Marauders Pact

Nov 14th, 3rd Year

The First Pact

"I, James Potter, call to order the first official meeting of the now named Marauders."

"Messr Sirius Black thanks his furry friend for discovering such a name."

"Messr Remus Lupin inquires as to why Messr Sirius Black is speaking in the third person, and politely insists he shut up about certain furry problems, where others could hear."

"Messr Sirius Black must remark on the fact that Messr Remus Lupin also used third person in his speaking, and wonders how one could possibly 'politely insist' something as that seems to be an oxymoron."

"Oxymoron? What's an oxymoron? Erm… Messr Peter asks."

"Messr Sirius Black will inform all that Messr Peter Pettigrew is an oxymoron."

"Is that good? Or bad?"

"Messr James Potter is going to say it is a good thing to avoid further squabble, and kindly asks everyone to shut up so we can get on with the meeting."

"Messr Sirius Black expresses his greatest apologies."

"I, Remus Lupin will kindly shut up so we can get this stupid meeting over with."

"Messr James Potter would be offended at Messr Remus Lupins insult if he was not aware that it is Messr Lupins time of the month."

"Um… yes, Messr Peter is also sorry."

"Onwards with the meeting! I, James Potter, propose a pact, we must all swear to-"

"Messr Sirius Black proposes we refer to it as a Marauders Pact."

"Duly noted. This Marauders Pact, then, shall entail that none of us are able to tattle on any Marauderly Mischief."

"I, Remus Lupin, must inquire as to how we will tell if that pact has been breached, and what punishment will be served."

"I, James Potter, say that we will know due to having been caught at said Mischief, and the punishment should be something really embarrassing."

"Messr Sirius Black suggests the offenders bits be shrunk for as long as detention is being served by the tattled on."

"Messr James Potter thinks that is an excellent idea, and a just punishment for such a grave offence. So, I, James Potter, agree to this, the first Marauders Pact, that I will never tattle upon any Mischief, for punishment of having my bits shrunk for as long as the tattled on shall serve detention."

"I, Sirius Black, agree to this, the first Marauders Pact, that I will never tattle upon any Mischief, for punishment of having my bits shrunk for as long as the tattled on shall serve detention."

"This is ridiculous, but, I, Remus Lupin, agree to this, the first Marauders Pact, that I will never tattle upon any Mischief, for punishment of having my bits shrunk for as long as the tattled on shall serve detention."

I, Peter Pettigrew, agree to this, the first Marauders Pact, that I will never tattle upon any Mischief, for punishment of having my bits shrunk for as long as the tattled on shall serve detention. Um, did I say it right?"

"You said it flawlessly Peter, with the first Marauders Pact sworn to, I James Potter, close this meeting."

April 6th, 3rd Year

"We thought of a name for you!" Peter announced.

"I already have a name." Remus informed them.

Sirius, ever the ignorer said "It's Moony!"

"Absolutely not." Remus protested.

"But you have to earn it." James told him, "So, I dare you to moon the next professor you see and shout 'It's a full moon, AWOOOO!'."

"Not doing it."

"Then we double dare you." Sirius told him, then in a rare moment of insight added "But only if there are no students around."

"I'm still not doing it."

"Then we triple dare you," Peter said, "You can't deny a triple dare, it's an unwritten rule of kid!"

"And what will happen if I don't?" Remus asked.

"We'll invert your bits until the girls staircase lets you up." James supplied.

Remus gulped. "When I get in trouble I'm bringing all you assholes down with me."

"It's so worth it." Sirius smirked.

"Fine," Remus sighed, "There's the groundskeeper, I'm going to go get this over with."

Remus walked up in front of Hagrid, pulled his trousers down over his bottom and shouted "It's a full moon! AWWOOOOOOOH!" Then sprinted out of there, pulling his pants back up all the way.

Hagrid blinked in shock, shook his head, and then noticed the three giggling figures of Mr. Lupins friends. 'Kids,' he thought, 'alway' thikin' up some new ma'ness to have a laugh over.'

"Oh hell, I actually did it."

"Moony, are you okay? That's twice you've sworn today, you never swear."

"You've corrupted me, and all for a stupid nickname."

"Hey! We should have a competition to see who can make him swear the most!" Peter suggested.

"Excellent idea Pete."

"I am going to the library, hopefully Lily can de-corrupt me."

"Ask her out for me!"

"No James."