Back Together Again!

Darkness lay over the cemetery like a black cloak. Most of the people would be afraid to wander through the graveyard by night, but not these girls…

Buffy and Willow were on patrol in Rome. Since that awful day when Sunnydale was levelled to the ground, Buffy didn't want to patrol alone…and truth to be told, none of the others would let her do that anymore.

Her grief for the peroxide blonde vampire was so strong that they feared that she didn't even notice the vampires anymore, as she should. Buffy had hardly said a word in the last few months. After patrol, she shut herself away in her room.

Willow knew how she felt…She had felt it herself when Tara died, almost two years ago.

It was a slow night and no vampires had turned up. Willow thought that this would be a good chance to talk to Buffy - so she drew in a deep breath…and then found that she didn't know what to say.

Buffy recognized the process and looked at her. "Is there something you want to talk about Will?"

The redhead looked at her best friend, took another deep breath, and smiled. "Yeah…I want you to know…that whenever you want to talk about Spike…I will be there for you! The others didn't notice that he meant that much to you...oh, Buffy, I'm sure Xander would never understand it…or Giles…"

Buffy laughed a little. "Will…you're babbling!"

Willow grinned. "I was…wasn't I?"

The blonde woman nodded and looked down at her feet as she walked along slowly. There it was again, Willow thought, even though she wasn't aware of it…her mournful face and the deep sadness in her eyes

"Look, Buffy, there's a bench…do you mind if we sit down for a bit?" Willow asked and made her way over to the bench that stood in a dark corner of the cemetery.

Both women sat down, and silence hung over their heads like a transparent curtain.

"It hurts so badly, Will!" Buffy said after a while. "I shouldn't say that…but it didn't hurt this much when my mother died." Tears gleamed in her eyes as she looked at Willow.

"I'm still afraid that none of you can understand what I felt for him…how he always tried to cheer me up when I was down…how he made me angry with all his snappy comments…Oh, Willow, he could make me livid in an instant...and I loved him."

Buffy looked up to the sky. "I think the worst thing is, that when I start to talk about him…I really realize that he is gone forever…that he's never coming back. That I would give everything to be with him."

Willow's head snapped up. "You mean you would kill yourself if you knew that it would take you to him?"

Tears were running down Buffy's face as she nodded. "I don't want to live here anymore…without him…don't get me wrong…I love you guys, but I feel so alone without him…as if somebody ripped my heart out …do you know what I mean?"

Willow wrapped her arms around Buffy's shoulders. Buffy cried hard at that…and Willow tried everything she knew of to soothe her. "I know what you mean…but do you really think that this is the only thing to stop this pain…it's not, I promise...believe me, I know what you're going through."

Neither woman knew how long they sat there on the cemetery bench, holding each other.

A few days later Buffy and Willow sat in a tiny café. Neither of them said something to the other Scoobies about the night at the cemetery. It was their own little secret. Buffy had to admit that she needed to talk about Spike and her feelings for him…otherwise she would break down.

She never talked about her real feelings - those she still hid inside. She still wanted to die…she still wanted to be with Spike for eternity.

"So", Willow asked after she took a sip from her Cappuccino, "When did you realize that you loved him?"

"I really don't know…I think I loved him the entire time. But I never wanted to admit it." Buffy poked at her iced coffee with her straw.

Willow nodded and gave her a sign that she should go on talking.

Buffy pushed the glass onto the table and leaned back in her chair. "I think it all started with your "Thy Will Be Done" spell, a couple of years ago. After that I always thought about his kisses, about how good his body felt under my fingers."

Willow choked on another sip of her hot drink. "I thought the "Forgetting Spell" I performed right after that day worked?"

"I thought that, too. But every time I saw him after that I remembered everything…I think that had to be a sign…but I ignored it, because I didn't want to fall for another vampire. I thought that he would leave me like Angel."

"I doubt that, Buffy. He would never have left you like Angel did!" Willow replied.

"No!" Buffy snapped. "He preferred to burn himself right before my eyes, instead!"

"But he did it for you, Buffy! He did it so you could live on and be there for your sister and friends." Willow grabbed Buffy's hand. "…he died for you, Sweetie!"

Tears ran down Buffy's cheeks as she looked at Willow's anxious face. "But I want to be with him!"

"I know that, sweetie! I do! But you have to move on!"

Buffy closed her eyes for a moment. "I have to be alone for a moment …please doesn't follow me…I promise you I'll behave myself."

Willow nodded and looked after her as Buffy disappeared into a side street.

Later that day Willow became really nervous, because Buffy hadn't come home yet and she wasn't answering her cell phone. She called Giles in London and told him that Buffy was missing, but he only said that she must have needed some time alone, and that she would be back.

*Sure*…Willow thought. *but he doesn't know that she would kill herself to be with Spike…wherever he is*

A knock on the front door pulled her out of her sad thought. She opened the door, and before her stood an Italian police officer. "Are you Miss Willow Rosenberg?"

As the redhead nodded he continued. "We know that you and a….Miss….Dawn Summers, are the contact persons of Miss Buffy Summers, if anything happen to her…is that right?"

Again the redhead nodded.

"I'm sorry, but I have to tell you that she was hit by a car."

"Is….she?"

"No…she's alive…but the doctors don't know if she will survive the night."

"Thank you, officer!", Willow said and turned around to grab her light jacket. "I have to get Dawn." She babbled aloud…and the officer cleared his throat, interrupting her. "I can take you to the hospital if you want?"

Willow turned around and gave him a grateful smile. "That would be nice."

They stopped at the apartment building where Buffy and Dawn lived.

Dawn was devastated, as Willow told her about the accident…she had already lost her mother and one of her best friends…she don't want to lose her sister as well.

Half an hour later they both sat at Buffy's hospital bed and cried. She was awake, but she was in intense pain, despite the drugs. She tried to talk, but Willow told her not to.

"Please, Will!" she gasped. "I want you to look after Dawn when I´m gone…!"

"NO!", Dawn cried. "You'll be okay…Please Willow, tell her that she will be okay!"

Buffy turned her head to look at her sister. "Dawnie…you know it would be a lie if she told me that!"

"But…but you have Slayerhealing…you will be okay in a couple of days…right?" Dawn asked hopeful.

Buffy closed her eyes as sharp pain shot through her body.

"Dawn?" Willow asked softly. "Would you leave me and Buffy alone for a minute?"

The darkhaired girl nodded and left the room with tears running down her face.

"Can I do anything for you, Buffy?"

Buffy shook her head…"Just let me die…please!"

Willow nodded and moved her chair closer to the bed. "I'll stay with you till the end…like I promised you!"

A tiny smile appeared on Buffy's face and she closed her eyes.

After a while Dawn came back and Willow left the room for a moment. She knew that this would be the last time that the sisters would see each other.

"I will miss you, Buffy!" Dawn whispered as she laid her head on the bed beside Buffy's.

Buffy tried to raise one of her hands…but she couldn´t…too many bones were broken…and it hurt like hell. "I know Dawnie…I will miss you, too!"

Dawn lifted her head and looked at Buffy. "Would you promise me one thing?"

"Everything!" Buffy replied. "Anything!"

"When you see Mom and Spike…would you give them a hug from me…and tell them that I love them."

"Sure...oh, sure, I'll do that, sweetie. I love you, Dawnie."

Dawn laid her head back and they both closed their eyes. Within minutes both sisters seemed to have fallen into a deep sleep...but only one of them would wake.

TBC…..