Invocation University


Gaarin: -drinking blueberry vanilla mango coconut smoothie- ...
Mizuhara: Ahem.
Gaarin: What?
Mizuhara: What is this story? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING ON GLITTER, or maybe even Tears!
Gaarin: Che. Hypocrite.
Mizuhara: ... Touché.
Gaarin: Okay, so I was just thinking. There are too many high school Yullen fics. And too many teacher-student Lucky fics (although not enough Lucky fics in general ^^). So, anyway. To graduation, I wore this shirt thing, and the brand name was Mikk. And it was a fancy black shirt with lace.
Mizuhara: And?
Gaarin: So I was thinking, what would life be like for our Exorcists in university? -sips- Well, I've found jobs for all of them. Hopefully, you'll find this fic to be quite enjoyable, as well as cool? Maybe? Meh. Whatevs.
Mizuhara: Are there sedatives in that drink? You're acting almost... normal!
Gaarin: ... So anyway. Yeah. Enjoy this AU fic. Includes yaoi, swearing, and probably a fair bit of out-of-characterness.
Mizuhara: Neither of us owns D. Gay- Man, even though Gaarin's acting cool for some reason.
Gaarin: ... ... ... -sips- Enjoi, belov'ds. I'll update your perverted story soon enough, children.
Mizuhara: Are there sedatives in there?
Gaarin: No, but I made it... and it tastes good.
Mizuhara: Drugs?
Gaarin: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Allen logged into his computer hurriedly, entering his email chat. To his delight, quite a few of his contacts were on.
He typed into the chat box.

Walker_14: Hey, is anyone out there?

There were several immediate replies from his friends.

Lenagirl: Hey, Allen! What's up?
Hammerhead_Student: Yo, Brit!
Rocketeer: Hello, Allen!
Sensei: Oi, Moyashi.

Allen smiled, rolled his eyes, and replied.

Walker_14: My name is Allen, arsehole!
Sensei: Whatever, beansprout.

Allen smiled. Sensei, or his real name, Yuu Kanda, was a close friend of Allen's, although neither would ever admit it. The Japanese art student was bitter to the world, and only slightly less so to his friends. Kanda had some weird talents, like making a long blue ponytail look normal on a guy and his intensely dangerous sword-fighting skills. Allen and Kanda had met while Allen was researching for a story about a man who'd stabbed himself in order to paint a picture with his own blood. After all, Allen was a mystery writer. Kanda had been *unimpressed* cough cough- with the boy's bravery, and had sat with the boy every lunch after that.
Lenalee Lee (Lenagirl) was another close friend of Allen's. She practiced and taught karate at her brother's fighting dojo, "Lee Martial Arts." She looked surprisingly fragile and delicate for a three-time women's world karate championship winner, and her overprotective brother, Komui Lee (Rocketeer), was... well... madly overprotective. One of Allen's pen pals, Bak Chan, from China, had a huge crush on Lenalee. But Komui had never let anyone near 'his' Lenalee, and he wasn't about to start.
Komui was a science teacher at Invocation University, where Lavi, Allen, Kanda, and Lenalee all went. They were all studying different subjects (History, English, Art, Physiology) but they were still all good friends.

Rocketeer: Hey, Lavi, so I heard you got another photo shoot with Dark Ark Fashions?
Hammerhead_Student: Yup! *thumbs*
Hammerhead_Student: I get to wear another of Mikk's designs!
Hammerhead_Student: Aa... Maybe he'll include lace... -blush-

Allen giggled before typing a reply. Lavi Bookman was studying for a degree in History, but he had the most amazing part-time-job ever- magazine model. Sometimes, Allen envied his friend for his job. And the fashion designer, Tyki Mikk, was an artist with a sewing machine instead of paintbrushes.

Walker_14: Yeah, Mr. Mikk's designs are pretty!
Lenagirl: I agree.
Sensei: ... I don't like the guy.
Allen nodded, and continued type-chatting.
Walker_14: I know what you mean. Well, he does work for the Dark Ark... They've got some really shady business deals...
Hammerhead_Student: ... ... ... Brit, was that a pun?
Walker_14: So what if it was?
Hammerhead_Student: That was just unexpected, coming from you.
Walker_14: D: MEANIE. I HAVE A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR.

There was a long pause in the chats.

