A/N: Oh god this is so bad, I'm aware of that, it's really really bad, anyone who ships this pairing I apologize for how much this sucks. I'm working on 3 more one-shots for them which are so much better than this. I just need it out of my head. So, here you are, I present to you, my S6 MerAlex. (AU after Izzie leaves the first time).


He'd always told her the post-it thing was a load of crap. That it didn't really mean anything. But then Izzie upped and left him with divorce papers and medical bills and everything he thought he knew about marriage was gone. He never believed in it anyway. Marriage to him really was a load of crap.

It was 6 months after Izzie left that Derek Shepard upped and left too. He sort of saw it coming. Kind of. It was rare that a day went by without some kind of screaming match in the House of Grey. And then the call came. Boston General needed a new Chief and Derek was top of the list. And he accepted. Even when Meredith said there was no way on earth she was leaving Seattle he accepted. And he noticed that she didn't even shed a tear. She was always better off without him. And he couldn't help but feel a little proud when he watched her drop the framed post-it into the trash.

They trudged through the next couple of months with no real difference to the way they lived. Just a decrease in the number of people that walked in and out of the front door every morning. The anniversary of George's death doesn't go by unnoticed. He finds her sat behind the sofa with a photo album in her hands. Pictures of their intern year filling the pages. Her eyes frozen on one picture of herself and George smiling at the camera. Silent tears falling down her face. He sits next to her, closes the album and puts it on the floor and holds her as the sobs start. They sit there for an hour talking about him, because Alex never really did when it happened, because of Izzie. He figured it was kind of an anniversary for him too.

It's 18 months to the day that Izzie left and a year after Derek that the game changes. He suggests they all go to Joe's for some drinks, so it's himself and Meredith, Cristina and Owen, Lexie and Mark and Arizona and Callie drinking the night away. And everyone notices the pair sitting closer and closer together as the drinks kept coming. And by the end of the night Meredith is practically on his lap. And it's Mark and Owen, the only two sober one's thanks to the on-call gods at SeattleGrace-MercyWest that have to drag them into a cab. And as they open the front door they stumble to the floor, Alex landing on top of Meredith, and before they know it their pants are around their ankles and they cross the line that had been wearing thin for months. They wake up naked on the kitchen floor, they never work out how they got there.

They avoid each other for a week after. Neither one knowing what it really meant. And they still didn't know when at the end of the week they end up christening every room of the house. Even the one that used to be Izzie's, but nothing about that room was Izzie anymore. Exactly a year after she left Meredith shipped the last of her things off to Izzie's Mom and completely made over the room. The last room they ended up in was Meredith's. They fell asleep wrapped in each others arms.

They don't ever define what they are. They know it's not just sex but they don't call themselves a couple. And they don't really act like anything other than friends in public. Even though everyone knows whats going on and they're known as Alex-and-Meredith now not Alex and Meredith. They did however both admit (to themselves) that they'd never been in a relationship that felt as easy as theirs did. And they both know it's because Derek and Izzie had both been perky-optimistic-bright-and-shiny-happily-ever-after people from birth and just because they'd had their fair share of dark and twisty moments didn't mean they were dark and twisty people. Meredith and Alex? They were born dark and twisty. No matter how much they tried not to be.

After a year of being a non-couple couple they finally let their guards down and decided to put themselves all in. Because they'd slowly been slipping into couple like habits anyway. Over time he moved into the master bedroom. Whenever they were both off work they'd go to bed at the same time and fall asleep with him spooning her. When one of them was on-call they'd make a point of phoning home just to say hello or say goodnight. What began as walking side by side, developed into linked arms and settled with hand holding. And they'd even begun greeting each other with small kisses. Meredith was surprised when Cristina didn't even flinch at the prospect of them being together. She even called her on it because it freaked her out that much. And Cristina merely replied that for the first time in all the time she'd known them, they both look care free. And it was left at that.

It's in their 3rd year together that Meredith pees on a stick. And even though there's no doubt in their minds about keeping it they're petrified at the prospect of being parents. But they get through it just like they got through Izzie and Derek leaving. Jacob Daniel Grey-Karev is born a little less than 9 months later. And even though they're still petrified everyone takes note of how great they are with him. They never really had any doubts. Especially when Alex finally gave in and went into neonatal and pediatrics.

