Origin of Sexy Jutsu
Chapter 1: M and the clamor of the dumpster
Authors note: Hi fan-fiction this is my first story on fan-fiction. I've been thinking about how Jiraiya's spy network might work for a few months now. And then put it together with how I thought Naruto might bump into it.
This is not a Minato/ Kushina escape the seal or help Naruto story or a friend Kyūbi story. I just don't like how everyone ignores that they are always with Naruto watching everything he does. And I like to use them for comic relief. Plus Kushina is Awesome.
Also I do not have a pairings as of yet because Naruto is five in my story right now. If this story lasts long enough for Naruto to become a genin then I will take any reasonable suggestions for a pairing. Only rule is anyone paired with Naruto can't be younger than him by two years or older than him by five years. I am will to tweak the age of the character (within reason) to accommodate if a certain character becomes more popular.
I'm rating this story M for safety. Please review. I will update the next chapter when this story hits ten reviews. Thanks for reading.
Format
Normal Speech: I do not own Naruto.
Normal thoughts: I do not own Naruto.
Tailed Beast / Summons speech: I do not own Naruto.
Tailed Beast / Summons Thought: I do not own Naruto.
Reanimation/ dead (anything Edo-Tensei / Minato/ Kushina in seal) Speech: I do not own Naruto.
Reanimation/ dead (anything Edo-Tensei / Minato/ Kushina in seal) thought: I do not own Naruto.
Summary: Five years after the Kyūbi attack Naruto is living out on the streets and eating out of dumpsters. When a mysterious woman named M brings him into a slightly better life in the middle of Jiraiya's spy network.
Chapter 1: M and the clamor of the dumpster
After the Kyūbi attack the village was in shambles and the Third Hokage was forced to take over. The things fixed first in the village was the funeral for the lost, then the reconstruction of the village. Then the posturing that fallows an event like this in the ninja world. When things started to settle down the third was able to focus on a new problem. That problem was a little boy named Naruto.
The past few weeks fallowing the Kyūbi attack Naruto was in a place of safety either with the third himself, the nursery ward at the hospital or with Jiraiya. But things have changed over the past few weeks. Jiraiya left the village to keep the spy network running and to do a few side missions that needed his attention. The Third was now reinstated as the Hokage. And unfortunately the hospital was no longer an option because Naruto was no longer suffering from chakra poisoning as a result of the sealing. At the moment Naruto was in a small cradle under the hokage's desk away from the eyes of those that would cause him harm and unheard by anyone other than the Third due to a selective silencing seal.
At the moment the Third could think of two possible options of what to do with Naruto. Option number one, find a Shinobi or Kunoichi (preferably from ANBU or one of the Elites) that could be spared at the moment and task them with the care of Naruto until he is old enough to take care of himself. On top of the list of was his student Tsunade, followed by a few elites from the Thirds generation that were retired but still wanted to help their village after the currant disaster. The third decided to first try this option.
A Month later the third was disappointed when option number one ended up failing miserably. Tsunade to his surprise did come back to the village to give raising Naruto a try. But unfortunately after a month in the village she refused the job.
The third was saddened that things did not work out between Tsunade and the village mainly because when his student came back it really looked like she was going to try to stay. A day after he summoned her, she came to the village healed the people that were still injured and took care of Baby Naruto. It brought great joy to his heart and to Tsunades and many benefits for himself the village and little Naruto.
The village prospered from Tsunade's arrival. She took over the car of the fallen shinobi and the injured civilians in the hospital. Within a few weeks all of his injured shinobi were back in fighting condition. She wasn't running the hospital just healing the injured. But the shinobi she healed being back helped the village greatly and took a lot of pressure off the hokage's back. There was also the advantage of having two of the sannin in the village at all times to scare away any enemy that had thoughts of attacking. Tsunades mere presence in the village boosted moral.
