It's long winded and I had originally started it months ago, and only just finished it today. Without touching it inbetween. But, here it is! A lovely bit of Naruto!Crack! This was written after a glimpse of a filler in which these two were on a team together. For some reason that just clicked something in my brain and I had to pair them. HURR.

I apologize for my absence from fanfiction. I'll all graduated college now, but hopefully will be getting into a different college for something art-related. (Whatever I can get, at this point.) In the mean time, I'm gonna pick up on writing again. Because I miss writing. And I miss you guys. Shiftcommathree.

DISCLAIMER! Shino and Ino belong to Masashi Kishimoto, that wonderful, wonderful man.


Ants & Apples
ShiIno

The sun beat down on the dusty, well-worn patch where Konoha's shinobi commonly trained. Kiba and Hinata had left hours ago – both felt it was too hot to train more than they had to. They called Shino crazy, but the Aburame saw no merit in wasting the afternoon, regardless of the heat.

But now that the sun had passed its zenith in the sky and the gentle breeze had completely vanished, even Shino realized it was time to give up for the day. If he wound up with heat stroke, what good would training be then? He called back his kikaichu. It was time for a break.

His dark sunglasses flashed as he looked to the nearby log that team eight most often used as a bench. As his kikaichu swarmed back up his sleeves he took note of the bento box that Hinata had left for him. Their team used to all just bring their own lunch when they went out training for the day, but once as an exercise Kurenai-sensei assigned certain days to certain people. One day Inuzuka Kiba was to bring a packed lunch for everyone, then Hyuuga Hinata's, and then Aburame Shino's own turn. The point in this was to make sure they knew each others likes and dislikes, it was so they could know their own team – team compatibility was essential to teamwork. The exercise had been deemed a failure after Kiba forgot and Shino's cooking wasn't up to par. Of course, Hinata's bento lunches had been an amazing success; and having liked the feelings it left her with, she continued to make lunches for everyone on training day. She enjoyed it, so why take that away from her?

Now that the kikaichu were all safely back in their hive – his body – he began to lumber towards the log. He had half a mind to shed his heavy, high-collared coat, at least just for lunch. It was too hot out. As he arrived at the shady patch of grass, he thought better of it. The shade beneath the trees was cool enough to almost be enjoyable... and compared to the cruelty of the sun, it was enjoyable.

He reached for the small box. Before he made contact with, though, he made a very upsetting discovery. The lid had been left very, very slightly askew. But this wasn't the troublesome thing. A trail of tiny red ants wound their way up the side of the box and into the narrow, dark opening. On the opposite end of the track they marched back out, bits of an assortment of foods carried proudly by their tiny bodies. Right now, Shino wasn't busy being annoyed by the fact his lunch had been stolen, he was intrigued by the ant's ability to carry ten times their body weight.

Once the amazement was over (and it was quickly), that's when he was annoyed. He brushed the lid off the box (as not to disturb the ants, of course). And... his brow furrowed slightly. They must have been pilfering his meal for quite some time. Almost all of the rice was gone, and the other contents had obviously been picked away at. His hand withdrew.

This would not do. He was tired, hot, but most of all hungry. The slightest of sighs escaped his lips. He could go home to eat, but his father, Shibi, was away on a small mission and it was unlikely that he'd be able to find something worth preparing (as earlier noted, he wasn't exactly an amazing cook). As well, it was a long walk there and back, especially with today's weather. Perhaps he could find a nearby food source.

With one glance at the ants, he knew exactly how he might be able to find one. A short walk and a few moments later, he found the nest they were taking it back to. As well, he found another trail of marching red ants going off somewhere else. There was no returning path; whatever they had found, it was a recent discovery.

It hadn't been hard to follow their trail. They didn't lead off too far – he found that he had crossed over three training areas, through a small grove of trees, and wound up on a grassy hill on the outskirts of town. The only tree on the hill was tall and broad, and all Shino could tell was that is was some kind of maple (his specialty was insects, not trees, as we all know). As he approached the tree he took a quick glance down. The ants were still there.

