Phoenix Royalwing looked around the bar, frowning a bit, peering around this pathetic little watering hole. She cringed, the rotten smell of cheap beer and awful cigarettes linging in the air, people glancing over at her every now and then. This was not a good bar. It wasn't even close to being a good bar. You could tell just from the foul miasma that hung in the air. Trying to cheer herself up, she made her way towards the back of the bar, where the jukebox was, wading through a haze of cigarette smoke.

She coughed a bit, then deposited a couple quarters inside. Something, ANY type of good tune might cheer her up in this rotten dive. But as she poured through the selections, she found herself becoming increasingly depressed. None of these were songs she recognized. Or they had such lovely titles like "Get Off My Dick" and "Jesus Made Me Fumble" and "Some N-rs Never Die, They Just Smell That Way".

"UGH. Alright, fine." She chose the only one she could stand. The Rolling Stone's "Sympathy for the Devil".

"Please allow me to introduce myself,

I'm a man...of wealth and taste!

I've been around for a long, long year,

Stole many a man's soul to waste!"

"The Rolling Stones?! The Rolling Stones?!" A big, burly, bald-headed man snarled out, approaching the jukebox. Before Phoenix could do anything, he had HEADBUTTED the thing in two, and it split down the middle with a loud KRRRC-KKRRRCHHHNNCHH noise. "I HATE BOY BANDS!" He muttered balefully.

Why was Phoenix even there? Simple. She was patrolling all of the local bars...or rather, as her ex lover Faith called them, "the local swilling buckets"...to track down a pedophilia and sex trafficking racket. It was spreading wide across Earth and on Mewni, more shockingly. Hearing something like this existed on Earth was disgusting but not too shocking, but on Mewni? Such a thing seemed so...ALIEN. Mewni was just so...cheery and innocent in so many ways.

And yet here she was, on a town on the edge of the magical border between the lands, waiting for her contact-

Ah. There he was. Globgor! He had shaved his head and dyed his fur, but it was him. She knew him anywhere. He had big, pointed ears, faintly tiger-esque stripes on his big, muscular frame, four eyes, yellow with red slit-like pupils, two little demon horns atop his head, a long, pointed nose, and a little goatee. He slid on next to Phoenix, glancing about before muttering out...

"Is this the location?"

"Only because the reservation changed." Phoenix murmured back. Globgor quietly nodded back.

"There's some storm clouds brewing. And it could get nasty. Shall we talk in private?" His gruff voice inquired, Phoenix nodding back as they slunk their way over to a booth far off in the corner, once more making their way through a haze of cigarette smoke. "So. I've been hard at work infiltrating the ring." He whispered out. "Bartender!" He roared. "Two Coronas!" He insisted. "No way in HELL am I drinking a Bud. Unless I was in the desert. Anything that isn't a corona can't come close to the fine alcoholic spirits of Mewni." He told Phoenix as the bartender tossed two Corona drinks at them, along with two mugs.

He caught them expertly in one hand, pouring calmly before nodding at Phoenix, raising the mug to his lips, and drinking whilst speaking. "The ring is led...SLURRRPPP...by several reprehensible monsters...SLRRRRPPPP...including a few demons. GGGLRRGG."

"Oh?" Phoenix pretended to drink as she tilted her head a bit. "Go on."

"They've heard about Olivia and Star. There's like this...well...they've got a star rating. And they've given the two Five Stars consistently." Globgor grunted in disgust. "It's utterly foul. They want those two. They're not just high profile, they're very cute. It adds a layer of desirability. These creeps love snatching up celebrity kids."

"Disgusting." Phoenix mumbled. "I'll give Iris a call immediately." She whispered back.

And where was Iris? Iris Heartbow was, at the moment, playing a game with Star, Olivia, Eclipsa and Meteora at Olivia's house. Gumdrop and Toffee were out on a date, and Olivia had invited them over for a game of Mario multiplayer games.

"It's funny. The fighting game is the one everyone works together the most in, and the party game is the one that destroys friendships." said Eclipsa nonchalantly as she tilted her head a bit, the young baby Meteora giggling a bit as she laid in Eclipsa's lap.

"Mommy make them boom-boom!" She proclaimed as Eclipsa laughed darkly, and with a KRAK-KOOOW, her Jigglypuff sent Olivia's Samus Aran flying whilst Star, who'd come rushing at her with Princess Peach, saw HER character getting tossed away.

