House Warming

Written for the Jello Challenge for this month. Keyword: Lemonade.

Summary: Jane finds himself in the uncomfortable predicament of having to take one of his colleagues to his malibu mansion.

Disclaimers & A/Ns: I've only seen the first season so character attributes and relationships may not be consistent with later episodes.

On the back of the latest warehouse bust, Lisbon was feeling extremely dizzy and tired. She mentally kicked herself for not being more careful this week.

"Boss, are you OK?" Van Pelt asked concerned for her boss.

"Yes, er... go check on Susan at the safe house." Lisbon turned to the others. "Cho keep Jane away from McWilliams. Rigsby ring around and see if you can get a better history of the victim."

"Keep me away from what?" Jane asked as he walked up behind Lisbon.

"From everything." She snapped.

"OK, I'll just be on my way." He turned to walk away.

"Where do you think you're going?" Lisbon demanded.

"Staying away from everything like you asked." Jane grinned.

"Are you sure you don't want aspirin?" Van Pelt reached into her pocket to offer her one.

"No." Lisbon replied, louder than usual which indicated that she had a humungous headache. "No meds."

"Come on. Let's get you in the car." Jane opened the door to their vehicle.

"No way." Lisbon replied stubbornly. "I'm driving."

"Not unless you want us to hit a tree, you're not." Jane told her evenly.

Cho and Rigsby, who had been busy apprehending the suspect and shoving him into their SUV, came over to see what was going on.

"Is she alright?" Rigsby asked.

"She's fine. She just has her periods." Cho replied in his usual matter of fact manner and dead pan voice.

"Er... I think ill would have sufficed." Jane stuck his head out from behind the car.

Meanwhile Van Pelt was trying to help Lisbon into her seat.

"I know how to put on a seatbelt." Lisbon tried to wave her off, but for once, Van Pelt ignored her boss and continued to strap her in.

"She'll be fine." Said Jane, always the positive one.

"We'd hope so. She's got a court hearing to go to tomorrow." Rigsby reminded everyone.

"One of you guys can go on her behalf." Jane replied.

"She doesn't take sick leave." Said Cho, which was true. Lisbon was always around no matter how sick she was.

"She will when I hypnotise her." Jane remarked.

Van Pelt came over and whispered. "You're not really going to hypnotise her, are you?"

"Nah, relax. She just needs a bit of a rest. That's all." Jane smiled.

"Just because I'm in the car, does not mean I can't hear you." Lisbon called out from her seat.

"Unfortunately." Jane muttered under his breath.

"We'll meet you guys back at Sacramento." Cho called out as he and Rigsby turned to head back to the SUV.

"Er... we might be a bit late." Said Jane as he opened the door on the driver's side.

"Where's Van Pelt?" Asked Rigsby.

"She went back to the warehouse to get something." Cho informed him.

Jane strapped on his seatbelt and prepared for the long drive ahead.


"I'm going to throw up." Lisbon moaned.

"I thought so." Jane replied as he pulled over on the side of the highway.

Lisbon got out of the car on wobbly legs, stood over the grass and hurled. Nothing came out but the cool evening breeze helped to relieve her queasiness. Lisbon was not usually a carsick person, but as she was already sick getting into the car, the long drive just made it worse. It was too cold to keep the windows down so Jane had turned on the heater to try to make her more comfortable.

"Localise the pain." Said Jane, coming up from behind her.

Lisbon hated being seen in a moment of weakness, especially by Jane.

"Stay in the car." Lisbon replied. "I'm nearly done."

"Centre yourself." Jane continued talking to her softly, his voice a soothing lullaby. "Take a deep breath. Relax your muscles. Close your eyes."

He would have held her shoulders to steady her but he did not want to add to her embarrassment.

"Your pain comes and goes in cycles. Characterise the cycle. Animate it in your mind. Pain peaks when the animal that you fear most takes the stage. Picture him clearly in your mind. Experience the pain."

This was a little bit cruel but necessary for therapy to work. Lisbon clutched her tummy as the association between physical pain and mental trauma intensified.

"Pain troughs when the animal you love most takes the stage. Picture her clearly in your mind. Experience the tingling sensation."

Lisbon's posture relaxed slightly. She could see the puppy and she felt wonderful as her pain lessened.

"Watch the animals dance. The animal of your phobia will try to come back when you are in pain. Concentrate on your favourite animal. Fill your mind with his presence, and his presence only." Jane continued to instruct her.

Even with her eyes closed, Jane could see the strength of her concentration in her face.

"Don't forget to breathe out. Let your body relax. Then breathe in again." Jane tried to get her into a steady rhythm. The combination of psychological and physiological remedies was working well in the absence of drugs.

