Embrace your Feminity

Once upon a time (i.e. - this morning), CuttingAcidity reread the rules of this website. She realized, author notes were against them, and decided to incorporate her note into the story. She also realized how paranoid she was about avoiding breaking rules, and apologizes for it. Besides, breaking the fourth wall is a lot of fun, and she writes for fun, so it's okay by her book. Anyway, she decides to write about Suits. Here is what she made:


Mike Ross was late. He was late by a whole hour. He hadn't thought it would have much of an effect.

But it did. So, sadly, Harvey McUncaring had to investigate.

Donna was cranky; having missed the cup of coffee Mike brought her regularly. Louis was annoyed as he didn't have the prodigious associate to give his grunt work, and Kyle was pissed, because Louis' work was going to him instead. Rachel was the only one who actually missed him.

But she had her own work to do, so she let it slide.

Harvey didn't care about what everyone felt. Hell, he didn't know who the hell Kyle was. But Donna was pissed, and taking it out on him, which was a health hazard, both physically and emotionally.

To be fair, it wasn't Mike's fault he hadn't been on time. If Harvey had known the problem, he'd have thanked his lucky stars Mike had the sense to be absent.


The author has just realized there's a perfectly good chocolate sundae in the freezer. While she eats, keep in mind that this was just the prologue. The real story's yet to begin.


And we're back. Even if you didn't notice the time CA spent on her muffin, she did, and would like to make up for it with starting the actual story.

You may now face palm at her idiocy.


Mike was currently in the most awkward situation he'd ever been in. Worse than the time he'd played tennis with Louis. Worse than the times his phone had rang in the middle of court. Worse than the time his bag had opened, and spilled piles of pot onto the floor of Harvey's office.

No, they didn't even come close.

He'd woken up feeling weird. Yesterday's client had been a scientist making 'Ultratocin', a portmanteau of 'ultra' and 'oxytocin'; a powerful hormone, that, in regular doses, could turn a man into a woman.

You can see what I'm getting at.

CA doesn't think that hormones can travel through air, and spread like diseases, but Ultratocin was apparently exempt to this rule.

The first thing Mike noticed was how heavy his chest felt. He was a skinny person, so the sensation of flesh hanging off him was completely new, and entirely uncomfortable. He put the heaviness down to coming down with a cold or something, but he knew something was wrong when a lock of hair brushed past his shoulder. CA will refrain from mentioning how he felt down there, because she is rather squeamish, and honestly doesn't know. She imagines it must be like losing a body part you've taken for granted, and getting a hole instead.

Mike got up and went to look for a mirror. He knew about phantom sensory, hallucinations, and cognitive impairment, but what he was feeling seems pretty weird. His hair felt like a bird had made a nest in it, and his chest was pulling him down.

When he actually got to the mirror, he saw a pretty girl, with really messy bed hair, wearing his shirt and his boxers. She almost looked like a female version of him.

It took him a minute to realize that he couldn't see himself in the mirror, but when he did, Mike splashed some water on his face, and when he still wasn't visible, he went back to bed, because this was obviously a dream.


CA has decided to change the point of view now, though she could have done it in a more subtle way than just announce it like this.

She just doesn't listen to me anymore.


Mike didn't pick up his phone.

Well, not on the first few rings. And even then it wasn't him.

"… Harvey?" it was some girl, tired and croaking, though how she knew his name, Harvey didn't know.

"I'm sorry, is Mike there?" Even if Mike was cheating on his paralegal friend, Harvey felt it necessary to be polite to the woman. Besides, he already had a pissed off Donna on his hands; another angry lady was a little too much at the moment.

"… Um, Mike… won't be able to come today… sorry. He's… not well today." Harvey chuckled to himself. He wouldn't let Mike spend the day wallowing around with some girl, when there was work to be done.

"He's sick, is he? So, if I came over there to, say, give him some soup, what would I find?"

"… Mike?"

"Oh, is that so? Well then, I'm coming over."

"What!?" Poor girl, caught in the act. "You won't do that, it's a work day. Besides, that would be outright admitting you care. About Mike."

"Listen, woman, I don't know what the puppy told you, but I need him at work today. Not because I care or anything, but I employed him for a reason, and if he thinks he can just skip a day for no plausible reason, then he can skip this job. Believe me, there are hundreds of other people who would gladly die to get a chance to work for me." Okay, maybe a little harsh, but there was a point to be made, and Harvey didn't like taking the long route.

"… He's on his way."

Good.


CA thinks the POV should be changed again.

Subtlety is definitely not her thing.


Mike searched desperately for something to wear. He didn't own any dresses or clothes for girls, so it was quite a difficult job.

Finally, he settled on simply wearing one of his suits to work, but with the jacket unbuttoned like some girl he'd seen at the grocers. It looked weird, especially on the chest and hips, but at least he didn't look like a female hobo, if they even existed. He decided against cutting his hair, as it would make him look weird, and attract unwanted attention.

He took a quick stop to buy shoes, as none of his actually fit. Of course, this made him a little late, but he decided it was better than coming to work looking like a woman with gender dysphoria.

Then he took a cab, because women's shoes are extremely hard to ride a bike in.

He didn't know whether or not to be amused by his coworkers' expressions when they saw him. Apparently, he turned them on.

Harvey was vaguely annoyed when a tall, dirty blonde woman walked into his office, instead of Mike.

"Harvey, I can explain."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes… or at least I think I can, I can tell you what happened but there's no guarantee you'll-

"Okay, okay, I understand." The woman was a lot like Mike in a way.

"Aha, 'I understand', the Jim Belushi of-

"Get to the point!" that was Donna through the intercom, apparently very interested in what was going on.

"Sorry Donna." Before she could ask how she knew her name, the lady leaned forward and disconnected the intercom.

"Harvey, you know our client's product, 'Ultratocin?' It turns a man into a woman?

"Yes, I am aware of 'Ultratocin'."

"Yes? Please keep that in mind as I tell you this."

Harvey smiled. He made this person nervous by his mere aura. Now that was something to be proud of.

"Okay, here goes." The woman took a deep breath. "I'm Mike."

And Harvey, very masculinely, choked on air.


The POV's changing again.

Just… letting you know…


"Okay, let me get this straight."

Mike was getting annoyed. He had explained the situation thoroughly, and lengthily, which was not an easy task, seeing as he himself didn't know much about what was going on, but Harvey still failed to understand.

"You accidentally ingested some of our client's product, and are now a fully functioning woman."

Mike sighed with frustration. "Yes, Harvey, for the last time, that's the whole story."

"Well, someone's not in a good mood today."

"Well, of course I'm not in a good mood, I'm a freaking woman! I have breasts!" Not bad ones either.

"Well, you better get used to them; I'm not letting you go home today."

Mike stared at Harvey. "You mean I have to work like this?"

"I don't see why not." Harvey was the very picture of calm, as if what was happening did not affect him at all. "Tell you what; I'm going to introduce you to everyone as a woman. And you better work, because if you can't handle hormonal imbalance, you're not worth the money we pay you."

"… Okay." After all, there was nothing he could do.


CA will end the first part here. She apologizes that it isn't that well written, but she had fun writing it- and she hopes you had fun reading it too. If you didn't like the way she broke the fourth wall, do tell her, because then she can write it normally, and blame you if anyone asks. (Joking, joking). CA is not much of a Marvey fan, so she's planning to write a story wherein Mike is a girl from the beginning so she can try something new and fun

Feedback is appreciated!