Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with the creators of Glee in any way.
Author's Note: Another one-shot! Review please :D
"I'm so nervous, Jesse. What if I fall? I just want this day to be perfect, and if I fall…well it won't be perfect." Rachel looked over at Jesse as he chuckled. Confusion washed over her face, "Why are you laughing? I'm being serious." He casually walked over to the girl before him smiling, he said, "You are the biggest drama queen I know." Rachel scrunched her face at his response. "You're horrible. You're going to feel bad when you remember how you teased me, and how well I treated you on your day." He smiled sadly; did she not know that he would never have his own day? His heart, much to his brain's annoyance, would never permit him to have one.
He looked away, "You're right, but you know I'm not one for freak outs." She contemplated for a minute, "perhaps you're right. You never know though." She studied herself in the mirror, tilting her head to the side she sighed. Jesse walked over to the table humorously rolling his eyes. He reached for a medium sized box. Taking the contents of the box out, he walked over to Rachel. "I look like a giant marshmallow." He turned her to look at him, "You look stunning, and you aren't going to fall, I promise." Jesse placed the veil carefully on her head.
Without being able to stop himself he sighed, "Do you ever wonder how it might all be different if it were me in the other room pacing back and forth while anticipation to see you eats me away? How instead of me walking you down the aisle, it would be Finn?" Rachel's eyes pleaded to him, "don't start, Jesse. Please." She turned her attention back at the mirror.
"What? I merely asked you a question, you don't have to read into it deeply." Placing his hand in his pockets he leaned against the wall next to her. "We had our shot, Jesse. We just didn't work out."
"We didn't work out because you didn't give me a chance."
"We argued constantly…" she declared.
"We argued because you didn't trust me while I was away at college. How could you not believe that I was loyal to you?"
"Jesse…it's complicated. You were becoming such a big star; women were practically flaunting themselves at you. How could I not suspect you cheating on me? Especially with your History" she added.
"…because we made love. Because you were the first woman I ever fell in love with. That's reason enough for me to want to be loyal to you."
Two bodies lay in the dark, heavy breathing was all to be heard as the smell of sex lingered on even after it was done with. Rachel began to drift off into a slumber. Not bothering to check if she was awake, Jesse stared at the ceiling. "It's sort of humorous" He started. "I don't think I've ever made love. I guess it was my first time too. It's a little frightening, I must admit."
"What is?" Rachel murmured as she fought to stay awake.
"Being in love. Knowing you have that much power over me. It terrifies me. I've never allowed anyone to get this close to me."
"There's a first time for everything, I suppose." She yawned, not really processing what he had just declared.
He chuckled at her answer. "Well I suppose you're right. It seems that you've changed me, I'm still deciding if it's for the better or not."
After a few moments with no answer he arose from the bed. Her room had become a sort of sanctuary for him. Plush dolls and pink walls were all he looked forward to at the end of the day, instead of going home to an empty house with nothing but remnants of what used to be a family.
"Jesse…you can't do this right now. Not right now." She begged.
Jesse held her arms lightly "if not now then when? In a few moments it'll be too late. I just need to let this out before you go ahead and do this."
"I don't understand why you feel like you have to do this." Rachel sighed.
"I have to do this because I want to make my heart realize you aren't coming back to me. I keep telling myself that I'll get over you. I can't seem to do that when I constantly compare women to you. They always seem to come up short. And I see you with him and I can't help but wonder just what happened. It was all such a blur, and I wanted to keep fighting for you. You didn't let me though. You threw in the towel so quickly even after you told me before that you would never give up."
Rachel blinked a few times to keep the tears from falling. "I couldn't take it anymore, Jesse. There was always something to argue about. It wasn't healthy for either of us."
"But…why didn't the good ever outweigh the bad? It always did for me." He whispered.
"It did…I mean…I don't know Jesse. I just need you to be here for me. I need you so much right now, and no other person will do…you're my best friend." She faintly admitted.
His heart clenched, "Is that all I was ever going to be? I have to be your best friend and pretend that we were never together?"
"No…I don't want you to forget. I don't want you to forget a single moment, because we shared such beautiful ones." She caressed his cheek lightly.
He reached for her hand and kissed it softly. "You should be with me, Rachel. But if you believe that you'll be happy with Finn, without a doubt in your mind; promise me you won't let him hurt you. And know I'll always be here for you…even if it kills me to see you in this beautiful wedding dress that you aren't wearing for me."
Rachel hugged him tightly, "you know I'll always love you, Jesse."
He closed his eyes tightly. This moment would be etched in his memory forever, whether he wanted it or not. "I know."
The newlyweds were surrounded by many people as Jesse stood by the bar. He looked at Finn who was currently beaming. Giving Rachel away to him was the hardest thing he ever had to do. The walk down the aisle seemed like a mere two steps. He turned away to take a sip of his drink. Hearing the crowd cheer as Rachel threw the bouquet sadly stuck his hand in his pocket to pull out an engagement ring.
"Have you seen Rachel?" Jesse asked a random friend at the party as the music blasted away making it hard for him to concentrate on the person's answer.
"Yeah, she's by the bar with Quinn." Jesse hurriedly walked over to see Rachel. He smiled and apologized to Quinn for stealing her away. Taking her to a quiet terrace he smiled at her.
She laughed lightly, "Jesse, why are we out here." He looked up at the starts and smirked.
"40." He stated
"40?" she raised her brow in confusion.
"That's how many star's I counted, and you can't call those because I already beat you to it."
Rachel laughed, "Oh darn…whatever shall I-"
"Rachel? There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you." Finn walked over the young beauty and acknowledged Jesse briefly.
Jesse turned away, silently cursing his friend for ruining a perfect moment.
"I had to ask you something important, Rachel"
"What is it?"
With that Finn knelt down and popped out a ring. "Will you marry me, Rachel Berry?"
Jesse let the ring fall on the floor; walking away he didn't dare look back at Rachel who looked at him with the realization of why he had taken her out to the terrace that night.
