Camp Griffin Holiday special
As always, I don't own the characters or places, except the ones I create, Blah, blah, blah.
It was a cold, windy & rainy day at Camp Griffin. It was the type of day, just to stay indoors. It was November alright. The holidays was coming up, as it was evidenced as Homer brought in a mailbag full of salepapers from Macy's, K-mart, JcPenney's & other stores. "Whew! Damn, this bag's heavy!" he said as he lugged in the overweighted mailbag into Peter's office. Peter was at his desk. He was actually doing some work, and not goofing around. "Hmm?" he muttered as he chewed on the pen. "What should my thanksgiving plans be?" Homer noticed this. "So, you got thinkin' problems, eh?" "Yep." Peter muttered. "Thinkin's one hell of a drug." "Have you tried spinnin' on your head?" Homer asked. Peter thought about what Homer said. "I tried that one time. I-It didn't go well."
(Flashback)
Peter was sitting at his desk at the brewery. He was bored.
Peter: Man, I'm so bored. So bored. So bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored. Bored!
Then he spins a toy top, that just happened to be on the table.
Peter: I know what to do! I can spin that top, that just happened to be there!
He picks up the top & spins it. He laughs at it.
Peter: Hee!Hee!Hee! That's looks so neat!
Then he had an idea.
Peter: I KNOW, WHAT I CAN DO!!!!!!!!
He then gets on the floor & starts spinning on his head. He knocks anything, that was in the way. Then he stands up.
Peter:(eyes spinning in his head) Oh man! That was fun! Maybe, I should spin some more!!
He then gets on the floor, & starts spinning some more & more. It then cutsaway to Peter in a jailcell.
Peter: Well, looks like I have some time on my hands now. Might as well, enjoy it.
He sits on his jailbed. Then his cellmate sat right next to him & puts his hand on his shoulder.
Cellmate: Can I give you a massage?
Peter: No thanks.
Cellmate: How 'bout a date?
Peter: What?
Cellmate: How 'bout we go out on a date?
Peter then looks straight at the camera.
Peter: Uh oh! Spaghetti-o's.
audience:(laughs)
(End Flashback)
"And that day started so perfect too." Peter muttered sadily. Then he recovered. "So, uh, what's that you got?" he asked Homer. "It's one of two of today's mail." Homer said as he put the bag on Peter's desk. "Looks like, we got salepapers from those stores again." Peter said. "Yep. It's that time of year again. Everyone's go shopping & eat turkey." "Oooh! Turkey!" Homer exclaimed. "Aaaaarggghh!" "I know!" Peter exclaimed. "I'll just sit in front of the tv, watch football, Lois, Cleveland & some of the campers will cook the Thanksgiving dinner"! "Sounds like a great idea." Homer awed. "I'm glad, I could be some help." "Yeah, just leave the mailbag here, Homer." Peter said. "I'll sort through those. That'll be a wise thing." So Homer did & lefted. Peter laughed. "When I meant 'I'll' I meant Brian." Then he got on his cell phone, to call the poor slave.
Meanwhile, Patsy was laying on her bed. She was having her quiet time. Like always, she was reading a magazine, had her music on, & was eating chocolates. Patsy enjoys doing this. "Ah! Nothin' but peace & quiet, and I'm enjoy every minute of it!" she said as she threw a piece of chocolate into her mouth. Just then, Penny walks in. "I see, yo' havin' yo' peace time." she said. "Yeah." Patsy said. Then Penny layed on her bed. "What a borin' day." she yawned. "It's dull, cold, & gray out." "Well, it's November after all, Penny." Patsy said as she turned a page in her magazine. "It's suppose to be that way." Penny thought what Patsy had said. "Yeah, yo' right, there, P." Penny said. "It's so damn cold, dat I'd had to bring out my pants." Patsy turned to her. "What? You just now gettin' out your pants? I been wearin' mine's since, the middle of last month." "You know, it's takes tha cold, rain, & wind to make me put on a pair." Penny laughed. "Yeah." Patsy said as she went back to her magazine. "You don't mind, if I join ya. Do you, P?" Penny asked. "No, I don't mind, Penny." Patsy said as she threw another piece of chocolate into her mouth. "Matter of fact, you can listen to your music, too." "Aight!" Penny exclaimed happily as she took her cd player, a several tins of Pringles, three bottles of Squirt, & her cd, Naughty by Nature's 'Hip hop hooray'.
