It's hard to write an autobiography. Or history. I suppose in my case, it's one and the same really. Most people overlook books like this, always going on to read the comics or take their fill of gaudy harlequin romances. Or a badly written action/drama/supernatural series of books that for some reason has gained a cult following. I don't know. History can be cool.
Sadly, its fact that 'history' as it is commonly called is really made up. It gets glossed, or worsened over time, or, as it happens quite often, simply forgotten. Then again, humans have such a hard time thinking beyond themselves. But they sure do love making up some crazy stuff! Especially how things got started. Most of the myths were way off mark, but really, I don't mind. Everything needs a beginning you know, and those are easy.
I suppose I should start at the very beginning, cause, well, we have to start somewhere. Before there was a before, there wasn't anything.
Nothing.
Nada.
Just, well not even me. It's hard to understand, but even I don't know how I began. I am…I am. Really. I don't remember being born. I just was. I do remember nothing though. Literally. Complete and utter darkness. It too was just…there. It was different than I, but alike. Maybe I was part of it. In the darkness, I saw possibility. The first possibility I saw was change. And I made that change.
BOOM
There was light. Obviously, the opposite of darkness is light, but I didn't know that. All I knew, is that I was the light. I was different from what I was before. My light went out in all directions, which was new, because there was space. Space to expand, to go further. This concept of space was wholly new, and so was the other new concept that came with it. I, as light, was everywhere. But to travel as light through space took something called time.
Time was amazing. I could be in it and out of it at the same time. As my light spread, it went further and further. I sometimes broke it apart, changing it. Sometimes I sped it up, making a new type of space. Or I slowed it down, bending it, made waves of it. It didn't occur to me then, but not only was I light. I was energy. Power.
The light cooled in the darkness, and I saw it made new things. The Darkness and I didn't work together per se, but we certainly helped each other. My light, my energy cooled to become new things. Solid things. New forces arose, forces I shaped to help me make new things. The Darkness in turn used these forces to separate itself from my light. I can't recall if I ever gave it these powers, or it had always had them. It was such a long time ago.
These solid things, over time, grouped with each other. Growing ever larger, I was surprised one day to see that one of the groups flare up in light! It shown with a light by itself, a mirror of my own light, and in its heart, it changed. These solid things, once simple, became more complex. Heavier. There was more solid matter in space now. More lights began to appear.
The stars were being born.
The Darkness retreated further.
As I watched these lights spread their warmth increasingly farther away, I felt what can only be called joy instilled with me. My light was not alone anymore. More stars flared into existence more and more, and I danced among these new suns.
Then something wholly new happened.
A star died.
It had shined for millennia, large and bright. But the change of its heart, it grew heavy. So heavy, that the star cast off all its light in an attempt to shine one. But in this cast off, it sent out into space new heavy things, though I did not see it then. All I say was a pale light, cold and heavy. Not until he told me to look.
I never noticed him, maybe because thought of myself as by myself. Maybe we came together. Maybe we're the same. I don't know, but I knew he was different. Whereas I created, he reaped. As we looked at the pale light, I mourned but he laughed. "Why do lament for one star's death?" he asked.
"It shines no more," I replied.
"That is true, it does not shine as it once did. Just as we are not as we were once. Look. See that in its death, it did not truly die. It changed as we did."
And I looked and saw it. A new possibility had risen because of this one stars death. And I saw, what I always see, possibilities. That these mew materials, these…gases and metals. They too would come together to make new bodies in space. That elements, forces and time would work with, and against, to create something even newer. Something grand.
New lights would come in time. These new lights would be different though. Oh, they shined as bright as any star would ever shine, but these lights would be alive. These lights would have the power to create like I could. These…souls, would be the shining achievement of my creation. Yes, on worlds all across, beings would come and make their own creation as I did. It would take time, oh yes, a lot of time, but they will come.
The Darkness did not like that they would come.
