So I told my friend that we should write fanfic and he said "no, I have work" but then I was like "are you on reddit rn? What mcfrickin work?" and thus this was born

So like in the Avengers tower, Iron man wakes up for a cold glass of water. As he walks into the kitchen, he hears flesh slapping. Bruce Banner's moans and Black Widow going "woo! Woo!"

Iron Man, thinking, my man Bruce is getting it!, approaches the door. He opens it, only to come face to face with Bruces' BUTT ASS NEKKED BUT, which was quite nekked.

With his iron launcher, Iron man shoots an iron tack into Bruck Banner's butt.

Bruce, thinking it's a bee, says "No BEES IN MY HOUSE!"

He turns into the Hulk, effectively ripping Black Widow in two, and killing her.

The Hulk swirls around with Black Widow's ragdoll body flappin in the wind. Tony, his untold admiration for Shrek shining through, sees Hulk's green (and red from the blood) hue and immediately pops an iron boner.

Iron Man presses a button on his watch, his clothes dropping to the ground.

Hawkeye, a well known Cuck, had been watching Bruce and Natasha from the closet. After seeing her death, Hawkeye sends an arrow toward Iron Man's THROBBING ERECTION, but since the majority of his blood was in his (Hawkeye's) boner, the arrow went astray. It flew through the wall and into Captain America's room.

Steve, who had been mid-jerk sesh over the American Flag, stopped when the arrow pierced him right in the asshole.

Both Hulk and Tony and Hawkeye were impressed to see Captain America's dick four times the length of his body, scraping against the roof tiles.

Captain America stood up, his dick slapping the ground, shaking the entire Avenger's tower. The whole building surged with electricity, and everyone knew Thor was awake.

Thor bust through the floor, cock sparking.

Tony yells, "Avengers, assemble!" and they all jump on his mechanical cock.

Luckily, Iron Man and Steve have already been hooking up, and Steve has an iron buttplug that has rockets on it.

They then move to Steve's star spangled cock without preamble.

He presses the button to turn it on, and they all start flying on Steve's dick.

They are flying above New York City, and Thor says "My spidey sense tells me that my bro Loki is acting up. Lets go fuck him up, literally."

All of them, using their special cocks, fly to Loki. Captain America's cock goes straight through Loki's chest, killing him.

And then they all have sex, including Black widow and Loki's corpses.

The end. Merry C hristmas. Stay safe kids. God bless.