At the poolroom, Lazlo & Mercedes was playing a friendly game of pool & was having a conversation too. "So, P told me dat you was afraid to play pool last year, because of a certain incident?" Mercedes asked as she made her shot. "Yeah. It was awful, Mercedes." Lazlo said as he made a shot. "Everyone was screaming & panicking. There was some much chocolate frosting & pineapple upside down cake everywhere!" "Well, I see, dat yo' over dat." Mercedes said. "Oh yeah." Lazlo said. "Let's just say, that I'd read a book on how to overcome such silly fears."
(Flashback)
Lazlo's back home, in Brazil, maybe Sao Paulo. Anyway, he was in his room. He was reading a book. It was one of Dr. Phil's books.
Lazlo:(reading outloud) If you're caused the whole world to go into finacial crises, by accidently hitting a investment firm guy's head. You need to 'accidently' spill the blood of your younger sibling & wash your hands in their blood. Hmmm. Now which one of my siblings should I hit?
Just then his younger sister, Julia, suddenly walks up to him. She had red shoulder length hair. She was wearing a white T-shirt, blue jeans, & white shoes.
Julia: Hey Lazlo. What are you doin'? Huh? Huh? What are you readin'? Huh? Huh?
Lazlo: Well, if you must know. I'm readin' one of Dr. Phil's books.
Julia: Why?
Lazlo: Because, I can get over my fear from playin' pool.
Julia: Oh, that Las Vegas incident. Why do you wanna do that?
Lazlo: Why wouldn't I?
Julia: Because, you want to impress your pink-haired mongoose girlfriend back in the states. That's why. Hee! Hee!
Lazlo: Shut up.
Julia:(in typical little sister manner) Lazlo & Patsy. Sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
Lazlo: I said, Shut up!
Julia: First, comes love, then come marriage.
Lazlo: SHUT UP!
Julia: Then Lazlo comes with a baby carriage.
Lazlo: THAT'S IT!!!
He throws a football a her. It hit her right in the mouth & the audience laughed. Bloody started sprewing out immediately. This was the chance, that Lazlo was waiting for. He goes over to his sister's blood & put his hands in it & washes his hands.
Lazlo: What that done. I need to go to the poolhall.
It then cutsaway to one of Sao Paulo's pool halls. Lazlo was playing a game of pool. He was winning & just got done finishing a game. He was counting the money, that he won.
Lazlo:(counting the money) I guess, that Dr. Phil book was right after all! I hope Julia be okay.
It cuts back to his house. Julia is now getting back up.
Julia:(holds her head) Oh god! My head's hurtin'.
She tastes her blood in her banana shaped mouth.
Julia: Why do I taste blood?
She notices Lazlo's football, sitting next to her.
Julia: I guess, I must've been playin' with Lazlo's football & hit myself in the mouth again. Why, do I keep doin' stupid shit!? Why?
