Authors Note: This is my first Lost fan fiction and my second time on this site. I only started watching the show recently so my take on the characters might be off and the interaction unbelievable. Any hints or reprimands would be greatly appreciated. It is set at the end of Walkabout.
Disclaimer: Lost is the property of J. J. Abrams, Bad Robot and ABC. This story is strictly for my own personal pleasure. Any similarities between this story's plot and any others is purely coincidental. No plagiarism is intended.
Choking on the thought of leaving,
Drinking to keep from sobbing,
Four pm, four dollar pints, S.F.O. the time and price.
Thought my happiness aborted, the P.A painfully starts boarding.
I sink deep, thirty thousand feet, into my window seat. Electric chair.
And I was drinking you good-bye. A heart floats in the bay.
From sour home Chicago, I hear it beating far away.
And there's no telling what I'll do if I don't return to you.
Hopeful thoughts of soon returning. I can't put out my stomach burning.
Plastic wings and plastic smiles, and salted peanuts stretch my miles.
Choking on the thought of leaving,
Drinking to keep from heaving,
Five pm, five dollar pints, Hairline Airlines, time and price.
And I was drinking you good-bye. A heart floats in the bay.
From sour home Chicago, I hear it beating far away.
And there's no telling what I'll do if I don't return to you.
Salted Peanuts.
No one seemed to know where Jack was. After she had looked around a few more times, it was obvious he wasn't by the fuselage. As Claire continued to read names Kate slipped out of the circle to go look for him. She glanced at Charlie before she left, who looked slightly dazed. Must be grief. They were all finding this hard, but Jack had to not only to take care of himself but everyone else. Being the only doctor in the group meant he had to sacrifice sleep and food in order to care for all of the people stranded on the island. He had looked exhausted all day, and she found herself wondering several times how he was still standing, especially with that large gash across his back and side. She knew he stayed up at night to watch over them, and he had never truly dealt with ending the Marshall's life or with the plane crash itself. The burning of the bodies had been his idea. Where was he?
She spotted him sitting down on the sand, staring out to sea, a little away from the campsite. He had his knees drawn up tight to his chest, arms dangling, hands clasped. As she neared him she noticed the pensive expression on his face, his eyes were unfocused. Kate was nearly on top of him before he stirred, sensing her presence. Turning slightly towards her, the corner of his lip tilted upwards slightly as he saw who it was. She always did seem to know where to find him. He gestured at the conflagration and the people gathered around it , the flames blurring the images and casting them all in shadow, sending sparks into the night. The orange and vermilion flames licked at the black sky, stars momentarily dulled by it's brilliance. Goddamn stars, he thought idly, who knew they could look so ugly?
"How are they?"
"They seem to be doing okay. Claire's managing well, but I think she really wanted you to do it." He turned away as she sat down beside him, burying her feet in the sand.
"Like I said before, it's not really my thing. Let some one else have a go." She sat in silence as she pondered over the many layers of that simple statement. He was tired of being a leader, the 'Hero', as Sawyer so aptly put it. He was used to treating a patient and then never seeing them again. To crises' at work and calm at home. There was no where he could go now, no way of referring a patient to someone more qualified. He was a doctor and had to do his best at treating everyone, even for things that were outside his area of expertise. He was after all a spinal surgeon, and yet had to deal with pregnancies and diseases, among other things. It didn't matter to anyone else if this wasn't what he was trained for. If he got it wrong he would still be blamed for not doing his job. The pressure of forty-odd peoples lives rested squarely on his shoulders. She watched as he rubbed his neck absently, the shirt collar sticking slightly to his damp back.
She honestly didn't know what to say to him, and as he got up to move away from her she glanced up. He wasn't looking at her, rather at the spot where Rose had been sitting earlier that day. Now he knew treatment of post-traumatic stress wasn't on his résumé, but he had to deal with that also. He moved away towards his tent, leaving her sitting there, faced turned to his retreating back
After Jack left Kate returned to the crowd. Another hour passed before it was over. One by one the group broke. Michael and Walt, Charlie and Claire, Locke. They all went their separate ways, getting ready to settle down for the night.
Ignoring Sawyer, Kate went over to the good doctor's tent. Inside she could hear Jack moving around. She had hoped he would have gone to sleep, but no such luck. She would just have to convince him, then. Entering the tent she realized he was rummaging through the bottles of medicine and syringes, taking inventory. She wondered if he would ever use any of it on himself, should the need arise. She had a feeling he wouldn't. He glanced over his shoulder at her before continuing.
"Everything alright over there?" he called after she had been standing there for little over a minute. Her smile matched his as she replied.
"Just wanted to see how you were holding up," he frowned at her slightly, though the smile remained on his face. He let out a breathy laugh.
"I'm holding up just fine thank you." Silence for another minute. She hadn't moved from the tent flap. "Uh- was there something you needed, Kate?"
She finally moved from her stationary position at the entrance. A change had come over her, as if she had finally decided on something that had been plaguing her. He noticed and stood up straighter, turning towards her as she approached.
"Take off your shirt," his eyes widened at her order.
"My- my shirt? Why do you want my shirt?" she smiled brightly at him.
