Confessions with Doctor Sweets:
Booths First Issue
With a heavy sigh I opened the door and stalked into his office; completely ignoring his current patient. I had been standing there for fifteen minutes working up courage and finally found myself able to do it. To talk to him like I knew I needed to.
He put up his normal protest- giving me the entire spiel about how I 'cannot just barge in on him and another patient like this' and I found that I still didn't care. I needed to talk and Lance Sweets was the only person I was willing to talk to.
Eventually, after a bit of persuasion, I was able to convince him to reschedule with the man currently sitting on his couch. That was my spot and I needed it now. I couldn't keep this bottled up anymore.
As soon as the man got up I took his place and watched Sweets with intensity I didn't know I possessed. His only response was to cock an eyebrow at me; a silent cue for me to begin and begin I did.
Slowly but surely I started telling him of this man that I could not get out of my head. That kept poking and prodding at my thoughts until he consumed them and as I spun my tale I carefully watched Sweets reaction; not knowing exactly what to suspect.
I went on about how I thought my obsession with Bones only had existed because I couldn't admit it to myself that I had feelings for individuals of my own gender and that it somehow made everything seem okay. Out of all the things I was expecting him to do nodding wasn't one of them so when he did I was thrown for a loop.
"So, what you're telling me is that you were obsessed with Dr. Brennan because she was a viable replacement for the true object of your affection?" I nodded and waited for him to continue; the man truly sounded like a squint sometimes.
"Alright; have you ever considered talking to the man you admire so much about your feelings?"
I paused and had to think for a minute. For a while I had considered it but then that thought was trashed when I witnessed an event while on I was back on duty. Then we all reconciled as a group and things went back to normal; except now the man was going to be a father… but I didn't tell Sweets that.
Instead I told him I had considered it but after witnessing certain events in Afghanistan I reconsidered. Gays were not welcome in the Army nor were they respected in the FBI and if word got out… Sweets only nodded. He seemed deep thought; deeper than I was.
"Men do have a harder time with social acceptance when coming out, so to speak, but you should not let that hamper your feelings. You're strong enough to face them without worry."
He then brought up my current relationship and I sighed heavily. Hannah was great but I couldn't help but feel she was still a substitute for him. Her quick wit and sarcasm is what originally drew me to her but I cannot help but notice all of the similarities between them. Yeah she was gorgeous anyone could see that but she lacked something I couldn't put my finger on. Again Sweets nodded… which was starting to get on my nerves. He must have been able to tell I was getting agitated because he spoke up.
"What's the real reason that you haven't talked to him. It sounds like you know him well enough and I truly believe that the fear of people knowing your gay is the only reason you haven't tried talking to him at least." I sighed and thought for a moment about how I was going to answer. Best be short, sweet, and to the point. Besides; knowing Sweets he already has figure out who I'm talking about anyway.
I decided to go with three facts: he's married, he's about to become a father, and by talking to him I would most likely screw up team dynamics. Plus, I thought to myself, I don't think I could do that to Angela.