(End flashback)
"It's times like dat, makes me glad, dat I'm a only child." Mercedes said as she made a shot. "Dat means, my folks & I can travel tha world." "You lucky." Lazlo muttered. "You've never had an annoying little sister or brother to irritate you. Or an older brother, that beats you up." "What? Does yo' older blood beat tha shit outta ya?" Mercedes asked. "No. Thank god, they moved out & have jobs & families, to irritate me." Lazlo laughed. "Basically, I'm the oldest in my family as of now." "Dat means, yo' be movin' out soon?" Mercedes asked. "Yep." Lazlo replied as he put up the cuestick. Just then, Stewie walked up to them. He had some papers. "Look, it's Stewie." Lazlo pointed out. "I wonder, what he wants." Mercedes sniffed. "I say, hello Fancy car girl." Stewie smiled. Then his mood changed when he saw Lazlo. "Hello primate." "What's that you got there?" Lazlo asked him. "These? These are the printed off flyers, that the fat man wanted me to give everyone. So here. Take them." Stewie explained as he gave Lazlo & Mercedes some of the flyers and lefted. "I wonder, what love handles want us to see?" Mercedes sniffed. "It's probably somethin' stupid, gay, annoying, or all three at once." Lazlo sniffed as he crumbled up the flyer. "Do you want something to snack on?" "Yeah." Mercedes said. "I wonder, if I got some tacos lefted." "Probably. Just as long that dumb Clam haven't ate em." Lazlo said. "You know, how he is?" "Yeah. Even when, somethin's got yo' name on it, he still eats it!" Mercedes sniffed. "Cheeky long-nosed c(bleep)t!" "Yeah." Lazlo muttered. "Do you wanna watch 'The Critic' dvd?" "Yeah." Mercedes exclaimed. "I love dat show." "Me too." Lazlo said. "Jay Sherman's funny." "Yeah, despite of him, bein' tha ass of everyone's jokes." said Mercedes. "Yeah." Lazlo muttered. "They could've treated him better." "Yeah. They could've give his show more seasons." Mercedes sniffed. "Dat shit was cool!" Just then, Jay Sherman runs up to her. "Thank you! Thank you! It's really rare for me to hear that! Especially, from a young lady, such as yourself!" he said as he hugged Mercedes tight. "Yo' welcomed, J." Mercedes said as she was struggling to breathe. "Let go!" So Jay did. Mercedes turned to him. "Yo' not bad for a 4'10 dude. Do you got a job?" "Yeah. I got a job." Jay said. "I got a job here." "As what?" Mercedes asked. "As the head medical personel." Jay said in a somewhat proud type of voice. "So, dat means, yo' a doctor or nurse, then?" Mercedes asked. "Yes, young lady. I'm a nurse!!!" Jay exclaimed happily as he ran off. "Dat man needs a woman." Mercedes muttered. "Yeah." Lazlo added. "Let's go."
Patsy & Penny was enjoying their quiet time. "So, are we gonna do this all day, P?" Penny asked Patsy. "Probably, since it's November & it's cold & rainy out." Patsy answered. Just then Mercedes & Lazlo walked in. Patsy noticed them. "Are you two, enjoyin' your day?" she asked in a teasing sort of way. "Yeah." Mercedes anwered. "I'm glad to hear it." Patsy said as she went back to her magazine. Mercedes went to check the fridge to see if her leftovers were still there & not eaten by Clam. Fortunately, it was. "Thank god, it's still there." Mercedes said as she got her food. Patsy closed her magazine. Lazlo noticed this. "Are you done?" he asked. "Yes, dear." Patsy said as she put away her magazine. "I am." "So, what do you wanna do today?" Lazlo asked. "I don't know." Patsy muttered. "Do you wanna go & hit Lois with sticks, rocks, & shit like that?" "Yeah." Lazlo said as he stood up. "Alrighty then." Patsy said. They leave. Penny turned to Mercedes. "So, Benz. Do you wanna do beat up some punk ass background n(bleep)as?" she asked. "Can it wait til I got done eatin', 'Nette?" asked Mercedes. "Yeah." Penny said. "It can wait. Those background bastards will still be here."
