Okay bear with me, when I wrote this a couple of weeks ago, it was stupid o'clock in the morning and whilst I've just checked over it for mistakes, it's once again stupid o'clock in the morning. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! =]
Disclaimer: I'm too tired to come up with something witty, so I'll get straight to the point: Castle isn't mine.
He stared at the little box sat in front of him in the middle of his desk.
It was mocking him.
What on earth possessed him to get it, he would have no clue.
Yes he did, it was perfect.
He picked up the box again and rubbed this thumb over the opening as he contemplated looking at it again, he practically had the picture of it tattooed on his eyelids, but that didn't stop the little stutter every time he looked at it first hand and imagined slipping it on her finger, as he asked her to spend the rest of her life with him.
He let out a small frustrated growl as he put the unopened box back in its spot on his desk.
What the hell was he supposed to do now? He let out a bark of laughter, they weren't even dating, sure she wasn't with Josh anymore, and sure they spent more time together but it seemed they were destined to remain friends…
Then why on earth had he bought the damn ring?
God he wasn't going to be able to look at her without thinking about it, the image in his head of them snuggled up together on the couch watching a film after they had finished a case and had been out with the guys at the old haunt to celebrate, he would casually take the box out his pock-
His daydream was quickly interrupted when there was a knock on the door and his mother breezed straight through without waiting for an answer.
"Richard dear- "she stopped short when she looked at the desk and let out a gasp.
Castle quickly grabbed the box of the table and hastily put it in his pocket "Mother" he said in a warning voice, "it's not what you think"
Martha scoffed "I know exactly what that is darling"
"Okay so it is what you think it is, but it's not what you think…" Castle scratched at the back of his head, "that made more sense in my head"
"How about I take a guess? That would be an engagement ring"
"Quite a guess mother thank you for stopping by" Castle replied as he walked around his desk to shoo her back out of the door.
"For Kate…" that stopped him short.
Martha stood firmly in her spot and held out her hand expectantly. Castle let out a sigh as he took the box back out of his pocket and placed it in her waiting hand. He stared down at his feet as she slowly opened the box, and he had no idea what to think of the small gasp that came from his mother when she finally looked at the ring.
"Richard it's beautiful" she said softly as she took it out of the box. "Did you get this from George?"
"Yeah" he let out a low groan as he rubbed his hands over his face and let out a strangled "I had him engrave it too"
He heard his mother mutter the word that meant everything after she found it written on the inside of the simple ring, the promise that he and Kate had
"Always"
He let out another frustrated groan as he started pacing in front of his mother "What on earth was I thinking? We're not even dating!"
"Richard you were thinking that you love her, that you haven't ever felt like this with anyone before, and don't deny it, because we both know it's true."
"But it's an engagement ring!" he practically shouted.
"Yes Richard it is, but look at that ring," she turned the box so he could see it again, "we both know that it would have been easy for you to go out and buy the most expensive ring available in New York, but you didn't, you were at George's and this simple elegant ring caught your eye, and you couldn't not ask George to show it to you," Martha let out a small laugh "I can see it in your eyes now, as soon as you had this ring in your hand , you saw yourself putting it on Kate's finger, you saw a future with her wearing this ring and it was you stood right beside her, and you were so determined to make that vision true that you had it inscribed with the promise that the two of you share: always."
"I don't what I'm going to do now mom, I've taken a huge step without her having any clue, we haven't even been on a date"
"And why is that?" Martha asked as she watched her son pace in front of her.
"I can't lose her mom" he let out softly as he stopped in front of her "As long as I get to be a part of her life, and as long as she's happy then I can live with that, if it means watching her be with another man, then I can live with that, it'll hurt like hell" he carried on at her disbelieving look "but it would be something I could live with as long as she's happy."
