job! Awesome!'
At that point.. I wasn't sure wether I wanted to offer her another ''job'' or if I wanted to get rid of this headache-giving woman as soon as possible.
Later I found out giggling, talking in a ridiculously high-pitched voice and wearing ugly blouses weren't part of her personality, at all. Her boss made her act like that, she told me, those were typical Sprinkler characteristics.
I was so relieved to know my obviously good taste didn't let me down in such a thing as... love. 'Cause that is what it was, love. I was pretty old when we got married, 35. On the mainland this might not be a shockingly high age to get hitched, on Piñata Island it is, especially back in the day.
Neela was pregnant before the wedding day. Her belly began to show a bit already, hahaha, I remember Neela being worried that her dress wouldn't fit... Well, her sister had to adjust it a little bit for Neela to fit in, but I suppose that went well because I've never heard any funny or dramatic stories about it.
For our honeymoon, we went to visit my aunties in Ireland. That was the first time I ever went back to my roots, and the last one, to be honest. I feel like an Islander, I was born and raised here... But visiting Ireland was amazing! I've ran through green, sloping highlands, I've chased the rainbow to find a pot of gold in the forest, and I've loved Celtic music ever since... My auntie used to play it at night, her telly only had one channel and we needed something to keep ourselves entertained!
We returned back home in the 8th month of Neela's pregnancy. I was so relieved when I firstly held the baby - Stardos - I was so happy to know he was all healthy!
I must admit, though, that my love for Stardos decreased a little over the years... He was so damn cocky! But, I guess that's a typical case of like father, like son.
All my ''products'', my children, are a tad big eccentric... What does that tell about me?
One of them is... well, Leafos. I always considered her the most 'normal' out of the four... But lately I've heard rumours that she's dating that Lickatoad Langston, and I've heard, let's say... creepy stuff going on in her room, a few weeks ago. I think that is enough reason to doubt her sanity...
Storkos, my other daughter might be a bit more sane then. She has a great job for the Piñata Central, she deliveres eggs to piñata parents all over the Island... She has always liked playing stork, she started getting me my eggs at the age of seven, and at the age of nine she took the deliveries of our neighbours into account too...
I remember being so proud of her, she worked hard, she had a passion! I think all those compliments get to her head, though... Nowadays she wears a super hero costume while doing her work... When I think about it, she even wears it at home!
Leafos sure is right whenever she makes fun of it, which happens a lot...
Not that Storkos's home much, she hardly is. Sometimes I hear her sneaking out in the middle of the night, 'emergency delivery', she calls it when I ask her about it at breakfast.
I'm not hundred per cent sure wether I should trust her telling me that... Most kids of her age are pretty much interested in beings of the other gender, could it be she has some... boyfriend, somewhere? I know some boys in the Village have quite big crushes on her... I just hope she won't have to... you know... deliver herself an egg soon!
And then we have my only ''remaining'' son - though I have my doubts about him being my only living, male flesh and blood - Sidos. I refuse to call him ''Seedos'', that's an utterly ridiculous name. Seed... Call me a dirty old man, but that makes me think of something completely different!
I know Sidos has no idea of the obscenity of his newly chosen name. He is so damn naive, it's unbelievable! Does that boy even have hormones, or what?
I must admit that I'm not completely happy about him growing up in the swamp. I've argued a lot about this with Leafos, but my viewpoint remains that Sidos is welcome if he wants to return, but that I am not going to bend over backwards just to make him come back! He probably doesn't even want too, I've heard he's having a great time in the bog with his... family - hmph! - of Shellybeans!
But with Sidos, I know everything is going to be alright. Eventhough his interests are fairly different from those of most teens, he remains a adolescent, and rebellious phases are nothing less than part of puberty.
Someone that concerns me more, though is... I'm not sure what to call him. His actual name is Stardos, but I'm afraid he's better known under his pseudonym ''Dastardos''...
Of course it is a very crazy thing to think that you are the father of a piñata reaper. It doesn't make the tiniest bit of sense... How could a human couple ever beget a... supernatural thing? ''Dastardos'' is something supernatural, a half-God, a demonic entity...
No. No way that could've come from Neela's womb!
But, there was this possibility that someone or something had CHANGED Stardos to... Dastardos. About two months after Stardos' disappearence, Dastardos whacked one of my ill piñatas for the very first time... There must be a link.
I still get sad when I remember that good, old Bunnycomb, though. It never should've happened! We had a horrible vet back then, his name was Gregios, the man was worse than Doc Patchingo. Patch didn't live on the Island yet, I heard he'd studied in England, I envy him, the United Kingdom is fantastic!
