body (no idea why this is here!)

'It could have been worse', he thought, as he looked at his face before sighing. He was used to this now, after a few months. He had begun to learn how to cover the bruises or he learned how to lie better. Lying had never come easy to him but over the last three months it was second nature and he had noticed Raphael, Leonardo, Splinter, April, and even Casey believed his words. In a way he was proud of that, but in another, he was scared.

It had only started when Mikey came home late from one of his runs. Don had stayed awake after Leo, Raph, and Splinter went to bed. It had scared him when he walked passed Don's lab, a mistake he regretted every day, and Don had spotted him. In a blind rage, no sound made, Mikey found himself looking up into Don's narrowed eyes. He wasn't sure what had caused it, if it was maybe him coming home late, or not going in and kissing Don good night. It wasn't known to the others that Mikey and Don were in a relationship, they kept it hidden because they were brothers and they weren't sure how their brothers would react to learning of what they were doing behind closed doors.

It was right then, looking up into Don's eyes, that Mikey felt something other than affection and lust towards Donatello, it was fear. He had never seen Donatello act like this since he had always been so passive and never dealt with his problems through violence. Mikey, at the time, just thought it was Don having not slept in days or having maybe been worried out of his mind. He had blamed it on that, because in the last few days alone, the quartet had been ambushed by Dragons, Bishop's men, and Foot ninja.

"Don..." Mikey looked up into the mirror again before he thought of the perfect way of hiding what his lover had done to him… again.

It wasn't fear that made Mikey stay with Donatello since he could never fear his brother who he had lived with for his whole life, trained with side by side, fought with in the heat of battle, and made love to like the world was ending right there and then.

Mikey couldn't help but smile as he remembered a few days ago when he had come home from running with Raphael. Don had smiled and waited for the night to wither to a black void before sneaking into Mikey's room and holding him, kissing him... Mikey didn't expect the tears down his face as he blinked, looking into the mirror. He smiled again before he grabbed his nunchucks and slowly began to twirl them in the small space of his crowded room, a bit cleaner today since most of his belongings he had gotten rid of the past week.

Don had said to... Don had picked out most of the things he thought were trash and tossed them in a black garbage bag... Mikey felt the tears growing before he began to increase the speed. He felt the first connection and didn't utter a sound. The second felt more painful... slowly the third, fourth, and fifth came before Mikey stopped panting and he looked around his room. The bruises would show quickly, he had always bruised easily and faster than his brothers. He shifted and turned out his light.

Taking a deep breath, Mikey took a step to the left, into a pile of his harder and more solid books and other assorted items. He knew this room, every object, every space, every inch... he closed his eyes as he felt his foot kick one of the solid foundations that held the massive pile up... He yelped as he scrunched his eyes feeling the objects hit him, burying him from head to toe. He could barely breathe as he heard a second crash... a third crash. He heard some glass objects and cursed, knowing they were pictures of his family, shatter near him. He continued to scrunch his eyes as the pressure on his carapace grew to the point it was unbearable.

"MIKEY!" It was Raphael's voice. He had figured his fighter of a brother would hear it first. He cracked a smile as he tried to struggle free. He still couldn't breathe right... did one of the blows from his nunchuck crack his carapace? "Oh god, LEO DON!" Mikey could hear Raphael tossing his things across the room -maybe out the door?- and he wanted to yell at his brother that he was mistreating his favorite objects.

Wasn't he doing that though? Using them as an excuse so Donatello wouldn't be accused of being an abusive mate? Would it really work though, continuing to hurt himself? Even as he thought this, his mind pushed and slithered a thought into the front of his mind. Did he even want this to continue?

"MIKEY!" Leo's voice, but where was Don's? Where was his mate's voice crying out for his lover? Where was Don's response to seeing him buried alive in a mountain of his own beloved objects? "Don, you look over there by his bed, Raph, by those books." He heard them all moving... but his head was starting to become fuzzy.

"Mikey! Come on bro, talk to us!" Raph sounded hysterical as the sound of shifting and thrown objects became louder near where he had fallen.

"Raph..." his voice sounded weak and he knew he was crying again as he kept his eyes tightly shut.

Raphael and the others stopped when he had spoken, but they didn't seem to move. At first Mikey was confused about this. His thoughts wandered to Don pulling him out of the rubble and holding him tight, whispering words... such loving words... Mikey cried out a bit at that before he felt something warm trail down his neck. His body froze as he opened his eyes. He saw light. His eyes slowly adjusted as he spotted Raph, eyes wide, before Leo's face came next.

"Mikey..." Leo looked relieved for a bit before both Leo and Raph began to shift the rubble and pull him out softly. "Oh god... Mikey." Mikey's mind slowly went blank as his eyes shifted over his room, he winced at the damage and how much he'd be picking up. Glass was everywhere, but there was no Donatello... there was no Donatello...

"Mikey!" Raph and Leo said together with a bit of fear. "Are you ... what happened?"

"I tripped..." Mikey stated without even thinking. His eyes were owlish as he looked at Raph and Leo. "I can't believe I trashed my room... this is crazy..." he wasn't thinking, wasn't feeling. His head hurt, his body was sore, but his heart was shattered worse than anything.