"Have you ever asked yourself what she wants?" She quickly asked. "Think about it Richard, who does she turn to when she needs to talk to someone? You. After you've finished a case, who does she spend her evenings with? You. Has she been on a date since she broke up with that doctor six months ago? No"
Castle fell into one of the two armchairs in his study and his mother quickly took up the other one, opening his mouth to protest a few times, he just couldn't come up with an argument at all, he finally gave up with a sigh and took the ring back from his mother, he sat staring at the open box in his hands whilst his mother continued to watch him.
"What should I do?" he finally asked in a quiet voice, not taking his eyes of the ring.
"I think it's time you finally tell her how you feel…"
Castle let out a laugh "You always set me up to try and do the impossible"
Martha smiled back at him as she took his hand holding the ring box in her hands "Maybe it was fate getting you ready for this moment."
Their quiet moment was interrupted by the sound of a knock at the loft door. Castle groaned and let his head fall against the back of the armchair. "That's probably Beckett" he said as he stood up, he took one last look at the ring before he closed the box and swiftly placed it back on the desk.
He then swiftly went back over to where his Mother was stood and quickly pulled her in for a hug "Thank you"
"I will always be here for you darling, you know that" she said and pulled away from him "Now don't keep our dear detective waiting any longer, I raised you better than that" she added teasingly making her way out of the study and up the stairs.
Castle quickly reached the door and took a deep breath as he schooled his features before he opened the door.
"What is up with you tonight?" Beckett asked with a smile when he sat back down next to her on the couch.
"Nothing, why?" he quickly answered realising how guilty he sounded and wishing she didn't notice.
Beckett let out a laugh "You're more nervous than some of the murder suspects we've seen; that's the fifth time you've left the room and we aren't even halfway through the film yet" of course she noticed, she was a detective after all.
He took a second to calm himself before answering again "Seriously, I'm fine"
Oh god, why did he have to buy that damn ring, he was getting ideas in his head again, he didn't want to think what would happen if he had kept the ring in his pocket, would he have proposed right then and there, would he make a colossal fool of himself or would it be the best thing to happen to him, he let out a sigh and let his head fall against the back of the couch.
Beckett turned to look at him again "Castle, are you sure you're okay?" she was starting to get worried now.
"Yeah, don't worry about me," Castle replied as he lifted his head back up and faced her again, he let out a smile, "I'm just getting caught up in my own mind, and sometimes that can be a dangerous place to be" he joked.
"If you're sure, I can go if you want" she looked unsure as to what she should do with herself.
"No" he quickly reassured her, "stay, enjoy the movie, don't mind me" he said with a smile.
He wanted her to be snuggled into his side, he wanted to have the ring in his pocket so he could take it out right there, whilst she was in his arms and he wanted to tell her that these times, where they were simply just together, were some of the best moments in his life, he wanted to tell her that he wanted them to be together for the rest of their lives, always, he wanted to be her one and done.
He started when he felt her shake his arm, "you're really not with it tonight are you?" she had paused the movie and he hadn't noticed
"I guess not, no, is everything okay?" he quickly asked, trying to get the attention of off him again.
"Yeah I was just wondering if I could check something out on your laptop?"
"Yeah, no problem, you know where it is; I'm going to go grab a glass of water whilst you're up, want anything?"
"Glass of water would be great thanks" she replied with a smile as they both got up of the couch and headed off to their tasks.
Castle rubbed his hands over his face and through his hair a few times once he got into the kitchen, he had to stop thinking, he had to make a plan, he moved about the kitchen grabbing two glasses from one of the cupboards.
Maybe he could invite her out for dinner, but they did that all the time at Remy's.
He filled the glasses up with water and ice from the dispenser on his fridge.
A movie? Nope they were doing that right now, wow this wasn't easy.
He took the glasses through to the living area and placed them on the table in front of the couch, Beckett wasn't back yet, he looked up to the study, all she had to do was grab the laptop…
Of off his desk…
Directly next to the ring box…
The next thing Castle knew he was in his study, staring with wide eyes at Kate Beckett sat in his desk chair, the laptop lay untouched, but in her hands was the ring box, he couldn't take his eyes of it.
