"It'll have an effect on the three of you. You won't be able to see it, but you'll feel it.
Everyday for the rest of your lives. It'll be kind of a darkness around your heart.
Permanent, like scar. "
"Like a tattoo..."
"Yes."
So much was going through our heads when we stepped into that tub. The water biting into our skin, shocking our nerves. Rejection was high in that moment. I wanted nothing more than to fall back, only the sheriffs badge digging into the skin of my palm kept me anchored, reminded me why I had to do this. Why we had to do this.
"We're okay Scott, just, can you come pick us up? And bring a ladder..." A few chuckles surrounded the small area beneath the fallen beams and clods of earth, Scott smiled, allowing himself to breathe. He glanced at Derek, whose hazel eyes looked vulnerable for a flash of a second before they tore away from Scott's confused? Pitying? Understanding gaze...
I mean, we weren't just doing this for our parents. We were sacrificing ourselves, for the people we love, inthe grim possibility we may not be coming back. This was to save, everyone. This was the only way we could find the Nimiton and save at least Beacon hills from a pack of misguided Alpha's and an equally misguided and scorned Darrach.
Jennifer...the Darrach...was dead, Cora was alive, he was no longer an Alpha, and his pack was killed off one by one until there was nothing left. What else was there left to fight for now. No pack, no home...Scott's the Alpha now, and Derek had seen it even before this year. A true alpha and his pack. Even the threat laid out before Deucalion was empty on his end. For Derek had made up his mind before he followed Jennifer here to face the demon wolf. He and Cora were leaving, starting a new life somewhere new, as he and Laura had after the fire. Scott had done well thus far, much better than himself.
It was time to move on...
So much has happened, and it's only been a few months since summer ended and bled into fall. We saved the world again, and no one even knows. Even cares. I guess its just as well; at least I've got dad to talk to now. Not saying it's going to get easier, but knowing he's safe, alive... well, Jennifer kidnapping him has changed my perspective a bit. Not a 360 turn around, but enough of a turn to realize that trying to protect him doesn't work when losing me would kill him as much as almost losing him has nearly killed me.
"So, this is it?" Cora glanced at Derek as he hoisted open the SUV door and tossed the last duffel in back. She didn't want to go, but she sort of understood. Sort of, but not really. What could she really say to her stubborn brother? He may no longer be an Alpha, but he was the only real family she had left. Boyd was gone, Isaac left, and no one trusted Peter. For good reason. Something about Peter's advice, his so called 'knowledge' and influence in Derek's decision to cure Cora didn't sit well in either of them. Losing his Alpha power in one sweep when he'd given a little bit of it to bring Peter back from the depths of hell. So why had it taken so much to cure her? Would they ever find out? Was it just paranoia?
"This is it." Derek seated himself in the drivers seat, hand hesitating at the ignition. He hadn't really registered the fact he was shaking until now. The events leading up until this moment had barely began processing in his brain. So much lost, so much gained...so much being left behind.
And yet as I think on the past 24 hours, I can't help but think about a boy who met a girl, they fell in love, and she died. His only crime was loving too much. Trusting to much perhaps. I think about young man, giving into temptation, perhaps just a little bit too much. Trying to fill this void inside of his heart left behind the truth and a pair of steel blue eyes, unaware of the oncoming fire that would consume his life. Whose only crime was perhaps thinking someone truly cared for him and his.
I think of a man, haunted by the ghosts of his past, saving a school teacher from two moon drunk wolves, only to find out once the ice begins to melt away around his heart, that she is a vengeful druid who killed 9 people, unaware of the 3 sacrifices of two girls and a boy for their parents. His only crime was wanting to have a family to care for and perhaps the power got to his head at first, but I've seen his heart. Beneath all that stone cold exterior, there is a soul.
And it is beautiful.
Cora's hand moved to rest over Derek's larger one, trying to steady it's shaking as her eyes softened. "We don't have to go, Derek." His eyes drooped a little more, suddenly feeling even more exhausted than he had moments before.
"...There is nothing for us here anymore, Cora."
"What about Scott, Lydia, Isaac?" Cora piped up, "We may not all be the perfect family ideal, but we've coexisted this long, you've made it this long and you're still here. This is pack, protecting each other, working together...saving each other. And what if more comes crawling its way into beacon hills, Derek, are we supposed to leave our friends behind to die?"
"Scott's an Alpha now, Isaac, Lydia, Ethan and Aiden...that is his problem now, not mine."
"And Stiles?" Cora said after a moment. "What about him...he's been with us every step of the way...when Scott abandoned you in the hospital, abandoned us to leave with Deucalion, Stiles saved you. He came back. Don't tell me you don't care about him, or any of them. We came back for Lydia earlier...you could have kept going, why didn't you?"