In the space-time that I had created, The Darkness bent it's will to create holes to devour the light and all matter. You see, the Darkness and I never talked to each other. What was there to talk about? I liked to create, I brought light. I was going to being in more light. The Darkness is…darkness, duh. It's not of malice, rather, its apathy and its amorality was due to its very nature.
The Darkness was chaos simply put. It was everything and nothing, it was quite and loud. As I am I am, it is what it is.
But I wanted my light to shine, and I wanted to see those light shine too. Death, as the other would come to call himself in later ages, wanted to preserve the order that, I suppose, we had created. We had to fight the Darkness.
Thus came to pass, what is epically called, was the War of Creation.
And every war needed an army. I first made Michael. My eldest. My strength. My warrior.
He led his brother, Lucifer, the Light Bringer, my beloved because he was the brightest creation I ever made.
After whom I made Raphael, my healer, to support his brothers in their battles.
To which I made Gabriel, my announcer, to herald the coming days.
I, my sons and Death, waged war across all the cosmos. Whole galaxies were shattered, dimensions obliterated, stars extinguished and worlds torn asunder. All that I had created did not come unscathed. Potential worlds that could have brought light vanished under the battles, consumed whole before they were even born.
But I came out victorious.
At a cost though. Whatever order I had first created could not function with aspects of the Darkness. Black holes, entropy and chaos were now part of creation. But these forces, surprisingly, worked in balance with the order I had made. The trick was the keeping in balance part. That's what is hard.
I locked the sentience of The Darkness into a pocket dimension. It's key, a mark I gave to my beloved son. I entrusted it to him because, well, he's my son. As a rest for my archangels, I created a new place, a place of light where possibility was endless. Where I could sit and see all of creation, to watch with content the passing of time until the new lights came.
And as time passed, I created more angels, to shepherd these souls and guard creation. Some I gave the duty to write all that is. Others I created to give mercy, show love, enforce justice or to just watch. My eldest children, they took it upon themselves to raise these new angels. I watched them grow as I watched all of creation then, from afar.
That might have been a mistake.
When I saw humanity finally come into existence on my favorite garden, how a woman, had a light inside her, a soul, I jumped with joy! I watched intently as humanity grew, their souls shining bright, I convened all the angels.
"Look upon the Earth! See mankind and the pinnacle of my creation in my garden. Worship and protect them my children."
It was after that I just watched man grow in the paradise called Earth. I can't say why I feel attached to this world. There are literally thousands of worlds teeming with life across the universe. It might be because of several reasons, but it might be because the Earth was the final battleground between the Darkness and I. Perhaps it was because it is the only planet to The Darkness used to make life. Once the Leviathans were contained though, Earth was a paradise. And around the Earth, dimension walls were weak, unique in all the universe. How souls would cope here would be interesting to observe. I expected humanity to be rather unique, their capacity to effect change unknowable to even I.
What I did not expect was a rebellion.
It's hard to write about. The betrayal of my favored son. I can only blame myself, as I am sure he blames me. It might be the key, what he calls the Mark of Cain now, that influenced him. Maybe it was bound to happen without it. But Lucifer twisted the souls of man so much, they became darkness in themselves. Even mutated a Leviathan to create monsters to feed on humanity. He became intent to mar the Earth.
So another war came to pass, The War in Heaven.
I sat that one out, I watched mostly in disbelief. Michael fought Lucifer, became hardened. Raphael no longer healed but killed. And Gabriel, sweet Gabriel…he ran away. Heaven no longer felt like home with my children turned against each other. So I summoned Metatron, and asked him to write. As the war raged, and Hell came into being, I spoke of the secrets I wished to part.
I only interceded when Michael was to land a final blow to end Lucifer that I interfered. Instead of dying, Lucifer would be bound to a cage in Hell. There he would stay until the seals are broken. Seals, I thought, that could never be broken.
Boy was I wrong.
Regardless, Heaven was no longer my home. Michael made it his own, as I suppose sons are supposed to do when their parent leaves. Rather, I walked among my mortal children, taking in the impossible things they do and create. And most of all, I loved the possibility their souls have.
Theirs is the brightest light there is.