It was closed, what did that mean? Had she opened it? Had she seen it? Had she taken it out? Had she read the inscription? Or had it simply remained closed in her hands?
"What is this?" he was suddenly broken out of his thoughts when she spoke and his eyes quickly lifted to her eyes, which were rimmed with unshed tears.
"That depends" he said slowly, not breaking their eye contact.
"On what?"
"Whether or not you've opened the box…"
"If I said no?"
"Then it's a pair of earrings for mother's birthday and it could stay that way" if she wanted an out then she could take it.
"And if I said yes?"
He let out a sigh as he broke eye contact with her to look down towards the floor "I don't know"
"I haven't opened it" she finally said, Castle didn't know whether to be relieved or upset that he had got away with this one, but that thought only lasted about two seconds before Kate carried on "but that doesn't change the fact that we both know that it isn't a pair of earrings in that box."
He quickly looked back up to her eyes, he had no idea what to say, except that he was a colossal idiot that had bought an engagement ring before they'd even been on a date!
"How could you not tell me you were going to propose to someone?" Kate demanded.
Wait, what?
"You're my best friend Rick, and you didn't even think to mention that you were involved with someone, or that it had got so far as you wanting to spend the rest of your life with her."
She thought that the ring was for someone else?
"And when have you even had time to be with someone else, I mean I'm pretty sure we've been together almost every night for at least the past 2 weeks."
Having stood up from the chair and pushing it back she was now pacing behind his desk, the ring box still closed in her hands.
"Kate-"
"I mean I understand that we're not together,"
"Kate-"
"But I'd like to think that you wouldn't keep something like this from me, I mean come on Rick, this is huge!"
"Kate!"
"What?" Kate suddenly stopped pacing and looked up to find that Castle had moved from the doorway to the other side of the desk, and the look on his face, he looked so vulnerable.
He leaned his closed fists on the desk and hunched over it to avoid looking at her "open the box" he said quietly, but loud enough that Kate heard him.
"Why?" she quickly asked
"Please just open it"
He stood hunched over the desk, with only the feel of his heart beating hard against his chest keeping him in place as he concentrated on the rhythm, he didn't know how long it had been before he heard the creak of the box opening and her soft gasp, when she saw the content of the box.
He slowly lifted his head in her direction, and watched as she stared in awe at the ring, tears once again evident in her eyes.
"There's an inscription" this was it, well he thought her finding the ring was it, but no this, this was it; this was the moment that would either make or break him.
He watched as she slowly took the ring from the box and took a deep breath as she placed the ring box back on the desk and turned the ring toward the light. He watched as her eyes widened and she let out a loud gasp, quickly clapping the ring to the desk, "I have to go" she said as she quickly moved herself out from behind his desk and walked swiftly toward the study door.
"No, wait, Kate" Castle ran and shut the door before she could get through it.
Castle saw the tears fall down her cheeks
"Castle, let me go"
"I'm not letting you run from this Kate"
"You can't do this Castle, you can't just give your best friend an engagement ring!"
"I wasn't planning to, I was hoping to make my best friend my girlfriend first."
"Then why the hell didn't you just ask me on a date?"
"Kate we've been best friends for so long now, I didn't want to lose that"
"So you were too scared to ask me on a date but you thought proposing would be better?"
Castle suddenly grabbed her shoulders and leant down to look her in her eyes "Kate you have to understand that I am in love with you, I have been for a good while now, but the timing was never right, and if you were happy with some other man then that was fine with me as long as I was in your life, as long as we were friends." He let out a sigh "When you finally broke up with Josh, I had my chance, but I couldn't take it so soon that wouldn't be fair on you, but you were always over here from then on, we were always together, we were never with anyone else, heck half your stuff is here, and as long as you were happy and I had you in my life then I was content to not change that, I was happy to just be your best friend because that was what you needed.
