The Top Three Reasons you don't bully the Atlantis Science Staff
By: Tropicwhale
Warning: Spoilers for Season Three finale
Disclaimer: Oh I so do not own anything, I just wanted to have a little fun with no profit.
1) They all stick together and are really, really smart (otherwise they wouldn't be on Atlantis).
It was an innocent joke. Some newbie marine said that as hard as it was for him to get laid it must be impossible for the scienctists here on Atlantis. Too bad he said it in the mess hall. Two hours later, while he was showering all his clothes were beamed out of his room and an alarmed sounded. Clothed in only a towel the marine rushed to the Control Room where a shocked Dr. Weir and smug Dr. McKay stared at him.
"Lieutenant, what are you doing here?" Weir asked.
"Uh, I was in the shower when the alarm sounded."
"We're testing all the systems, including alarms, today. Surely you got the memo." She informed him.
"No, I didn't, ma'am." Military training kicked in and he saluted her, dropping his towel. Weir looked away and the science staff in the room cracked up. In the scramble for his towel the marine heard Dr. Zelanka state loudly.
"That is why you can't get date, much less laid."
"Not to mention most of the females on Atlantis are scientists. We like to keep to our own." McKay said just as Lt. Col. John Sheppard moseyed into the control room, looked around at the chaos, and said
"This is why you don't joke about the scientists here."
"Also?" McKay added, pointing upward and grinning. "Security feed." The marine transferred out on the DAEDULUS the next time it made a run to the Ancient city.
2) They have friends bigger then you (i.e. Ronan Dex).
In his defense Captain Posits didn't know how much Dr. Rodney McKay meant to his team or how much they were willing to do if someone hurt him. He missed that memo. What he did know was that Dr. Rodney McKay was arrogant, rude and pissed him off. He also knew of how citrus frightened the scientist. So when McKay butted in front of him in the mess, Capt. Joe Posits merely grabbed a glass of orange juice and ordered the scientist to move out of his way. McKay turned to glare, said "No", and got orange juice dumped all over his head. Rodney McKay ended up in the infirmary due to an intense allergic reaction. Later Captain Posits, on his way to his quarters, was cornered by Col. Sheppard, Ronan Dex, Telya Emmagan, and Lt. Laura Cadman. The long and short of it was that the Captain made sure to apologize to Dr. McKay next time he saw him and was ordered to have sparing sessions with Ronan and Teyla and was working some jacked-up details for the next two year stint on Atlantis. He also jumped every time he saw Cadman. He learned never to bully another scientist again.
3) They all eventually save your ass.
Atlantis was under attack by Replicators. They were all probably going to die. And then McKay came up with as solution. Later after the memorial services and the settling down, Segarent Relavous of the Apollo came up to Dr. Mako to apologize for calling her an egghead and making her cry two weeks ago."It's great to have you scientists around or we'd all be scrambled." He had said. Major Lorne overheard and added.
"Yup and we're all family here. Teasing is one thing, but you never bully an Atlantis scientist."
End