Lenagirl: *cricket, cricket*
Rocketeer: I know what you meant, Allen. The Ark does have underground dealings with all sorts of criminals. Their boss, M. Earl, is like a corporate wizard.
Lenagirl: An evil corporate sorceror named VoldeM. Earl!
Hammerhead_Student: xD
Walker_14: YOU'RE ALL ANNOYING.
Sensei: You're one to talk, fucking baka moyashi with your fucking baka moyashi martyr complex.
Rocketeer: Okay, Lenalee, let's go. It's about time you went to bed! What is it, one?
Lenagirl: Not now! Kanda's talking about fucking his Moyashi!
Rocketeer: OKAY, THAT IS IT! YOU'RE DEAD, YAOI FANGIRL! Farewell!
Rocketeer signed out.
Lenagirl: *huff* Bye guys. Gtg.
Lenagirl signed out.

Allen chose to ignore Lenalee's comment about him and Kanda. The yaoi fangirl had been trying to set him and Kanda up ever since he'd met the grouch. Sadly, it had partially worked. Allen was gay (pre-Lenalee, he'd been gay before too), and did have feelings for Kanda, but he was sure Kanda didn't return them, and friendship was better than rejection.

Walker_14: What do you mean, my martyr complex?
Sensei: Remember that time you saw a fucking squirrel in traffic, and ran to go save its sorry ass, and I had to pick you up and run you out of the way of that semi?

Allen remembered that.

Walker_14: No, I don't remember that. I think you're imagining things about me... Dreaming about me?
Timekeeper signed in.

Allen shuddered. Oh great, Miranda's here.
Miranda Lotto was a freshman to Invocation U, as was Allen. She had been a close friend to Allen all throughout high school. The girl's problem- well, there were two. She was the most sensitive person Allen knew. Just one mean word, and she'd break into tears. The second problem was that she loved clocks. Like, adored them. Like, was infatuated with them. Like, would marry them if only she could. She had signed up for Business, so that she could open a small clock store.
Please don't say anything mean, BaKanda... She's like a delicate leaf...

Sensei: I SWEAR TO MOTHERFUCKING GOD I WILL KILL YOU!
Timekeeper: !
Timekeeper: I'm so sorry for interrupting- please don't kill me!
Timekeeper signed out.

Allen sighed.

Walker_14: Now look what you did, Yuu!
Sensei: Don't call me that, moyashi!
Walker_14: WELL THEN DON'T CALL ME MOYASHI!
Hammerhead_Student: Okay, you two! Stfu! You're acting like an old married couple!

There was another long pause in the conversation.

Hammerhead_Student: Well, I've got to get some beauty sleep. Want to look my best for Tyki!
Sensei: ... What did you just say?
Hammerhead_Student: Ano, I mean want to look my best for Tyki's outfit! KTHXBAI!
Hammerhead_Student signed out.
Walker_14: Ok, well, ano... Um... Bye, Kanda!

Allen moved his cursor over the "Log Out" hyperlink when Kanda replied.

Sensei: Wait, Allen!
Walker_14: EH? Did you just-
Sensei signed out.

Allen said in a surprised voice, "He called me... by my name..."
Allen shut his computer, and lay in bed, looking at the ceiling.
"Maybe... he does care..."


Lavi leaned back.
Shit! Why had he said that? Now Allen and Kanda would know that he liked Tyki...
It wasn't his fault! After he had seen the Portuguese man the first time, he'd thought he was sexy, but that was all. Once he'd wore the man's pants, he was head over heels in love.
The only problem was that Tyki was from the Dark Ark. Invocation University had actually banned wearing of clothes from said clothesline, for some reason. Lavi had a hunch that Malcolm Leverrier, the university's head, had a grudge against the mysterious man M. Earl.
Also, Lavi wasn't sure Tyki returned his feelings. So he waited patiently for things to happen, like a good historian.
Lavi fell asleep slowly, and the instant he lost consciousness, the window silently opened.
A dark hand caressed the side of his face, whilst golden eyes gazed down wistfully upon what they couldn't claim.
Suddenly Lavi twitched in his sleep, and with a swift movement Lavi's crush disappeared.


