Promotion Shock

By jade-em and tewweh

Promotion Shock was previously an RP over AIM, with tewweh being Kakashi, Ino and Shikamaru, and jade-em being Sakura, Sasuke and Neji. Other characters were freelance. Neji and Naruto were originally in the RP but they've been cut out. Rewritten from to story by jade-em.

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto ... obviously.


'Uuuuu-uuugh.'

The moan echoed through the corridor of the Ninja hospital. The doctors and nurses who heard it grimaced, and tried to ignore the sound.

'Uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh!'

Sasuke groaned louder as he trashed around on the bed. He had been three days in the hospital, and still hadn't fully recovered from his concussion at receiving the news that Naruto had been made a Chuunin. Forehead glistening with sweat, he clenched his fists and tried to be still, inhaling shakily.

Naruto, you bastard! Now I sound like a pregnant woman in here because of your promotion! He thought, feeling furious.

'OHMYGAWDSASUKE-KUN!!!'

Ino, after many minutes of kicking open random doors, had finally found Sasuke's room and slammed it open very loudly before latching herself to his waist.

'Are you sad? Does it hurt? Are you okay?'

A very bored Shikamaru who paused every now and then to watch a bug crawl by, who then emitted a loud yawn soon followed her.

Sasuke stopped in mid-groan as he stared at his visitors. He felt a twinge of annoyance. Who told them they could just bust in here?

'G - gaaah...' he spluttered, and then promptly fell off the bed. He hit the cold linoleum floor and lay there, panting. Naruto! This is all your damn fault! I'm gonna kill you!

'SASUKE-KUN!' Sakura burst into Sasuke's ward with a tense, worried expression, to see Sasuke panting on the floor. 'Sasuke-kun! Ooh, are you okay?'

It was then that the frantic girl noticed Ino and Shikamaru. She stopped dead.

'I - Ino...' she said in a quiet voice.

'Sa... Sakura?'

Ino's eyes widened and then narrowed into slits, glaring at her.

'What the fuck you doing here, forehead-girl?' she sneered, still clinging to Sasuke.

Shikamaru sighed as he leaned on a nearby surface.

That nearby surface happened to be hard.

The hard surface happened to be a shoulder.

That shoulder happened to belong to someone, but Shikamaru didn't bother to look up.

Too troublesome, he thought.

Then the shoulder moved.

Shikamaru fell.

Hard.

On his face.

Instant nosebleed.

Ow.

Hatake Kakashi stared down at Shikamaru with his arms folded. It was difficult to read his expression when only one eye was visible.

Ino was still giggling insanely due to the fact that SHE was hugging Sasuke and Sakura was NOT.

'Y - you guys,' Sasuke gasped. 'G ... get outta ... here ...'

He wriggled madly, trying to get Ino off him. His mind was having trouble concentrating on what was going on. Ugh ... too much pressure on his brain cells. They had to cope with all this while all they wanted to do was scream "Naruto's a Chuunin! That Bastard! Naruto's a Chuunin! That Bastard!"

And so his brain decided to process quickly like a computer.

"Data too much to handle. Illegal operation. Shut down."

Sasuke fainted.

Sakura was frozen as she stared down at Sasuke. 'S ... Sasuke-kun,' she said, voice trembling and muffled from her hands covering her mouth.

She lowered her hands as her whole body began to shake. 'H ... he's unconscious...'

There was a brief pause.

And then the pink-haired genin lost it.

'EMERGENCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!' she screamed out, at the top of her lungs.

'YEAH, GET IN HERE YOU DAMN NURSES!' Ino screamed along.

Shikamaru hid in a corner and pinned his palms tightly to his ears.

Kakashi looked down at them.

Then he sat on a stool and read Come Come Paradise, his perverty giggles audible over the screams.

At the cries of the two girls, a whole bunch of nurses immediately piled into the room, and ran around in confusion. When they finally realized what the emergency was, they all felt a little cross.

'Please do let him go, young lady...'

'He's unconscious ... he's been fainting a lot lately...'

'Heck, it's no big deal ...'

'He'll come back 'round in a few minutes...'

Sakura was oblivious to the nurses' comments as she collapsed on the ground, bawling her heart out. Tears sprung up from her eyes and leaked down her cheeks as she wailed as hard as she could. Her dear Sasuke-kun! What would become of him?

Ino noticed Sakura was crying.

She fumed.

She had to be better at Sakura at EVERYTHING.

Including hogging Sasuke.

Hmm, maybe he would like her more if she cried rivers instead of Sakura's PUNY LITTLE PUDDLES?

Sweet idea! And so she started crying.

As far as she knew, Sakura was the only girl who rivaled her in Lets-hog-sasuke-right-now-because-i-said-so.

Shikamaru was still hiding.

Kakashi's face was red as a beetroot as he flipped the page and pointed at the naughty pictures.

'WWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!' Sakura bawled noisily, her entire face now completely wet. She gave a little pause to sniffle and for the nurse's ears to take a few seconds tea break before starting to cry exactly like a one-year-old baby again.

Sasuke's head was pounding. It hurt. Terribly. For god's sake, turn the volume down! His eyes flew open to see a crying Ino. Startled, he recoiled.

And almost crashed into Sakura right behind him. Another one of her howls sent alarm bells going off in the poor boy's ears.

'Sh ... SHADDAP!' he yelled, his lungs feeling as if they were on fire.

Startled by the voice, Sakura stopped crying very abruptly. She stared at Sasuke. 'Sasuke-kun! Are you all right?!!'

Ino clamped her mouth shut and flung her arms around Sasuke's neck.

"Sasuke-kun! I was so worried!"

She stuck her tongue out at Sakura while Shikamaru crawled out of the corner, his face pale.

Kakashi shut his book very unwillingly and looked at the two girls sternly.

'I thought you would know better to scream in a hospital.'

I thought you would know better to interrupt a handsome man reading hentai.

'I thought you would know better to disturb sick patients.'

I thought you would know better to disturb a handsome man reading hentai.

'I thought you would know better than that. I'm very disappointed in you, Sakura.'

I thought you would know better than to interrupt a handsome man reading hentai. I'm very disappointed in you, for disturbing a handsome man reading hentai, Sakura.

Sakura's head whipped around to face Kakashi.

'...' She stared at her sensei disbelievingly for a few seconds as she processed his words with her mind. And then she began to boil. Hotter and hotter. Her face rapidly went through the shades of pink, deeper and deeper.

She was pretty quick to erupt. 'WELL, AT LEAST I SHOWED SOME EMOTION! LOOK AT YOU, LAUGHING AT THAT PATHETIC PORN WHILE YOUR STUDENT HAS FAINTED!' she screamed.

'Gah!' Sasuke gasped, his ears ringing. 'Will you shuddahellupI'mgeddinaheadache...'

The last few words came out garbled as his conciousness threatened to slip away again.

Kakashi winced.

Shikamaru ducked.

Ino hugged Sasuke in various places while Sakura was throwing a tantrum.


First chapter up :) Please comment.