The Hokage also personally benefited from Tsunade's presence in the village. Tsunade made time to see him when he had time for a break. Her visits with him and little Naruto helped fill the tired, stressed, and mourning hokage with feelings of family that helped fill some of the space in his heart that was left empty when his dear wife left him during the Kyūbi attack.
When she found out that her old teacher and his sons weren't even eating with him or each other. And couldn't even stand being in the same room with each other after the third was reinstated. She started the habit of dragging all three of the Sarutobi boys to senju clan compound and forcing them to eat a proper meal with her, Naruto and her apprentice. The third was sure if it wasn't for these forced nightly dinners he would have completely lost his family. Even now with Tsunade gone he was having trouble keeping his family together.
But Naruto was the one who benefitted the most from Tsunade being in the village. The whole month that Tsunade spent in the village everyone forgot that Naruto was the Kyūbi Jinchūriki. Many started to think that Naruto was Tsunade's son or grandson and treated him just like Tsunade and her brother were treated as children. There was also the fact that she spoiled Naruto in all of her free time. To Tsunade Naruto was the last link to her family.
Before the loss of her lover she wanted to start a family a big family. To many Tsunade was a ruff, uncaring, brute women that only cared about gambling and guzzling sake. But those who knew her knew differently. Tsunade was a ninja second and a nurturer first. This could be seen in the mother hen-ing of her brother, the love she had for Dan, the care and perfection she put in to the healing of the injured, the way she took in her apprentice when she was alone, the moments she would give food to a starving child and most recently it was shown in her care of Naruto.
Tsunade hid her bleeding heart behind her ruff exterior protecting herself from the loss that she had no more room to suffer. Sometimes the third felt guilty for making her a ninja; it only brought her pain and was never part of her dream. When Tsunade was growing up in the Senju clan she didn't want to be a ninja even though she looked up to her grandfather very much. Tsunade always wanted to be a healer. Over the years the pain of being a ninja and of her loved ones being a ninja slowly begain to tear at her heart and was still a fresh pain even a few months after the Kyūbi attack.
The month in the village she pushed aside the pain and the night mares of loved ones lost and tried to stay and fulfill her duty because she was needed. And because Naruto needed her and he could have very possibly be her only living family. But in the end the stain of being in the village was too much and she had to leave. She offered to take Naruto with her but that unfortunately was not an option due to a young Jinchūriki needing to stay in the village and the increased lack of security outside of the village.
The past week the third hokage had gone back to trying to take care of the child while he contacted the elites on his lists. While they did not hold any malic towards Naruto they all said no. There were many in the village that would hurt anyone and their family that would try to protect Naruto. There was also the possibility that Naruto could slightly lose it to the tailed best and send a partial or fully formed Kyūbi to attack their families. Many of the older elites retired to protect their families and taking in Naruto was not in their best interest.
Option one completely failing left the hokage to turn to option number two. Option number two was to have Naruto admitted to the orphanage recently built for all the orphans from the war and the Kyūbi attack with rotating ANBU squads to insure his security and fair treatment. Option number two could be easily implemented the only problem was it would cost a lot and the village orphan fund would not cover it. The orphan fund would cover the cost of his general care but not the security. Funding the ANBU team would be the problem.
The first place that the Third looked for the funds was the Hokage protection fund. This fund was put into purpose to fund the ANBU guards of the Hokage and the family of the Hokage. The third soon found that he could not use this fund due to Minato no longer being the active Hokage. It was then that the third remembered that this had been a problem sense the second Hokage's time when the first Hokage's three year old daughter was killed the day after her guards were dismissed. It was also a problem early on in his first rule of the village when Nawaki was targeted and killed in an attack on the village in the hopes that it would kill village moral in the war. The third realized this was a problem he wished he had fixed before. But realized trying fix it now would be too late for Naruto.
It was then that the third was able to find the funds for Naruto's security. He would have to pay for Naruto's protection with his inheritance from his parents. The Third looked at the picture of Minato's picture and knew that he would approve of his actions. At least until he could change the policies around the Hokage protection fund.