He let go of her arms and rubbed his hands over his face and through his hair and looked at the ring still sitting on the desk, "but when I was at George's and I saw that ring…" he dropped his arms to his sides as he let a small smile play on his lips.
"I saw a future, I saw a future where we were sat out there on that couch snuggled up together and we were happy and in love, and then one day I would pull that ring out of my pocket and tell you that I wanted to spend the rest of my life right where I was with you, I was going to tell you that I'm your one and done and nothing could happen that was going to change that, I was going to make sure that you stuck with me for the rest of our lives and I was going to do my best to make sure that you were always happy."
He finally looked over at Kate, who was staring at him in wonder, "Kate, say something"
"I don't know what to say" she lets out quietly.
He can't help himself and he quickly pulls her against his chest and wraps his arms around her shoulders, she's hesitant at first but she quickly relaxes against him and wraps her arms around his middle.
"How about, I put that ring away somewhere safe, and we put it to the back of our minds, and then we can go out there, pretend to finish watching the movie and when it's done I'll ask you on a date, you'll say yes, of course," he feels her smile against his chest, and can't help feeling a slight bit ecstatic about that, "we shall then proceed to go on said date, I'll worry about what we're going to do and you'll worry about what you're going to wear, I think the date will turn out to be a disaster, that seems appropriate for us"
Kate pulls away to look at him with shock on her face "Castle-"
"Ssshhhh! I'm not done yet," he says as he looks at her "Yeah, so disaster - it could be that it rains and we can't get a cab, or if we take the car, it's going to break down, we get stuck in traffic and miss our reservations, no matter what, it's not looking to be a good night, so I give up and I bring you back here, where you will proceed to change into my favourite sweats and hoodie that you have adopted as your own and I'll get into something similar, we'll end up ordering take out, and we'll snuggle up on the couch eating pizza whilst we watch old movies till stupid o'clock in the morning, you'll fall asleep on my shoulder and when I wake you, I will graciously walk you to the guest room which, let's face it, you've adopted too. I will then kiss you goodnight and wait until after you've shut your door before I do my happy dance all the way to my bedroom."
She's smiling now and the tears are happy tears.
"Should I continue?" he asks with a smile, and she nods.
"When we wake up the next morning, we'll be the same as always as we work together to make breakfast, only this time when you say you're a mess when you wake up I won't have to hold back telling you that you look beautiful no matter what, you'll blush into your coffee and I'll have a smirk on my face for the rest of the morning. You'll eventually leave around lunch time though we both won't want you to, and before you leave I'll kiss you goodbye, and as you leave I'll have a huge dopey grin on my face."
Castle's got a full blown grin on his face now, he's weaving this out of nowhere and he wishes he had his laptop in his hands so he can write it down, but knows that somehow he's not going to forget what he's saying.
"We'll act exactly the same at the precinct; except of course we will each be trying to watch the other secretly and when we see each other looking we'll smile and then continue with what we were doing, but the boys will notice and you'll go down and tell Lanie all about what happened, she'll squeal and say something along the lines of It's about time, of course Espo's going to get it out of her eventually and then proceed to immediately tell Ryan, and there'll be teasing and of course I'll be warned that if I ever hurt you, there will be hell to pay, but we won't care, we're happy and it's going to stay that way.
"We'll continue to go on dates, hopefully they'll be more successful than the first, and then one day when you tell me that you are ready I'll get that ring out of its hiding place and finally ask you if you will spend the rest of your life with me, and you'll say yes, of course."
They wait a minute as they just stare at each other, he finally breaks the silence again "So, how about it, let's go pretend to watch the rest of that movie."
She nods and lets him lead her out of the study, and lets him pull her into his arms when they are sat on the couch, each of them letting out a quiet sigh as they each realise this is exactly where they belong.