Derek heaved a sigh, pulling his hand free of Cora's to turn the key in the ignition. She shot him a disapproving look, but he did not catch it as he put the SUV in drive, making their way out of the parking lot. He was quiet as they began to drive the streets out of town, his mind musing over Cora's words. She was right, Stiles has always seemed to be there when he needed him, even when he thought he didn't, there he was. Saving his life in some way or another.
Between last year and this year, Stiles had just grown. They, had grown. The boy grew into a man, and that young man had a mouth on him even worse than before. At least instead of cowering in the corner from him, he actually didn't hesitate to tell Derek he was wrong, or how he felt about something. Whether Derek got pissed or not, Stiles just gave it to him, and didn't seem too phased.
When they came to him about Stiles father... told him about Jennifer, he didn't need to deny the truth over what he wanted to see or hear. It was clear Stiles and Scott were telling the truth by their heartbeat. And Stiles didn't need to lie to him. It's just...something about seeing Stiles in pain, in that moment when Jennifer asked him to believe her, and his eyes locked with Stiles... in that moment, he had a fleeting thought, a fleeting feeling.
He never wanted to see him in that kind of pain ever again.
Maybe it's this town. Maybe it's us. I mean, maybe we're the ones who are cursed. Not just werewolves, but humans too. Maybe we're just cursed with this dread and unhappiness. Grasping a hold of something good only to have it torn away when we finally find some actual peace.
"Gone? Scott what to you mean their gone?" Stiles voice raised an octave higher as he suddenly halted outside of the Argent's building where they had just got done dropping off Allison and her father. Isaac was standing at the entrance of the building which connected with the parking lot...which seemed like the only place he could think to continue standing as Stiles turned on Scott.
Scott did not cower, he did not get mad. His features simply took on that look of understanding and perhaps a little pity as he watched, felt, smelled, the emotions rolling off of his best friend. There was just, something there that had been missed for a while now. Something...no one, perhaps not even Stiles and Derek had caught onto. "I mean they're gone Stiles. Derek went back for Cora and plans on leaving Beacon Hills. I'm not sure when, not sure if they've even made it out of the city yet, but that was a few hours ago."
"But..." Stiles shoulders slumped suddenly, eyes holding an emotion Scott understood. "He can't go...we won...we're safe for now until the demon tree draws more big bads, but... I mean come on...he's just going to leave us? I thought..." He glanced anywhere but at Scott, anywhere landed him on Isaac, who was also looking at him. Eyes that were once filled with such vulnerability, held strength, growth. Understanding.
"We're pack, we stick together, we fight for each other." He said, eyes unfocusing as his mind raced. Derek needed them, and they needed him. Stiles needed him. "I've got to go." He said as he turned on his heel and took off in a sprint down the drive and turning, heading for Derek's building. Scott could explain what he could to his dad, right now, he needed to stop Derek.
So here I am. In 24 hours I've managed to come back from being dead for 16 hours, save the world alongside my friends, become apart of something so much greater than myself. Truly, even as a human I can feel the bond of our pack. Of our Alpha. And come to the conclusion that Derek Hale, is someone I cannot live without.
And I was too late.
"I can't do this." Derek said suddenly, talking for the first time since they'd left the loft parking lot. He was bad with goodbyes. Hell, he was bad with hello's, but after everything...he at least owed it to Stiles to say goodbye, properly. Maybe there was another way, and they could actually live peacefully in town together. He could try, if at least for Cora's sake. Get her enrolled at Beacon hills, give her an education, let her graduate and try and have a normal life. He could do better, he had to.
Cora held onto the dashboard as Derek made a sharp U-turn for the second time tonight, and headed back towards Beacon hills. "We have to go back." She finished his thought aloud.
They need to go back.
They needed to go home.
After everything we've been through in the past three years, Derek is gone. Like he was never here at all, no trace of him except for Peter, who has coincidentally gone missing after the Darrach fell. I'm standing here,the view from Derek's loft window is beautiful, the moonlight shining through the glass panes. I can almost pretend it's not empty. That the bed isn't stripped bare along with the dressers and the bathroom. There is still a few things in the kitchen, obviously Derek was in a hurry. Only, the sheets of the bed are down in the dumpster outside, I know because I saw a piece hanging out with splots of black stained into them. Like the few bits on the floor I can see from here, and a spot on the mattress that must have leaked through when Cora lay there.