Meanwhile, Peter had called Brian down, to sort out the bag of mail. He of course, was cross. "I thought, you wanted me to help you, decide what everyone should do today?!" Brian sniffed. "Not help you sort out fast food coupons for your fat ass!!" "Hee!Hee! You always fall for that!" Peter laughed. "You should be used to that by now!" "Stupid asshole! Idiot!" Brian muttered. "Always doin' stupid shit!" He threw out the mail & slammed it on Peter's desk. Peter noticed this. Well, sort of. "Hey! Watch, where you slammin' that junkmail!! You're gonna spill my juice!!!!" he sniffed. "JUNKMAIL!!!! MOST OF THESE LETTERS ARE BILLS, PRIVATE LETTERS FOR THE CAMPERS, LOIS, & EVEN FOR YOUR FAT ASS!!!!" Brian yelled as he slammed the letters onto Peter's desk. "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! This sure is some great juice!" Peter exclaimed as he ignored Brian's rant. Brian was blind-as-a-bat red now. "You wanna do this!?! Well, FINE!!!! YOU DO IT THEN!!!! I'M DONE FOR THE DAY!!!!!" Then he threw the mailbag at Peter & lefted the office. Peter was stunned. "I wonder, what he's mad about?" he asked stupidly as the audience jeered at his stupidity.
Patsy & Lazlo was throwing stuff at Lois. They were doing this, well Patsy anyway; was doing this, because she hated Lois. And Lazlo was doing this, because Patsy was. Anyway, they were throwing stones, sticks & the like at Lois. "OW! STOP IT!" Lois cried. "SHUT UP!" Patsy snapped. "I HATE YOU!!!!" "But why do you hate me?" Lois asked between the stone throwing. "I didn't do anything to you." "You always goin' around here, lookin' stupid!" Patsy shouted as she threw another stone at Lois. "You got a big nose! Your feet is round. You always wear lipstick all the damn time! And you treat everyone like a fuckin' moron!" "Oh. Don't forget, what she done to me, when we first met, Patsy." Lazlo sniffed as he threw another stone.
(Flashback)
This happened, just after Peter brought both camps. Lois just put on her new uniform & just went outside.
Lois: Ah! Time to plant some flowers. They'll make this a little better.
She plants some flowers, until she noticed Lazlo walking by.
Lois: Ha! Just look at that. That kid got a banana for a mouth. What will kids think of next? Wait a minute!! Did he just come from my kitchen?!?
It cutsaway to Lois' kitchen counter. There was some bananas out of a shopping bag. One of the bananas were already eaten, as a peel was on the shopping bag.
Lois: THAT CHEEKY ORANGE C(bleep)T!!! I'LL SHOW HIM!!!
She turns to the direction Lazlo went.
Lois: OY YOU! THE BANANA MOUTH!
Lazlo:(turns to her direction) Who me?
Lois: Yeah you! Come here!!
Lazlo goes towards her.
Lazlo: Yeah.
Lois:(points to his mouth) Where did you get this?
Lazlo: What? My mouth?
Lois: Yeah, your 'mouth'. Where did you get this?
Lazlo: I was born with this.
Lois: Yeah, whatever! Now gimme back my banana!
Lazlo:(back away from Lois a bit) What do you mean?
Lois: YOU KNOW DAMN WELL!!!! GIVE IT HERE, NOW!!!
Then she jumps onto poor Lazlo. She beats him up & rips his mouth off.
Lois: That'll teach ya! Stupid kid!
She then kids him & leaves with his mouth. Back at the kitchen, she puts Lazlo's mouth on the counter.
Lois: There! Stupid monkey!
Just then, Peter walked up to her. He was eating a banana.
Peter: Hey Lois. What are you doin'?
Lois: I'd just caught one of the campers, stealing one of the family's bananas! Uh, what are you eatin'?
Peter:(takes a bite from the banana) A banana. It was with the rest on the counter.
Lois: So, if you're eatin' the missing banana. That means, that's that kid's....
Lazlo then slam opens the kitchen door. He was cross.
Lazlo's mouth: My mouth! You stupid bitch!
Lois: Oh! I'm so sorry, dear. Here.
She gives him, his mouth back. He puts it back on.
Lois: I'm really sorry, honey.
Lazlo: FUCK YOU!!!!!! You stupid big-nosed skank!!!!
Lazlo leaves the kitchen angrily.
Peter: It's already the first day, & you're already fuckin' up, Lois.
Lois: H-How was I suppose to know, that was his mouth?
Peter:(points the oppersite direction) Go to your room.
Lois: What?
Peter: You heard me! GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!! We'll, and when I meant 'we'll', I meant me. I will discuss about your punishment!
