Author's Note: Captain Jack Harkness, the sexy Ianto Jones, and all other characters belong to Mr. Russel T. Davies. If they belonged to me, there would be a lot more shagging and a lot less...well, you know what happened. Enjoy!


"Stop it!"

"Jack, stop!"

"Jack Harkness, if you don't stop getting flour on me, this spoon is going to become quite well acquainted with your arse."

"Is that a promise?" Jack Harkness grinned at the young Welshman whose kitchen he was currently destroying. Boy, did he love riling him up!

Ianto Jones rolled his eyes, but Jack saw them darken slightly as the younger man considered the implications of his comment. Jack leant in towards his ear, and purred "Do you like the idea of being in charge, Mr. Jones?"

It took a few seconds for Ianto's eyes to focus again, but he snapped out of it as he remembered the task at hand. "Jack, Gwen's birthday is tomorrow. I've already had to delay making these cupcakes once today because of that bloody Weevil. I need to get this done!"

Jack pouted, but pecked Ianto on the lips. "That's not what I meant about being assertive," he grumbled. Ianto smirked, but was too absorbed in the recipe to comment.

"Alright, now that all of the dry ingredients have been mixed, we move on to the wet ones..." Ianto bent down and started shifting things around in the refrigerator. "I'd have had everything set out already if you hadn't insisted on getting that sodding coat covered in blood again; the dry-cleaners is halfway across-AH!" Ianto yelped as Jack's hand came in contact with his pants. "I almost spilt the milk, Jack!"

"It's not my fault! You're bum was raised in the air, just waiting to be smacked! If you weren't so damn irresistible..."

Ianto rolled his eyes as he pushed past Jack, but the Captain detected a faint blush splashed across his neck. Jack smiled at the thought that he put it there. The young man really didn't get enough credit, for any of his assets, not just his ass.

He was jerked out of his reverie by Ianto's hand waving in front of his face. "Earth to Jack. Do you ever pay attention?"

"What?" he mumbled, a bit disoriented.

Ianto raised an eyebrow and chuckled. "I asked if you could get me two eggs? The carton's in the door."

"Oh, of course." Jack retrieved the eggs, then brought them to Ianto, looking excited.

"Oh no, you are NOT cracking the eggs, Jack. I already had to clean up the coffee beans you spilt all over the floor. It's your fault that you're falling asleep standing up," he scolded.

Jack's lower lip twitched and his eyes widened. His puppy-dog face didn't hold a finger to Gwen's, but Ianto still had trouble resisting it at the best of times. And, right now, a large part of Ianto's brain was occupied with thoughts of how much he wanted to drop everything and get Jack onto the bedroom. Ruddy pheromones. "Fine, Jack. One egg! But, if you screw up, you don't get to help me mix."

All signs of sadness fell from Jack's face as he snatched an egg off of the counter. Ianto had to remind himself that he was the young one in this...whatever this was. (Relationship? Partnership?) The older man could act like such a child.

Jack's tongue poked out of the side of his mouth as he concentrated on not ruining his chances. He swiftly brought the egg down against the side of the bowl, and the egg yolk slid into the mixture, amazingly free of pieces of shell.

Ianto tried not to look too impressed as he grabbed the remaining egg and brought it down against the bowl. Unfortunately for him, it was at that exact moment that Jack decided that Ianto's neck needed attention. Specifically from his tongue. Ianto's hand slipped, which resulted in his palm, fingers, and right shoe being covered in egg.

"Damnit, Jack! Look what you've done!" But Jack was too busy laughing his balls off to look guilty. "What's so funny?"

"You mean to tell me that you don't see the irony in the situation? That I bested you in the art of egg cracking? C'mon, Ianto. You have to admit that it's at least a tiny bit funny."

Ianto's frown was a bit less effective because of the twitching that his lips insisted upon, and the searing vehemence of his glare was betrayed by a twinkle in his eyes. Ok, it was a bit funny.

He washed his hands and toed off his shoes. After he added the rest of the ingredients, he passed the bowl to Jack, who mixed it without incident. Ianto lightly applauded his success, which made both of them burst out laughing. Ianto poured the batter into the tin, and stuck it into the oven.

"You know, Jack. We have a half hour to ourselves while these bake...Would you like to try an experiment?"

Jack, who was busy licking the spoon, raised his eyebrows in consideration, and grinned at the young Welshman. "Why, Ianto Jones! If I didn't know you better, I'd have assumed that you planned this all along."

Ianto smirked. "You know me, always one step ahead."

Ianto expected Jack to leap at the opportunity, but he was surprised by the sensation of gooey cake batter on his ear, followed by Jack's tongue doing its best to clean it off.

"Jack, you do know that's raw egg, right?" Ianto panted. "That can't be sanitar-"

Not wanting to waste anymore time, Jack crushed his lips against Ianto's, effectively cutting him off. Ianto grabbed his stopwatch off of the bookshelf and set it for 30 minutes before they rushed into the bedroom, shedding clothes in their wake. Ianto's last coherent thought was that he didn't really mind cooking with Captain Jack Harkness.


Author's Note Part II: Any reviewers will receive an amazingly delicious cupcake, accompanied by a steaming mug of freshly brewed coffee. All made by Ianto of course. Jack wasn't allowed to help.