A/N: I do not own Harry Potter.
He ran.
He ran fast. The cool December air bit at his skin and stung his moist eyes. He didn't know where he was going. He simply needed to leave. Leave the prying eyes, the upturned noses, and the constant pressure he faced.
Regulus Black breathed heavily, his robes billowing in the light breeze behind him. It was dark, and his sight was blurred. He couldn't tell where he was headed, and more times than not he found himself smashing into a branch or stumbling over a rock.
His foot caught in a crack in the ground and he fell forward. He outstretched his arms in an effort to cushion the impact and rolled onto his side. There, lying on the pavement, Regulus broke. Tears fell from his eyes and his body shook with soft sobs. He shouldn't be upset. He knew what was coming. He knew what was going to happen.
I'm so spineless, he thought. I'm disgusting. I couldn't pull through. I couldn't make my own choices. Not once in my life.
And now he was going to pay for it. He had given in; he hadn't put up the slightest of fights. Regulus's future was set. He had no alternative.
Regulus was going to be a Death Eater.
A servant. A follower. Nothing but a pawn in the Dark Lord's vicious game.
It had been decided that night. Regulus was home for Christmas vacation, and the moment he first stepped through the door he knew. He could feel the excitement in the air, and his mother's crazed smile only added to his fears. They had told him they had important news.
They had invited the family over for dinner. His cousins, aunts, and uncles greeted him solemnly, as only a Black would. There were no smiles, only smirks of pride and greed. They were happy for Regulus. They respected him.
He didn't eat that night. He sat silently, a look of false calmness on his face. He didn't flinch when his father rose from his seat and signaled the table's attention. He nodded once after the announcement was made. He would be branded with the mark after he graduated.
And then it was over. The family, after numerous pats on the back and hand shakes, left the house. His parents went to sleep. Eventually he wandered into the sitting room and gazed the family tree on the wall. He traced his name to the black scorch mark indicating his brother. His brother was lucky. He managed to escape. But Regulus didn't. Not because he couldn't, but because he was to cowardly.
As he stared at his brother's mark, Regulus felt his breathing quicken. He scurried out of his house without bothering to put on a cloak. He walked for a long time. Then he ran. He ran down the streets of the muggle neighborhood, looking for a place to belong. Why was he allowing this? He had a million chances to leave this horrid family! And yet he never did. He never had enough courage to walk out. He always had to please the family.
He had so many chances…so many opportunities to choose a better path.
He didn't have to listen to his parents. Ever since he was a child, Regulus had been taught that he was better. That purebloods were better. He had learned to hate muggles and scoff at half bloods and traitors. If only he had thought for himself.
Regulus didn't have to be a Slytherin. That wretched hat had offered him Ravenclaw, as he was always rather clever. But Regulus remembered his family's faces and feared their reactions to a house other than theirs. So he begged. He begged the hat for Slytherin. He told it that it was mistaking his cunningness for cleverness. And eventually it worked.
Regulus didn't have to hurt others. He didn't have to jinx the first year Gryffindors he saw walking in the corridors. But he wanted acceptance from his housemates. He wanted others to fear him.
He could have left the house. Sirius did. His brother had even offered to take Regulus along with him. But he didn't go. Regulus felt that he couldn't survive without his family. He wanted his parents to be proud.
And now, as he shivered in the night air, he wished he had taken those chances. Regulus wanted a different life, one where he was happy and loved, not scared and pressured.
His sobs finally slowed and he wiped his eyes. He sat up, and found himself on a sidewalk a couple miles from his house. Regulus swallowed and wrapped his arms around himself. Slowly, he lowered himself back to the ground.
Above him the stars sat, sparkling brightly. They were happy. The stars were unaware of Regulus. They just sat and twinkled like they were supposed to.
Regulus watched the stars for a long time. He wasn't sure how long, but it felt as if it was a while. They reminded him of his family, or of what he wanted for a family. He had a learned a long time ago which star was which family member, and he matched each star easily. There was his family, happy and bright, all together peacefully. There were no Death Eaters in the sky, there was no Voldemort. Just a happy family.
Regulus closed his eyes briefly. He knew that the stars were unrealistic. He was in the real world, and he was a future Death Eater. He sighed heavily.
Regulus did not want to be a Death Eater. He was not evil. He hoped that, given just one more chance, that he would make the right choice.
Because all he had left to do was hope.
A/N: Reviews are appreciated.