He continued on. The heat of the day was both uncomfortable and stifling, and the sooner he made it to the shade of the tree the better. Plus, he was guessing that's where the red ants were going. From here he could see someone in the thick, but dappled shade. From this distance he couldn't make out who.

As he approached, it became clear who, and what they were doing.

A blanket was spread over the grass, with a few various small containers and bags strewn about. A good few meters away, he glanced down. No more ants. It seemed he had beaten their workers here. His gaze shifted back up as he entered the relief of the shade. He stopped his movement.

The picnicker, who was sprawled out on the blanket, belly-down, lowered the book in her hands. "Oh, hello, Shino-kun." She pushed herself up and shifted her weight. She was now sitting. "You can sit down, if you want."

He readily complied to the blue-eyed young woman's statement. The shade was cool and the blanket was comfortable. It was pleasant, really. She lifted a container and held it towards him.

"Would you like some apple slices?" she asked softly.

His hand gently brushed hers as he accepted the sliced fruit. She smiled.

He said, "Arigatou, Ino-san."

"No problem," the kunoichi returned. "Feel free to eat whatever you'd like. Shikamaru-kun and Chouji-kun were supposed to be here a half-hour ago but those jerks never showed up. You can have their share."

He looked at the assortment of foods around him. "I'm not sure if I could eat both of theirs," he admitted with a certain seriousness.

The blonde started to laugh. He raised an eyebrow. She waved her hand dismissively. "Gomen, gomen, Shino-kun. It's just that... heh... I don't doubt you can't eat that much."

Now his eyebrows lowered and he appeared troubled. The fruit in his hands was temporarily forgotten. "You misunderstand. I did not mean to make a comment on your teammates' stomach capacities."

Ino began to laugh harder. Shino felt even more troubled. He wasn't used to getting a reaction like this out of anyone, least of all a female. Was he really so hard to take seriously right now?

"He he... gomen, gomen, gomen! Shino-kun, you're too funny. Ha ha! Just... he he... just try to eat what you can then, alright?" She stopped a moment to giggle. "I brought a lot of food, can't let it go to waste." Seeing his somewhat troubled look, she tried to stifle her laughter by lifting her book and hiding the lower half of her face behind it. He adjusted his sunglasses, feeling slightly flustered. What was it with this woman?

He decided to ignore her and eat the apple slices. He had to unbutton the collar on the high neck of his jacket for easier access to his mouth. He chewed the slices slowly, savouring the sweet fruit. His gaze flickered up to the girl before him. He was disturbed to see she was staring at him.

"Is there something wrong, Ino-san?" She was beginning to confuse him more and more. She was one of those few people he couldn't predict, and this was bothering him. He couldn't even begin to guess what was on her mind.

"Why do you always hide your face behind that collar?" she asked him, with a quick blink. She had probably just noticed herself that she had been staring absent-mindedly.

"Why do you ask? Is there something wrong with it?" he set the apples down. Even though he was hungry, he was now much too distracted by this odd character. He wanted to investigate her mysterious nature. Her very company was now nagging at him to put his own needs away and pay attention to her. She had a commanding presence. He had seen most people feel this around her, but in honesty, this was a first for Aburame Shino.

"I dunno, maybe you'd get more dates if you did." Shino nearly choked on air when she said that one. And Ino didn't stop there. "I mean, girls dig mysterious and all, but only to a certain point," she nodded sagely here. She had always considered herself an expert in this field. "Yup, you'd definitely get a little more interest from women if you showed your face off just a little more."

His expression darkened. "I don't have an interest in any such thing."

"Really? None at all?" she seemed shocked, as though a person that had never had a crush was impossible. "You never liked a girl, not even a teeny bit?"

Shino most certainly did not. He scowled (well, as much as an Aburame could scowl – which wasn't very much). "Not that I can recall." Why were crushes and feelings so important, anyways? He was a shinobi. He was more concerned with completing his tasks and keeping himself and his team alive, not with attracting or being attracted to females.

"Well that's a shame." She sighed and leaned back, propping herself up on her arms. Her long legs unfolded from beneath her and she stretched them out before her, crossing them casually.