It's exactly a week before their 4th anniversary when Izzie knocks on the door and Alex answers with a 3 month old Jacob held against his chest. They both freeze. And then Meredith walked out of the kitchen rambling about leaving Jacob with Mark and Lexie on their anniversary and then she looks up and freezes. And Izzie just looks between them both with wide eyes. Meredith eventually sighs and tells her she better come in. It's sufficiently awkward. Alex says nothing. At all. He just holds Jacob in his arms and keeps his eyes locked on his tiny face while Meredith explains the past 5 and a half years of their life. Izzie leaves pretty quickly after that, leaving Meredith with a dejected look, like they were doing something wrong almost. Meredith can hardly look him in the eye all week. But then their anniversary comes and he tells her to stop being ridiculous, that Izzie has no right to have an opinion on their lives, that she walked out and so did Derek. Meredith knows she chose right in that moment.

They never get married. Ever. It was never him and it certainly wasn't her. The subject is never raised. They surprise everyone and themselves when Jacob turns 3 and they actually plan to have another child. But they figured that he'd love a little brother or sister to play with so why the hell not. They hadn't screwed him up. As far as they knew anyway. It doesn't take long for Meredith to get pregnant and Chloe Elouise Grey-Karev is welcomed into the world.

In their 10th year Meredith is invited to a neurosurgical convention in Boston. She's instantly anxious because Boston now means Derek. And Derek hasn't really been mentioned let alone seen. She only hears his name when she's in the company of Mark who keeps in contact with him. But it's only ever career stuff she hears. She doesn't know anything about his love life so she doubts he'll know anything about hers. She actually says she's not going until Alex tells her she shouldn't screw up the chance to meet some of her surgical heroes because there's a possibility Derek Shepard might be there. She hates that he's right.

It's at the end of the first conference that she sees him. His hairs grayer and he has more wrinkles but he still looks like him. McDreamy. And she's actually ecstatic that there's nothing there, no rush of feelings, no regret, there are nerves but, no regret. He approaches her with his McDreamy smile and she can't help but smirk when she notices the ring on his finger. They make awkward small talk until her phone rings and she answers because she'd made it clear to everyone in Seattle that they should only call in emergencies. And then she's rolling her eyes because it's Jacob whining that Alex won't buy them ice-cream for dinner and she spends 5 minutes explaining that that doesn't count as an emergency. The words, 'Mommy' 'Daddy' and 'Little Sister' are flung around alot and then she's speaking to Alex and his name followed by 'Honey' and 'I Love You Too' are thrown in just before she hangs up. And he's looking at her with a 'Alex as in Alex' look on his face and all she can do is nod to confirm. They end up having lunch together, him telling her about his wife Emily and showing her pictures of their two year old twins Jack and James. Her telling him about how the Alex thing came about and showing him pictures of Jacob and Chloe. It's surprisingly pleasant and they say goodbye with a hug. She finds herself thinking what was I worried about.

When she arrives home the house is in a mess like no other, she groans loudly but she can't help but smile when she follows voices into the backyard and she finds Alex, Jacob and Chloe playing with a soccer ball, and her heart flutters as she hears her daughters giggles and her sons laughs, and the deep chuckle of her partner, her best friend, her love. She steps towards them and jumps on Alex from behind with a scream and he somehow flips her over and pins her onto the grass with a thump. And then he's kissing her and the kids are jumping on top of them. And now Meredith is laughing and she finds herself forgetting about the mess she has to clear up.

The next morning Meredith wakes up in Alex's arms and she's never felt as safe. She turns a little and reaches up to touch his face, softly, feeling his rough skin beneath her fingers as she traced his cheek, she pushed herself up a little and kissed his lips softly. His eyes flutter open and he smiles as his eyes meet Meredith's. He tells her he missed waking up to her, that he loves her. Meredith tells him she loves him too before kissing him again. And then the bedroom door is swung open and they're being jumped on by Jacob and Chloe. Jacob settles on top of Meredith and Chloe on top of Alex and they just sit together talking about the day ahead.

Their pasts sometimes come back to bite them when they argue. Their worlds used to revolve around scalpels and broken hearts but now the first thing that's on their mind in their morning is how they're going to get Chloe to her toddlers dance class and Jacob to his soccer practice in time to get back to the hospital. It was a life neither of them ever expected to get but got anyway. It was a life that they were always so against. But now that they had it, they never wanted to let it go. They weren't Meredith and Alex, or even Meredith-and-Alex, they were a family, and that was all that really mattered.


A/N: It was bad huh?