If only I could crawl onto the bed with the sheets from last week still there, inhale Derek's scent. Hold it forever in my memory... only it's bare, and I'm pretty sure it smells of Cora and blood. Even so, I don't have to be a wolf to know they have been gone for a while now. Without my jeep I would not have any chance of catching up to them. Dad and I agreed to have someone retrieve it from the woods later. Preferable after we've all showered, ate, and slept.
I'm covered in a fine layer of earth. My tracks actually noticeable in a trail from the stairs leading to the window where I stand. A sight I must have looked running down the street. A sight I must look now. A street rat in his tower of shame. Regret. Now, as I sink back into the moon's glow pouring in through the window, I imagine what I could have done better, if only I had been on time.
A knock sounds on the front door and John is worn out from the events of...well...everything. He looks to Melissa who has fallen asleep half on top of him, while Isaac is oddly piled next to Scott on the floor. Almost curled around him. Any other night before this, and John would have questioned it, but now, well. It was just a pack thing.
Scott's eyes opened to meet John's, eyes red for the briefest of moments, before returning to their natural color. His face screwing up in confusion. "It's Cora." He said, shifting to slip away from the couch, even as Isaac shifted to move out of his way before following behind him.
The door opened, revealing the name matched with the scent and heart beat. "Scott, is Stiles here?" She asked although she could now smell that his scent was faint here.
"No, he's not." Scott replied, Isaac followed that statement with "He left the Argents when he found out you and Derek left, he was heading to the loft on foot last time we checked..."
"Yeah that was...42 minutes ago?" Scott finished. Finally noticing, as Cora turned back towards the SUV parked awkwardly on the edge of the drive, Derek standing beside it. He seemed to get what he needed and faded into the dark, taking off towards the loft. Cora turned back towards Scott and Isaac with a smug smile. "Gonna let me in or what? He took the keys with him."
Why can't we ever see what's in front of us, until it's too late? The loft is cold, suddenly the space seems to big and I feel myself, under all my layers, shiver. Consumed by this immense darkness I feel, I don't even hear the intruder enter below. Nor the footsteps climbing the iron staircase.
Nothing until a warm concentrated breeze hits my neck.
"Stiles..." Derek was so close behind the boy. He'd already said his name twice now, and the boy did not turn. Something about the way his heartbeat was too steady, body lax and expression dark...it wasn't 'Stiles'. Not his Stiles. He closed the space between them, inhaling the humans scent before he turned around. Eyes almost dead as they tried to refocus. He noted the moment Stiles eyes hinted at recognition, and then suddenly surprise, and there...there it was. The humming drum of Stiles heartbeat kicking into over drive.
"Derek?" His voice is raw. Eyes glistening with tears not shed. A hand found its way to Derek's face, testing the truth with touch not trusting his eyes. He seemed to be satisfied with the result at least when he spoke next, tone changed to hopeful. "You're here, really here. But Scott said...I thought...you left."
Derek allowed himself to cover Stiles hand with his own. "I did, we did...but then I realized leaving without saying goodbye, after everything...I couldn't do it.." Stiles smiled ever so slightly, knowingly. But when he does not say a word, Derek continues. "Thank you Stiles, you have been here, with us, amidst all this chaos and terror, and even with your father gone, with Melissa and Scott gone, you came back for me. So, thank you."
For a few moments more, Stiles was quiet. A few different emotions crossing over his face before it seemed to settle. "You came back, to thank me?" Was he upset? Oh god, here we go. "You leave, without saying a damn thing, abandon the pack, and while you were out there driving off into the light of the moon, your only reason for turning around, was because of some guilt you wanted to weight off your conscience?!"
"No, that is not what I said." Derek replied, but Stiles was already walking away to the stairs. No, not now, he thought. There was so much more, he wasn't good with words. "STILES!" He strode three steps and wrapped his fingers firmly around the humans arm before spinning him around and smashing their lips together.
Alright, so, that wasn't exactly how he planned on going about this. The kiss was brief, just a press of lips. It was over just as quickly, Derek's eyes wide, along with Stiles. Both of which had their eyes locked on the others. "Did you just..." Stiles voice came out an octave higher than normal.
"Yes..."
"Just confirming I didn't imagine that whole thing." Stiles breathed out, Derek's only reply was a chuckle and a hint of a smile before Stiles reached a hand behind his neck and dragged him down. Pressing their lips together once more.
They would talk later about this, for now, Stiles held himself tightly to Derek as they touched and kissed, trying to become one with each other. Perhaps this happiness wouldn't last, but for now, they could live in the moment.
"Deaton warned us there was a price...something dark that would follow us for the rest of our lives. Sometimes …It's like I'm looking into the heart of an immense darkness".
- What do you do when it happens? How do you anchor?-
"I think of you."
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