Life after Death
By Jenevieve
Summary: short little Wes/Fred ficlette. Wesley dies trying to help Angel take down the Black Thorn and ultimately Wolfram & Hart, but death is not the end for him.
Rating: PG for death-related topics and a little fluffy romantic sap
Disclaimer: I sadly do not own any of the characters. They are all the wonderful creations from the wacky mind of Joss Whedon, and I am only taking advantage of my love of the show to play with them for a little while.
Spoilers: Takes place after Wesley's death in the Angel series finale, "Not Fade Away", but deals with relationships that had been developing through out the last season of Angel.
A/N: Opening lyrics are to the Collective Soul song Reunion. Lines in italics are taken directly from the "Not Fade Away" transcript of the episode.
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Now my curtain has been drawn
And my heart can go
Where my heart does belong
I'm going home
"I love you, my love. Oh, my love."
He could hear the sorrow in her voice, feel her tears wet upon his face but still he could not will his eyes to open. It was alright, after all. The pain had stopped and a pleasant stillness was spreading across his chest, warm and inviting. Still the sound of her grieving kept him there, longing to reach out and touch her face, her lips, her hair. No matter what being inhabited her body he knew that the pain he could hear in her voice was really her, his Fred.
He could feel her hands trembling as they touched his skin so gently, tentatively as if afraid he would break in their grasp. The rest of the world was fading away fast but still her touches, her words were crystal clear. Slowly she was becoming his everything as he had always meant her to be. Nothing matter anymore but her.
He tried one last time to force his eyelids to move, to look upon her face one more time but it was all in vain. His strength was gone, his will was gone, and now all he could do was lay there and listen. The light behind his eyelids began to fade and he felt himself slipping deeper and deeper beneath the plain of the floor, wrapped up in warmth he had never known. He was not afraid. Somehow it all felt right, yet still he heard her grieving. Her sobs were far away from him now and he wanted so badly to reach out and wrap his arms around her, to comfort her and never let her go, but he was trapped in his slumbering body and could only listen and wait. Soon even her tears would fade into the darkness.
Suddenly it happened. Her voice was gone and with it the warmth that he had so welcomed. A cold blackness stretched before him without end, to deep and thick for his eyes to penetrate. The icy void began to fill him, seeping in from all sides, and he struggled frantically to fight it off, refusing to give in, to admit defeat. For the first time he felt fear, deep and unending. He longed for her tears again, he longed for her smile, but all he could hear was her fading words, "Oh, my love!" which were sucked away from him all to fast bythe relentless darkness.
"Wesley."
A voice soft and soothing called to him through the abyss. He squinted into the blackness but still he could see nothing. Slowly, ever so gently, a light began to appear before him. It was small at first, not bigger than the tip of his thumb, but it began to grow, spiraling outward, reaching towards him. At first he watched it, relieved to see something other than the cold nothingness that surrounded him, but as it grew in size it also grew in intensity, and soon he found himself shielding his eyes in pain.
"Wesley," the voice called again, louder this time, moving towards him.
Again he tried to look into the light but could see nothing. "Who's there?" he called into it.
There was the sound of laughter, sweet and innocent. "My silly Wesley," the voice seemed to dance all around him, growing closer as the light did. He shielded his eyes again and turned away.
"Don't be afraid, Wesley," the voice was very close now and his head felt like it would explode from pain as the light engulfed him. He screamed.
As sudden as it had appeared the light vanished. Tentatively he opened his eyes and blinked slowly; the pain was gone. He stood on a trail in the middle of a forest, lush and green with trees and flowers. Blinking in the soft light of an early afternoon sun, he paused, slowly taking in his surroundings. The trees towered around him, their deep auburn trunks in sharp contrast to the soft vibrant greens of their bows. Bright yellow and orange wild flowers grew in thick patches among soft golden reeds and speckled mushrooms. A breeze, mild and sweet, tussled his hair and carried the soft sound of running water splashing down a waterfall somewhere off in the distance. It was as if he had stepped into the pages of some timeless myth or fable. It was beyond surreal. Finally, unsure of what else to do, he began to pick his way along the trail, not knowing where he was headed but being left with no other choice then to move forward. The sweet melody of birds singing in the trees around him helped to chase away the lingering hesitations that punctuated each of his steps, while the sun caressed his skin with warm kisses.