Lois: Oh, man!
She stomped to the bedroom. Peter grabbed another banana.
Peter:(peeled the banana) Ah, parenting's so hard.
audience:(laughs)
(End flashback)
"How was I suppose to know, that was your mouth?" Lois asked. "Everyone was new & I didn't know anybody." "Back to topic." Patsy said. "You got very snobby parents. You treat Meg like shit! You don't even notice Stewie & you're just too damn annoying!" "It's not my fault!" Lois cried as another stone hit her in the knee. "I was drawn & created to be that way! What can I do? I'm only human." Then she got on her knees, in front of Patsy. "I'm only human!" she cried. Patsy rolled her eyes. "I hate it, when they grovel." Then Lois put her head on Patsy's feet. "I'm sorry, for bein' all those things!" she sobbed. Lazlo went towards Patsy. "Damn Patsy. I've never seen anybody cry like that before." he said. "Maybe, we should stop throwin' stones. That'll be a wise thing." "I suppose, you're right, dear." Patsy said. "She's making my feet more wet than the rain. Okay, Lois. You can get up now." Lois got up. "I'm sorry, that I cried, & got your feet wet." "That's alright, Lois." Patsy muttered as she give Lois a tissue. "They were gonna get wet regardless. Here." Lois blew her nose. "Thank you, dear. Do you at least, wanna be friends?" "Yeah, but occasionally, I have to beat on you, just to keep up appearances." Patsy said. "That's fine with me." Lois said. "What about Mercedes & Penny?" Lazlo asked. "What are we gonna tell them?" "Well, we can keep this as a secret between us three." Lois said as she winked. "That's fine with me." Patsy said. Just then, Mercedes & Penny walked up. "What ya'll doin'?" Mercedes asked. "Oh! I was beatin' the shit outta this big-nosed, high-lookin' slut!" Patsy said as she hit Lois with a stone. "Ow!" Lois cried as she felled into the mud. "Dat's teachin' her, P!" Penny praised. "Stupid dick-suckin' ho'!" They all leave. Patsy turned back to Lois. Lois got her head out of the mud. Patsy smiled at her & Lois smiled back.
It was sometime later. Joe had brought in another big mailbag. Peter noticed this. "What? Some more mail?" "Well, what do you expect?" Joe asked. "It is November after all." "Yeah." Peter said as he started taking out the mail. "What happened to Brian?" Joe asked. "He usually does this for you." "He got angry over somethin'. I don't know what." Peter said. "I'm startin' to think to what, or shall I say, who, he was mad at." Joe said. "What?" asked Peter. "What?" Joe asked. Peter looked through the mail. "Bill. Bill. A letter for Ms. Penny. Pizza Hut coupons. Burger King coupons. Bill, & a Playboy for me." "Maybe, I should deliever Penny's letter to her." Joe said as he took Penny's letter. "Yeah, you go ahead and do that, Joe." Peter said as he looked into his dirty magazine. Mercedes & Penny was at the lodge. They was watching tv with Edward. They were watching, 'Dangerous minds'. "Damn. Urban schoolin's one hell of a drug." Edward said. Penny & Mercedes looked at him. "What?" he asked. "I was just keepin' it real. That's all." "Whatever." Mercedes sniffed. "Just don't be fake. Dat'll be a wise thing." Just then, Joe rolled up to Penny. "Here's a important letter for you, Penny." Joe said as he handed her the letter. She looks at it. "Oh! It's from my mom." "I wonder, what she wants?" Mercedes wondered. So Penny opened the letter. There was cash inside of it. "Oh snap! Look at all that green you got, Ms. Penny!" Edward exclaimed. "Are you gonna split it?" Penny turned to him. "Why you ask dat? Do you want me to give you half? Huh? Do you want me to strip & stuff dollars down my panties? Huh? Would you like dat? Huh? Huh?!?" Penny demaded angrily, even though she was teasing. "N-N-No M-M-Ms. P-P-Penny." Edward stuttered as he started sweating from the sexy thought. "I-I-I gotta go!" He runs outta there. Mercedes turned to Penny. "I like tha way you do dat, 'Nette." "I like doin' dat too!" Penny laughed. "I like tha way, dat n(bleep)a always get all nervous, & sweaty!" "Did you noticed he was gettin' hard, also?" Mercedes laughed. "Yeah!" Penny laughed as she took the cash out of the envelope. "What a prick!" Just then, a note fell out of the envelope. Mercedes noticed this. "There's a note, dat fell out, 'Nette." So Penny picked it up & read it.
