"Hey, Victoria. Whatcha doin'?" asked Mr. Mistoffelees as he and The Rum Tum Tugger sauntered into the clearing. His sister was sitting at a wooden desk that was covered in papers, blushing profusely. "Oh, nothing," she replied. "I'm just writing fanfiction."
"That's awesome!" her brother exclaimed. "Can I read some?"
Victoria's cheeks turned an ever deeper shade of red. "Um, sure," she squeaked, "but I should warn you; there's slash."
Mistoffelees and Tugger's eyes grew wide. They gasped. Misto grabbed some of his sister's papers and threw them into the air. "Oh, no!" he cried, "Slash in the CATS fandom! Whatever shall we do?"
"Burn the witch! Burn the witch!" came the chant from the Jellicles.
"Nah, seriously, Victoria," Misto said. "You don't see Mungojerrie all up in his descriptions like 'Warning: Het.'"
"But that's different," Victoria protested.
"How?" Tugger asked. "Either way, it's just two cats loving each other."
"Or engaged in an angsty, lustful, love/hate relationship," added Misto.
"But what if people who don't like slash read my fanfiction and get offended?" the young white queen inquired, at which point Mungojerrie the Het Author appeared behind her in a burst of monochromatic glitter, because rainbow would be too slashy.
"Who cares!" he cheerfully explained, brushing monochromatic glitter out of his fur. "That's their problem, not yours."
"You see, Vicky," Misto went on to explain, "if you want to announce your slash fanfiction to Heaviside, go for it! But you don't have to, because, you see, no matter how many assholes out there get offended by your glorious slashiness, we will always love you."
"He's right," Jerrie agreed. Then, Tugger chimed in.
"Embrace your glorious slashiness."
"Speaking of," Misto began, taking Tugger's arm. "We were just passing through. We're needed for an awesome slash fanfiction."
As the two walked away, Victoria turned to Mungojerrie. "What about you, Jerrie?"
Jerrie shrugged. "I kind of like being a het author in a sea of slashy goodness. Hey, do you wanna grab some lunch?"
Victoria looked surprised. "Me?" she asked. "But...you're a het author. You don't mind that I'm a slash author?"
"Of course not!" Jerrie laughed, taking her paw in his. "I love your slash fanfiction." And the two walked away to find lunch in the sea of slashy goodness.
So that was ridiculous, huh? I couldn't resist. Something about reading "Warning: Slash" so many times got me feeling all goofy. The point is, I don't know y'all, but I hate hearing that people have been rude over your slash fanfiction. I've read most of it, and I must say, it's absolutely brilliant! This site is full of very gifted writers. Don't let the pollicles get you down.
We Jellicles gotta stick together! ;)
Love, WFMM
Oh gosh, wait, my initials sound like a radio station. Let me fix that. Um...how about "Waiting?" It's mysterious and dorky - just my style!
This one (obviously) goes out to the slash authors.
Love, Waiting