"Darn it! Curse the phenomenal psychic powers of Jigglypuff!" Star dramatically proclaimed as she shook her fist in the air, Iris fiddling with the controller she had as she readied Mewtwo.

"You left yourself wide open!" She proclaimed, Mewtwo launching a Shadow Ball at Jigglypuff's slumbering form on the screen. PHA-PHROOOM! Poor Jigglypuff now flew through the air as Iris punched at the air with one hand. "Ah ha! S-U-C-C-E-S-S! That's the way you spell Success!" Iris Heartbow proclaimed.

"You all having a good time?" A cheery voice rang out from the yard outside as Iris glanced up. Her mother and father were there as well, they were in town, visiting, and had, evidently, finally arrived after letting Iris know over the phone earlier in the day that they had decided to drop by. Guava Mango Heartbow was a HUGE, enormous, faintly Tropius-esque orctaur. His thick hair was magical, his beard sprouting bananas, quavas, and of course, mangos, like the rest of his thick locks. He had thick green skin, a powerfully well-built body with rippling muscles, and thick golden armbands around his big wrists. He had an earring on, and deep, piercing eyes.

His wife was quite different. She had dark red hair and was taller than him at the moment since he was on all fours. She was slightly dark-skinned, a biracial woman who was a Mewman peasant with mixed blood. She had big poofy hair, a "Jewfro", a Jewish afro, and a cute face. At the moment, they were getting out a large box from the car, Iris sighing.

"Get ready, guys. My mom and dad brought their cheesecakes."

"Cheesecakes?" Star inquired, sounding confused.

"Yeah, my dad and mom live on earth. They work inside this little cheesecake and coffee shop and they're ALWAYS trying to push people to eat the cheesecakes even if people don't like cheesecake." Iris added. "And I don't like cheesecake so you can imagine how aggravating it got for me." She confessed with a sigh as her parents came in through the door, beaming broadly, holding up a big box full of cheesecake which had quite a strong aroma. It wasn't bad, but it was VERY strong.

"All your siblings say "hello", by the way." said her father. "And good day to all of you! Iris has told us so much about you. I'm Guava Mango Heartbow but please, all my friends call me "Gym"." He said as they paused the game and walked over, one by one, to shake his and Lana Citrus's hands. "Lana Citrus, my darling wife and partner!"

"Pleasure!" Lana said cheerily. "You've a lovely home, Olivia." She said with a bow, Olivia smiling a bit. "Want to try some of our cheesecake?"

"Oh, c'mon guys, not right-" Iris began to say. Then her phone rang, Iris sighing.

Wave your hands side-to-side, put it in the air! Wave your hands side-to-side, put it in the air! Clap-clap-clap like you don't care!

"Ah, sorry guys. One moment." She apologized, picking up her cell phone and heading for the next room. "Hello?"

"Iris. It's me."

Iris turned pale. PHOENIX. If she was calling, this was serious. She raced into the bathroom, locking the door. "What is it?" She whispered softly.

"It's the pedo ring. Globgor told me they want to make a move on Star and Olivia!"

"Oh geez." Iris groaned. Her parents were already rather on edge this week. It was the anniversary of the week her mom had run away from her abusive, drunken father to be with her darling Gym, and over the past few weeks, her dad had been sending awful, rotten letters, filling her mother and father with stress. THIS sort of crap was not what they needed to hear! They didn't need to hear that their daughter's best friends were being targeted by creepy cross-dimensional pedo kidnappers! Not only that, when SHE worried, her parents started to worry.

Her parents had endured enough. She didn't want to put them through this too. But she'd have to find a way to let Star and Olivia know without her parents overhearing...ah ha! She had an idea. Exiting the bathroom, she made her way back to the others just as a car noise came from outside, indicating Toffee and Gumdrop were back. "Olivia, why don't you take Toffee and Gumdrop and show my parents around your lovely home?" Iris suggested.

Olivia looked a bit mortified. Show them around the house? That was so lame and boring and-

But then Gumdrop entered the house with Toffee, the two eagerly greeting her parents, and Gumdrop said "Why don't we show you around? Olivia?"

"...okaaaaaaaaay." She mumbled, getting up from the couch and making her way over to Toffee and Gumdrop and Lana and Gym, as they headed for the next room and Iris slid over to Star on the couch.