The very next day the third would be found in Minato's and Kushina's house dividing up their belongings between items to be sold to the highest bidder, things that were best keep by the hokage for village security and family heirlooms to be sealed and put aside for Naruto. Within the month all of the belongings of the forth hokage and his wife were sold or put away for safe keeping. Their house was sold to a family of nobles that bought the house out of the novelty of living in a place that was once the home of a hokage. And Naruto was left in the care of the Konohagakure no Sato's Little Leaf Orphanage with his ANBU guards made out of what was left of his parent's former guards and friends in ANBU.
This system lead to a happy life for Naruto he was sheltered and protected and thanks to his ANBU guards watch full eyes he was well treated by the workers at the orphanage. Other than being herded away from the other kids and the cold stares he received in public Naruto's early childhood was good for a Jinchūriki. The problem with this system was Naruto's inheritance did not last forever. By the time Naruto turned five all of his money was gone eaten away by paying the ANBU B-S rank guard missions to protect him.
The last thing that the hokage wanted to do was get rid of the gaud but he had no more options left. The hokage still had hope that the Naruto would be ok. The workers at the orphanage had keep quiet about Naruto living there and provided him with needed care. The third believed that Naruto's care would continue when the ANBU were not around. But the third still knew that Naruto would still need to be guarded by ANBU occasionally when he would be more prone to an attack. On these instances the third decided he would pay for the security of the boy he thought of as his grandchild he also was going to see if Jiraiya would help. He also had a few ANBU such as Kakashi volunteer to watch Naruto free of charge during times he was in danger. This left Naruto completely unprotected one week after his fifth birthday. _
Five years and three weeks after the Kyūbi attack
It had been a weird few weeks for Naruto. It had started out so well. It started with Naruto turning five and the third hokage personally taking him out for ramen. The third gave him a scroll on the hokage's and a starter kit all students get the year before they enter the academy to prepare them for what is expected of an academy student. Then when he came home in his room was a frog backpack and inside was a stuffed frog plushy he named Gama-sama and a frog wallet that Naruto named Gama-hime (predecessor to gama-chan). Beside the backpack was a pair of goggles and an orange shrunken and kunai holder filled with wooden shrunken and kunai. Naruto's last present wrapped in whirlpool wrapping paper was a set of child sized shinobi chainmail, old-fashioned shinobi armor and arm and risk grads, there was even a helmet. Naruto wondered how hurt someone thought he could get. Naruto thought that his shinobi gear was cool. The only thing he didn't like was the helmet. He gave that to one of the younger kids that was always tripping on his shoe laces.
Naruto spent that first week after his fifth birthday practicing his ninja skills with his starter kit and by going on adventures with Gama-sama to find and protect Gama-hime. Naruto even got a few of the ANBU to play along he would find one of them and give the ANBU -chan Gama-hime and they would hide with their cool ANBU jutsu then Naruto would look all over for them and when he found them he would throw his shrunken and kunai at them. They even complemented him when he found them. While Naruto didn't think this was special it amazed his ANBU and showed that he had great promise to be a sensory Ninja one day. As reword for his skill and as a good bye to Naruto the ANBU stay a little bit more out of the open to be with the child they had watched for years. This week became the best week of Naruto's life.
When the week was over Naruto was saddened when he looked for the ANBU and couldn't find them anymore he figured that they must have gotten in trouble for playing with him or that he must have done something wrong. Naruto was sad to see his friends' gone but decided to train extra hard to make them proud when they come back. His first day without ANBU guards passed for Naruto like any other. But while Naruto played, the staff of the Orphanage was holding a meeting. With the ANBU gone they saw it as their opportunity to get rid of Naruto. They decided that killing Naruto was not an option because even though the third hokage had dropped the ANBU guards he still cared deeply for Naruto and would visit him once every two weeks. Also only a select few of the workers wanted him dead many just did not want to be near the child that held the monster fox, others even liked Naruto but felt that he could be a danger to the other children. The workers of the orphanage decided that if the third was dropping Naruto's ANBU guard and would not remove Naruto to a care facility away from other children then they would have to remove Naruto from the premises.