It was sudden, uncontrollable... he wasn't sure what caused it or why but he began to laugh... laugh... just laugh like he was going crazy. Like he wasn't nearing death, wasn't in a room with his brother, wasn't bothering to hide the mask... he laughed even as the hot burning tears cascaded down his face and his body began to go limp while his mind tried to shut down, push the pain away...

Where was Donnie? Where was his mate? Where... where did he go wrong?

His brothers were screaming his name now as his eyes closed, his mad laughing slowly dying to a chuckle... but he heard Don's voice saying "I got the first... oh god, no... Mikey..." before nothing really mattered but the sleep, rest, the lack of feeling...

He stared at his face, bandages, ice packs, and the bruises unable to be hidden. The mirror wasn't big enough to show the whole extent of damage that had been caused. He wasn't sure he wanted to see them. He gave a small sigh as he shifted in the bed to put the mirror away. He was now in the spare room, a bit farther from where he and his brothers picked their rooms, and he looked up into the air. The light was dim, only a small light in the room to begin with, and he felt his chest ache as he thought of how alone he was.

"Don?" he asked, when the door opened.

"Yeah, it's me." Don's voice was neutral, and a bad feeling crept into Mikey's heart, as he moved over to the bed. "What do you think you're doing, Mikey?" the voice was becoming a bit gruff. "Pulling a stunt like that, are you demanding my attention... or Raph's, maybe Leo's? Are you trying to... do something so low and get into bed with someone out of..." Don didn't finish as Mikey opened his mouth only to feel the punch.

"They're in the other room, Mikey, cleaning up your mess. I told them to just throw away all that crap. It's not even worth anything to anyone." Don's voice was cold as he leaned into Mikey's space. "I don't like it when you do this type of stuff Mikey."

Mikey shivered as he tried to back away before he felt Don shift onto the bed and on top of him. He knew what was coming he knew what would happen... he shivered at the feeling of Don's hands on his throat. His body was frozen, his eyes wide, and his heart beating like an indian drum. He wanted this hellish love of a nightmare to drown and fade away. Why did he have to fall in love with Donatello? Why couldn't he have seen one of his other two brothers in that light, that sexual want.

Don's beak met his before he felt his heart crumble and he knew he wasn't breathing at all as he gasped. Donatello didn't seem to even notice as he grinned wide... slowly growing wider...

There was only one thing Mikey could say he remembered the most out of that situation. When he thought Don didn't want him anymore and just was taking the final measures of getting rid of his nuisance... It was the flash of green on green, the howl of Don's voice as he was in pain, two angry shouts mixed with cursing... words spoken to him...

He couldn't really move, think really, as his head was turned to look at Leo. Leo looked like he had saw hell... saw something that he would never feel would be fixed... He was crying.

"Oh god." Leo's voice was breaking. "Mikey, oh god..." Mikey felt something eating him as he found the strength to look around and he spotted Don staring, stunned, angry, at Raphael who's beak was pulled far back, showing his teeth. Eyes narrowed showing how they could become red. Fists clenched where the green skin was nearly white... Don looked threatened... Raphael was furious.

"Don't... hurt... Donnie." Mikey wheezed out. "Don't... please... I love... him..."

"LOVE!" Raphael spat out turning to look at Mikey even as Leo looked shocked. "After what he almost did? TRYING TO KILL YOU!"

"He tried to kill you, Mikey... Your brother tried to kill you." Raphael looked at Donatello who looked to the side. "You bastard, you tried to kill-."

"I love him as my ... mate..." Mikey retorted to Raph's ranting only to cause them all to stare at him. Don's face looked horrified as their secret was brought to life. Raphael and Leo looked pale before they looked at each other before at Don. "I love him as my mate." Mikey gave a weak smile as he cried.

"Mate..." Leo stated quietly looking at Don who bared his teeth and looked away. "You... mated to him?"

"Oh god, Don, what the hell do you..." Raph stepped away from Donatello. "How..." Raph turned his face away from Don as he walked over to Mikey, holding him to his chest. "He's our baby brother, Donnie!"

"Does it really matter, huh?" Don shot back glaring at them. "He told me, I just went with it... it doesn't matter anyways because I never felt the same way. Not even once." Don shifted to stand up before he froze as he saw Mikey's face.

It wasn't describable as Mikey's whole body fell forward into his brother's arms. His eyes closed and his body raged with tears. His breathing was laboured... No, it wasn't describable to any of the turtles as their brother lost every ounce of control he had, every emotion he had kept hidden... No, this was something none of them expected as Mikey curled in on himself, pushing his emotions so bottled up out in the open.

Raphael was the first to feel the blood on his arm before he pushed Mikey up to look at him. There dripping from his mouth was blood.

"MIKE!" Raphael gasped out as Leo came to his side ordering him to open Mikey's mouth. There was the evidence as Mikey had nearly bitten his tongue off. Chewed at it...

Days had passed... time had no meaning to the brothers as Mikey walked around avoiding them. Nothing was the same as the two remaining eldest looked on in hatred at Donatello for his actions, and in sorrow at their youngest brother for his scared self.

Nothing was the same when you were broken like Humpty Dumpty.