"Star, listen." She whispered as Eclipsa rocked Meteora back and forth, humming a song to her. "We got a report from Phoenix about an underage slavery ring that's into kidnapping young girls for...ICKY STUFF." She murmured, Star's eyes going wide.

"You mean a pedo r-ewwww!" She stuck her tongue out in disgust. "I thought that stuff was made up!"

"Nope. It's real, and evidently, you and Olivia are big targets. Until we take it down, you two are in huge danger." Iris went on, murmuring softly into Star's ear. "So I need to find a way to let Olivia know without my parents overhearing...without ANY of our parents overhearing, if we can help it. They've been through a lot lately, I don't want them worrying over this."

"Okay. I've got it. When Olivia comes back from showing them the house, you can suggest to your parents that they bring back more of there cheesecake because we just loved it so much, we want more! That way we'll have plenty of time to tell her." Star said.

"But...that means..." Iris stammered, looking at the large box of cheesecake on the table nearby, Star whipping out a bib, a fork and a knife.

"...tis a far, far better thing that we do now...than we have ever done!" She whispered, Iris sighing as she pulled out her own fork and knife.

...

...

...

... "Oh wow. You two must have been so hungry if you ate it all in one sitting!" announced Lana, poor Star and Iris slightly covered in cheesecake all over their faces, looking slightly sick as Iris nervously smiled, Eclipsa giggling at the sight as Meteroa slept in her arms.

"Oh, y-URRP! Yes. W-We loved it so m-much...could you pretty p-please get another one of your wonderful-URRRRRRP! Wonderful cheesecakes so everyone else could share? We're ever so-BRAAAAP! S-Sorry we ate it all." Star nervously apologized.

"Oh, that's no problem, dearie." Lana laughed as Gym nodded in agreement, the two heading for their car outside as Olivia tilted her head to the side.

"Okay, why did you wanna get rid of me?"

"So my parents wouldn't overhear that a pedo ring is trying to snatch you and Star up. They're REALLY on edge from my abusive grandpa sending them death threats in the mail for weeks and weeks now and they don't need the stress..."

"And we do?!" Toffee growled, slapping his forehead. "Ugh. Well, at least now we all know. Alright, we'll get the gang together and think up a plan. A way to flush these disgusting creatures out-"

"Any plan you craft HAS to involve us." said a voice from the doorway, everyone whipping around to see Gym and Lana there, folding their arms over their chests.

"...M-Mom! D-Dad! Wh-what's going-" Iris stammered as Gym held up a hand.

"Your window's open. I heard everything. I have VERY good hearing." He said, pointing at his ears. "Iris, it's very sweet you didn't want us to worry, but we're parents. YOUR parents. Worrying about the safety of you and your friends? That's all part of being a parent." He reasoned. "So...what's our plan of attack?"

"Time to make some calls." Gumdrop said, getting his phone out. "I think a good town hall will work nicely, don't you?"

Within an hour, everyone had gathered at the town hall. Gantu and Venus Moonstone were handing out various drinks and chips and snack foods as people murmured and mumbled among themselves, Toffee animatedly chatting it up with Gym as Eclipsa sat with her husband, the two tickling Meteroa. Gumdrop was on the stage of the town hall, Star and Olivia with him and holding a draped-over large board whilst Lana stood near the lights. When five minutes had passed, she turned all of them but the lights over the stage off, allowing all eyes to focus in on gumdrop as the brown-haired human adjusted the glasses he had, and then cleared his throat.

"We've got a serious issue on our hands with this pedo ring. I know that some people in town have had their children targeted, not just our own." He added, a few parents in the crowd nodding sadly or angrily. "So it's time we fought back." He insisted, slamming his fist into his palm.

"How are we going to do that, exactly?" Tom Lucitor demanded to know. "I mean, who are these digusting pedo freaks?"

"Unfortunately, quite a lot of them are...well, they're not just monsters, they're MONSTERS. Literal. And literal demons too."

Tom gaped, Toffee cringing in disgust as Bullfrog glanced around at his darling children, a few Mewmen and indingeous Mewnians, aka "the monsters" murmuring amongst themselves.

"I was very...very mad when I found out." Globnor confessed darkly, his eyes glittering dangerous. "We would have skype conversations with each other, and I'd recognize enough features even BEHIND the masks they wore or the voice changers they used. Things like demon horns and tails and everything. And it gets worse."

"How could it get any worse?" Moon inquired, her voice icy and cold, Eclipsa digging one of her gloved hands's into her knee.