That first night after the ANBU left one of the orphanage workers that liked Naruto packed up all of Naruto's belonging into his new backpack and added a sleeping bag and some ration bars that they give to kids for survival practice, she also added a big canteen so Naruto would be ok for at least the next few days. The second day after the ANBU left Naruto was carried far into the forest along with a group of nine and ten year olds from the orphanage who were on this trip to practice ninja skills. When they got to an open clearing near a stream Naruto was told he had to take a nap because he was the youngest and that if he wanted to participate then he would have to behave. While Naruto was napping the orphanage workers applied a gen-jutsu to the other children that showed Naruto pulling a prank that hurt one of the care givers and then running away saying that he would never come back. The care givers then brought all the children back to the orphanage and pretended to look for Naruto. When the third came in two weeks later they told him that Naruto was hiding from him because he was mad that the third took his ANBU friends away. The third believed this because he checked up on Naruto using his crystal ball the day after the ANBU left and found a upset Naruto looking for the ANBU. He also looked for Naruto in his crystal ball the day of the missed visit and saw Naruto in the woods practicing his kunai throwing and asking Gama-hime what she thought the ANBU -chans were doing. Seeing Naruto fine playing with his birthday presents the third hokage continued his belief that Naruto was fine.
Two days after hokage's visit to the Orphanage and two and a half weeks after Naruto was kicked out of the orphanage
It was one of the rare rainy cold nights in the leaf village it was making the normally bright street of Konohagakure's red light district dull and grey the only light that could be seen came from the garden among the leaves pub. On this night Naruto has left the safety of his hide out on a quest to find food. Seeing the light up flowers Naruto wrongly assumes that the building is a flower shop and decides that it is safe to try to find some food in their trash. Using a few crates besides the trash can as a make shift ladder Naruto opens up the lid and falls into the trash. This fortunately or unfortunately makes a loud banding noise that is herd from inside of the pub. Naruto then starts to rummage through the trash finding treasures and putting them in his bag for later use. He then finds a bottle of sake and starts to drink it, causing an avalanche of garbage to fall in on him. This then draws the attention of a few of the pub workers.
The manager a woman called M leaves the establishment to see who was in her garbage bin. She draws a kunai thinking that it's the costumer from last week who after having a little too much to drink thought he was under attack from enemy ninja and that the best place to hide was her trash bin. He then attacked one of her staff when they opened the lid to take out the trash. The idiot thinking said worker was the enemy ninja tried to blow her up with a explosive tag. It took a whole squad of ANBU to get said idiot away from her trash bin.
M silently and slowly approached the trash bin then called out to intruder/ drunken idiot. "Maroi you drunken idiot get out of my trash and go home before I call the ANBU and have them beat you to bloody pulp and bring you to the ANBU detox cell. Your wife's not on a mission this time so she'll know you've been here and in an ANBU cell when you get out shell murder you."
Very quickly the lid to the trash bin flew up and Naruto attempted to make his escape. Only to be grabbed by M. He squirmed to get free but when that didn't work he decided to plead for mercy. "Please let me go. I'm not Maroi. I don't even know who Maroi is. I'm sorry if you let me go I'll go away and never come back. Just please don't call the ANBU I don't want to go to jail. I promise that you will never see me again."
M looked down at the brat that was pleading for her mercy. He was wearing a mud covered t-shirt that was two sizes two big and had several tares and a matching mud covered pair of shorts. By his feet was a small child sized backpack filled will appeared to be garbage from her bin. She then saw the whisker marks on the boy and instantly knew that this little boy was the container of the nine tailed fox demon the creature that ended her career in ANBU.