Kanda sighed.
Damn that mother-fucking Moyashi. DAMN HIM TO HELL.
Why had that annoying beansprout, out of the 6825899999 other people on Earth, why had he picked Kanda?
It was obvious Allen liked him in *that* way. Really, you drop enough hints, even a complete idiot figures it out sooner or later. But why? That was what was plaguing Kanda. Why had the Beansprout fallen for him? Why not Lavi? Why not Lenalee? Why him? Why had Allen chosen him?
And why couldn't he tell Allen his feelings?
Kanda cursed his inability to communicate with members of the same species. Maybe he should just get some crack doctor named Mr. Aburame to implant bugs into his body so that he can have at least one friend.
Kanda replayed that last sentence, and then shook his head. "I must be going insane... I need sleep."


"Ahem -taptap- TRUMPETS AT THE READY!"
The orchestra conductor waved his hands, and Kanda groaned, and leant against the doorframe, waiting for the faggot band to get the fuck out of his way.
"Welcome (Welcome!) to Invocation U, where we hope we can make all your little dreams come true! Welcome (welCOME!) to our quaint academy, we hope that this will soon be the best university! Welcome- (welcome...) to Invocation University To-DAIII!"
Just another ordinary day, thought Kanda bitterly, in hell.
Kanda shoved a young tenor away. "Fucking school choir..."
Suddenly, he felt a light touch on his arm. "Let that tenor alone!"
Kanda muttered angrily, "Oh yeah? Well about I take this sword and stick it up your- Oi, it's just you, Moyashi."
Allen apologized more than necessary to the young singer. Kanda sighed as they walked away. "Ch. Why are you so nice to fucking little freshmen?"
Allen laughed, the amusement ringing as clearly as bells out into the frosty autumn air. "Jealous?"
Kanda glared at nothing in particular. "Fuck no."
"AND THEN SUDDENLY A GIANT SMEXY REDHEAD PIRATE RABBIT JUMPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND RUINED THE ROMANTIC MOMENT BETWEEN THE TWO YOUNG LOVERS!"
Lavi grabbed Allen's hand, kissed it, and dodged a punch from Kanda.
Allen blushed. He withdrew his hand immediately. "We're not lovers! And it's not romantic to fight with someone."
Kanda drew his fencing blade that he had affectionately dubbed Mugen. "FUCKING BAKA USAGI! WE'RE NOT LOVERS! AND I'M FUCKING OLDER THAN YOU!
The rabbit chuckled. "Did I strike a nerve, Yuu-chan?"
Kanda was emitting a murderous aura (more so than usual?) and he said in a low voice, "Don't... call... me... YUU!"
Lavi brightened. "So I can call you -chan, then?" He skipped off happily, followed by a raging Kanda. Allen sweatdropped as his friends walked off.
Suddenly, he felt a cool touch on his shoulder. He jumped, and whipped around.
Tyki Mikk, the famous fashion designer, tipped his top hat. "Good day, Allen Walker."
Allen said slowly, "How-how do you know my name? And how did you get in?"
Tyki laughed. "No matter of yours. Do you know where Coelho-chan might be?"
Allen did not converse fluently in Portuguese.
"Eh?"
"Ano... Your rabbit friend. I wanted a word."
Allen smiled. Of course Mr. Mikk was looking for Lavi, the model. "Right that way, being chased by Yuu Kanda."
As if on cue, an insane scream of happy-go-luckiness, "You can't catch me, gaaaaylord!", rang out across the courtyard.
Allen sweatdropped, but Tyki merely shrugged it off and said, "Thank you, shounen," brushing past Allen.
Allen said, "Shounen?"
The retreating back of Tyki offered no explanation.


Lavi dodged another fatal stab. "Haha, you'll never get me- shit!" He was scratched gently by Mugen as a distraction entered his field of view.
"Tyki Mikk? What are you doing here?"
Kanda glared at Lavi, and gave up on his murderous mode. "Yeah, scoundrel, what's up?"
Tyki smirked. "I prefer vagabond. Lavi Bookman, I presume?"
Lavi nodded uncertainly. "Yes..." He had walked by the fashion designer once or twice, but Lavi really felt like he knew this man because he posed in themed pictures with Tyki's fashions everyday.
Grinning, Tyki continued. "Yes, well, you're coming with me. We're going to a photo shoot."
Lavi said mournfully, "But I have classes..."
Tyki pulled a card out of his jacket pocket. It was the Ace of Spades. He also retrieved a pen, and began to write quickly. When he was done, he flicked the card lazily at Lavi, who snatched it and read it.