"They, um...their intitiation ritual involves kidnapping a father and his child and...r...raping them. I had to...I mean..." Globnor covered his face.

"I'll finish." Hoka spoke up, Venus's brother standing up. "See, Globnor was working with another guy who we'll call "Michael". He who volunteered to go undercover with Globnor to work as the "victim" so Globnor could get into the group undercover. Unluckily, we found out his son had been taken too and for the intitiation-" Hoka murmured quietly, unable to finish as a loud, furious voice rang through the city hall air.

"THOSE PIECES OF SHIT!" Bismuth roared out, Amethyst trying to hold her back with Pearl whilst Garnet tried to hold Jasper back, Jasper having picked up a chair and tossed it into the wall, embedding it there, and about to snatch up another. "That's just fuckin' disgusting!" She growled, several men having fainted dead away.

"I can't believe they'd do this!"

"That's just digusting! Going after little girls was bad enough but doing it to little boys too?!"

"Do they understand shame at ALL?!"

"Indeed! Thanks to the efforts of Eclipsa's husband, Globnor, we know at least TWO of these scumbag's names. And thanks to the magic of the internet, we can track them down. Here's what we're going to do. We'll divide into groups and track them, and we'll set up a fake meet and greet with their screen names to meet at their homes." Gumdrop explained further.

"We'll have these freaky jerks dress up in a specific way so that we'll KNOW they're the targets." Olivia said, she and Star removing the drape, showing off a diagram of a big, fancy tuxedo outfit, and five maps of five cities. "They'll dress up all nice and they'll be told to put a single balloon out at their mailbox."

"Why balloons?"

"Because balloons are wonderful." Star explained.

"Oh, absolutely!" Olivia agreed.

"Now, the name of these guys? Hank Jakov and Buck Puskovich, and Globnor has identified they're Americans who, based on how their ACCENTS in Skype chats, live in the South. Thankfully, there's actually not that many people with those names. The only ones that are live in these five cities." Star went on. "So we'll send groups to the homes of these guys along with the set-up email we'll send explaining what they need to do to meet up with a cute little preteen who's interested in "exploring adult stuff". Whomever puts that balloon out and that tuxedo on...that's our targets."

"Any questions?" Gumdrop asked.

"What do we do when we catch them?" Gantu inquired.

"...you gotta ask?" Gumdrop said coldly as Gantu shook his head slowly.

"No. No, I think we all know what we need to do..."

"So let's get them!" Prometheus the young naga hissed in delight, punching into the air. Olivia smiled approvingly as to the shocked surprise of the adults , the kids all began pulling weapons out of the unlikeliest places. Wandering Star tottered awkwardly with a double headed halberd, Tom Lucitor pulled out a charm thingy ,blew on it and several rolling pins ,pots ,pans and skillets came foutaining out of it. Globgor and Eclipsa both got surprised and worried looks of alarm as Meteora pulled her dirty diaper out of her toy purse and made motions to throw it , especially when they saw the wick sticking out of it.

Iris and Jia were currently comparing two huge tasers , measuring them, having a shocking contest. As in they wanted to see which one sounded more ominous and potentially life threatening. Lilo currently was helping Jia unload some rather...sharp fletchettes out of her panty lining. Namely by unzipping the hidden compartments in the panties.

She herself had little sharp claws on her fingernails. Olivia meanwhile, proudly admired her newly rebuilt, this time for keeps , wand . Looking a lot like a hybrid between an ankh, a Celtic knot and having a Sheikah Eye in it's crystal , she gave a few waves. "Time to bust some heads!"

...

...

...

...Olivia twirled her wand, grinning darkly, Tom Lucitor hiding with her behind a bush, cracking his knuckles a bit as Lilo readied a big, fat, spiked mace. Gym was hiding alongside them, Toffee included, both of whom were sharpening knives.

"We'll know if he's Hank or Buck soon enough." Olivia murmured.

I'm on the internet, posing as a little girl,

I'm tryin to lure evil into my world!

I tell them that I'm curious, and I'm only 12!

Mom and Dad are gone for the day, I'm by myself!

And then...there it was. Coming outside the house in a tuxedo was a distinctly demonic-looking, four-eyed man who tied a single red balloon to his mailbox. A curvy little tail poked out of the end of his pants, his skin a bright blue as the others looked around at each other, evilly grinning.