Five years ago during the Kyūbi attack M was in ANBU and a part of the response team to delay the Kyūbi. During the attack she tried to save a civilian a one year old boy named Lee By blocking the Kyūbi chakra from hitting him. M's Body absorbed most of the Kyūbi chakra. But as a rest she recived serious chakra poisoning and the almost complete destruction of her chakra coils. If she ever uses any amount of chakra for anything it would result of the complete shutdown of her chakra coils and her death. The little boy was lucky enough to get away with only being damaged enough that he couldn't use his chakra for nin-jutsu or gen-jutsu.
Her injurious caused her to lose her spot in ANBU. It was thanks to Jiraiya that she was able to keep her presence in the shinobi world. When she was in ANBU she used to be a part of the special assignation, espionage and intelligent unit. This unit while still a part of ANBU was also a part of another division of the leaf. This division was known as Jiraiya's Girls the men in this organization were trying to get it changed to the secret leaf. But Jiraiya liked the first name better.
This organization formed the majority of Jiraiya's spy network. Jiraiya's Girls was made out of the children that failed the seconded genin exam and showed little to no skill in the ninja arts but still wanted to be a part of the shinobi system. Their counter parts that failed but needed a revamp on a few skills were either sent back to repeat the last year of the academy or sent to boot camp to have a complete over hall of their skills. The education of the men and women in Jiraiya's Girls covered how to masterfully preform a civilian job, how to get information while on their civilian cover and how to expertly get that information out to their report center without getting caught. Many thought these men and women could only be found in the bars and slut houses Jiraiya liked to frequent but they really were found everywhere. They could be your waitress, your mail man, the women in the flower shop the secretary or assistant to royalty. Jiraiya's Girls were everywhere and they keep Jiraiya well informed.
After the Kyūbi attack Jiraiya offered M a position as head of his spy network in Kohona this position was also more commonly known as the manager of the garden among the leaves pub. He also offered her a teaching position in his education center for his spy network. Now instead of being an elite ninja in ANBU she spent her days teaching winy brats stealth and how to fuck people for information or whatever else the village required. Her nights were spent managing trainees and retirees around the pub as they screwed the civilians and the elites alike for the dirt on the village. And meet with the customers that were secret plants across the village to gather their info. Her day ended with her sending her girls to bed at four o'clock in the morning and filling out a report of all the relevant information to give to the toad on her desk to deliver to Jiraiya.
M's life was nowhere near where she thought she would be at this point in her life but it wasn't bad. Did she think she would ever be Queen of the sluts in Kohona. Defiantly not. She was sure her dreams had something to do with ANBU and a latter retirement to the T&I department. But all and all her life was not bad. So when she looked at the cold little boy that housed the creature that was responsible for her currant life she decided to show him mercy.
M looked at Naruto and then barked. "Boy why were you in my trash." She waited and no answer. She tightened her grip on Naruto's arm and hissed. "Boy you have until the count of three, until I call ANBU and have them find you a nice cell. One. Two."
Naruto's face became red and he started to panic his eyes started to glossen threatening tears. He began to plead fear the dark cold ANBU cell. "I'm sorry. I was hungry. I was looking for food. Please let me go."
M glared at Naruto and spoke with and annoyed tone. "Does my trash bin look like a restaurant to you? Where's whoever takes care of you and why aren't they feeding you?"
As M grip titened and her glare spoke nothing but promised pain if he misspoke Naruto stated to break down and lose his cool. "They left me in the woods and I can't find my way back. I've been by myself forever. And. And I was hungry and I just wanted to eat. I'm Sorry I took food from your trash bin. And I've been trying to… I've been trying to get to the old man to get help. But the shinobi-san won't let me into his office. And, and, and." Naruto started to sob by the time he said I'm Sorry and started to look like a water fountain.