However, about Stardos. He was one strange kid - he did the most lurid things, like re-building Choclodocus skeletons and trying to get them back to life! - but he was an excellent Gardener, perhaps even better than Seedos.
He could've been my heir, he could've become a rich, famous, LEGENDARY Gardener! Instead, he's staying in a twisted, dead tree in the desert, and reaps piñatas for their life sweets... Totally Stardos! He's always been interested in the ''Cores Of Life'', as he used to call them, and he's never cared about comfort or luxury...
What me concerns the most, is that this Dastardos figure doesn't speak, it makes strange, humming sounds... It looks like it's in trance all the time... Did Stardos turn insane? Or demented? Has he aged with unnaturally fast? Dastardos has grey hair - Stardos' hair used to be dark blueish-black!
And it's wearing a mask similar to Cueraça's, the God of Death... Very disturbing! He probably made it himself, because no way any mask store - there are a few in Central City, but Villagers don't like them because they're not personal enough - would sell a mask obscure like THAT!
Everyone sane fears Cueraça, the taker of life, but Dastardos on the other hand just risks to raise a Dark God's wrath! He's not only wearing Cueraça's mask, he's taken his profession over, too! Great Gods, that young man had either too much courage or too much arrogance!
I remember Stardos being overly-couraged and arrogant...
Argh, I don't even know who he's trying to fool! That name! Dastardos, ''Da Stardos''... trying to get ''gangsta'' or what? I, Jardineiro, am not an idiot! I reconize my son when I see him!
And it's not like I haven't tried to speak to him... I sure have, countless times... He just never answers me. He doesn't even make the effort to LOOK me in the eyes... It hurts, I admit it, it hurts... Why's that boy giving me attitude? I'm his father, all I want to do is help him!
I assume that means that he doesn't WANT my help... Fine. But he damn sure needs it! I mean, what does he do with those life sweets? Sometimes I fear that he... eats them.
But that can't be, that's way too disgusting! Eating piñata's regular sweets is not less than normal, providing candy is what piñatas were created for, after all!
But eating a piñata's life sweet... That's comparable to cannibalism, to us Islanders! We - I won't say worship - but we... Respect the piñatas, they are no ordinairy animals! They are what our Island stands for, the first piñatas were created by The Gods...
Besides all that, piñatas are our main industry. Without them, the Island wouldn't have any income, then we would have to swap our nice, laid-back lives for... Agriculture! Tourism! That just isn't for us Islanders, it would destroy our identity!
Piñatas are what keeps us unique, and what keeps us together. We need them to keep existing the way we do now.
And that is why I hope with whole my heart that my son doesn't eat their life sweets! It would make him a worse then a monster!
''Dontchoo worry Jardineiro, you old poseur!'' I murmured out loud as I re-filled my crystal champagne glass. ''He not your responsibily anymow...''
Gosh, speaking was getting hard... First sign of me getting tipsy. How many glasses had I drunk? Five? Six? Twelve? I would stop after this glass. I didn't want the children to arrive home and find me all drunk... Well, for Leafos and Seedos I didn't really care... I suppose they've seen that quite a few times, especially Leafos. She always comes to the living room to wish me good night when I think she's sleeping already!
But I didn't want Ameena to be shocked... She's so overly innocent! She even was confused when she found out that the Romantic Dances of the piñatas were equal to having sex...
'But I thought they only danced like that for fun! I never expected them to make a baby!'
Laughable, of course, that girl and her strange, naive ideas... Just like Sidos, but cuter! Sidos is nothing but a Shellybean-loving loser, Ameena is... Ameena is the kind of girl I would've loved to have as a daughter.
Not that I'm complaining about Leafos or Storkos - compared to the boys their doing incredibly well - but I'm more than very fond of Ameena...
She's an excellent Gardener, a perfect Successor. Of course I'm not going to tell her until she attracts a Roario - king of the piñatas! - but I am hundred per cent sure she will find out eventually...
'Cause if I were a Roario, I would definately settle down in her garden one day.
''One day Ameena, when you're more experienzed...'' I murmured slurrily, ''One day you'll be just az lezzendary as me!''
I raised my glass - which was now half empty - to no one in particular - with who was I supposed to toast, I was all alone, wasn't I? - and then I took my mask off, grabbed my favorite pillow and made up for a nap.
But before I closed my eyes, I took a look at the clock... 1 in the morning. January the first... How could I have forgotten?
I smiled lightly. ''Happy birzday, Neela...''
I remember falling asleep with my hand on my chest, my fingers clenched around Neela's favorite medaillon. I had worn it secretly under my shirt ever since the day she'd died.
