Disclaimer: Don't own anything official and don't claim to g
Notes: As always, thanks to the wonderful Shannon for the beta g
For AT, I miss you
--------
The old saying "when it rains, it pours" had never
been more true. First, Lucas had accidentally ingested a deadly portion of Trinitine-F, then they'd
discovered that it hadn't been an accident. Then came Lucas' second suicide
attempt, this time from jumping off a cliff. The attempt had very narrowly been
stopped by the quick intervention of the crew and a last ditch effort by Nathan
as he literally leaped across the remaining distance to drag Lucas back from
the edge.
Now, he sat next to Lucas' bedside, watching the teenager
sleep after _finally_ breaking down and talking about it. Nathan sighed. There
was more going on inside Lucas' head then hed ever thought possible. How such a
bright person, and one as giving as Lucas was, could think so little of himself
was beyond him. Up until a couple of weeks ago though, suicide had been beyond
him.
'Oh Lucas,' he thought as he lightly brushed aside the hair
hanging in Lucas' eyes. 'Why? I just don't understand. I don't know if I ever
will, but I'll be here to make sure you make it through this, no matter what it
takes.'
'I know it gets tough Kiddo. Sometimes you just don't think
you can go on, but you can. You just have to hang on through the rough spots.
We'll all be here to hang on to you as well. Everybody feels bad sometimes,
it's all right to _not_ be perfect. No matter what anyone has told you before,
it's okay. Just let it go.'
'No one's perfect Lucas. No one ever has been, not really,
and _you_ don't need to be. We love you just the way you are, I just wish you
could believe that. I know you don't believe in yourself, but believe in us. We
wouldn't care about you if there wasn't something in you to care about. You're
a wonderful person Lucas; listen to your friends when we tell you that.'
'You're _not_ alone Lucas. I don't care what you think, you
are _not_ alone and we won't leave you. No matter what you do, no matter what
you think, we will _not_ leave. Don't give up, please Lucas. You've got too
much going for you to give up now. I know you don't think that, but it's true.
I know your "father" pulled strings to get you on board, but you
_you_ have kept you here. I could have had you ordered off the first day I got
here, but I didn't.'
'I know some people wonder why I didn't - I'm sure you have
-- and you want to know why I didn't? Because I could see something in you.
Something that told me to wait, see how you dealt with being here. I haven't
regretted that decision once Lucas, not when you've pulled pranks with Ben, or
argued with the Doctor, or refusde to go to bed at a decent hour. Not even when
you tried suicide - I'm _very_ glad you were here when you tried that, because
we were able to save you -- and you're worth saving Lucas! Believe that if
nothing else.'
'Everyone has rough times when all they do is want to crawl
into a hole and bury themselves, but there are other options. I won't let you
go Lucas, no matter what you do, no matter what you try, I won't let you go. If
I have to follow you around the boat: which I know you'd hate, I will. Anything
to make sure you're safe and you know you're loved. I can't promise anything
else to you, but I can promise that you are always going to be loved, and no
one, not your parents or anybody else will be able to break that promise. I
swear it.'
Bridger settled into the chair, finally allowing his eyes to close after a very stressful time. He didn't feel like he could relax, let his guard down, but he had hope now. Lucas had talked to him, _really_ talked to him. It was an important step and Bridger knew he and the others would be around to help Lucas with the rest of it. No matter how long it took. They would be there for him.
