Hi
guys!
Ok, this parody-thingy came about one Friday after school.
My school gets out at 3:30, and my dad gets off at 4. He usually
picks my brother up, and then me, since he works downtown, where our
schools are, and our schools are only, like, two blocks away.
However, he didn't come until, like 4:45. I was all alone, and it was
hot. I started singing Tango:Maureen, but, in my anger and
frustration, I ended up changing some words around.
The
basic story, is Caitlin is waiting for her dad with a nearly dead
cell. Her ex-boyfriend, Jake, is still there, and, since he can
drive, offers her a ride. (Note- Caitlin's wearing Crocs, so her her
feet are sweating like
crap.)
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The
Tango: High School
(The parking lot outside of a large high school. Caitlin is pacing nervously, clutching a nearly-dead cell phone in her hand, her dark blue crocs squeaking when she turns, and her hair pulled messily up off of her neck. Jake walks up, somewhat nervously, and clears his throat. Catilin stops pacing and looks at him)
Caitlin: (venomously) Jake...
Jake: Uh...hi.
C:
(turns
her back to him) I told you we were through.
J:
I
know, but, can I offer you a ride, since I'm here, and your dad's
not?
C:
He's
on his way...
J:
Great!
Well, I'll see ya...
C:
Wait!
(turns to look at him) He's three hours late...
J:
(Looks
at watch) 30 minutes...
C:
Whatever...
My
father's been delayed
By my brother...
J:
There's
another way…(uncomfortable with silence from her)
Say
something...
Anything.
C:
(Jumping
angrily down the steps with each word)
When. Will. He. Come!
J:
(hangs
head) Anything but...that
C:
It's
so hot
J:
It's
hot
C:
Very
hot
J:
Fuckin'
hot
C:
I'm
so mad that I don't know what to do
Fighting with Tom and
Drew
Sweating lakes in my shoes
And to top it all off...
I'm
with you
J:
Feel
like going insane
Gotta fire in your brain
And your thinking of
drinking gasoline?
C:
As
a matter of fact...
J:
Honey,
I know this act
It's called, the Tango: High School
The Tango:
High School!
It's a dark, dizzy, merry-go-round
As they keep
you dangling...
C:
You're
wrong...
J:
You're
grades they are mangling...
C:
It's
different with me...
J:
And
you toss and you turn,
'Cause the stress, it can burn;
Yet you
yearn, and you churn, and rebound...
C:
I
think I know what you mean...
Both:
The
Tango: High School!
J:
Have
you ever pouted your lips,
And begged for...one A?
C:
Oh,
yes.
J:
Have
you ever doubted a Quiz or two?
C:
This
is…spooky
Do you swoon when they hand back your grades?
J:
Every
time, so be...cautious.
C:
Do
you moon over other A's?
J:
More
than moon...
C:
I'm
getting...nauseous.
(They, strangely, begin to tango, with Jake leading)
J:
Where'd
you learn to tango?
C:
With
the dance teacher, Mr. Moore, in his classroom at break. And you?
J:
With
Mrs. King, the drama teacher after school three weeks ago. (They
switch, and Caitlin leads) It's hard to do this backwards.
C:
You
should try it in crocs! (They dance for a while, until their faces
are inches apart. Caitlin pulls away quickly)
I cheated!
J:
You
cheated?
C:
Jake,
I cheated!
J:
Fuckin'
cheated!
C:
I'm
defeated
I should give up right now.
J:
(puts
an arm around her shoulder.)
Gotta look on the bright side
With
all of your might...
C:
(breaks
away and turns to look at him, despair written all over her face)
I'd
fall for it still anyhow!
B:
When
you're dancing its dance,
You don't stand a chance
The grip of
the grade makes you fall!
J:
So
ya' think, 'Might as well...'
C:
'...Dance
a tango to Hell...'
B:
'...At
least I'll have tangoed at all.'
The Tango:High School!
Gotta
dance till your teachers are through!
You pretend to believe
them!
'Cause, till the end, you can't leave them!
But the end
it will come,
Still ya' have to play dumb,
Till you're glum,
and you bum, and turn blue!
J:
Why
do they love when we're mean?
C:
But
they can be so obscene...
J:
(hands
her a cell phone battery.)
Here, try this. (Caitlin replaces the
battery, and the phone instantly rings. She answers it.)
C:
(Into
the phone)
Daddy, I'm...pause...POOKIE! Oh, no. NEVER
call me "Pookie" again!...(looks at Jake)
Forget it. I got a ride. (hangs up)
B:
The
Tango...High School! (Walk hand-in-hand to Jake's car and
leave)
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So,
what'd ya' think? I know it was kinda random, but, it was Friday, and
hot, and I was pissed at my dad for being late.
Please review.
