The Fearful Fearless

A/N: This is for Mitzvahmelting (on Tumblr). I am their back up Secret Santa for the SuperBat Secret Santa.

Mitzvah, I'm sorry I'm such a terrible backup Santa because you've been waiting so long for your gift. I somehow got so much busier at work a few days after I volunteered to be a backup for someone.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story nonetheless. :)

Prompt: "in which bruce has a panic attack, and clark helps him through it and comforts him. or clark provides cover so bruce can get out of whatever situation he was in when the panic struck? the panic attack could be triggered by fear gas or something, but brownie points if it's just part of bruce being neuroatypical, and if he has prescriptions to help with it."

As a side note, I based Bruce's panic attack on how mine are. I know panic attacks are different for everybody but mine are just the easiest to reference from.

Enjoy!

Batman is supposed to be fearless, brave, a force to be reckoned with. He isn't supposed to be someone who hides in a dark alley, back pressed firmly against a brick wall, trying to breathe as he feels like he is being suffocated. Batman isn't supposed to have his heart beat a mile a minute with the panic rising in his chest, hands clenched tightly by his side as he tries to quell his shaking. The sweat on his body drips down his skin, soaking into the under material of the Bat suit, his body flushing with the sense of anxiety.

He's panicking, Bruce knows. It's not the first time this has happened to him and it certainly won't be the last, he's sure. But it's never happened when he's on the battlefield, not when there wasn't another trigger for it like fear gas. He's normally in the safety of his own home or at a Gala that he can escape from if he feels the anxiety rising too quickly to control. But right now, when the Justice League needs him at his top performance, the attack has struck and he can't seem to stop it.

He can't stop the way his breathing comes in gulps, hyperventilating loudly in his dark corner. He can't stop his limbs from quaking uncontrollably, threatening the make him lose his balance as his legs struggle to hold his weight. He can't stop the tears that are starting to pool at the edges of his eyes, blurring his vision. Bruce tries to take steady breathes but fails miserably, his heart beating more and more wildly in his heart. He can hear, through the pounding in his ears, the fight that is taking place out in the open, where he is needed.

"Bruce?" Bruce hears Clark's voice through the com-link in his ear. He tries to reach up to it, to open the channel but his arm feels heavy, as if weights are strung to it, holding it down. The self-loathing builds in his gut, the self-hatred at his inability to get it together, to be there for his teammates. "Bruce?"

Bruce bites his bottom lip, tastes the distinct metallic of blood as his lip splits open. He bites harder, trying to stop his body's response. He's done this a million times, fought in a tough battle, a battle where there are so many lives on the line. He shouldn't be reacting like this, he shouldn't be so scared. Damn his body for betraying him at such an important time.

"Bruce?" This time the voice is closer and when Bruce opens his eyes — he hadn't even realized he had closed them — Clark is standing there in front of him. Clark's hands come up to Bruce's face, cupping at his cheeks and forcing him to look at the Kryptonian. "Hey," Clark's thumb rubs at Bruce's exposed jaw. "You're okay. Nothing is going to hurt you." Clark nods reassuringly and Bruce tries to focus on the man's voice instead of his own heart. "Do you want to leave?"

Bruce's eyes dart to the entrance to the alley, where he can still hear the battle waging on. He hears Wonder Woman's yell of attack and sees the glow of Green Lantern's projections. His eyes flit back to Clark, who is only looking at him, patient in waiting for his answer. Bruce shakes his head. He can't leave, he needs to stay and fight, he can't abandon his team. Bruce would never forgive himself if he did.

He swallows and watches as Clark nods again in confirmation. Clark's hands are a steady pressure on the sides of his face, a presence Bruce welcomes for its grounding techniques. "Okay," Clark continues, making sure Bruce's attention is focused. "I want you to try and breathe calmly, okay?" Bruce nods. "Breathe in for two then out for two. Do it with me."

Clark begins counting out loud and Bruce closes his eyes again, focusing on trying to control his breaths. He listens to the Kryptonian, feels those steady hands on his face, and begins to force himself to breathe with Clark's counting. Eventually, Clark raises the number, counting in for four and then out for four. Bruce's lips, as his breathing slows and becomes more controlled, starts to tremble, the tears pooling in his eyes even more and spilling over the edge. A whine escapes his tight throat and the dams holding back the moisture cracks and breaks, letting the tears flow freely now.

Clark helps him to the ground when his legs give out under him, his whole body still shaking uncontrollably. Clark crouches in front of him, watching him carefully. Bruce's breathing is now calm, composed, but it's not long before his sobs turn into hiccups. Clark's thumb is still rubbing at his jaw. "Hey, remember that time we went to Tibet?" Bruce doesn't verbally answer the Kryptonian, he can't. There's a lump lodged in his throat that prevents him from doing so. Clark smiles at him. "Remember how you pitched a fit about me flying you there?"

Bruce swallows thickly, takes a deep breath, and nods again. "You…" he clears his throat, blinking and more tears fall. "You whisked me away without notice. What did you expect?"

Clark chuckles, moves those strong hands to Bruce's shoulders. "You had fun in Tibet though. We visited all the temples you trained at and I got to meet all of your Monk friends."

Bruce laughs, small and weak. "You were impressed by them."

"They were very nice people. I enjoyed talking to them and learning about their culture," Clark responds, moving to hold onto Bruce's hands.

Bruce blinks a few more times and notices that he has stopped crying. With a deep breath, his heart starts to slow its rapid beating and the shaking has stopped. His body is still drenched in sweat, the Bat suit feeling tight and constricting, but it's not something Bruce can't deal with. He smiles at Clark, squeezing at the Kryptonian's hand in thanks for the help, for the distraction from his anxiety. "They are wonderful people. They taught me a lot."

"Superman, Batman," Wonder Woman's voice comes from their com-links. "The enemy has been subdued. We are taking him into custody. Are you two all right?"

Clark reaches up and presses at the com-link, opening the line. "We're fine Diana. Thanks."

"We'll clean everything up, Supes," Barry says. "Leave it to us."

Clark's hand lowers, grabbing Bruce's hand that had been abandoned earlier. "Do you want to go home?" Bruce looks around, guilt forming in his chest for bailing on the fight prematurely. "Hey." Bruce looks at Clark. "It's not your fault. It's okay."

Bruce, staring at Clark, leans forward and buries his face in the Kryptonian's shoulder. Clark's arms wrap around him tightly, comforting. Bruce sighs, feeling exhausted. "Home sounds good," he says, his words muffled from Clark's body.

He feels a light peck of a kiss placed on the top of his head before feeling his body lifting. "Home it is. We can take a bath." Bruce hums in agreement, contentment starting to ebb its way into his fatigued body. "I have this awesome story to tell you about something Conner did. I bet you'll find it funny." Clark chuckles, short and full of humor. "I'll tell you while I give you a massage."

Clark continues rambling as they fly home, Bruce leaning against the Kryptonian with his eyes shut and listening quietly. He's grateful for Clark's willingness to distract him. Though the panic attack has been conquered for now, both Clark and Bruce know that his anxiety is still pumping through his veins and a distraction is what he needs right now. So, Bruce is content to listen to all the stories Clark might have to tell him and fall asleep to that soothing, deep voice he loves so much.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Mitzvah, I really hope you enjoyed this!