"Brat I asked you why you were eating my garbage I did want your whole sob story. And who's this old man you're talking of if he cares about you go find him and eat his garbage." Said M. She did not know how to respond to crying kids.
"The old man hokage. He sometimes brings me for ramen." Said Naruto. As he started to control his tears due to the thought of ramen.
M responded to Naruto with a know it all tone; "Brat no wonder the shinobi aren't letting you see the hokage. He's the hokage he doesn't have time in his day to day life for you. You're a five year old brat the hokage has a village to run not a day care. Now I can't get you an appointment with the hokage but I can get you out of the rain and give you some food until I figure out what to do with you. Fallow me brat don't get lost or dawdle or I really will call the ANBU." M could not believe that she just offered the bot food and shelter what was she his mother.
Naruto fallowed M into what looked like the kitchen of the establishment only to be stopped by M when he arrived two steps into the door. "Brat stay here while I find some way to get you clean without you messing up the sparkling floors". Naruto looked at his spot on the floor and became perfectly still. He thought of making a run for it but feared the ANBU cell. Besides that women promised him food and he was really hungry. He decided that he would stay and did his best not to move because even though that woman did not look like the people that would try to hurt him. She defiantly did not look like the kindly women that normally took care of children his age. He decided that the best thing that he could do was stay still and wait. The only problem was that to his newly five year old mind she was taking forever.
Meanwhile Inside seal
"Minato I am going to kill Jiraiya." An irate Kushina screamed at a wary Minato.
"Kushina I don't think this is Jiraiya sensei's fault." Pleaded Minato.
"Minato did you flash around so much with your flash light jutsu that you scrambled your brains instead of the enemy. This is completely Jiraiya's fault. That is one of the women from Jiraiya's slut squad and she just brought our son, my darling baby boy who is barley five into the slut den and bar. And you're telling me it's not Jiraiya's fault. Everyone knows that the secret slut spy brigade fallows Jiraiyas commands like the ANBU fallow the Hokages." Continued Kushina.
Somewhere in this little speech Kushina entered full on Red Hot-Blooded Habanero mode and was somehow holding the feared forth hokage off the ground. Minato then made the mistake to speak back to Kushina; "Kushina lets be reasonable the nice woman from Jiraiya sensei's spy network just found Naruto trying to drink sake out of the garbage. She's probably just going to take him inside to give him something to eat while she tries to get in contact with Jiraiya or the Hokage. Naruto's only been on the streets for a few weeks I'm sure Jiraiya sensei would have Naruto brought to himself or the third if he knew that Naruto was missing. This is probably just a big miss understanding. Maybe by tomorrow Naruto will even be in the thirds office." But what the former hokage was really thinking was; "I sacrifice my life, my wifes life and my child for this village. They call me a hero. Have a day to celebrate me. Yet they repay me by kicking my kid out into the cold. And letting him get so hungry that he's drinking sake out of the dumpster at five. How the hell does no one notice that my kids been missing for weeks. If I ever get out of her I'll sick Kushina on them. Ok maybe Kushinas a little to much maybe Ill just show them the second use of the Hiraishin no Jutsu. Then I'm taking Naruto out to eat. Hes starting to get skinny. I'm Really sorry Naruto for all the hardships I've made you suffer."
Unfortunately for Minato his defense of his sensei and his sensei's spy network caused Kushina to go into stage two of Red Hot-Blooded Habanero mode the nine tails impersonation stage. In this stage her hair floats in the air and forms nine tail shaped strands, her eyes went red, her voice become demonic and everything around her turn's red to her victim's eyes. She spoke sending a cold chill down Minato's back.
"Reasonable. A misunderstanding. Of course Minato I completely agree we should be reasonable and help fix this little misunderstanding. I'm going to get out of here save my little Naru-chan from whatever Jiraiya's play things have in mind. Then I'm going to hug him and kiss him and feed him something that is not sake. Then I'm going to find our dear Jiraiya sensei and clear up his misunderstanding of what the role of the God father is. I Think I'm going to have a long painful discussion over what is the duty of the God father. Now are you going to help me Minato or do you have something to say." Roared Kushina.