Dear M. Leverrier:
Lavi Bookman will be unable to attend
classes today due to a sore ankle obtained
during soccer. Please excuse him for his injury.
Cordially signed,

J.H.

Dr. James House

Lavi laughed. "No way! Thanks Mr. Mikk!"
Tyki took off his top hat and run his hand through his gorgeous, silky, bishounen hair. "Please, call me Tyki."
Lavi blushed, and Kanda could swear that Tyki just smirked. "O-okay..."
Lavi gave the note to Kanda, who che-ed but went back to Allen.
Tyki said, "All right, c'mon, rabbit. Let's go."
Lavi replied eagerly, "Ok!" and then stopped.
"Wait... Tyki, did you just write down the name of a gay television show coupling on my doctor's note? House and... Wilson?"
Tyki smirked, and continued walking towards a fancy black sedan, forcing Lavi to stumble beside him, dangling from the attractive older man's elbow, as somehow Tyki had linked their arms. "What of it?"
Lavi shrugged. "I don't know. It just never occurred to me. I guess House/Wilson could work..."
And so Lavi spent the rest of the ride there discussing gay television couplings with his older crush while he skipped school to go model.
Yup.
Just another ordinary day.


"And Bodge?"
"Eh?"
"Booth/Hodgins?"
"... Honestly, bunny?"
Lavi pouted, puffing out his cheeks. He was in the front seat of Tyki's car, which initially he had been very respectful of, but now, his feet were up on the dash and his hands were behind his head as he chattered away.
Tyki smiled. Lavi was cute when he was indignantly annoyed.
"Well, yeah! I mean, Hodgins is so... Hodgins! And Booth is... They fit!"
Tyki took one hand off the custom-tailored wheel, and casually stretched around Lavi's shoulders, which gave Lavi a strong flush immediately. Tyki did not remove his hand, however, but continued on with the conversation.
"Personally, I always liked Zadgins."
"Za... Oh! Zach and Hodgins? Yeah, me too! They're so cute together, ne?"
Tyki smiled, and continued driving with one hand, only retrieving his arm when he was parking in his reserved spot.
"So then, rabbit, I can assume from all of this that you bend... that way?"
Lavi shrugged. "I could ask you the same."
"Touché."
Tyki got out of the car, and went around and opened the door for Lavi. Lavi stepped out of the car, and blushing, took Tyki's hand.
Tyki was immediately glomped by a young girl. "Tyki-pon, who's this? He's cute! I want!"
Lavi recoiled for two reasons.
One: Was this indigo-haired little lollipop girl Tyki's daughter?
Two: Had she just said she wanted Lavi?
Tyki laughed, and squeezed Lavi's hand. He pulled the terrified bunny in close. "No, Road. Behave. Lavi, this is my niece, Road Kamelot. She works in the goth/loli clothes designing part. I believe it was her who designed one of the punk leather outfits for last... July? July. For last July's magazine cover for... some random generic loli mag. Anyway. She's very good at her job, but is moderately possessive of her... dolls."
Road twinkled at Lavi from over Tyki's shoulders. "Do you want to be my doll, La~vi?"
Tyki pulled the student into a close hug, and said, "Sorry, Road. Find your own doll." Road jumped off reluctantly, and skipped off, swinging her weird creepy broken-record pumpkin/parasol/cane/thing that kept repeating drearily, "Leeero... Lero-lero-lero-leeero... Leeero... Lero-lero-lero..."
Lavi's skin tingled, as he understood the insinuation Tyki had made perfectly.
This one's mine.


Gaarin: Love it? Hate it? Say what you want about it... Review it!
Mizuhara: Happy sappy Gaarin's back, I presume?
Gaarin: Ch'yeah! I HAVE A STUFFED USAGI!
Tyki and Honey: YAYY!
Lavi: ...wtf.
Gaarin: Yeah, so vote for me! Oh yeah, and references in this were made to:
Harry Potter (Voldemort! Yayy!)
Naruto (LOL, Shino xDD)
D. Gray- Man Abridged (by TehExorcist on YouTube, fucking hilolrious!)
House, M.D. (A very good show, go watch it now!)
Bones (Another great show! Sorry for scarring your minds with Zadgins, I think it's cute but personal preferences right?)
Mizuhara: ... ... ...