I know I was only five when I died. My life was over all because I wanted to go swimming that day. I had those bad dreams and I wanted to not be afraid anymore. That's why I jumped in and just swam away. I had so much control those first few minutes and then it got harder. I decided to rest for just a minute but I guess it was too long. I started to sink a little but I was not one bit scared. It felt good to drop and let my body fall down.
Then my strength kicked in again. I pushed myself back up and away I swam. I was swimming the best I'd ever done in my whole life. I had so much energy that I could turn back and swim at any moment and brag to my brothers about how great I was. Anytime I could beat the boys at anything, I was so proud, I didn't care who it hurt. It wasn't until I turned around that I mommy and daddy standing on the beach holding another little girl.
"Who is that?" I asked out loud. That was silly. There was nobody there except myself, I had gone so far out. I then began to swim very fast so I could meet them.
I almost wish I hadn't gone back to the beach. Mommy and daddy were crying. Why were they doing that? Was that little girl making them upset? I was putting up my dukes already to swing at that little brat. Nobody was going to mess with daddy and mommy like that! Not if I could help it.
I couldn't help it. Mommy gave the little girl back to daddy and I finally saw who the girl was. I surprised to find my own face looking back at me. Well, okay, my eyes were closed but how could that be? I was here, I was okay, I was awake. That couldn't have been me. Especially since my daddy started singing a sad song while he was dancing. There was no way I would allow him to sing me a sad song.
"Maria," daddy finally calls out to me.
"Yes, daddy, I'm here," I say, gripping his leg. He doesn't hear me though. He doesn't know I'm here at all.
"Can I see Maria again?" Mommy asks while daddy hands her the girl he was holding.
"That's not me!" I was mad now. "I'm right here, mommy! I'm okay! Why can't you guys see me?"
I looked to the other side of my mother and realized that our neighbors, Bill and Jennifer, were there with them. I ran over to them and pinched them to see if they could tell I was around. They didn't know either. Was this a joke? This wasn't funny at all. If I'm around, I want people to know it! Then there was a man who came out of nowhere.
"I see you, baby," he said.
"It's about time someone did! Who are you?"
"I'm your friend, Ernie Pantusso."
"Who?"
"You know, Coach. Your parents have a picture of me in the living room."
"Oh!" I could see him perfect now. I know exactly who he is and that makes me feel better.
"Come with me, honey," Coach says, taking my hand.
"Where are we gonna go?"
"A place where you won't have to grow up."
"You mean like in Peter Pan? You mean like Neverland?"
"Yeah, just like that."
"Nice! Can I bring my brothers and sister, too?"
"Uh, next time, my dear."
"Mommy and daddy?" I ask as he picks me up.
"They'll all come in there own good time. I'm going to take care of you for now."
"I'll miss them though."
"You can visit them whenever you want."
"If you say so."
That was the last thing I said before me and Coach walked into this big ball of light. It was so cool, it was like walking on the sun. There was a rainbow bridge where I walked with Coach and I saw all these animals. It was better than the zoo. I could run, I could swim, I could lay for a long time in the grass and have no fear; I was happy.
Then one time later I looked into the water where I would swim and I would see mommy and daddy at daddy's bar. Everyone was crying and there were pictures of me everywhere. It made me sad and confused again. Why were they where they were, being sad and I was here, being happy? I dove into the water and it seemed I was part of their world.
At first I was in the car with daddy. I told him to turn on the radio and listen to the music. I wanted to listen to the music. He must have heard me because he did it. He was even smiling for a while. Good daddy, that's what I wanted you to do. It wasn't long before we were back at my old house and I saw mommy.
"Go hug mommy, daddy," I tell him before he unbuckles his seatbelt. "Mommy needs a hug. She's been crying."
He did it again! They are listening to me! I love that they love each other. I hope they know how much I love them.
"C'mon, honey," I hear Coach calling me from the moon.
"I love you," I say to both of them before I leave. "Love each other."