After many years with Kushina Minato learned that the only way to survive was to do as Kushina said and hope you had her mercy and that she would not enter the dreaded tomato mode. The Number one rule of dealing with Kushina is that she always gets to win the arguments. Minato gave up and asked his wife; "What do you need me to do."
Kushina then left Red Hot-Blooded Habanero mode and said with her most commanding and sweetest tone that was saved only for when she was giving her husband his chore list. "You Minato are going to use some of thatNamikaze genius and figure out a way to hot wire the Hiraishin no Jutsu and whatever we have in the seal to get us out of here. Then you figure out how we get a physical form on the outside and not die our first ten seconds out. Also if you could get those physical bodies to work just like our old ones that would be really great. Remember we have a limited amount of chakra to work with and no chance for do-overs. Now you go work your magic while I figure out how to punish Jiraiya. I mean while I plan my long talk with Jiraiya. Yeah that's what I meant. Then I'm going to make a long list of all the other people I'm going to talk to."
It was at this point that a grumpy giant fox was woken up from its slumber and decided to remind its roommates that he needed his beauty and that he could easily eat them or cause Naruto to heal in a way that left scars. "Hey red witch keep it down in there I'm trying to sleep in here. I need my energy if I going to cure all of the diseases that your sons going to pick up in this place. So shut up or come in her so, me and you can have a little fight to the death like the good old days."
Kushina then pumped her hands in the air and hollered at the big fuzz ball. "You shut it you fox I'm too busy right now to tightly chain your ass to the floor. I'm trying to figure out the best way to castrate Jiraiya and best way to slowly kill him for what he has done to my son."
The angered fox then felt the need to threaten his extra roommate; "Queen of the tomato's if you ever found your way into my cage to fight me the only way that it could end is you under my feet forming a bloody red stain. But if you're talking about how to punish humans I am up to debate a few ideas. For instance put grandpa under a genjutsu were he thinks he's fulfilling whatever fantasy he has with the blond women with the watermelons. Then drug him up so he can't feel a thing. Cut off his man hood. Then have the genjutsu turn into him doing whatever with the real grandma version of the blond drunk. Then add another genjutsu so he does not notice that his little friend is not there. Then cook his man hood and make him eat it. That's just An Idea for starters."
Kushina using her most regal tone mix with the tone of voice she saves for prank planning told the fox; "First off I am not the Queen of the Tomatoes. But if you feel the need to address me as aQueen than my Queen or my goddess or my liege works just fine. Second why weren't you this useful when you were sealed in me."
The fox then growled at the mere thought of being useful to a human. " My job is not to be useful to you flesh bag. I am just bored and need something to kill time. If by some small consequence that makes me of use to you well it will be worth it if I ever get to hear the glorious sounds of a flesh bag screaming. And of course I'm full of advice on how to best harm you squishes I've had a lot of time to think".
"Kyūbi where has this side of you been all my life and do you think his shrived old man prune would make good ramen." Said Kushina.
It was at this point and time that Minato began to feel sorry for whoever was on Kushinas naughty list. He also wondered if he should be worried over her new found relationship with the Kyūbi. He then gave up trying to figure out what the outcome of Kushina's plans would be and started to see if there was even a way to meet Kushina's demands simply because there was nothing else to do and because he feared what Kushina would do to him if he didn't try. Also he had Naruto and the masked man to think about. The rest of the night was filled with Kushina and the nine tails coming up with their plans and Minato working on what was most likely an impossible way to break out of seal and not die. Minato would have a lot of frustrated nights ahead of him only broken up by the frequent updates from Naruto fallowed by Kushina's wrath and demand that he hurry it up.
Back at the Garden among the leaves
A few minutes later M reappeared with a bar rag that she used to grab Naruto and carry him up to the third floor of the pub and dropped him into a tub of water.