"Olivia...sweetheart? Would you like to do the honors?" Toffee said sweetly.

Olivia beamed in dark glee, bouncing up to the front door.

The doorbell rings, I gotta get them inside!

In my best little girls voice I'm like," Hi! Come on in! I'm putting on my bikini!"

And when the door shuts, that's when I let them see me!

DING-DOOONG!

"Coming, coming!" said the man inside, opening up the door, staring. "Oh wow, it's actually-"

And then she stabbed him straight in the neck with the end of her wand, forcing him back, as he reeled and howled, clutching at his wound. "OOWWWW! OH-HOO-HOO-HOO!" He howled out, the others racing inside, Gym blocking the door, sinisterly grinning as Tom, Lilo and Toffee surrounded the bawling man on the floor, Lilo readying the mace.

I stab him in the neck first, cause it hurts!

Hit him where the blood squirts! Carve his whole face off and make him eat it!

Chain him up by the foot in my basement, bleeding!

I'm probably gonna burn for this,

Ain't no lesson to learn from this,

There's nothing I will earn...

But it sure is fun!

(To catch a predator) I said it sure is fun!

(To catch a predator) And it sure is fun!

(To catch a predator)

"Take away his weapon." Oliva growled at Lilo, who brought the mace down between the guy's leg.

"GOOOWWW-HOOO-HOOO-HOOOO!"

"Shall we?" Tom said, holding up his fist as burning fire rose up, Toffee forcing the man up, stuffing a ball gag into his mouth as Lilo and Olivia began ripping his clothes off.

"Yes. I'd like him EVENLY COOKED." Toffee growled as Gym smirked darkly. Tom got to work, ignoring the man's terrified screaming and yelling, nonchalantly using his fiery might to evenly roast the man alive, nonchalantly humming a bit. After a good, long time, his work was done, and Gym and Toffee now brought the still-alive, but throughly-cooked man over to the kitchen table, the two getting out some knives and fork.

"After you!" Toffee remarked. "I do always seem to get first cut, I'd like to be polite and give you the chance."

"You're far too kind." Gym intoned, bowing his head. He began to slice off a big piece from the large rump of the demonic pedo, taking a bit, toothy bite, leeting the juices seep into his maw as he savored the fast-cooked flesh. "Mmmm. How juicy and fresh!" He remarked, nodding over at Toffee as he took a slice of breast meat himself, tossing the whole piece into his jaws. He chomped down, the juice exploding in his mouth in a burst of flavour.

"MMMM. Very nice!" Toffee remarked in delight, the kids going through the house, looking for the man's computer, his records, anything that could help them to track down the other members of the group as Gym got to work on the man's delicious feet, cutting them off, whole, and gulping them down. Within just a few minutes, there wasn't anything left of the pedo but bones and a head, which even then Gym swallowed up in a big, fat GLA-GLORK of a gulp.

"Quite nice." He remarked. "I admit, I could get used to this."

"Maybe we're a bit TOO used to this." Lilo confessed to Olivia. "I mean...wow. We were all SO eager to just go along with this. Maybe we're all getting...desensitized to this sort of thing."

Everyone thought about this for a moment, rubbing their chins thoughtfully or scratching their heads. Then...

"...naaaaaaah!" They all decided at once, shaking their heads.

"C'mon. Let's call up our friends, see if they had any luck." Gym offered.

"We could Skype them! With THIS." Olivia announced as they turned, seeing her pulling open the door to a "closet". In reality, it led down to a secret basement, a second doorway behind the closet descending down a large flight of stairs to an enormous, dimly lit room that was filled with pornographic pictures, a big, huge chair in front of a large computer setup, stacks and stacks of porno and nudie magazines...and a screen saver of-

"OH. Well. Can't unsee THAT!" Olivia squeaked out, Lilo staring in shock, Tom gaping, Toffee looking sick as Gym cringed.

"Oh dear Lord in Heaven is that a little boy's..."

"That...that can't possibly be a REAL dead body..." Olivia murmured. "Nobody would be that...I mean..."

"I'LL handle this!" Toffee said quickly, racing over to the computer keyboard. "Just, ah, escort our children out." Gym nodded quickly, leading the children out as he looked through the files on the computer. Ugh. How disgusting. The only good news was that this man had many, many connections they could exploit...

Toffee slowly licked his lips. They were ALL going to pay.

ALL of them...