Chapter 1: Dying Love

July 7, 1927

Drifting through homes, countryside's and mountaintops an epidemic of Pulmonary Tuberculosis swept through London, England. Confined to her bed, a twenty-two year old Natalie Alexander lay dying from this terrible disease.

Rain beat down on the lovely stone home as a storm raged in the distance. Death lingered in the master bedroom of Notley Abbey. Knowing that her life would soon end, Natalie called for her five-year-old daughter.

"Vivien Rose." Her voice remained strained and weak from the horrific disease. Clearing her throat she held out her hand to the small child.

"Mummy, please don't go. Please!" Vivien begged as tears swam in her cobalt blue eyes as she moved slowly to the bed. Her mother would get well. She must! The room was thick with sadness as one single candle flickered in the still room that smelled of death.

"My little girl, my precious little girl," Natalie said with a weak voice. "You mustn't cry." With each passing hour, she was losing her strength and it was becoming harder to breath. Heaving a cough Natalie held her silk blue-bordered handkerchief to her mouth, only to pull it away moments later to reveal blood upon the dainty fabric. Shutting her eyes, she pushed the bloody object from her sight. She was dying at twenty-two. Life was not supposed to be this way. She was supposed to be a young, healthy mother. Not a fragile, pale woman needing constant care from her loving husband. A woman in pain around the clock.

"This is all my fault." Vivien cried as her lower lip quivered. She had killed her own mother.

"Oh no darling. You have done no such thing." Gazing into her daughter's eyes, Natalie saw that Vivien truly thought she had caused her own illness. "Can you manage a smile for your mother?"

Pulling her small pink lips up into a smile, Vivien tried to hold back her anguish, but it was no use. The pain and suffering won over the request her mother had made. "Mummy, I'm so sorry, but I can't." Vivien sobbed as she gave into hopelessness "Can-can you forgive me?"

"Of course I do sweetheart."

"Oh mummy." Vivien clung to the only woman who would ever love her. The only woman who could vanquish her bad dreams or kiss away an injury. "I love you, Mummy." Her knees gave way and she collapsed to the bed.

"I love you to the moon and back." Natalie's weak whispery voice came. Death wrapped its arms around Natalie as fluid began to overtake her lungs. Tears filled her sick, sunken eyes. This would be the very last time she would see her husband or daughter. While the tears trickled down her cheeks, it dawned on Natalie that she would never see her daughter grow up. She would miss so much in Vivien's life. Swallowing the blood that filled her mouth, she took the glass of water Richard, her husband, quickly handed her. Taking a drink, the blood went down. However, within a few seconds the vile iron tasting substance came back up and into the cup. Coughing Natalie removed the glass and placed it on her nightstand.

Vivien glanced over at the now bloody glass and its bloody substance. Whatever this illness was, it was killing her mother and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

"My mother once told me a secret that I wish to tell you: Be kind and be yourself. For this will see you through the many hardships of life. Never let anyone say you, can't do something because you can do anything you set your mind to." Natalie's eyes drifted towards her husband's holding fright, dread and uncertainty within them. "Vivien, darling, I need to speak to your father alone for a few moments."

Vivien looked at her ill mother. Tears had already worked their way down her face and onto her clothing. Vivien shook her head. "No, Mummy, I won't leave you. I can't leave you."

Natalie wiped away her daughters many tears with the back of her cold hand. "Only for a few moments." Natalie could see the fear in her daughter's eyes as her future flashed before her.

Vivien looked at her father with anxiety. She did not see her strong, carefree, and loving father; in his place stood a walking corps who had not slept for days. Even though Richard tried to hide this from his princess, it simply did not fool her.

"Upon the sitting room coffee table there is a crystal vase filled with red roses. Would you be a darling and bring them to me? So I may look upon them?"

Vivien nodded and departed.

Natalie looked at her love.

Richard stood at the end of the bed with a breaking heavy heart.

"Upon the vanity there is the locket you gave me the day you asked me to marry you. I want you to give it to Vivien when she's older." Inhaling a breath, she began coughing as she had been for the last three weeks.

Walking somberly over to the vanity, Richard reached out with this right hand and picked up the silver locket. Guiding his thumb along the lovely rose design, a flashback darted across his mind.

They were so young when he had given this to her. She was sixteen while he had just turned twenty. Yes, that was a young age to get married, but they loved each other dearly. Their love burned so brightly that nothing could tear them apart…until now. Death was pulling Natalie away and there was nothing Richard could do except strive to give their daughter a happy and healthy life.