Jane had stopped talking. He went over to check on the traffic. The highway was still fairly populated, but less than it had been half an hour ago.

"You ready for another drive?" He asked Lisbon.

"Yeah." Lisbon nodded.

Jane opened her door for her.

Lisbon opened her eyes. She took in her surroundings as if for the first time.

"Thanks." She acknowledged to Jane, who smiled warmly in response.

"Ow." She clutched her tummy as the pain came back.

"You'll have to keep picturing that puppy dog." Jane reminded her.

"How did you know it was a puppy?" She asked in amazement.

"Lucky guess." He replied.

Lisbon doubted it was a guess at all.


Back on the road, Jane did some quick mental calculations. They were two hours out from Sacramento, and only fifteen minutes from Malibu. If he drove her back to CBI, she would at best fall asleep at her desk and at worst throwing up all over the place and shouting at everyone. If he drove into Malibu...

Away from her office, she would fall asleep more easily, but...

Every since Michelle and Angela's death, Jane had never had guests over at his house. Not that Lisbon was really in any state to see much. By morning, she probably won't even remember how she got to Jane's house.


In no time at all it seemed, Jane was driving up the familiar driveway to the mansion that he owned. He wasn't really conscious of having made that decision at all. It seemed that, one minute he was navigating the highway and trying to decide where to take Lisbon, and the next minute, he was already at his house.

The heat of the heater, the bumps and movements of the car, the lull of the classical music that Jane had put on at low volume and the fact that she had not really slept much in the past fifty two hours, all combined to produce a very drowsy Lisbon.

Jane got over to her side of the car, opened the door and unbelted her. Then he gently pulled her up. She was awake enough to know that she was being moved and to support her own weight and meander in the direction that she was being taken but too sleepy to really say much.

Jane helped her up the stairs and eventually she became conscious enough to shake him off and use the hand railings for support. She had no idea where she was, although she knew that she was with Jane. Her mind was still too tired to really care. As long as Jane was with her, she felt safe.

Jane led her into the kitchen and sat her down in a little chair. He gave her some lemonade and told her to wait while he put the kettle on.

As she sipped her lemonade, she gradually came to realise that she was sitting in someone's kitchen.

"Where am I?" She asked.

"In my house." He replied, matter-of-factly.

"In your..." She looked around and understood. "Nice house." She didn't really know what to say as it was a very empty house.

"Thank you." Said Jane, his voice echoing in the void.

This was one of the few houses not brand new that still echoed occasionally in the bigger rooms.

Lisbon was surprised that he even had lemonade as he seemed to be a tea only drinker.

With the water boiled, he made both of them a cup of tea.

"Thanks." Lisbon cradled her tea.

"Wait here." Jane instructed.


The next morning, Lisbon woke up on a thinly sheeted mattress under a little blanket, which she suspected may have once belonged to a child, and a large folded up jacket acted as a pillow.

"Where..." She looked around. She was in a large empty room, save for the mattress.

To her right was a doorway that led into the kitchen.

"Jane?"

No one answered.

She got up quickly and looked out the window. It was looking slightly overcast.

She went into the kitchen. Her belongings were piled up on the chair that she had sat in the previous night. She searched for her phone. The screen lit up: 9:00. Damn it, she was supposed to be in court in less than an hour.

She called Cho. "Tell me that McWilliams confessed."

"Yep, Minelli's going through the paperwork now as we speak."

"Thank God." She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank Jane." Cho replied.

"Jane? Jane's with you?"

"No, he er... conference called during the interrogation." Said Cho, sounding amused.

"He what?"

"Hey Lisbon." Jane entered the kitchen carrying a large brown bag. "I got breakfast for you."

Lisbon held up her hand to indicate that she did not want to be disturbed. "Is Van Pelt back from the safe house?"

"Yes she is." Cho replied. "But she says that Susan's not ready to leave the safe house just yet."

"That's fine. I need to..."

"It's OK, the hearing's been postponed." Cho informed her.

"It's been what?" Lisbon asked in disbelief.

"They've moved it to this afternoon, so you have plenty of time to get here."

Lisbon got off the phone and glared at Jane.

"That was convenient." She remarked. "The hearing got moved aye?"

"What are you looking at me for, I was here the whole night." Jane replied. "I only went out a couple of minutes ago to get breakfast, that's all."

Lisbon didn't say anything. She took a muffin off Patrick and sat down on the chair.

Jane was reading through the news reports on his mobile phone.

Half way through her muffin, she sat up.

"You drugged me." She accused.

"I gave you tea and lemonade." Jane replied.

"That must've been some pretty strong lemonade."

Jane smiled in his usual affirming manner.