"Not for any of the reasons your thinking of," she laughed softly as he blushed. "I want to see how those stitches are doing."
"I thought I was the doctor?" He was smiling again.
"Must be difficult to check your self when you can't see the wound. Tale off your shirt and turn around." she repeated with a mock air of impatience. When he still stood stock still she took it out of his hands and began unbuttoning it for him. He shuddered as her finger tips brushed his exposed skin. Before she could get past the third button, he grabbed her wrists and cocked an eyebrow.
"I can undress myself." She motioned with her hands.
"Go on, then," folding her arms under her chest, she tapped her foot as he gingerly peeled off the dirty garment. She gave his left shoulder a slight shove, and he took the hint and turned his back to her. He couldn't suppress a gasp as she pressed the still tender wound.
"Sorry," she mumbled, inspecting the large cut. It appeared to be healing, but there was a large amount of redness around it. "That must itch like a bitch," he laughed.
"That's like calling this island isolated."
"I can put a cold cloth on it, ease the burn."
"No, I'm fine. No need to waste fresh water." Yep, she was right. She was now certain he had not used any pain medication, despite the fact she had seen him wincing and it was giving him obvious discomfort. She shook her head and gave him a look that left no room for arguing as she got up to find a piece of cloth. Thankfully he didn't argue. She poured some water into a makeshift bowl and soaked the cloth, before ringing it to get rid of any excess water. She folded it neatly before softly pressing it to his skin. The cool water eased the burn, and Jack sighed heavily, bowing his head slightly.
"Damn, that feels good." She smiled at his obvious pleasure, then flipped the fabric over onto its other side, renewing the cooling effect. She repeated this several times, dipping the cloth into the bowl, ringing it, and gently placing it on his back.
Jack had closed his eyes and was enjoying the occasional brush of her hand against his bare back when she removed the cloth for the last time. He tried not to show his disappointment as the itch slowly began to return, though more subdued than before.
Kate wanted to think up a reason to stay, liking the fact that Jack now sat shirtless and crossed legged before her, facing opposite. She wasn't quite sure when they had sat down, but she was now kneeling in front of his broad back and decided she had to do something. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she saw his head rise but he didn't move away from her. She rubbed her thumbs in slow circles at the nape of his neck, around the area she had seen him rubbing earlier. She gently applied pressure as she located one of the many knots, smiling when he groaned softly.
"Kate, you don't have to do this."
"I know." There seemed to be an unspoken agreement in those words, a hidden meaning. He reached a hand up and entwined fingers with her for a brief moment. He squeezed a silent thank you, knowing that this broke some invisible barrier between them. Releasing his hand, she continued to knead the tense neck muscles, before moving on to his broad shoulders, enjoying the feel of his smooth skin, so unlike his hands, which had been roughened by his labours on the island, collecting wood, venturing into the forest and foraging for any supplies he could salvage from the body of the wrecked plane. She gently eased him forward as she massaged lower on his back, avoiding the wound by his side. Reaching his lower back, she hit a wall of bunched muscles, twisted painfully from all the lifting he had to do recently. He gasped in pain a few times before she finally eased the muscles enough for the sliding and pressing of her fingers to be enjoyable again.
Kate thrilled at the small, sharp exhalations of breath emitting from his closed lips, the occasional groan. But, as they say, all good things must come to an end. When she had finished unknotting the mess formerly known as his back she balanced on the balls of her feet. She made a ticklish grab for the side that wasn't injured and laughed at his yelp of surprise as he bolted upright, then lost his balance and fell onto his back. He barely winced at the twinge in his side, the feel of her hands still lingering and dispersing any real pain.
She covered her mouth as she realized he was extremely ticklish. Who would have thought that their fearless hero would be so jumpy?
"Hey!" He cried indignantly, secretly enjoying her playfulness. He tried to stifle a yawn. Her face turned serious.
"You should really get some sleep, Jack."
"Will you stay with me? I might sleep easier if I had some company." She searched his eyes for any hidden agenda. Seeing none she nodded her head slowly and watched as he reached for his discarded shirt.
"You can leave it off," she placed a hand over his. Looking up at her, he again entwined fingers with her as she helped him up and lead him over to his makeshift bed.
"Kate," before she could lay down he brushed his lips against hers softly, almost shyly. She smiled against his lips and deepened the kiss slightly. Breaking apart they smiled nervously at each other and lay down. Jack pulled up the airline blanket over them and felt Kate snuggle closer, sprawled half on top of him, her head tucked under his chin. Her hand moved down to trace the hair that lead from his belly button to the most interesting of places. A wave of happiness over took him. What had started off as a really bad day had turned into something he would never have imagined. A genuine grin spread over his face for the first time since he had been sent to look for his father. He remembered a song he used to listen to as a teenager, sixteen or so. He laughed at his next thought.
"What's so funny?" Kate lifted her head to look at him. Jack placed a hand on her neck and gently nudged her into place again. He kissed the top of her head.
"You're my salted peanuts."
Authors note: Bit of a bad ending but my mind drew a blank as to a better one. Hope someone enjoyed it. Thank you for taking the time to read.
Kai.
