Complicated
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
AN: I originally started to post this story earlier in the year. I have recently decided to fix the corner I had written myself into and re-post. That being said the first chapter is still pretty much the same.
Rating: M (just to be on the super safe side)
Chapter One
"Why lie?"
Emma stared at Mark in shock, this was definitely not what she had expected when she had come to him with her request. A long time ago Mark having said that would have set her heart a flutter but things were different now and she didn't even entertain the idea for moment before she was shaking her head sadly.
"That wouldn't be a good idea" she replied softly. There was one thing she was certain of, her heart belonged to Julian and regardless of the heartache it caused her it always would. One day she would have to move on but today was not that day and her heart certainly wasn't ready to even try.
"Are you sure?" Mark asked just as softly, "It would provide both of us with a welcome distraction". His thoughts turning to his own failed relationship with Kieran, and that speck of jealousy he had felt when he saw Christina in her room this morning, the reasons behind which he wasn't ready to explore just yet.
"Yeah, I'm sure. It wouldn't be fair to either of us" Emma said, hoping Mark would understand it was for the best but that he would still agree to her plan, she desperately needed her plan to work for it was the only way she had to protect Julian.
"So you don't actually want to be together but you want to pretend we are?" Mark replied, making sure he had an understanding of the situation.
Emma sighed, when put like that it sounded crazy.
"Look Mark I know it is crazy but it is the only way I can think to save Julian, please I need your help" Emma could feel the tight control of emotions slipping. She needed to get Mark's agreement, so she could be alone and finally give in to the emotions that were desperately fighting to break free of her control.
"But you aren't going to tell me why this will protect Julian?" Mark asked, still not completely committed to Emma's plan.
"I would if I could" Emma knew she could trust Mark but she didn't want to burden him with her and Julian's secret. Instead she looked at him, her eyes begging him to trust her.
Silence filled the room as Mark looked back at Emma, he could see the desperation in her eyes and her absolute desire to protect Julian at any cost. And in the end that is what made him decide to agree to her crazy plan. He may not know all the details but when it came to protecting his younger brother, he knew there was no one fiercer then Emma. So if she thought it needed to be done then he would help her.
"Okay, let's do this"
After Mark agreed to her plan, Emma had quickly shooed him from her room with promises to talk tomorrow. Her emotions were completely frayed and she needed to be alone. Once she was sure Mark had gone, she locked her door, crawled on to her bed and finally let herself lose control.
Hours later Emma woke from a fitful sleep, she didn't know how long she had cried for but eventually she had cried herself to sleep and now her head was pounding and her eyes were swollen and sore. She needed some fresh air so getting out of bed she slipped silently out of her room and down the dark hallway, sometime during her breakdown night had fallen and the residents of the institute had long gone to bed and the place was eerily quiet. Silently she padded through the familiar halls and quickly found herself out the front of the institute. Breathing in the fresh air, she felt herself becoming calmer, she may have a fear of the ocean but she still found the smell of the salt air relaxing. Making her way down to the beach. She felt herself relax even more as she walked, she refused to think about anything other than the cool breeze coming of the ocean and the warm sand under her feet. Everything else could wait, right now all Emma needed was to relax and forget about her troubles for a little bit. Finally reaching the end of the beach she sat herself down on the sand and looked out over the ocean.
As she sat, she let her thoughts wander. So much had happened lately and she had barely had any time to process any of it. Her parent's murderer had been discovered and dealt with, Tavvy had been kidnapped and rescued, and the Clave had discovered the secrets they had been hiding and yet had left with so many more undiscovered. The biggest being that Julian had been running the institute since he was twelve, Emma still wasn't sure how he had done that without her finding out sooner but it went to prove his devotion to his family and regardless of her feelings for him she wouldn't let anything happen to him that would take him away from them.
She sighed, of course her thoughts had come back around to Julian and their relationship. It's all that she seemed to think about lately. Just then a noise caught her attention and as she looked up she saw the person on her mind walking towards her.
"Julian" she whispered quietly
Even though it had been the barest whisper of sound, Julian's head whipped up and he caught sight of Emma. Anyone else probably would have missed the slight stiffing of his posture but even from this distant Emma could see the tension that entered his body at the sight of her. Clearly their earlier conversation had been playing on his mind and he too had retreated to the beach in search of some peace.
Quietly he made his way over to her and gently sat beside her.
"We shouldn't be here together" Emma said quietly not looking at her best friend.
Julian didn't respond right away, instead he just stared out into the ocean as she had been doing. Finally, he looked over at her and said "Why not, we are still friends right? Still parabatai? Why can't two friends sit on the beach together?
"You know it isn't that simple anymore" Emma replied, trying to keep that calm feeling she had worked so hard to achieved. The mere presence of her parabatai sent her emotions into chaos, her desire to curl up in his arms and forget all their troubles warred directly with the knowledge that she needed to maintain distant between the two of them if her plan ever had a hope of working.
"It can be if you let it" Julian answered. "We have always comforted each other in the past, always been there for each other, why not now? It is what parabatai do after all right?" and with that he put his arm out, inviting her into his embrace.
Emma stared at him for a long minute before she scooted over and dropped her head onto his shoulder. Julian's arm came down to rest across her back and refusing to think about all the reasons it was a bad idea, Emma let herself relax into the familiar embrace. Being around Julian had always calmed her and now was no exception. Soon she would have to put her plan into action and then Julian would hate her but for now she just relaxed against him and let her worries fade away.