Dear Annette,
This year, our family's, who was available, will be havin' Thanksgivin' at home this year. This money, I send is for gas & refreshments. By tha way, if you got any homies, they can come too. See you until then.
Love,
Mom
"What does it say?" Mercedes asked. "It says, dat our family's gonna have Thanksgivin' at Mo-town this year." Penny started. "This cash's here is for gas & food & if we got any homies, they can come too." "Dat's tight. I hate to dread, what big boy's Thanksgivin' plans are." Mercedes muttered. "You should of seen, what happened last year." Penny said. "What happened?" Mercedes asked. "Well, fat boy got drunk, Q had sex wit tha turkey, a bunch of background punks got drunk, & P & I had to make tha second dinner." Penny explained. "So, did ya'll fry chicken?" Mercedes asked. "Yeah." Penny responded as she stood up. "C'mon, let's go tell, P." "Yeah, dat'll be a wise thing." added Mercedes.
Patsy & Lazlo was with Lois. They were in her room. She had a piece of paper, that Peter gave her earlier, and Lazlo & Patsy was wondering what was it. "What's that?" Patsy asked Lois. "Oh, it's a list, that Peter gave me. It's for the Thanksgiving dinner." Lois explained. "I hope, Quagmire's not gonna fuck up the turkey, by having sex with it, again." Lazlo sniffed. "But I must say, that chicken you & Penny fried sure was good, Patsy!" "Ha! Ha! Thank you, dear." Patsy giggled. "Well, I'd better not buy too much stuff." Lois started. "Because, most of the campers are goin' home to be with their families for Thanksgiving." "Yeah, that'll be a wise thing." Patsy said. "Alright." Lois started. "The stuff, I need to get is; Turkey of course, Ham, yams, cranberry sauce, Mac & cheese, Stove top stuffing, wine, beer, & rolls." Then she took out her keys. "Do you guys wanna come to the store with me?" "Yes, but I want to check on Penny & Mercedes first." Patsy said. "Go ahead, dear." Lois said. So Patsy did.
Outside, Patsy bumped into Mercedes & Penny. "Oh! There you guys are." "P, we got some news for you." Mercedes said. "What is it?" asked Patsy. "Here." Penny said as she Patsy her letter. Patsy read it. "So, that means, I'm gonna go to Detroit for Thanksgiving?" "Yeah, P." Penny said. "It also says, dat we can invite any homies along, wit us." "So, dat means, you can invite yo' boy, P." Mercedes teased. "You know, that teasin' shit doesn't even bother me anymore, Mercedes." Patsy said. "Oh. Well, it was just a suggestion, P." Mercedes said. Patsy thought about it. "Hmm? That sounds like a great idea. This'll give Lazlo a chance to meet my mom." "So, what did you want, P?" Penny asked. "What? Oh! I just wanted to tell ya'll that I punched Lois in the nose, for bein' annoyin'." Patsy lied. "Dat's good, P." Mercedes chirped. "Keep up tha hard work!" Penny said. Patsy went back to Lazlo & Lois. "I'm sorry Lois, but Lazlo & I need to stay here." Patsy announced. "What's wrong, dear?" Lois asked. "Uh, something came up. Nina's on the shit again." Patsy lied. "And I need to tend to her." "Oh alright then." Lois said. "Maybe next time then." Lois leaves. "Is it that bad, Patsy?" Lazlo asked. "That was an excuse, to keep us from goin' with Lois." Patsy admitted. "I need to talk to you, dear." "What is it, sweetie?" Lazlo asked. "My family's gonna have Thanksgiving in Detroit this year & looks like Mercedes, Penny, & I have to attend & I wonderin', if you like to come?" Patsy explained. "If-if your family doesn't mind?" "I would like to come, Patsy." Lazlo said. "My family doesn't mind. Hell, they probably wouldn't even notice. So, when are we leavin'?" "The beginning of next chapter." Patsy said. "Maybe." "So, do you wanna get packed?" Lazlo asked. "Yeah, let's." Patsy said as they went to pack.