Richard stared into space as he thought back on the very day he had given the necklace to Natalie. All those years ago….

Walking in St. James Park the two young lovers meandered around the beautiful park. It was a beautiful autumn day. The leaves had fallen from the trees and lay in the walkways; where children played in them.

They had been there for a few hours now. Feeling that the time was drawing near, Richard knew he had to ask. Taking Natalie's hand, he led her over in front of Buckingham Palace.

"Natalie, I feel like I have known you my whole life, but in all reality it's only been a short time. I know that you are the one for me. I've done nothing except think about you. You are funny, loving, and outgoing. I don't know what I would do if you were not in my life." Getting down on one knee. He held out the locket. Holding her hands to her mouth, Natalie stood speechless. "Natalie, I love you so much and I want you as my wife. Will you marry me?" There, hanging from the silver heart shaped locket, was the silver diamond band specially made for the love of his life.

Taking her hand away from her mouth Natalie said the right word. "Yes." Throwing her arms around him, he spun her around with happiness. Laughing with merriment they knew their lives were about to change forever. As he slipped the ring around her finger and the necklace around her neck they, were now going to be one.

Putting the locket in his pocket, he went back to his ailing wife. Natalie was too young to die of this horrible disease. Why did such a thing have to happen? Weren't young people supposed to grow old with one another? Weren't they supposed to live happily forever and ever? Richard and Natalie's fate had changed for the worst, quicker than they ever expected.

Picking up her cold, white hand, she spoke. "Though I will be gone please remember this of me. I have loved you always and I have enjoyed our life together." Natalie acknowledged between shallow breaths. Looking into his eyes, she saw love, compassion, trust and so much more. In Natalie's eyes she would always love him. Even in death, her love for him would carry on as if she had never passed. Swallowing the blood again, she spoke "Raise our daughter well. Remind her even though I am gone I shall always be with her."

Richard nodded "I will always love you." His hand rubbed up and down her cold cheek. Looking into her eyes Richard saw the love he had seen for the past seven years. Lowering his lips down to hers, they shared one final kiss. As the kiss broke Natalie's eyes shut as she laid her head back onto the pillow.

Vivien ran back into the room with the vase in hand. "Mummy here are the roses." Her breath came quickly. She had done just as her mother asked. Looking in her mother's direction Vivien expected to see her loving, breathing mother, but alas she did not. Instead, she saw her mother had succumbed to her illness. Slipping through her slender fingers, the clear cut vase fell to the floor, smashing into a hundred little pieces. Rushing over to her dearly departed mother, Vivien clung to her as she prayed for her to come back. "Mummy, please come back. Please!"

Mrs. Lincoln, Vivien's Catholic nanny came in to usher the poor girl away as a doctor came in to pronounce Natalie dead. "Come now it is time to go."

"Leave me alone."

While Mrs. Lincoln took care of a crying Vivien, Richard sat in his study. With his head buried within his big hands, he got lost within his own mind. What was he going to do now? He was only twenty-six. How was he going to raise Vivien all by himself? Rising from his large chair, Richard fixed himself a stiff drink. Glancing into the big roaring fire he quickly downed it and threw the glass into the flames. The fire grew as the glass hit the blistering heat. Richard turned from the warm glow and shut his eyes for several moments. How he wished this was all a dream. A nightmare he would wake up from find his wife sleeping next to him, and hear Vivien running down the hall rushing into their room as the English morning sun shined through the Midland lace curtains. Walking over to the door, he started planning the funeral. He would think about the other matters later.

Heading out of the room, he shuffled down the hall lit by the sun seeping through the lovely cream-colored curtains that Natalie had picked out the day they had arrived. Looking left and right, Richard could see so much of her within the big estate. Her simple touch here, her elegant taste there, everywhere. Natalie was everywhere!

Falling to his knees, Richard began to weep. Putting his left hand to his eyes while the other beat the ground, he couldn't bear to look at the different reminders of his wife. Natalie meant so much to him and to Vivien. Even though she was too young to know her mother, once Vivien got older she would ask questions about her. Even though she was five, Vivien would still ask questions. What would he tell her? How much they loved each other? How much Natalie loved her? How much Natalie wanted the three of them to be a family? What else was there to be said? That her mother died of that awful illness and the doctors or he, could do, nothing? Except watch as death pulled her away forever?

Still weeping over the loss of his beautiful wife, Richard remained there as he listened to the nanny calming his five-year-old daughter.