"Brat if you want to eat you will use that bar of soap and scrub every inch of your body clean. Then you'll take your clothes and scrub them until their clean. I do not want mud all over my floors. If I find you with even the smallest speck of mud on you then I will send you back outside and you'll get nothing to eat do I make myself clear." Said M.
"Yes ma'am". Said Naruto already making the water soapy to prove he under stood. He really did not want to lose his chance at getting food.
"Good I'll see you down stairs". Said M. Who left to deal with the other problems she would have to deal with that night. She was sure one of the drama queens was crying over broken mascara or that someone was an idiot and invited their boyfriend to come and watch them work. Why they thought that was a good idea she would never know. She then wondered if you're supposed to leave a five year old alone in the tub. She surged this thought away with the thought of if the kid could survive out on the street with all of the people that wanted to kill him then he could survive a few minutes with a little bit of water and soap. She then wondered for the seventeenth time that night when she decided to run a day care and worry about little kids. She decided that it must come from working with her girls they all act like baby half the time. They certainly found a lot to whine about.
Naruto hurried and washed his clothes. Then hung them on the side of the tub to dry. They with still not the right color but that was due to over use, being exposed to the environment and not being washed with the right kind of soap. But the mud was gone and they were clean even if they didn't look it. Naruto hoped out of the tub and put on his damp clothes and hurried down to the kitchen he entered earlier that night. He saw the lady who promised him food and happily cheered "I'm all clean now can I have my food please. By the way my name's Uzumaki Naruto. Is my food ready yet? I hope its ramen."
M looked at Naruto like she was deciding if she should or shouldn't swat the fly the keeps flying around her. "Brat you can call me M. And if you want your food then you have to promise me that you will work for it afterwards. I'm not running a soup kitchen. I don't give out food from the bottom of my heart."
M put the plate of sandwiches and a glass of water on the table in front of Naruto and watched as he gulped down the food like a hungry dog. It was then that she remembered that Jiraiya wanted all info gathered on Naruto sent to him. She was reprimanded when she didn't report an incident were Naruto bought some candy from one of the plants in the village. She realized then that she should probably find a way to keep Naruto in one spot until she could contact Jiraiya and find out what he wants her to do about him. And unfortunately for her the best way to keep him in one place was to keep him close until she received an order from Jiraiya.
M went to the counter and grab Naruto a few more sandwiches seeing as he was almost done with his pile. And held the just slightly out of reach. "You know brat I think I might have a way to solve your problem. My boss happens to be one of the people who looks out for you like the Hokage. You stay here and work and I'll feed you and let you sleep in one of the rooms up stairs until I can contact him and until he gets here. If you say yes then you have food and shelter for the near future. When he gets here he'll find out what to do with you. If worst comes to worst he was the student of the hokage and can ask about who is supposed to be watching you. I mean there's got to be someone out there looking for you and if you really don't have a place to go maybe I'll let you keep our deal and stay here. If you decide you want to except find me in the morning. If you want to leave, than tomorrow leave. But tonight you owe me for dinner so you will be washing my dishes until every dish in my pantry sparkles. Now finish eating and get to work."
In the time it took M to finish speaking Naruto gulped down his last sandwich and chugged what was left of his glass of water. He then hurried to sink and started to wash the many glasses that keep coming throughout the night. As he washed the contents of the sink he thought about what M said. He was amazed that someone besides the old man and the ANBU chans cared about him. He wondered if he should take the deal.
At five o'clock in the morning Naruto finished washing the last glass and started to fall asleep on the sink. It was then M came in looking for him to tell him that it was time for him to call it a night. M picked up Naruto and placed him on a bed in one of the spare rooms on the third floor of the pub. Just when she was about to close the door Naruto sleepy voice spoke. "M I'll take the deal. I'll wait for our boss to come."
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Posted 2/27/2014
