Hello there! This is my first Naruto fic. I love the Akatsuki a lot so my friend Vawn and I came up with this at school one day. It's a series of weird things that can either happen to the Akatsuki or that they can do. The first one is Itachi going to the eye doctor since he is just about blind. Tell me what you think!
EDIT: As of May 28th, 2009, I'm replacing all the chapters with some brand new, freshly edited versions! I've made a few changes and hopefully it works out for the best! Of course, just about everyone is OOC. And at the time I wrote this, no one knew who Pain was, or even his name for that matter, so bare with his shadowy-ness!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, Chouji would give everyone a giant raspberry cake, including me.
The Akatsuki were all sitting at the dining table, all staring at Pain who was rubbing his temples, or so it seemed. What could you really tell from a living shadow? "That's it; I have to do something about this."
Deidara raised his hand slowly. "Uh, Pain-sama? When are you gonna tell him, un?"
"When he comes in." As soon as he said that, Itachi walked in looking tired and trying to beat the bed-head monster that had taken temporary residence on his head.
"Mornin'…"
Deidara and Kisame stifled laughs, knowing that if Itachi heard them, they would be dead within minutes, sleepy Itachi or not. Pain looked up at him and sighed. "Itachi, we've come to a decision. You have to go to the eye doctor."
Itachi blinked at them. At the moment, the Sharingan wasn't there and there were only two black eyes instead. He began walking over to the refrigerator with all of the Akatsuki watching him. "Pain-sama, I don't need to go to the eye doctor. I can see just fine." The minute he said that, he walked straight into a wall. He stumbled back and rubbed his head. "Who put a new wall in?"
Sasori stared at Itachi. "That's always been there."
"Has it?"
"Um, yeah, ever since the Akatsuki has been around…"
Pain groaned and closed his eyes. "Seriously Itachi, you need to go get your eyes checked. You're as blind as a bat! You're missing your targets all the time now!"
Itachi turned around and pointed to Pain, but Kisame noted he was looking somewhere over Pain's shoulder. "Hey, that Waterfall ninja guy was moving really fast!"
"…He was riding a giant snail. A two-year-old could have taken him out. You threw ten kunai at him and didn't hit him once."
There was an uncomfortable moment of silence before Itachi hung his head. "Alright, fine. But I bet there is absolutely nothing wrong with me."
The nearest eye doctor was in the actual Hidden River Village. Pain, Kisame, and Sasori went with Itachi in disguises. No one could recognize them at all. They walked in to the waiting room and Itachi signed in, then sat down. He had to hide the Sharingan because the Kami knows he couldn't see without it. The doctor finally came in. "Yamato Umure?"
Itachi stood up and Kisame looked at him oddly. He only shrugged. "Very distant relation. Like, barely. Okay, he was a victim, so don't say anything…"
Sasori blinked several times. "Like we would…"
Several moments later, Itachi sat in the examination chair and the doctor looked into both eyes with a flashlight. He made a few 'mmm' noises before turning it off. Itachi blinked at him. The doctor then pointed at the seeing chart. "What's on the sixth line?"
"Uhhh…" Itachi squinted in vain of seeing it. He blinked and tried again. "V, 7, B, Q, L…P?"
Sasori looked over to Pain with wide eyes and mouthed the word 'Seven?' with a shocked expression. Pain just shook his head. He looked over to the doctor who wrote something on a clipboard and pointed to the chart again. "Third line."
"L, N, W, 6, K, 5, X?"
Kisame buried his face in his hands in agony and Itachi could tell by the grunt of mental pain that he had gotten them wrong…again. He sighed and the doctor pointed to the chart one last time. "What's the letter on the top line?"
There was an extremely uncomfortable silence and the tension grew thicker than the Samehada. The other three Akatsuki stared at Itachi and in turn, Itachi bit his lip. If he got this wrong, he would be admitting defeat. All of the things he had worked for in life came to this moment. He could NOT fail!
"…B?"
Needless to say, by the time the appointment was over, Kisame needed a defibrillator and Sasori had to reattach his head. Pain had almost murdered Itachi right then and there. Itachi, on the other hand, was quite happy when the doctor announced that there was a solution. The happiness faded when the doctor said he would have to get one thing he dread…glasses.
Two Weeks Later
"So, let me see them, un." Deidara looked up at Itachi, Kisame, and Pain who had come back from another eye doctor appointment to get Itachi's glasses, which he only had to use when he wasn't using the Sharingan.
Itachi shamefully reached into a bag and opened a black glasses holder and lowered his head as he put his glasses on. He very slowly brought his head up…
This time, Deidara could not hold back his laughter. Itachi looked like the biggest nerd ever to fall into existence. The glasses were square and very thick since his vision was so bad.
Instantly, Itachi shoved the glasses back into the bag and ran to his room (he hit the door on accident). Pain looked over at Kisame who had his hand over his mouth and was snorting in laughter. "Do you think we should tell him he can get contacts?"
"Nah, we can wait."