"How so? Is it really so bad I focus on more important things, like missions?" he seemed genuinely curious... as far as being stoic went. He began to wonder why he was even having this conversation with one Yamanaka Ino, forget the fact he was even having this conversation in the first place.

"Well, yeah, those are important too. But you should put some thought into your future – I mean, a future beyond work. It's great and all that you're so devoted to being a shinobi, but don't you ever wanna get married and start a family?" ...she really didn't understand him, did she? Or, maybe, was it that she understood him all too well? It had to be one or the other, why else would she question something no one else had ever even touched on? In a way it was annoying, but at the same time, intriguing. He almost wanted to see where she was going with this, but he also just wanted to eat lunch and get back to training.

"Eventually, yes, it would be ideal to allow my clan to grow and spread into another generation."

She sighed and sat up, rubbing her forehead impatiently. "You're really something, Aburame Shino. You've got to be the only teenager who doesn't even consider thinking about the opposite sex."

"What about Shikamaru-san?" he asked monotonously.

"He doesn't mind women as much as he claims, and he knows he's going to find someone eventually, he's just put off dating until he's older. Says it's too troublesome."

"And Chouji-san?"

Ino grinned and propped her elbows up on her knees. "He's got his eye on Ayame, that's why he goes to Ichiraiku's so much."

He really couldn't think of anyone else their age that didn't seem apathetic on topic at hand. He could really only think of Hyuuga Neji and Uchiha Sasuke, but the former had lately shown some interest in dating (at least, that's what it sounded like from what Hinata had been talking about), and the latter was probably a sore topic with Ino. ...But since when was Shino one to avoid confrontation? Even though Sasuke had left, and Ino was probably still madly in love with him (everyone knew), he brought it up anyway.

"Sasuke-san?"

A contemplative silence followed. Her blue eyes glazed over as she stared absently up at the tree's branches above. Had he been any less unfeeling than he was he would have regretted asking. But alas, he did not. Perhaps bringing the topic up would be good for her. It was a slight chance, but...

"He..." she laughed softly and bitterly, "I don't care what Sasuke-kun thinks." It sounded like she was lying. She was probably trying to convince herself of her words. But even so, he was surprised she had said something like that. He raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Oh?"

"Yeah..." she changed how she was sitting again, this time wrapping her arms around her legs and hugging her knees tightly to herself. "He was always kind of a jerk, anyway. He was so cold and emotionless... he never let anybody in, and he didn't care about what others were feeling."

With an odd twinge he realized that her description of him was oddly familiar... painfully familiar. As Ino was lost in her thoughts and Shino lost in his, a long silence stretched between them, her book and his food forgotten.

Finally, he spoke, albeit it softly. "Ino-san... am I a jerk, too?"

It took a few drawn-out moments for her to respond. For some reason, the wait was nearly intolerable. "No, Shino-kun, you're not. You're a lot different than he was. I know it sounds weird, and probably stupid, but..." she laughed bitterly again, "...in a way, you're actually a nice guy. You actually care even just a little when someone gets hurt. And you're polite, too. You might be a little emotionless and you might not let yourself get close to people, but you still at least give half a damn about those around you. Not like Sasuke-kun, not like him at all."

He nodded slowly, acknowledging her words. She had a point, and he could understand what she meant. So he wasn't a jerk, which was good, he supposed. ...Wait, why did he even care about this? He was only here because he was hungry, not because he wanted to have some deep, heart-to-heart conversation with Yamanaka Ino. His attention turned back to the apple slices and he began to chew thoughtfully on them. As he ate she unfolded herself once again and resumed her relaxed, stretched out sitting position.

"Shino-kun, do you think Sasuke-kun will ever come back?" her question had been so soft he had hardly heard it. If he hadn't have seen her lips move, he probably wouldn't have noticed she had even spoken.

"It depends on Naruto and Sakura-san," he answered honestly. They were his team, and they were both so determined to bring him back, to the point where Uzumaki Naruto had actually vanished from Konohagakure in order to train and become stronger, just to save his ex-teammate.

