I know, I'm publishing it again? Well, yes, as it's own story. That's right, you heard me, STORY. I will be continuing this on as a story, I thought of a heaps good plotline, instead of making it Rose and Dimitri's homemaker life.
A/N: IMPORTANT! MUST READ! . . . This is the original ending, the teary one. I thought you guys should still be able to read the original. Then the next chapter is the alternate ending, then the rest of the new story continues from there, like this one never happened. So this one is not apart of the story.
Thanks
WIWR xx ;)
P.S. VA is not mine, nor any of it's characters, the plotline is mine, and any future characters you might meet but don't recognise. Enjoy!
-I Will Always Love You-
"I just wish I'd been able to . . . I don't know, do anything. . . . I should go. Let me know when you want to start practice again. And thanks for . . . talking."
I turned to leave. "Rose," Dimitri said to me, his voice so quiet. "I told Tasha yes."
I had my back to him, and I flinched. "Really?" I didn't want that. I told him he should take her offer, but I didn't mean it. I just didn't want to seem like such a child about this whole thing. My heart was shattering.
"Yes, Rose," he said. "You need a better chance at becoming a guardian. We can't do this with the distraction of our affection. Rose, you have to understand."
I turned to him. "Okay." He raised an eyebrow at me. "It's okay. I'll be fine. They'll give me a new mentor and I'll be Lissa's guardian and you can have a family. Everybody wins."
"Okay." He walked over to me and kissed my forehead, staying like that for a moment longer. He turned and walked away from me.
Tears started to silently stream down my face. "I lied," I said, so quiet I didn't mean for him to hear, but he had anyway.
He stopped and tilted his head back towards me. "Rose?"
"I lied." He knew now anyway. "I don't want you to go. I want you to stay here, with me. Stay as my mentor."
He completely turned to me. "Rose, don't," he said, keeping a firm mentor tone.
"Dimitri, I love you. And I know you love me. I know I can't give you a family and that you want to be with Tasha, but I want you to stay more than anything." My tears were balling now and I couldn't stop myself. "I'd give up being Lissa's guardian for you—I'd give up becoming a guardian for you!"
"No, Rose, don't do this," he said, stepping closer to me. "You have to become Lissa's guardian."
"No!" I yelled. I couldn't believe after everything that happened in Spokane, he was just going to leave me, just like that. "I don't want it! Not if it means I can't have you." My voice had gotten louder and didn't look like it was coming down. "Please, Dimitri! I want you to stay. I need you to stay. If you don't, I couldn't live. It would be like you dying! If you're dead, then surely I would die too!"
"Rose!" he said, his voice loud, overpowering mine and making me be quiet. "You don't want this. Yes, of course I want you. But this is never going to work. I could never do that to you. You have trained your whole life to be Lissa's guardian and I can't let you give that up! Not as your mentor and not as your friend."
And there it was. The one word that changed everything. Friend. I sighed, deep and heavily, needing to collect myself and calm down before I spoke again.
"Don't you love me?" I just scraped out in a small voice.
"Rose," he said. He broke, the sorriness seeped out of his voice.
"Fine!" I began to yell again. "If you love her more than me, just go! I don't want you; I don't want you here with me! Go!" The tears were still streaming down my face and I gave up trying to keep it in.
"Rose," he began, trying to explain himself.
"No!" I cut him off. "I told you, just leave. Go and be with her! I hope you have a long and happy life together." My voice came down a bit but still wasn't normal volume. "What does it matter to me? What does my opinion matter? It's not like we're together. It's not like we ever had a chance of being together."
"Rose, please," he tried. I didn't want to hear his excuses, I didn't want to hear how he was sorry but he had to do this, for me. Bullshit. That's all it would be. I turned and ran back to my dorm, ignoring his cries for me to come back.
I cried myself to sleep that night and when I woke up, I realised what a huge mistake I'd made. I had to tell Dimitri I was sorry, that I'd meant it when I said I didn't want to fight with him. If I could fix things with Dimitri before he left, he could still be a part of my life.
I ran down to the gym, hoping to find him there. He wasn't. I searched all over the upper campus. I even went over to his dorm. The matron said he'd returned last night but quickly left with all his belongings.
Tears streaming down my face, I ran back to my dorm. I ran into Lissa on the way there.
"Rose?" she said. "What's wrong?" she asked frantically after seeing my teary eyes.
"Where is he?" I asked her, my voice broken.
"Who?" she asked, confusion showing.
"Dimitri." I was frantic, my voice hardly making a sound no matter how hard I tried. "I have to tell him . . . to tell him I'm sorry, and that . . . tell him that I love him."
"What?" Lissa was completely taken aback. She had never had a clue how I felt about Dimitri.
"Where is he?" I asked, needing to know.
"Rose." Her tone was filled with regret. I felt a fresh wave of tears coming on. "Rose, he's already gone."
"No, no, he was supposed to be leaving this afternoon."
"He left late last night, with Tasha. She said to Christian that she had to get out of here, and back to court. I guess it must have been Dimitri that had to leave."
"He's gone?" I whispered. She nodded.
I cried into her shoulder for hours and continued to cry and stay locked in my room for the next week. Everybody knew I was upset because Dimitri left. They all thought that after losing Mason and now my mentor, I'd just lost it.
The truth was always the best kept secret. I didn't bother lying when people asked if it was about Dimitri. I just didn't tell them how deep it went.
. . .
I sat on my bed in the apartment Lissa and I shared at court, in a zombie-like state. I'd done it, become Lissa's guardian, despite not having my kick ass mentor to help me. My chest tightened. Thinking about him . . . it didn't do me any good.
It had been a year. One year to the day.
I looked out the window. It was stain glass and the sunrise was creeping its way through. I looked at the patterns it made on the carpet. It was so beautiful.
I looked at the small blade in my right hand. Three days ago I'd learned of Dimitri's death. I got his letter the day after.
I re-read the letter in my left hand—one last time.
Roza,
I'm sorry. I love you and it was wrong for me to leave you.
I'm returning to court next week. Russia has been great, but I have told her I can't be her guardian anymore. When I come back, I want more than anything for us to try again.
I could be assigned to another charge at court. Lissa doesn't need you with her all the time and we can always find time to be together. I've thought about this everyday for the last year and I've finally worked it out.
If you will have me. I will always love you.
Dimitri.
Tears streamed harder down my face. I knew Tasha was coming back that day, and she arrived at court on schedule, without Dimitri. She'd come to tell me that a few Strigoi had attacked a Moroi gathering they had attended. A group of younger Moroi children had been trapped in the corner by one of the Strigoi. Another guardian had gotten the children out as Dimitri distracted the Strigoi. Another of the Strigoi came up by surprise to help the other. Dimitri couldn't take them both after that.
The next day, when his letter arrived, I must have read it a hundred times. I would have taken him back.
He was sorry.
And that was all I wanted to hear. He'd never just told me sorry. But now he had. I had always wanted him back. I never didn't want him. I wished everyday he'd come back.
I looked back at the blade. Lissa wouldn't be home for hours. Adrian was probably coming for lunch, like he always did whenever he was at court. He would find me. I couldn't stand for Lissa to see me first. It would kill her. On the table was another letter. To Lissa. It explained why I was doing this, that it has nothing to do with her and that I want her to continue living life to her full. No regrets.
I brought the blade to my left wrist, still holding the letter. I applied pressure. And sliced.
Adrian didn't come around for lunch that day. Lissa was the one who found me. But I was already with Dimitri.
Thanks for reading the sad ending. I take no responsibility for any tears that may have leaked. So, if you keep reading there is a much happier ending for all you Mary-Sue's. lol
