I don't recommend punching anyone in the nose. It hurts like a bitch.

He deserved it, though, and because he deserved it, I suffered the ache of my knuckles and the regret that I didn't hit him hard enough to break it. How dare he show his face to me, again? How dare he look at me with those eyes, as though he really meant it when he asked me to wait for him and as if he really wanted to touch my heart.

I started to sink into his oceans of green and had to pull myself back out. I used my anger as a buoy and pulled myself to the surface, then kicked as hard as I could to the shore. I had to get away from him. I couldn't hold the anger looking at him.

Standing across the room, I waited for him to say something. He had to want something from me. They always did. All along, he'd played me, charmed me, so he could break his brother out of prison. So he could break out six other thieves and murderers. He used me, and if he were planning to do it again, I wasn't going to stand close enough to him to give him the opportunity. I had to be stronger than that.

But, he didn't say anything. He just stared at me, guilt flooding the surface of his eyes. Guilt that he had ruined my life. But, beneath that guilt was something else. Something that I couldn't name, but that, if I tried, I could, and I was afraid to name it. Because if I named it, then I would have to admit that anger wasn't the only emotion that I held inside. That, when I looked at him, all of the anger that I possessed away from him wasn't there when we were face to face.

I turned away and stared at the floor. "You ruined my life, and now you come back here?" Slowly, I turned back towards him, holding onto the anger that I'd manage to bring back to the forefront. "You ruined me, and almost killed me! You--"

No. That wasn't right. I've walked the steps long enough to know that you don't place blame anywhere that belongs on your own front steps. Yes, he asked me to leave the door unlocked. He asked me to help him, but I could have said no. It was my decision to leave that door open, and it was my decision to reconnect with an overdose of my good friend morphine.

I took a deep breath and looked up at him. "I ruined my own life. I didn't have to do it, and I did. That's on my own head. But, you did lie to me, Michael. Every day, you lied to me, and in the end, you lied even more. It wasn't just your brother. You escaped with six other men."

"It was the only way." His first words were a soft confession. "I would have done anything to get my brother out of Fox River before they killed him, and if that meant taking others, then so be it. But, Sara, it was never supposed to be that many. I came in with a plan..."

"The best laid plans of mice and men, Michael." I sighed and shook my head. "The same can be said about your message. Your plan to make things right. There is no making this right."

"Yes, there is, and I will. I just--"

"Why are you here?" I turned my back to him and gripped the back of the chair that sat there. "Why are you here? What else do you want from me?"

"I had to apologize. I had to say it to your face." I could feel him coming closer to me. I could feel him like a dark shadow moving closer, like a ghost that was going to swoop in and completely possess me. "I never meant to hurt you, Sara."

"You're just like all the rest, and I"m-- I'm so weak. I thought I was done with this. I thought I was smart enough to see when I was being used. I thought I would learn from my mistakes."

"Sara, please, look at me."

"No." I shook my head. I gripped the chair. I did everything I could to keep my eyes averted. But, he touched my shoulders and my body started to sag. He turned me, and I couldn't stay away from him. "Michael, please don't do this."

He turned me to face him, forced me to look the Devil in the eye, and that's who he was. Lucifer, the most beautiful angel in heaven, cast out and sent below. Except, this Devil hadn't lost his wings, turned red to adapt to the heat, or grown cloven hoves. Standing before me, holding my arms, Lucifer still had smooth skin, vibrant eyes, and kissable lips. He was still the most beautiful angel to ever fall from heaven.

"I meant what I said, Sara. That when this is all over, the two of us-- It would be so different." His right hand rose to my face and I cursed the girlish weakness that made me close my eyes and roll my cheek in his palm. "I feel for you, Sara, and I"m sorry that I hurt you."

"But... you used me." Hold onto that. Keep thinking that. It was my strength. It was my rock.

"I was never supposed to have to ask you anything. I just needed to get into the infirmary. Sara, you have to believe me, I wouldn't have asked you if it weren't absolutely necessary."

"The best laid plans of mice and men," I said again.

"Exactly."

I opened my eyes and he was so close. I could have kissed him. I could have wrapped my arms around his neck and held onto him for dear life. But, I shouldn't, because that was the one thing that would just make matters worse. I would step away from him, that's what I would do. I would move to the side and tell him to leave, bcause this wasn't going to happen. Because he may not have been an inmate anymore, but he was still a fugitive, and that was even worse. A fugitive that had used me, and I wasn't strong enough to keep him from using me again. So, I would move away, because that was the only way to save myself from my own self-destruction.

Except, he kissed me, and there was no chance for me to run away. There was no way for me to run away ever again.