Nathan Stark was a boob.
Well, that's what Giles said. Xander didn't think Stark looked like female anatomy or a bird, so he just chalked it up as a Brit thing. Personally, he thought Stark was dashing-but-subtly-evil-in-wanting-world-domination with a side of too-smart-for-survival-instincts. Long description but it was needed when a Nobel Prize winner was too stupid to figure out he was sitting on a physical cross-dimensional port, or to even figure out that radioactive-proof walls couldn't contain magic. Really.
The Artefact was a ticking Hellmouth bomb. Not the smaller, shinier, slicked up, tiny h type but the full-blown capital with at least a couple centuries of energy ready to explode out of the tiny leaks. Of course, it was more fun to say "glowing, splodey thing" just to make that tiny nerve under Stark's eye twitch.
That and Fargo REALLY needed training. Twitchy and warlock was not all that great of a combo. That and he kept giving Xander and the Slayers those weird-ass stares, and Xander didn't even want to start on the disturbing action figure of him. But there was a time or two when Fargo would just randomly say,
"Thank you PTB for making me Mary Sue."
...
Xander coughed and waved some of the Gl'ornak intestinal gas away from his breathing space. He heard retching in the corner he had dragged scientists to earlier and hefted his axe. And waited but the Gl'ornak didn't move. Xander decapitated it and then chopped through ear to ear for good measure. There was a squealing sound while the body went through death throes. Amel followed suit and raised a questioning eyebrow.
"Is that supposed to happen?" Xander shrugged.
"They can reattach the head if you decapitate unless the frontal and occipital lobe are disconnected."
There was another squealing sound, metallic as the door for lock down was pried open. Sheriff Carter's head poked through.
"Harr – God! What's that smell?" Xander pulled out a rag to clean his axe.
"Gl'ornak gut gas." Then the big honcho himself stalked in with a three thousand dollar suit, Xander squinted, practice with Dawn indicated Armani. Allison Blake trailing with a handkerchief over her nose and mouth.
"Ugh, get the cleaning crews and biologists in here! Harris, why do I always find you underfoot?" Xander batted his eyes.
"Nathey, I'm hurt! Why do you continue to invalidate my feelings for you?" Jack pointed.
"Okay, too many sessions with Beverly."
