Title: It's for the better

Disclaimer: I own nothing but this fanfic.


Prologue

Callie's POV

Life is so much more difficult than you thought of as a kid. There's that word again. Kids. No matter what thoughts I have in my head… They always lead me back to her.

It's pure irony. She works with kids. I break and re-build bones. But I want kids, and she definitely has made it clear that she doesn't want them in her womb or in her house.

I've tried… So hard. I've tried my best not to want kids for her sake. I tried changing for her. But I know deep down that I'll always want kids. It might not be right now, but I know for sure that someday, I would want kids. And she didn't seem to share the same thoughts I had about how wonderful being a mother could be. It isn't as if I didn't try to understand. I tried, I really did. That seemed to have led to the end of our relationship. Trying. We were always trying.

Then one day, I was sick of trying. Trying to pretend that I honestly did not want kids if it meant I could be with her. And now I'm here. Crying in Mark Sloan's arms because I just walked away from the love of my life.


Flashback to the end of the shooting.

"People died. People are dead."

She stared at me while I said those words. I looked right back into those gorgeous blue eyes intently. Trying to find something, anything. But they were closed off to me. And it was then that I decided that I had to stop 'trying'.

"I love you. Everything about you."

Silence.

"But I don't want you to change just because of me. I want you to change for you."

I walked away without looking back.

Arizona never held me back.

And the hot tears fell down my cheeks.


"Are you feeling better now?"

"Yea… thanks Mark."

My lie slipped smoothly off my lips. I knew he could tell I was lying. But he didn't have the energy to argue with me.

We continue to sit in silence. Neither able to say a word. I knew he was thinking about Lexie and he knew I was thinking about Arizona.

We were both broken. Broken by the people we loved. People who were either not ready to commit to a relationship or having a family with kids. A shooter was at the hospital. People died. We could have died. Yet, here we were, sitting down. A luxury Reed or Percy no longer have.

"Do you think we're doing the right thing?"

"Letting them go?" Mark still had his head down. He looked so defeated and… just broken.

"Yea."

I needed someone to tell me that what I was doing was okay. Anyone.

"I don't know."

Even Mark did not have the answers. We were broken before. Sex used to make us feel better. But our minds were far away from any thoughts of sex. It seemed to have been able to help with our pain then, but now, it barely made an entrance into our thoughts.

"It's for the better."

And again, I tried to convince myself that everything that happened up till now, was for the better.


This is my first attempt at a multi-chapter fic. I'm still writing fluff for my collection of one-shots but I wanted to try something darker and probably more dramatic.

Let me know if it's worth continuing?

=)