Gosh I just found this one-shot lurking in my files. I didn't even run a spell check and I was slightly tipsy when I wrote this so please don't laugh at my illiteracy. This is a vent story to make me feel better because "I am a massive fucking wuss who couldn't ask someone out if my life depended on it", according to drunken me.

P/S if none of you get the pun in the title I will cry.

"Lovino took a swig from his beer. It was horrible; whoever had let the Germans buy the booze was an idiot. It was well known that if a drink wasn't strong enough to strip paint then neither Ludwig nor Gilbert would go near it. Never the less Lovino drank it, if only to distract himself from Antonio who was dancing rather... erotically with Francis in the middle of the floor. They were basically having sex, but forgot to take their clothes off.

So far the angry Italian had managed to keep his eyes on the Spaniard by aggressively cutting off anyone who tried to start a conversation with him or offer him a drink. It wasn't that it was exactly hard for Lovino anyway; everyone knew him as temperamental, and Antonio was by far the most stunningly captivating thing in the room.
If he hadn't been so focused on the rather gorgeous Spaniard, Lovino could probably have had a pretty good time, but it wasn't Antonio's fault that Lovino wasn't able to properly enjoy the stupid New Years' party. '

The bastard doesn't even know I like him', Lovi tried to tell himself as he felt a particularly strong wave of jealousy and misery wash over him. Fortunately for everyone at the party, the small Italian was not yet drunk enough to either break down or grow a pair and dramatically ask Toni to make sweet, sweet love to him. It was a bit sad, but those were the only two options for a properly shit-faced Lovino. It was extremely sad actually. Lovino was so self conscious, so unsure of himself that the only way he could tell someone he loved them was after copious amounts of alcohol. The fear of rejection was so strong in him that he never went out on a limb, he never let himself get into a position where someone could hurt him emotionally. He had been in plenty of fights, and could take any physical beating dished out to him. He acted all tough and sarcastic, he put up this façade of a resilient little smart ass when in fact he was the most sensitive, easily hurt, loving, easily invested, self conscious little idiot the world had ever seen.

Lovino wanted nothing more than to be loved.

The night dragged on and Lovino downed more drinks than he could count. He had grown numb to the disgusting taste of the beer after his fifth can and had a pile of his empties on the floor next to him.

The edges of his vision had lost some of their sharpness and his head felt heavy- so, so heavy. He had started drinking with Gilbert at one stage when he couldn't bear the sight of Antonio grinding on Francis' crotch for one more moment. For a while- Lovino didn't know how long- he was blissfully unaware of Toni.

That changed when, after about an hour, he caught sight of Toni again and the breath was knocked from his lungs. He was sitting at the bar, his jacket had been discarded and his top few shirt buttons were undone. A slight sheen of sweat decorated the Spaniard's brow. Lovino smiled as he saw the man he loved laugh at something the bartender said before gratefully taking the offered can.
Unfortunately, Lovino was now drunk enough that his subconscious was the captain of the ship, so to speak. Lovi's subconscious was a simple thing; it liked Antonio, it wanted to have sex with Antonio, it was going to go ask Antonio to dance.

Lovino pushed off from his slump against the wall and walked- swaying slightly- over to where Toni's hot ass was sitting.

Just as he was about to sit down next to him Antonio looked up and smiled at him

"Hey Lovino! I've been wanting to talk to you all night, where were you?"

"Drowning in self loathing in the far corner," Lovino quipped in the usual sarcastic tone he employed. Antonio chuckled lowly, obviously thinking it was a joke.

"I want to ask you something."
"Well what is it?"
"I wanted to, ah, well, that is... you see Lovi I- I was wondering if... maybe... err..." Antonio trailed off, but Lovino remained silent, waiting for the man to spit whatever it was out.
"You know what, this isn't working," Antonio said, mostly to himself. "I'll think I'll just go for it. Yeah, yeah I'm going to go for it."

With that he pulled Lovino's face closer to his and melded their lips together. The Italian's eyes went wide in a mixture of surprise and fear. What if Antonio was playing him? Toni could never actually like him like that, right? Yeah, Antonio's just playing a trick, it's just a little game- Lovino couldn't stop the little moan that left his lips as Antonio moved to suddenly turn his attention to the soft skin where Lovi's jaw met his neck.
"I really like you Lovino Vargas" the Spaniard whispers into his ear, making the Italian blush bright red.
"W-what?"
"I love you."

Lovino's drink clouded brain simply didn't have the capacity to understand what the actual fuck was going on. Overwhelmed tears spilled from his eyes. He was quick to wipe them away, but more came and he was sure he must have looked a royal mess. Toni handed him a tissue and helped him to the bathroom, away from the prying eyes of nosy relatives.

The pair talked. And talked and talked and talked. They wouldn't remember half of it in the morning, but they would remember the important bits: they loved each other, they both had for a long time, and they were going to give a relationship a try. They would also most certainly remember that that conversation led to Lovino's mouth being thoroughly ravished as he was pressed against the bathroom wall with his hands above his head.

They eventually rejoined the party. They spent the rest of the evening cuddled on the couch with a can of sprite each. They kissed and snuggled and spoke, until they fell asleep with their legs and arms entwined.
Lovino woke up some time in the early hours of the morning as someone carried him up to his hotel room. He just about managed to get comfortable under the sheets before sleep claimed him again.
He slept soundly, but woke to the reality that even his drunken bravery was just a dream.

A/N so you can see how shit faced I'm leaving the original A/N I wrote for this below.

Original A/N: hahahahaahahahaha i am fucking trash. Shoot me i'm going to check this again some time next week and if it's completely shit ima just delete it but for now i'm just gonna feel sorry for myself because i'm such cowardly piece of shit jesus fucking christ. If anyone would be kind enough to idk edit it or some shit so i can repost it i would be eternally grateful becuse my drunk ass isn't entirely functional rn. thanks for reading and putting up with my bitching /general shit

Happy New Year, love Ro.