"Sakura..." Ino muttered. "Heh... leave it to forehead-girl to chase him to the ends of the earth. She's an idiot, sometimes..." her voice held a weird mix of both disgrace and compassion for her rival.

"Is that not love?" he asked.

"Nani?" she looked up at him, in obvious confusion.

"Earlier we were speaking of love, and you were mentioning how important it is. Is Sakura-san's devotion not love?"

"Well... it is, but... I mean... that's different..." Ino stammered.

"How?"

"Well Sasuke's... like I said, he's... he's a bit of a jerk. I mean, he put himself in that spot. She shouldn't have to go through so much just to save someone that doesn't deserve to be saved from so much trouble." To Shino, her reasoning wasn't sound at all.

"If one of your teammates was in the same situation, would you not want to save them?"

"Not if they brought it on themselves," she snorted.

He finished off the last apple slice, allowing her a moment to think over her last statement. It was good he did, because she obviously had thought it over.

"Well... maybe I would... even if I had to slap sense back into them afterwards." Her tone has been defensive, as though she was ashamed to admit it. She picked up a container of seasoned rice. He accepted graciously as she dug through a bag and pulled forth some chop sticks for him. "But it wouldn't be because I had some weird crush on them either. Those two are like brothers to me. ...But even so, I'd still slap a LOT of sense into them afterwards."

A silence lapsed between the two. Shino graciously took advantage of the silence to finish eating in peace. He found it odd that, with all the honesty he could muster, he really hadn't minded her rambling. And, even though most of their conversation had been just that – her rambling – he somehow found that even his few small speeches had been well-received. Even though she was rather talkative, she had still made it feel like a real conversation. His input seemed to actually be well-considered, much unlike his conversations with someone like – for example – Inuzuka Kiba.

"Oh-!" his thoughts had been interrupted as Ino spewed forth a row of unladylike curses. She scrambled quickly to her feet and began shoving things in her picnic box. "Sorry Shino-kun, but I gotta go. Shikamaru and I were gonna go to visit Asuma-sensei's grave after lunch." She had paused in her hurried speech to collect up her book and carefully mark the page. As soon as this was done, she continued to distractedly talk and pack up. Shino set down the empty dish and chopsticks he was holding. He rose slowly and backed off the blanket. The girl hurriedly picked it up and shook it out. "I know he didn't show up for lunch but that's something he wouldn't be late for."

She began to fumble with the flannel sheet. Shino held out his hands. "Shall I help?"

She paused. She looked at him briefly with her wide, blue eyes. "Yeah, thanks," and she tossed him an end. The two folded it quickly and deftly in silence. She tossed it gently on top of her picnic basket before she gathered both items up into her arms.

She began to trot away and Shino stood still, watching her retreating form. She stopped suddenly, only a few meters away, and spun on her heel. "Thank you for joining me for lunch. Wanna picnic together again sometime? Maybe when I DON'T have to hurry off suddenly?" She smiled. He nodded.

"That would be enjoyable," Shino's deep voice rumbled. And he meant every word of it, too; even if his plain tone didn't give his honesty away.

But, it seemed Ino somehow knew what he meant, for her grin only grew. She actually started to laugh. Her blonde hair swung wildly as she turned quickly away and began to saunter off once again. The Aburame's brow furrowed. Just what was so funny?

As if to answer his unspoken question, the retreating woman before him called over her shoulder, "Call me crazy, but I think I just got THE Aburame Shino to agree to a date!"

He opened his mouth to protest that silly notion of hers, but it was too late. She had already taken off at a run, and was pretty much gone. He stood still under the tree for a long while contemplating the turn of events. An ant crawled its way unchecked over his sandal, a small piece of stolen apple in its mandibles. Behind his collar, the smallest of smirks lit his face. Well, well. This afternoon had certainly had an interesting turn of events. Perhaps, if all went well, the next one would as well.

He turned and walked away, his business here complete. Soon, there was nothing but the sun, the sound of cicadas, and a stream of ants working dutifully away under the sun to collect their prize. They would be feasting well tonight.


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