After several minutes of walking the forest opened into an expansive meadow covered in soft white snow and speckled with small purple and red flowers, poking their heads up through the white fluff. As he moved forward into the snow, taking in the beauty around, he heard laughter behind him, the same laughter from before. Spinning around he saw her standing there before him dressed in a long white gown like some kind of Greek goddess. For a moment he thought he was dreaming, but as he stared down into her eyes, eyes he knew so well, he realized it was really her and not just her body staring back at him.
"I told you not to be afraid," she beamed up at him with the same happy-go-lucky attitude she had always had in life, her head tilted slightly to the side.
"Fred," he breathed, every part of him drowning in her beautiful eyes. He wanted more than anything to take her in his arms, to kiss her, to tell her everything that he had ever keep away in the recesses of his heart but his body would not move. If he touched her would she vanish?
"It's over now, Wesley," Fred moved a few steps towards him. "You're free, we both are. Our parts in this story are done and we can finally rest at last, together."
She was so close, so near. He swallowed hard unsure of what to do or what to say. He had been waiting for this moment since she left him, since Illyria had taken her from him, yet now that it was here he felt like an adolescent, confused and nervous.
He suddenly recalled with painful clarity the days and months and years he had secretly pined for her, loved her from afar, and how when he finally had had that love returned it had been stripped away all to fast by a callous unfeeling world. His mind swam with memories of the last hours they had spent together, her body cradled in his arms. He remembered reading to her, his eyes straying with each finished line to look at her face, his hands constantly caressing, touching, trying to will his own breath, his own life into her dying body. He remembered how she had begged to stay, to stay with him. How she asked him if he would have ever loved her, and how his heart had broken with each painful spasm that gripped her body. He felt emotions raw and choking bubble up from deep inside and the force of it slammed into him. He gasped, swaying slightly, tears blurring her face. Swallowing hard he fought to regain his composure, blinking back the pain and confusion. "Together?" he whispered.
A secret smile played across her lips as she stepped forward again, her body only inches from his own. Reaching out she took his hands in hers; her hands were soft and warm, Fred's hands. With the same curious smile she raised his hands up and pressed them against his stomach. "See no more blood."
He stared into her eyes for a few more seconds before glancing down at his stomach. His brows furrowed as he saw she was right. Releasing her hands he ran his own over the spot where Vail had stabbed him, but there was nothing, not even a scar. "But how..." he began.
She lifted a hand over his lips and stared into his eyes. In that moment he understood, and a genuine smile crossed his lips. "We're really free?" he whispered against her finger tips.
She nodded.
"I missed you, Fred," he whispered, punctuating his words by pressing his lips against her fingers.
She giggled and stepped forward, wrapping her arms around his neck. He pulled her tightly to him, lifting her slightly off the ground and burying his face in her hair. He inhaled deeply. She smelled the same as she had in life, the same intoxicating mix of vanilla and jasmine that he had been longing for so long now.
"I've missed you too," she whispered against his chest as he lowered her back to the ground, "but now we'll never have to be apart."
They clung to each other for what seemed like an eternity, neither wanting to let go of the other; her head resting against his chest, his head resting against the top of hers. Tears of happiness started to run down her checks vanishing among the folds of his shirt. It felt right, all of it felt so right as if nothing else in time and space was meant to be more than the two them standing there just holding one another. It had taken them both a lifetime to get here and neither was in a rush to go anywhere else.
A bubble of laughter broke her lips in a soft happy sob and she rubbed her cheek against his chest basking in the warmth of his arms. Suddenly she felt him step back slightly from her embrace. Looking up she saw tears of joy shimmering in his own eyes. He cupped the sides of her face in his hands and leaning down he kissed her tears away one by one. She closed her eyes and smiled, reveling in the tender touch of his fingertips and lips against her skin.
"I love you," he breathed against her cheek, a tear running down his own. "I always have, Fred, always." It felt so good to say the words aloud to her, like some great weight had been lifted from his chest, the last chains of mortality.
"I love you too, Wesley," she whispered, bestowing on him one of those radiant smiles that in life always made his legs weak. Leaning down his lips sought out hers and he kissed her long, deep, and passionately, their arms wrapped tightly around one another. At long last she was his world and he was hers, and as their kissed deepened they melted into one; their love transcending the frigid bonds of death and delivering them to life eternal together.
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Fin
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©2004
Ok, that's it. Hope you enjoyed it. Please feel free to leave feedback (only way I'll get better) at divine. (just put some note in the title so I won't mistake it for Spam ).
Special thanks to Angela and Candice for being my wonderful betas yet again!