Brian was relaxing. He was smoking a cigarette, when Stewie walks in on him. "I say, dog." he started. "I've heard that you went off on the fat man." "Yeah, I did!" Brian sniffed as he took a puff from his cigarette. "He's always treatin' me like shit!" "So, you finally noticed that?" Stewie asked. "I guess, that's something, that you can write for your novel, that you've been doin' for the last eight years......" Brian slapped Stewie's head, for doing that very annoying high voice/novel gag. "Ow! You bitch!" Stewie sniffed. "That's what you get for doin' that stupid gag!" Brian sniffed. "You're pissin' me off, just like Oscar the grouch met Abby Cadabby."
(Cutaway to Sesame Street)
Oscar was in his can. It was raining out, so nobody wasn't outside playing. He was enjoying this.
Oscar: Ah! There's nothin' like, sittin' out. In the rain. With no annoyin' happy goody goody two-shoes around!
Just then, some magic dust starts appearing. Suddenly, a pink, furry fairy monster-like girl, wearing a blue dress appears. She had a wand, of course. She looks at Oscar.
Abby: Hello there. My name's Abby Cadabby, and....where am I?
Oscar: Oh god! Another annoyin' goody-goody! I'm gonna hate this shit!
Abby: Mister, can you tell me what is this place?
Oscar: Well, if you must know, it's Sesame Street. The most crappiest place on the face of the earth.
Abby: Okay? What does 'crappiest' means?
Oscar:(getting pissed now) It means, get lost, little girl!
Abby: What does, 'get lost' means?
Oscar: GET OUTTA HERE!
Abby: What does 'GET OUTTA HERE' means?
Oscar: GRRRRRR!
Abby: Look whaat I can do!
She then swings her wand & turns Oscar into a pumpkin. The audience laughs.
Abby:(happy, not noticing what she did) I turn everything into pumpkins! Am I smart or...
Then she looks at the camera.
Abby: What is that word?
Cameraman: Smart.
Abby: Oh yeah! Smart! I think, I'm gonna make it stop, uh....
She looks at the camera again.
Abby: What's this stuff, that's falling?
Cameraman: Rain.
Abby: Oh yeah! I'm gonna make it stop raining!
She waves her wand to make it stop raining. The rain stop, but it started raining giant orange ripe pumpkins. The pumpkins smashed through & destroyed everything. Cars, windows, buildings, toys, trash cans, & even people, knocking some of them unconcious. Elmo sure was enjoying himself.
Elmo:(doing his stupid, annoying trademark laugh) Ha! Hee! Hee! Hee! This feels good! Elmo enjoys being hit with pumpkins! This is fun, eh Mr. Noodle?
Mr. Noodle, who was safe, inside of his apartment, flipped Elmo off. The audience laughs.
Elmo:(notices his gesture) Does that means, that you love Elmo?
Abby: It's rainin' pumpkins. Well, I'm too tired to fix this problem. I'm sure, everybody can handle a lil' pumpkin rain.
She disappears, while everybody & everything's steadily getting pelted with pumpkins.
Elmo: Ha! Hee! Hee! Hee! Elmo wished, that'll rain pumpkins everyday!
Then he opens his mouth, & a giant pumpkin smashed his head in. The audience laughs. The pumpkin rain stops. Mr. Noodle goes out & notices Elmo's dead body & breaks his silence.
Mr. Noodle: Ha! Ha! Ha! What a douche!! Thank god he's dead! I was gettin' sick of his annoyin' red ass!
