Disclaimer: Didn't get Spooks for Christmas, so it's not mine. The films aren't mine either.
A/N: To the POGs, because they made me write the thing that inspired this, I love you all.
i. Sleepless in Seattle.
You hate that movie. It's soppiness with an American accent. But something about it reminds you of him.
You used to like those moments and all the cute stuff. Then you met them. Between them they taught you things that GCHQ couldn't.
Harry taught you what love is. He taught you that it's more subtle than the moments when the world just stops.
Danny taught you that life was worth living. That no matter what happened someone would be there waiting for you at the end. You hope that someone was waiting for him. And that he's found them.
You can only hope he's happy.
You know that you're not. There's only one person you care for now, and he's lingering just out of your reach.
ii. Black Beauty.
You've never been much of an animal person. You read the book once when you were 6, then you saw the film when you joined GCHQ.
You've never really liked film adaptations of books. But something in this strikes a chord in you. The mix of bravery and pure feeling pulls you in.
You cry when you hear the gunshot. Memories cloud your vision and for a moment the world stops and you see his face.
So full of life, yet so empty.
You see the events of the last week in fast forward and the TV screen blurs as tears begin to glaze your eyes and the entire room loses the focus it once held.
You've never thought much of films with happy endings, they seem all the less realistic.
iii. Chocolat.
You've always had a soft spot of Johnny Depp. Not as big as the one you have for Harry, but still one.
It's the sort of story you like to run too after a long day, girl meets boy and boom everyone's happy. If only life worked out that way.
You've thought of running away before. You've entertained the idea of starting a quaint little shop somewhere in the country. Every time you watch this the idea re-enters your mind.
You know it's stupid, that you could never run away, especially not now.
So you wonder what he wanted to do. He could have done anything, played cricket, charmed his way to the top. Instead his insane sense of duty took him to a horrible end.
It'll take you to yours as well.
You think about running away again.
iv. Schindler's List.
Fidget's waiting for you when she slump onto the sofa. "Why did I choose this life?" You breathe, tears beginning to slide down your cheeks as a girl wearing a red coat steps out. "First Tom, then Zoë and now Danny."
You remember Harry's words from earlier that day, when the bang had resounded around the grid, 'Well we can't be put under sedation, can we? We're the ones who've got to stay focused and sort this out. Help Adam, and find out where they're holding the last hostage. I'm relying on you, Ruth. There'll be time to grieve later. I promise you, there will be time to grieve, but not now. This is not about Danny and Fiona but about two hostages. We can still save the second hostage.'
You hate how he managed to de-personalise the matter, make it seem like any other operation, it had helped you fight back that threatened to fall.
Now you're by yourself (Fidget hardly counts), it's just you and the film playing in the background.
So the tears come, and don't stop.
v. A Beautiful Mind.
You tell yourself to forget. Because no matter what, there's still you and him.
I'm still here with you Danny. I'll stay right here with you.