Then he pulled his pants down, & pees on Elmo's body. The audience laughs.
Noodle: That'll teach you, bitch!
audience:(laughs)
(End long cutaway)
"Maybe, I should leave you alone, dog." Stewie sniffed as he rubbed the spot Brian slapped him at. "Yeah, that'll be a wise idea, kid." Brian said, in a calm voice now. "Alrighty then." Stewie said as he back away towards the enterance to Brian's quarters. "Oh god! Brian! Brian! Brian!" the white dog muttered to himself as he made himself a martini. "Do you always have to be so damn cruel?"
It was getting dark now. Mercedes & Penny was laying in their beds. They were resting. They just got done beating up some background characters, making fun of Lois, & messing around with Stewie & Edward. "Oh damn, Benz." Penny yawned. "What a day!" "Yeah." Mercedes yawned. "It feels kinda late." Penny looked at her watch. "It's only five after seven." Mercedes took out her phone. "D'you wanna order some chicken wings?" "Yeah." Penny said, then she thought of something. "Benz, do you wanna watch 'Cedric the entertainer presents'?" "Yeah. Dat's sounds like a wise idea, 'Nette." Mercedes said as she dialed the number for the wing place on her phone. Soon, the wings arrived & Penny & Mercedes were watching tv. "Damn, these wings are hot as hell." Penny said as she took a bite from the wing. "Just like tha way, I like 'em!" "Yep!" Mercedes said as she took a sip from her Cherry Coke. Just then, Patsy & Lazlo walks into the scene. Patsy noticed them. "So, there you guys are." she said. "You're not doin' anything illegal are ya?" "No! What makes you think, dat we do anythin' like dat?" Mercedes asked. "I don't know." Patsy admitted. "It's time to start packin'." Lazlo butted in. "Packin'?" Penny asked him. "You goin' home?" "No. I'm goin' to Detroit with yall." Lazlo explained. "Oh." Penny muttered. Soon Patsy got into her bed. "I need my sleep. I'm gonna need to get up early." "Yeah, we need to leave early." Mercedes said as she wiped her mouth with a napkin. "Yeah." Penny said as she drunk some water. "Dat'll be a wise thing." So, Penny put the leftover wings onto a lock & seal bowl. Then she put it in the refridgerator. Soon, she was in her nightgown. "Ah! I'm gonna sleep go tonight!" "Me too." Mercedes yawned as she got into her bed. Patsy looked around. "It feels like something's missing." "More like two things, P." Mercedes added. "Oh! Raj & Clam. They got a new cabin to themselves." Lazlo explained.
(Cutaway)
Raj & Clam was in their own cabin. Clam was jumping up & down on his bed.
Clam: CLAM'S GONNA PARTY LIKE IT'S 1999!
Raj: Yeah! We got our own cabin! That means, no more female rules. No more bras. No more Lazlo's rules. No more havin' to hide our weed smoking!
Clam: YEAH! BRING OUT THE WHITE STUFF!!!!!
So Raj brought out the bud & lit it. They started smoking.
Raj:(snorts some of the drug) Ah! There's nothin' like it!
Clam:(snorts some of the weed too) No more idiots, holdin' us back!
Raj: Don't be so hard on yourself, Clam.
Clam:(hears Raj) How would you like your head to be peeled with a crowbar?
audience:(laughs)
Raj: What?
Clam: What?
audience:(laughs)
(End cutaway)
"Dat's good." Penny said sleepily. "I was gettin' tired of C's snorin'." "Me too." Mercedes yawned. "I was also gettin' tired of my leftovers gettin' eaten by those n(bleep)as." Everyone agreed. "Well," Lazlo said as he turned to Patsy. "G'night, Patsy." "G'Night, Lazlo, dear." Patsy said sleepily. "See you in the morning." They both went to sleep. "Well, Benz." Penny started. "G'night." "G'night, 'Nette." Mercedes said sleepily, as she turned off the lamp on her side table. "See you in tha mornin'." After that, everyone went happily to sleep.
